What If?
by Bronze-and-Navy-is-Creating
Summary: What happens when Christine learns what a real monster is, and comes back only to find her angel of music is battling demons of his own. The demons of illness. Also, awesome friend made the cover art. Warning: This contains really dark and heavy concepts, viewer discretion is advised
1. Chapter 1

I wish I could say I owned something, but I don't. Enjoy.

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Chapter One, Silent House

"Erik?" Christine whispered into the dark house. Madam Giery had given her directions down to his lair. She had to see him. So much had happened… No one had answered so she ventured to the front door of Erik's little cottage, stumbling over old diversions he had used when the mob came, and knocked. There again was no dwellings of life. Then she heard a muffled scratching noise. A cat perhaps? Or… rats?

She turned the knob which was left open. Inside was dark, except for her small lanterns light. The furniture looked untouched since the night she had left, over a month ago. She traveled further to his room and walked in. There was as she knew, a great black coffin lying in the middle of the room. Her nerves seemed to quiver in the silence. What if he had died and she was about to pull back the lid and find…? What if he wasn't here?

She paused in the silence, and then walked over to open the coffin.

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	2. Chapter 2

own nothing, enjoy.

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Inside lay Erik. His eyes closed, face unmasked. She didn't even flinch at the sight. But her breath did catch. It caught for fear, for he truly looked dead. Not believing her senses she reached forwards and touched the thinly skinned skull. He felt like he was on fire. It was only then that his eyes did open. But it was not a sudden angered glare he gave her, it was one of confusion and relief.

"C-Chri-" he was cut off with a horrid rasping coughing fit, that forced his body to sit straight up. She held his skeletal frame close to try in steady him. Bits of blood fell to his legs.

"Shhh." she whispered, extremely concerned now.

What could she do? What was wrong?

"Christine" broke her out of her thought. His hand, paler and thinner (if that was even within possibility) pointed towards the door as he wheezed between coughs "G-go to the-" cough "back there, in t-the" coughs "living room, the smaller books-shelf towards my door" Cough and blood spill from his lips "respiratory medicine vol. two, it will have strange symbols under it, go!" he said hurriedly before, the coughs consumed him once more. She ran, not even questioning it, and saw it on the top most shelf, in large printing there lay the symbols جلد پزشکی تنفسی . دو

and there under that was the french title the poor, terrified woman sought. She jumped and to reach it, then having retrieved it, rushed faster than one could imagine for her size, to the dying man's side.

He reached for it and attempted to sit up but failed. seeing this she supported him as he hurriedly flew through the pages of ill formed handwriting. having to stop for occasional fits. finally near the back of the book he stopped and pointed to a title on the page with more strange symbols. He turned a corner of the page down and whispered in an exhausted voice. "g-get the translator for Persian, on the same b-" but before he finished she was off. she knew what to do and knew she did not have much time at all to do it.

She found the book quickly and rejoined Erik hastily grabbing the book off his lap. It was difficult especially at first. Her heart would race still further with each fit he had. After what seemed an eternity- though it was only thirty minutes, in which she would try to stop and give him water. He would refuse such and just point to the book- she worked out how to brew the drought in the box she learnt was labeled 'sustaining treatments- EMERGENCY'. After making sure of what actions she needed to take she took off to the kitchen. The medicine took only thirty minutes to brew, but thirty minutes was enough to make her heart feel as though it would pop out of her chest and into the foul smelling brew.

She knew she had no time for thought, yet they would constantly plague her with venomous strikes, more frequent with each tick of the clock and each ragged cough that proceeded from the bedroom. 'what if he died before she could tell him..' constantly plagued her as she continued her work. Another even more frightening began to appear in her conscious 'what if I mess this concoction up? what if I.. kill him.' She shuddered at that one and still worked harder.

An hour later Christine emerged, walking fast as possible with a pot sloshing the black tar like medicine. She stood by him as he wheezed, trying to catch his breath, which was even fainter than before.

Christine grabbed the cup she had brought with her and filled it half way. Then she held her angel up and slowly poured the slow tar substance, down his throat, praying that it would work. When it was drained he lay back down and she held his hand. The book from what she could tell would take fifteen minutes to take effect. In the meantime he could not have anything, not even water. If it works it he would fall into a deep sleep and resurface to consciousness in two or three hours time. If not he would begin to cough up blood and drown in it.

"I'm so sorry Erik" She sobbed. "What if I messed up and killed you"

"You haven't my dear… I trust you"

"E-even now?"

He nodded faintly. She knew she shouldn't but the fear of losing him forced her to anyways. What if this was her last chance?

So she bent down and kissed him lightly. He was surprised but returned it. He was still so confused on what was happening, but whatever was happening, there was no demon in hell or angel in heaven that could make him wish it would stop.

When she pulled back he looked at her and whispered. "Christine I… I love you, a-and when I fall asleep, go to the Persian, he lives in a flat on Demont'e, 114 E. bring him here… He shall help you further translate…" He said smiling despite the unbelievable fire in his chest. Perhaps he burning from the inside out, but he truly at that moment did not care. All he cared about was Christine holding his hand.

She tried her hardest to hide her tears and nodded. The she said, choking slightly. "Erik, please… just, just incase, let me tell you all that has happened, you need to know…"

"shh Christine, it can wait.." He said, sensing the girls tense figure and knowing in this condition it was best to wait. She nodded but replied.

"At least let me tell you that… I've, I've learned things. I've learned I was stupid, I've learned that I was neive and ignorant of what a monster really is… I've learned that I love you, and I always have. I was just so foolish to let society corrupt something as beautiful as love… Do not forgive me… At least until you know all… But just know I love you with the entirety of my being Erik… My angel" She said whilst crying. His face seemed to relax and almost seem more alive with each word.

He coughed and wheezed "Christine, my dear, it is you who are the angel, for I am a mere b-beast. But even if I be the beast, I still love thee too, but I believe you know that." he gave this reply with a smile on his face and then whispered starting to fade "oh Christine, please my dear, kiss me once more before I descend into sleep, and please, please promise to be here when I return… I think only an angel such as yourself can guide me back to this world…" And she did so, still crying slightly, half from fear of what was to come, and half from relief that he was fading to sleep and not coughing.

After his eyes closed and did not reopen, she speed off to the kitchen once more to make the permitted tea that the book said would not interfere with the medication. After she set it next to the coffin just in case he should wake, she set off through the cavern once more.

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Things are getting intense. and wait my little opera ghosties, more will be revealed on what happened to her later. Poor, unhappy Erik.


	3. Chapter 3

Encounters are fun aren't they?

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The Persian happened to live in a smaller, older, flat that was still carefully taken care of. She did not just knock lightly on the door, as if she were on an afternoon errand and wished to see an old friend. No she hammered, so loudly infact it was enough to awaken the neighbors dog into a furious frenzy.

A small, tan man opened the door and upon the moment of seeing of whom was about to crash down his door, his face did indeed fall.

"What is it or rather _De changey_ " he recieved her in a cold tone and was about to continue further insults when she interrupted.

"Wait, sir, it is about Erik, He is in great peril! He asked me to retrieve you before his health failed him further and he fell unconscious." She knew she was stretching the truth, but she did it in the hope to compel him of the great urgency that was in this predicament.

She waited in tense silence as he thought 'How can I trust this girl? Perhaps she has already killed him and wants to torture me further… But what if she was not? I could not risk it'

"Very well" He said in a cold tone. "Tell me all that you know. Come with me, I have a carriage." and they were off, to save a friends, a life, and all from the past.

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*plays dramatic travel music* sorry chapters short,


	4. Chapter 4

This is one of those fill in, explain chapters. just warning ya.

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The carriage ride was tense to say the least. Eriks only friend was, quite understandably, not fond of her. She told him of all she knew and he nodded. "Yes I have heard of this illness I believe. It was common in Persia, if a certain spice was old, it can poison and typically kill the consumer. The gypsies that Erik traveled with, were one of the few who knew how to cure it, as it was a spice more common with the poor, who could not afford a doctor. They taught many of their medical practices to Erik so he could have more uses to them, for they could claim to the patient that a mask was needed for treatment. I am glad you came Christine, when you did. Even if I _do_ think that you do not deserve his love, after how you have treated him… But that is not important now, ah we are here. I only hope Erik still has those journals." He stopped the carriage at an abandoned brick building, half destroyed by a long forgotten fire, about half a block from the Opera House. He walked to an edge and carefully pushed back some wooden debris to access a hidden trap door, half concealed by the building, the other half, by wooden rubble. He opened the hatch and reluctantly allowed Christine entry.

The walk to the house was much faster than the route Christine often took. Soon enough they reached the house and The Persian, or Nadir as he told her his name was on there journey to the house. Nadir did not hesitate to barge in and rush to what he knew to be Erik's room. He gestured to Christine to come close.

After examining him and the pot next to him he said "you did well on reviving him. Tell me have you ever taken care of someone girl?" She nodded and for some unknown reason to the Persian, she began to tear up. He looked away for the young woman to collect herself. Then he said, "We must move him to that bed over there, do you see it? the one in black satin" He couldn't resist to mutter "Funny, how this is how he spends his first night on his wedding bed."

She looked at him confused. "He bought it in the small hope you would choose him" was all he said. She nodded sadly and pulled open the lower half of the coffin. He was dressed in the clothes she had last seen him in. Though these had stains complying with that of the sick. She looked at Nadir.

"Perhaps best we clean him first? I could fetch some cold water and rags. Find him more suitable clothes.." He sighed and nodded, settling next to Erik while she hunted for the items. She returned faster than he would have thought possible. He grabbed them from her and she turned away blushing. "I'll go set the bed then, and perhaps some tea for us…" She muttered as to attempt to dilute the awkwardness of the situation.

The entire time she made sure to not look as she undid the covers and scurried out of the room.

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Now lets see our corpse like friend


	5. Chapter 5

quick and painful, this chapter is

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Just as she finished all refreshments, Nadir called her back in. He had tucked his thin body into the blankets and said "The fever that goes along with this is dangerous. It will eventually break but we must keep him from heat stroke. Someone must apply cooling rags every thirty minutes. The fever itself last about a week per interval, the sickness itself can last anywhere from three to six months." She started at the length, but he held up his hands to say "the spice when spoiled grows to have a certain acidity in the bacteria that lives on it, that easily pervades the body and yet it dissolves and sticks to the interior of veins, lungs, and…" His eyes began to sparkle with tears as he looked towards his ill friend as he whispered "throat…"

He took a big breath and said painfully, knowing how this next fact will drive Erik over the edge should it come true. "Sometimes, it can leave damage… There are surgeries if that occurs but…" he trailed off.

Christine Began to sob, for she too knew what this would do to his already unstable sanity. She would take great care of him, and make sure that it never would. She owed him that much, and more. He patted her arm, forgetting in that moment his earlier discontent for her. "I'll do whatever it take." She said quietly.

He nodded and said "Come to the parlor, I wish to not wake him and I know we have more to discuss." She nodded and followed.

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Like I said, Poor, unhappy Erik


	6. Chapter 6

soon my ghosties, one last plan

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Inside the parlor he sipped his tea and began tensely. "What we have now is merely a treatment, but this bacteria, has many stages. The actual cure comes from a plant only grown in Persia. Which means you shall have to continue to administer that and several other medications to him, and care for him, and I shall have to go and get it. It is rare but I know where to find it. I wish I had another choice than to trust you but…" His pause is what she needed to interject.

"Look, I know, I messed up. I know I treated him like a beast, drove him insane… There are so many things I wish I could have done differently, but please understand, I have come here with the intent to fix my wrongs, rather than create more… This month alone has shown me what true monster are… True monsters say they love you, only to hurt you and lie… Erik, while he committed many crimes, never did that. He never wanted to truly hurt me, he always has loved me, truly…" She stopped, not wishing to go further into detail about that month but continued to say, her voice cracking "God, I have made so many mistakes… I would understand and love him still even if he hated me, but he doesn't. I do not pretend to understand how or why, but he does love me and trusts me, and I know he is a dear friend to you, so instead of focusing on me, let us just work together peacefully. Perhaps I may redeem myself in your eyes a bit even."

He thought a moment, then nodded. "Alright, but if you hurt him anymore… I shall make sure you shall never see him again." She nodded and he continued "So as I said I shall leave him to you, I will return as soon as I can, though it could take up to a month. Thankfully I have access to Erik's emergency funds for things such as this. Now had me that book and a notepad. I shall rewrite what it says in an easier way for you to ask it, and notes on how he is to be cared for. Madam Giry shall come by on occasion to retrieve items you might need and to relieve you of your post if something occurs. Now to writing, oh Erik what have you gotten me into now…"

That reminded Christine of an erant question she wished to have answered "Nadir, why did Erik eat the spice, surely he knew it was expired?"

Nadir shook his head "Christine when you left, he was out of his mind. I would come down here twice a week at first, to check on him. He was completely delusional, he kept thinking… You were there.. After a while though, he began to lock himself in his music room and began to pound away at the organ. At first it was just nonsense, and he would scream and laugh and cry… Then it slowly turned into some of the saddest yet most beautiful music I have ever heard. Three weeks ago he said I may leave him be, that he needed to sort himself out. He occasionally would relapse, but he seemed stable enough at the time, I told him I would come once every two weeks, in fact I would have been there tomorrow had you not called. But then It would have been too late."

He continued trying not to think of that possibility "He must've relapsed and put in tea. When not expired it makes a nice tea. Perhaps he thought I was coming over, for I am fond of it on occasion. And I am sure that falling ill, confused him. I suppose it wasn't until he was incapacitated did he realize what had happened. Also I am sure seeing you, rather than being trapped in his head also jogged him out of it, now I must write down all you need to know…" he said setting to work.

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	7. Chapter 7

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An hour later found Christine next to Erik, placing cooling wrags on his forehead, silently praying and still trying to cope with all that had happened… It was only Eriks ragged voice that jogged her out of her reverie. "Christine? y-you stayed"

She jumped then looked at Erik in relief. "Yes angel, and I forever shall. Now that you are awake, Nadir said you are to stay up for one hour then-"

"Return to rest" He finished this well rehearsed line. Then he coughed once more, trying so hard not to move. Christine could only imagine the pain he must be in. But still he smiled with those thin lips of his, despite it all. "I k-know. I've done what you are doing now to many, though never in this bad of condition I'm afraid my dear.." He trailed off weakly then whispered in a dry broken voice "Have you pr-prepared" then he broke off into more coughing. His hand quickly going to his mouth. Christine immediately grabbed the bucket next to her and put it under his chin whilst sitting him up. He expelled the contents of his stomach, which wasn't much. Nadir had told her there might be blood in the vomit but that did not prepare her for what seemed to be a quart of blood.

When he finished he lay back down panting and sweating looking paler than before, if that were possible. He saw her concerned expression but shook his head, as if a cue to not worry. She nodded and ran for the tea and rice which the persian said he could eat. She sat him up properly and placed the tray on his frail lap. He reached for the tea but his hand shook so badly that Christine had to hold it and feed him.

"I-I'm sorry I am so frail…"

"Shh. It is not your fault, I do not mind." And she truly did not. her only thought was of him getting well again.

After she had finished she asked, "do you have an alarm of sorts? I need to make sure I keep a schedule." If she didn't he could overheat, miss a dose…

To her relief he nodded and said "pantry closet, there is a small travel one." With that she set off to set it for the next cooler and notice it had already been half an hour since he had regained consciousness.

She hurried back and he grabbed her wrist with.. A concerned look, for HER. "Christine, tell me, before I fell asleep you mentioned you had to explain…" But she shook her head.

"It will take too long and in your condition I don't think you could handle the news at this moment. I promise you though, when you can stay awake longer than an hour. It will take a while to explain anyways… I'm still not sure of what… nevermind, anyways, anything you need?" He shook his head, but then blushed (well his cheeks weren't as pale) and mumbled."What was that?"

"Bathroom…" He looked away. She smiled slightly at him, it was rare to see him so bashful.

"Alright, here I can carry you there." And she without waiting for his reply, scooped him up. And so there long road to his recovery was to begin, with Christine there. Being his guardian angel.

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	8. Chapter 8

The phantomess in box five greatly appreciates her ghosties review. Now, lets visit our Persian friend shall we?

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Leave it to Erik to need one of the hardest spices in Persia to find, Was Nadir's first thought on boarding his train. The second was how was he to get in? He knew that the Gypsies would steal it from small doctors offices, when it was being delivered. The plant itself had many healing properties, but was so difficult to grow that many can not afford its price.

But Nadir, still having a bit of that police instict, could not bring himself to rob a normal hospital. No, the only other place was… The palace.

As royalty they of course had every healing spice and remedy the world had to offer, on hand. Just incase someone has a runny nose.

Nadir sighed. It was moments like this that he missed his criminal mastermind of a friend. Of course having worked there for so long, he knew his way around better than any regular guard. The problem was the family seeing him. If they did, with his banishment for saving Erik in place, he would be killed, and even if he did get away, he would lose his money. But, reflecting on his dear friend who had helped him, it was worth it.

Just then Darius arrived with some tea. Nadir nodded his thanks and said "are you as confused as I on how to get it?"

Darius thought a moment, and gave an evil grin, and that took Nadir by surprise. "You are used to walking in the front door, I however am used to the back door. The one no one noticed, and the one Erik 'tweaked' in case of a quick getaway. Of course we know he did not make it that far… But the door should be still there. and no one notices a servant, also my dear friend, perhaps we shall part with a bit of our lovely facial hairs and, you have gone on in years…" Nadir jokingly waved his friends joke.

"So we stake out, pay off a couple servants, trade places, get the herb, and go on? I could steal a carriage and we ditch it at a loading train, hide on board, get off at the first stop, and pay there we go home?" Nadir nodded. Hopefully it would be that easy.

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But of course, we all know any story with our Erik in it, it wont be that easy


	9. Chapter 9

Hi Ghosties, This is starting to get real juicy right here.

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Sleep was a long forgotten luxury to Christine. Her and Erik worked out a complex but somewhat working system. She would stay in his room while he slept for an hour, to re apply cold wraps, and whenever she did feel too tired to stay awake that hour she would go to the living room so the alarm would not wake him. Sometimes, if Erik seemed fidgety and restless when he fell asleep, regardless of her exhaustion, she'd stay with him. He would calm down and rest better when he felt her hand in his, but the moment she would leave his nightmares would return to plague him. Not that she slept well on her own. She would have so many nightmares about that night.

She was still so confused. She remembered going to her old home, and… Every time she thought about it she would shiver. and then through hazy eyes, large hands reaching for her laughing. Erik seemed just as curious and concerned about her, as she was with him.

Erik himself was doing slightly better. He was by no means cured, not even able to walk yet, but he coughed slightly less and hardly got sick all over the blankets any more. He was, to Christine's great surprise, a very passive patient. She figured with his temper and stubborn streak he would be beyond irritable, but in fact he hardly made a complaint. Perhaps it was because he felt safe with her? Or had learned not to complain about pain in his dark and unknown childhood? She would often speculate this while watching occasional nightmares flicker across the skull like face. The only time he was even tense in her care was the first time she had to change his clothes and start wrapping his torso, for it had become swollen from the constant coughing and was causing him great pain.

"Erik?"

"Yes Christine?" he whispered in a tired pained voice, having just awakened.

"It is time to change your clothes and apply the bandage you said would help." He froze and looked at her scared.

He attempted to regain composure and plead "I-I can do it. Just hand me the-" Then he broke off in a terrible fit. When he was done, it seemed to sap his strength and he knew he was wrong. All he said was as she was about to begin "please… Just know, it is not just my face that is… Imperfect"

She looked at him sadly and gently moved his face to look at her own. "I see no imperfections here. Just someone with a unique and in its own amazing way, beautiful face and mind." She knew he wanted to object but he broke into another horrifying coughing fit before he could do so.

After he was done, she lifted his feather light torso and slowly lifted his shirt off, and tried to hide her gasp.

Scar after scar scattered all over the skeletal body, in some sort of twisted, demented painting. She couldn't look away nor could she help but whisper "oh, poor Erik. What happened…"

"Life" he said in a soft whisper, watching her examin his body, and not run away, or laugh, but instead look actually concerned.

She looked up at him. "Erik, please, I want to know…"

And the fear of her knowing, of him having to relive that, sent him into what he called his 'other self.' From a young age, he had had to cope with many things, and did not exactly have access to an outlet. So he began to speak in third person when distressed, so he could pretend it was not happening to him, but someone else, and he was just observing.

"And Erik does not want anyone to know. Erik WISHED he did not know, like his sweet Christine." He said this in a higher, childlike voice, which strained his throat and made him cough more. This seemed to snap him out of it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I know it always worries you…" She just waved it away.

"I'm actually surprised you lasted this long without doing it. It is fine love. Anyways how about a compromise. Each of us has a story we don't want to tell, so when you are well enough, we both tell our stories, and in the meantime we can ask small questions, and if the other one is ok with answering it, we can?" He looked relieved and nodded.

Christine knew moving him about would hurt him so she tried to distract him. "So since you are the ill one, would you like to go first o asking?" She said while starting to place the start of the wrap in the middle of his chest. Trying so hard to not think of someone hurting him so, and trying harder to not think about how she had once still further tortured this poor man.

He nodded and smiled slightly at the consideration. Then asked "y-you know we never did get to know the small stuff about each other… it was always teaching. How about in light of this, I start out small… I-I know." He rasped quietly. "What is your favourite colour?"

She smiled as she held him up, trying to speak in the sweetest voice possible, in the hopes he'd forget his current pain. "Dark red."

He raised the skin that would be his where his eyebrow would be, that was a rather, passionate colour for little Christine. "Why?"

She smiled, knowing he'd love the answer "Because, it is the colour of the roses my tutor gives me of course." And he did smile, but it was interrupted by coughing. Christine skillfully held up his torso in one hand and kept place her bandage with the other. When he finished she quickly finished her job and deciding to leave his shirt and then moved further down. "Erik, I'm going to have to change your pants…" He just nodded, and took a small breath and tried to ignore what she was now seeing. This was not how he imagined Christine seeing him in his… entirety. He was half compelled to tell her he does in fact, look slightly better than this normally. But who was he kidding, he still was an ugly beast.

She could not help but stare as the scares continued the length of his long body. No wonder he did not want to talk about it. Then for another second, she stared at what was between his legs. Scars did surround and from what she could tell, resided on his… She could not help but whisper, "Oh Erik…" But snapped out of it, knowing her words were only bringing him discomfort of memory. she quickly grabbed his clothes and began to dress him saying "Anyways, what is your favourite colour?"

He answered in a pained voice "pink."

Now it was Christine's turn to be shocked, she had expected a dramatic dark colour, not something so… light. "Why?"

He smiled as she readjusted his blankets and tucked him in, as he replied "It is a nice living colour. It is rare to find anything too painful in that colour. Also it is the colour of your cheeks, and the colour of twilight… Twilight and the end of sunset is the only time I m-may see the sun, as it is just dark enough for me to hide." She smiled at this softer sweeter side of Erik.

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As time went on, they revealed more and more of each other, still staying away from the bigger stuff. He learnt her favourite song was actually Music of the Night, much to his surprise and joy. On a heavier note he explained why he would sometimes speak in that childlike voice. In an attempt to lighten the mood she asked and learnt his favourite food was of all things, a swedish dish, called rosenmunnar. A sweet dessert she remembered her father making. He had it once, from a small woman who was selling them at a train stop, while he was on his way to a small town on the outskirts of France for new hairs for his bow. She was a small elderly woman who said she had some left over from her adoptive daughter's birthday. He was telling her as much when he stopped and looked at her sad face.

"Christine? What is the matter?"

She wanted to tell him, but knew now was not the time so she just shook her head and tried to relax her expression. "I will tell you later, it's nothing really. Now it is time for medicine and new rags…"

"You mean sewer water…" he grumbled trying to get her to smile. She did so, but it looked forced and pained. oh how he hated this illness. If he could he would sweep Christine into his arms and kiss away the pain, and fix whatever he could. But he couldn't. He wasn't even strong enough to withstand her explaining her past, he wasn't even allowed to growl at the air in frustration! For it would only bring another barrage of that blasted coughing. Oh how he wished he'd check the date on that bloody spice… His thoughts were interrupted by that foul medicine.

She quickly did her work and made sure he drifted off to sleep. After waiting a moment to see if he would stir too horribly, she left him for the sofa. More and more frequently she found herself here, trying to remember… And with Erik's mention of the small old woman, there was little doubt on who she was. So half exhausted she fell asleep trying to figure it out…

 _It was dark when she returned home, and as someone helped her out of the carriage. She had asked her fiance to take her to her adoptive mother,_ _Madame Valérius_ _house, as that is where she was staying until the wedding. Raoul helped her out of the carriage and to her room. The world had been so hazy and she quickly fell asleep. She was awoke to the sounds of screaming. She felt trapped in her body as she stumbled to the living room, where she found the body of her beloved guardian, on the floor bleeding from the slit in her throat. The men around the dead woman turned and she-_

Christine sat up screaming her lungs out as it echoed around the cavern.

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Now that you are anxious to know what happened, lets be evil and check up on our dear Darroga


	10. Chapter 10

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The train stopped three days later and soon they stationed themselves in a small hotel near the palace. It was in the lower class district and was home to a few servants who did not live in the palace. To say he was nervous to be in his home country was an understatement. He actually found himself again, wishing he had Erik's help, for even though he could scare even the Persian at times, but in situations such as this, he did make him feel safer. Even if he'd never tell his dear friend that.

Darius had convinced him in his fearful state to shave down his typical facial hair, as to further his appearance from the hopefully long forgotten Darroga. Darius also scoped out and discovered the trap door, the only trap door not known to the Sultan, invented by Erik, was still operational and would lead straight into a bathroom on the second floor. After two nights in Persia, they started their plans, in a press for time.

Darius had followed home to staff members, who were brothers trying to support their large families. Nadir hid in the shadows of an alley near their home. The plan was simple. Darius would confront the two men, give them a hefty sum to take one day off, and be on there way. The two, eventually came forward and Darrius intercepted them. Nadir had no clue what he said, but whatever it was, it was enough to convince the two to, happily, comply with the trade. Step one down, now all they had to do was get to their room and prepare for tomorrow. Tomorrow would of course be much, much, more difficult.

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Nadir could hardly sleep. He never could the night before a mission. That was something him and Erik shared- then again the strange masked man hardly slept at all for that matter-, the night he snuck him out of Persia and all the way home, he did not sleep. Despite the bags under his small sunken eyes.

The dawn found the two crawling into the small crawl space, cleverly disguised as an old window, that was adjacent to real ones from the cellar below. inside the dark small space. They could feel the cold metal of a later pressed against the chests. "Right, I'll go first" said Nadir. He grabbed the rail and started to travel the long dark passage. It felt like an hour had passed when he reached the top, for he knew he had as his head made a nice loud thunk upon contact with the stone ceiling. "Oh Khayeh" He muttered, and then he felt for the hatch. Once he located it, he pressed his ear to the door for a moment. silence. So with that in mind, he pushed as quietly open the small hatch open, and quickly ran to the door. After closing and locking it, he lit the small lantern in the corner of the room. Darius was just coming through when they heard foot steps. Both of their breathes caught.

"Did you see last night's beheading? The executioner truly must've hated that guy, I mean who misses the neck SEVEN times?" Said a servant as they passed. Once their footsteps faded, Nadir checked to see if the cost was clear.

The hall was empty so they quickly exited. The balcony outside showed the sun was just rising, which meant they had about two hours before servants would flood the halls, coming to royalties every five minutes. So they made their way down the stairs, heart still pacing like mad.

Once they came to the first floor, and all but ran to the garden located next to the live in doctor they heard a voice. "Servants, one of you get what you need, the other please come help in the kitchen, The Sultan is planning a ball tonight, and I can barely get anything in or out because of these blasted extra Guards they hired for the occasion." Both of their hearts stopped at the words 'extra guards.'

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	11. Chapter 11

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She could not believe what she remembered. Her body felt as if it were going into shock when a loud crash behind her caught her attention. Erik had heard the scream and had, despite not being able to stand without great issue, had flew to the door and was holding onto a bookshelf for support, as he hurried to Christine's pale terrified face, coughing all the way.

She jumped up and helped him to the couch automatically. Once he was settled he turned to her. Her body shook and she was hyperventilating uncontrollably. Erik had seen her scared, but never like this. "Chr-Christine?" He choked out, still unable to calm his raging chest. "What i-i-i-s it?"

She was snapped out of it, and then saw the clock next to Erik, she'd slept past his last two doses. "Oh my! I forgot-"

"It's o-o-k I noticed you were exhausted and let y-" He had to stop talking for his chest was too stiff and coughed a while longer. "you rest. I gave dosages to myself. You left the pot in there. Y-"coughing "your scream woke me." He winced but tried to hide it. The medicine had the side effect of burning the consumer throughout his veins, hence why the sleep tonic was infused with it.

"I'm sorry" She panted. When he looked as if he was going to ask what was wrong again she held up her hands. "Next week, when… when we can talk about it all. But…" She knew she was exhausted but did not want to be alone with.. things she could not think of right now, and Giry would be by tomorrow. "I think I shall stay with you, and stay till Giry comes tomorrow, I… I can not sleep now." If she did not look so scared he would have protested, but as she looked paler than him -an achievement he must add- he did not. "Now let me, take you to your room. I'm sorry I.." He only waved and dismissed her apologies, still coughing. He was now used to Christine carrying him, as he weighed the same as a small child it was just easier to carry him to the bathroom this way. He gently laid into her arms as she made the short trip.

After she settled him in she asked to do something she never had before. While they loved each other greatly, she would never touch him while laying down for her own comfort saying "Only after you know, and forgive me truly, will I give myself this pleasure" She wouldn't even initiate kisses after that first time for the same reason, but she always gratefully received them. but tonight she was scared she asked "Is it alright if I do not stay on my side? I-"

He smiled and interrupted her with "I'd b-be delighted." and so she gently curled right up next to him, snuggling her head into his arm. He smiled after one coughing fit and lifted his arm so she could scootch closer to his side, and so he could hold her. She smiled a little at the gesture and softly pulled out a random book that she had grabbed on her way into the room, as to distract herself. Then she looked up at him as he was propped on what he called a mountain range of pillows. "Thank you, you know despite our long history, I have always felt a certain security, around you. I feel safe in your arms." If anything could make him smile, her saying that was right near the top of the list. Then he saw the book. His eyes went wide but then, after truly thinking he relaxed. She wished to know his past, and she had accidently grabbed his newest journal. But this shouldn't have too much in it so he said "I think you grabbed my journal." She looked in shock then he continued before she could give it to him. "It is fine. I have nothing to hide anymore, I do not care, t-the past is the past, and that one does not contain much of my past that I wish to personally tell you, which you will soon know… Just when you read it, do not judge ME until you've heard my story. And yes you may ask me questions when I awake." He smiled and gave a small cough. She was surprised as well as happy at this generosity, and as she noticed his eyes start to droop she did something she had not done in month. She began to sing. It was a simple song, he would sing when she was sick. But he smiled as he fell asleep and actually looked truly at peace for once as he slipped into unconsciousness.

She turned her thoughts to the book, trying as much as she could to not think of what she now remembered. Thinking that this should keep her occupied for a good eight hours until Giry's arrival she opened the book.

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	12. Chapter 12

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The two looked at eachother and then Darius, knowing he would be less recognizable stepped forwards while Nadir went ahead. He would just come back and say he was sent to get someone and go off to pretend to serve someone else. Now to find that plant…

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The herbal garden was much larger than Nadir remembered. It took him a good half hour to locate the small herb section, and even longer to find the small dark green, thin limbed plant that was his target. He pulled out his collection vile and stripped the plant of its leaves. That was when he turned around to a gardener, who was looking at him in complete suspicion. Nadir just smiled and was about to leave when the gardener asked "Who is that for sir?"

"Doctor wished to replenish his supply"

The gardener put his tools down and stepped closer. "That's strange. Very strange, as he has been dead for a week now and they are looking for a new one" Nadir's heart froze as the gardener opened his mouth "GAU-" but he was cut off by Nadir grabbing his rake and hitting him over the back of the head. After he made sure he was breathing he slowly and vigilantly hid the body in tobacco stalks. Then he stood up. This was not going well at all. He had to get out of there quickly before the guards found the body. Now where was Darius…

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After Nadir left the cook dragged him in and set him to organizing a cart of food, that was to be breakfast for the royals. "So you knew here?" asked the cook.

"You could say that. Say what room is this going to again?"

"The prince's. Third floor, red door. Can't miss it" Darius tipped his hat in thanks and started to push the cart. after setting the food on the shaft that would, by the way of a pulley, bring it up to the third floor.

After what seemed like a thousand steps, he managed to find the small shaft and carry it to the giant red door in the middle of the hall. The cook had been right, you really couldn't miss it. He knocked and when he heard a moan of pain he bust in.

And there on the floor was his niece, completely naked, bloodied and being whipped by non other than the prince.

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	13. Chapter 13

Now let's descend once more into Erik's insanity.

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The first page had been what looked like the raving of a mad man. But the longer she read, the more engrossed she became. She began to slowly understand why Erik was the way he was, and it was a painful thing. Her heart felt like someone had stabbed her as she read things such as;

 _Today I followed them onto the roof tops. I know it was wrong but you must know Erik, Erik would not get to know Christine's true feelings if not… And I do and do not regret learning them. Erik knew he wanted a honest wife. She did not have to be even living, no he knows he can not even hope for that. Not even dream, no he is too evil for good like that. But honesty, yes honest wife he could. For honesty can also hurt Erik. And that is fair for he is bad person. She said as much when she told that ungrateful man her true feelings. Erik knows he should not of locked her away, but he was so scared. Scared she would leave him too… He knew he was bad, but he loved her. And he knew he would give her more love and passion than this boy ever could. For he had nothing but her, while he had it all, his attention was divided always. Vain yes, very vain. But when she started to confess her love, Erik knew he could not have her heart, no he would have that too, UNGRATEFUL PRIVILEGED SWINE. Though she had his heart. Erik had lost everything he had ever gained in that small moment. Erik had no heart anymore. He gave his soul away and it was banished. Curse his face, for it was the reason he had lost his heart. His face was why he must now get her back. He would avenge his soul. For he was hurt. He wanted to die right now but couldn't. He had tried before and god would not let him, for he hated Erik. Erik did not want to hurt Christine but his face did. It always did. His face is why he had never know his mother's love, never known the true light of day, never known anything but music… That is what Christine gave him. A reason for music… Now it was all gone… GONE… NOOOO…. no he would pay, look, I hope we die, oh it hurts, please make it stop stop stop… Oh I will kill that boy and Christine wiiill beee hhapappppy with me. yes that is it. No it isn't I can't. I love her. She doesn't love you, can you know this? yes, … If I can let her go I will… and if not I will make sure I will die with a sinned smile that night. I only hope she'll forgive me… Goodbye my soul, for you have left me, perhaps forever tonight._

Christine now knew, even when Erik had been broken beyond his understanding, he had still decided he would let her go. She smiled exhausted at him, as he twitched a smile in his sleep, feeling her still curled next to him. She felt bad of course for hurting him, but had already decided to leave that mental topic alone until she could properly understand the mysterious man she loved. She quickly reached and changed his rags when she heard a knock. It was Giry.

She quickly ran to the door and let in the woman. She nodded and Christine invited her into the livingroom to explain.

After a long while later she asked the woman if she would mind taking care of Erik for a day so she could rest. Giry smiled at the girl and said "Of course, you look almost as tired as that night… Forgive me, I shouldn't speak of such things so soon…"

"It is alright"

"Have you told Erik?"

"No I wish to some time next week when I can transition him into the secondary medicine, that should help stabilize him longer until Nadir can return… Madam, I r-remember but I do not want him to know, and I fear I will lose control again if it is brought up too often could you.."

"Yes of course child. Now I daresay you need rest. How about I make you a small sleeping draught that Erik taught me to use with Meg when she was younger. It will give you a deep dreamless sleep" She smiled gratefully at the old woman and nodded. Giry had been such a godsave since the incident…

"I'll be in the room." Giry raised an eyebrow. She normally would not allow such a thing, but with everything Christine had endured, she had no room to tell her not to.

Christine quietly closed the door and curled up once more next to Erik, feeling somewhat safer in his arms. The old woman came in and gave it to the already half asleep Christine. She smiled gratefully and curled up next to him once more, and managed to sleep into a nice deep sleep…

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aww, don't you just love sweet little chapters.


	14. Chapter 14

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Darius looked down in complete shock, then he felt his blood boil to heights he never knew existed. He sent the tray he was carrying, crashing onto the attackers head. Then he climbed on top and delivered blow, after blow, after blow. No one was to touch his niece like that. . He knew she had said she was to work in the palace in one of the occasional letters she sent him, but he never knew this was happening. Had he, he would have come straight down here and got her.

Eventually when there was too much blood for him to tell WHERE his skull was he stopped. Then he faced his niece and realized the situation. oh what a mess he had gotten them into. He had no pity for the dead man on the floor. Only concern for his niece. He quickly went to her, she had fainted from all the commotion, so he carefully took the sheets off the giant bed in the center of the room, and began to quickly clean and clothe her in it. Eventually deciding it would be easier to carry her, he wrapped her up further and quickly changed his clothes for that of the deceased prince. After that he began to worry about guard's. Cursing he stoop up and tried to find a window. Maybe he could jump? But then the door opened again.

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Now profusely sweating Nadir hurried back to the Kitchen. He found the cook and asked "Have you seen that gentleman I was with earlier? I forgot to give him something." The cook busy in his work responded "third floor, Princes room." Nadir knew exactly where that was, and hurried off as fast as he could without drawing attention. When he reached the third floor he saw blood pooling out from under the door.

His eyes went wide, and his heart seemed to stop completely when he saw the guards turning a corner on the other side. Knowing that he must investigate first he made a quick plan that would make Erik proud of it's on the spot speed. "Hey! Thank Allah I found you! There is someone knocked out in the garden, you might want to come see this!" He made a quick prayer that they did not slip in the pool now distracted with the idea of the gardener. Thankfully this worked and they managed to not see the blood and to get past him.

He made a silent prayer of thanks and then rushed to the door.

"OH Darius! What have you done!"

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	15. Chapter 15

Sorry for such a long time. My father has been sick in the hospital and I have been sick at home myself. Just as a quick note, if I say Destler in my replies to comments I mean my bf, not Erik. This is one of my favourite chapters and I hope you ghosties will agree. As a time of reference, Giry arrived at their little home at 6 am (she does seem like a morning person ya know?) lastly, if you like Raoul at all, you will hate this chapter, but will come to understand later on why the events that occur occur. Ps. if you have never liked Meg before, you might begin to rethink that in this chapter.

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Christine woke in a haze many hours later. Her joints felt stiff from her well needed rest. A voice next to her made her jump and remember where she was. "I-I'm glad to see you awake" Erik croaked out looking at her slightly amused, for she had in sleep sprawled out like a cat on to his lap. She smiled a little bit and mumbled "Sorry, how long was I out?"

"Almost twenty four hours" answered a tired voice behind her. She turned to see Giry handing her a glass of well appreciated water. Christine's eyes lit in alarm.

"Oh dear, I am so sor-"

"Nonsense my child. You needed it. Besides, it has been a nice change for this old woman. Much easier, quieter, and Erik when he is awake, is actually quite marvelous company."

She gave a nostalgic grin. "He can be, he would often keep me company when I was alone or sick when I came here. He mostly sang but he would on occasions tell stories." After realizing her words and that he might not be able to sing again her smile fell, but she made sure to keep that hidden from Erik, who was, fortunately for the facial slip, coughing at the moment. She quickly banished that thought from her head. 'On day at a time' that was what she had to tell herself. It would be too much to think about if she did all at once. She took a breath and massaged Erik's hand while he held his chest in pain. Today she needed to visit the market, she needed clothes and did not want to return to… She shook her head and kept on. She also needed some basic groceries and herbs for Erik's medicine, also a nice gift… When he could he has always been one to spoil her in gifts. Birthdays, Christmas, get well presents. And she had the perfect one in mind.

"Madam?" She said looking at the woman as she reloaded a tray that was used to transport Erik's medicine. Erik himself was already starting to doze and snore (something he claims he only does when he sick, but Christine always doubted that, but thought the tiny snores were a little funny and in a weird weird way, cute, coming from this strange, tall, skeletal man)

"Can Meg meet me down here in about an hour or two? I want to go shopping, but I do not wish to go alone. I hope you don't mind staying here for a small while longer…"

"No problem dear, I will be back shortly." She said exiting the stayed for a minute longer on the bed. She was terrified to leave Erik's side she knew. For many reasons. What if something happened and he dies while I am out? What if something happens to me… She felt safe with Erik, for she knew he would die for her, and somehow take them with himself. Even though she vowed to never put him in harm's way again, she still felt naturally safer by his side. She used to not fear the outside as she does now, but every time she even thinks of leaving her new little safe haven - ironic in a way that is- she thinks of those cold, strong hands rushing for her-

She sat up. She had to move, do something, or she would go mad. Get dressed Christine, get dressed and ready for the outside world. She shivered and then took a breath to calm her nerves. 'Just like acting' she would think to herself in repetition. Even though she knew full well, deep down, it wasn't.

Meg came in and immediately ran to Christine, who was telling the just now waking Erik where she was going. She had just finished kissing Erik goodbye when Meg almost tackled her to the floor. They had always been friendly with each other, but in the past month or so they had become close, living together and all. And after everything was prepared, they set off on their way, using the passage Nadir had used when she had first returned with him.

Christine had forgotten how bright the sun was when it hit her dead on in the face. "I swear, it gets brighter every time I see it from coming from his house." Meg giggled and then looked around. It was a quiet street but she had an idea of where to go from there. Paris was always a maze, even for those who had lived there since birth, but thankfully for Christine Meg actually lived for puzzles. Not once could she be found without a puzzle or riddle book somewhere on her person. So she was able to quickly find the street she was in search for. She turned to Christine who looked nervously around at all the people milling about.

"Before we start I want to go ahead and pick up my week's pay." Christine nodded, for she knew Meg had started working at a small pub during the off season the opera. She had started it after the great opera fire with the chandelier as it had taken so long to repair and Meg is not necessarily the best at being frugal so a part time barmaid she became.

They entered the establishment quickly. It certainly was not the roughest in all of Paris, but it was certainly no place for a gentleman. That was why they both, but Christine more so, were stunned to see non other than Raoul sitting at the bar, hand over a white bandage covering the right side of his face.

Christine began to shake. Memories of that night came flooding back. Meg noticed her terrified companion, and steered her gently over to a wall. "Christine" She said a few times, it took her a moment but eventually her eyes fell on Meg's face. Now she had her attention she said in a calm voice "you stay here, right here. No one will touch you, trust me. Now I have to do something real fast ok, then I will be back and we can go." Christine looked almost green but she nodded anyways. Meg nodded once then turned around and started towards her destination practically marching in anger.

When Christine had shown up at her and her mother's home she began to babble, trying to say what all she had remembered that night. She had no one else to turn to, covered in bruises, dirt, and blood, and the things she couldn't understand or remember, Meg had a very good guess. Over the following weeks Meg became her best friend, and it was she who helped her work out her issues and made her realize she was still in love with Erik. It had been Meg that had helped her enough to where she could go outside without suffering extreme panic attacks.

She marched up behind the counter and pulled aside her manager, making sure to stay out of Raoul's sight. "Do you remember what all I said happened to my friend when I took that week off a couple of weeks ago?" she whispered. Her manager nodded. She had told him everything and he was beyond disgusted someone could do that. He had two lovely daughters of his own and a wife he adored more than life itself. "Well he is over there. May I do something and not get penalized?"

"Of course Meg, just don't kill him. I would rather not have cops crawling around here because a 'noble' was murdered."

"Thank you sir, and may I have this weeks pay before I make a dramatic exit?" He chuckled at that. Theatre folk could be quite entertaining to work with, and they were always great with customers.

"Here, you go, and I threw in a few extra, for the performance I'm about to see" he said winking and handing her the money. She smiled and then turned.

She stomped up to Raoul and before he could so much as utter a gasp of surprise picked him up (for she was extremely strong for her size, after all she was a ballet dancer and she had been helping load in beer and ale for the bar) by his collar, ripped off his eye patch and punched him hard in the ugly thick scraps on the side of his face. He stumbled, clutching his the newly exposed wound and then she used all the strength in her dancer legs to hit him as hard as she possible could right between the legs. His hands flew right towards his injured spot and he let out a high pitched moan, and lastly she landed a blow with her other foot right in his stomach.

The now laughing bar man who had no sympathy for him asked one of his stunned employees to throw this vermin out back with the garbage. Meg gave a satisfied smirk and grabbed Christine's arm, escorting her out quietly.

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One day you will know what the hell Raoul did... And you shall hate him with a fiery passion.


	16. Chapter 16

Now let's check on our little Persian

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Nadir's heart was racing, he knew the only way they could evade the dogs when found was water… and the irrigation that led to the garden was obviously off limits, so that left one way. the water routes that the bathroom waste was drained into… He turned to his friend and said "Makes sure her wounds are completely covered. The hounds will be here soon, but there is one way we can go and have a head start… You wrap her tight, I will make a basket of laundry and act like this cart is what I am carrying it with. See if you can fit and cover her on it. I will go with you down to the lower levels, and once we are alone in a room near the tunnel's entrance, we will run for our lives" If it were not for the situation Darius would point blank refuse this trek, but he knew he had no choice.

Darius loaded the unconscious girl onto the cart and they carefully covered her in various clothing article. Then they both hurried out. It seemed everyone had run to the disturbance with gardener and so the halls were deserted. The palace was so large in its layout that it seemed to take ages before they could even get to the correct wing. with each passing minute they feared a guard would turn a corner, but it was silent. Nadir had said thirteen mental prayers to Allah when they eventually they found the door that led to the small tunnel that led to a smelly, nasty river that seemed to flow on forever. Nadir knew there had to be an opening at some point for the workers who built and maintained it to enter through. He gestured to his friend first. Darius glared but put his niece on his shoulders and began to wade through the dirt and grime. Nadir grimacing at the fact he had to follow suite, closed the door and walked in. The darkness was terrifying coupled with the small scurrying he could he on the walls around him. But he knew they were far less worrisome that whatever would wait above them. It was about five minutes into the walk when there came a muffled scream. Darius immediately attempted to find the opening so she could speak in the dark for a good ten minutes. This feet was made difficult by the fact he could not let her down and she was thrashing. Eventually he freed her mouth and she began to babble hysterically.

"Please, please! Asal! It is I, Uncle Darius!" At the name she stopped and stuttered his name. Then she began to sob.

"I'm so sorry, I should have listened, I should have" Darius patted her back and soothed her.

"Shh, we will talk about it all later. Now we must go and leave Persia, it is no longer safe" She stopped moving and then let out a horrified cry.

"I can't! I can't"

Nadir, so confused in the interaction asked, "Why can't you child?"

"My Son! My Son is still at home! I am the only one he has!"

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Poor Nadir, always finding more and more trouble. No wonder he and Erik are friends.


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry I have been gone so long, I have had school and my father has been terribly sick with pneumonia, but anyways the show must go on.

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Christine was shaken to say the least. Meg looked at her concerned and asked "Do you wish to go home? You look paler than Erik, which is an accomplishment at the very least."

The small bit of warm humour seemed to shake Christine from her thoughts. "N-no, I'll be alright. Come on, I want to hurry back, your mother has already been kind enough already, I'd hate to keep her any longer than necessary."

Meg gave a small smile at the tiny blond. Really it was like a brave small dog, defending its master, even though it was shaking as it barked. " Alright, well let's go on" and with that she looped her arm through Christine's and they were on there way.

Christine looked around trying to think of what to get Erik as a present (and to keep her mind off things she had forbade herself thought of). He had always gotten her gifts on her birthday, for Christmas, and even when she herself was sick. Sometimes it was a dress she might have mentioned liking once. Or jewelry that matched well with her blue eyes. This time, she planned to return the favour.

They purchased the necessary herbs and it was on their way to get plain rices, and other such assortments, when she heard a small cry.

She stopped by the window she was passing, trying to identify the noise. When it happened again she looked down and saw hiding under a box was a very tiny kitten. It was dirty and malnourished, but she picked it up anyways. Even as a small child she hated seeing pitiful creatures on the streets suffering.

"Christine what are you doing?"

She held the kitten in one hand for Megs inspection. It had yet to open its eyes, it had an ear bitten into by some animal, possibly a rat, and its tail, so small was bent awkwardly, but it was its tiny face that seemed to captivate Christine. For the most part it's body was black, but its face had the most unusual pattern of white spots. It was ugly and yet so enchantingly beautiful. Then a memory of a conversation she had held with Erik a few days ago came into her head…

 _Christine readjusted Erik lightly in the bed and sat down in her usual chair. After She changed his dressings and gave him food, they usually had about ten minutes of quiet conversation._

" _So I believe it is your go my dear" He whispered._

" _Hmm" She said trying to think of a good easy question for him. Then she remembered something she had been meaning to ask for a few days now. "Where is Caeser?"_

 _Erik seemed slightly surprised she remembered his beloved horse, having only met him a couple of times. "If I remember corr- coughing- ectly, Naddir took him the night after y-your departure. He said he would take him to a stable to be well cared for, and would return him to me when I had calmed." he finished wheezing._

" _You know, I was always surprised he was your only pet, I know you were, beyond lonely…"_

 _He smiled slightly at the attention and sympathy. "I never felt it fair, to lock away something that did not understand why…" he paused for breath and then went on " Caesar is different as I can use him and take him above ground. But any other companion would not get such luxury as I could n-not, w-w-walk a dog down the street or hope a cat would return to me…"_

 _She smiled sadly and said "Well, you know now, I could take them above on occasion, and make sure they return, if you wanted."_

 _He smiled at the image of Christine petting some small creature seated next to him. "Perhaps one day…"_

She smiled brightly, as she knew exactly what to get Erik. "Meg, do you know of any vets near here?"

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Aww, short sweet little chapter. Now let us watch Nadir reach a new level of 'are you kidding me', or as they would say back then 'this must be a jest'. Because, Nadir's adventure is about to get all the more dangerous...


	18. Chapter 18

Thank you ghosties for your reviews :)

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"Child?!" Exclaimed Darius.

The girl was overcome with sobs in his arms as she blubbered. "Y-yes, child. I had him two years ago out of wedlock… I did not want you to think poorly of me… Mother kicked me out and you were the only one who w-would even write to me… I h-had to take the job because it was the only place that would higher m-me…"

"Oh child... I am disappointed, but I would never renounce you.. shhh it shall be ok. We will take you away from this retched place, you and your child. You can explain everything on the journey home. Now shhh, tell me young one, where does he live. One of us can go fetch him."

She seemed overcome with confusion and gratefulness as she said quickly "In the poor district on the outskirts of town, by the old bakery, run by the h'asan's for years. It is the only one with purple drapes over the front window."

Nadir decided on the spot it would be easier if he went, so Darius could tend to his family. He reached in his pocket and held high above his head one of the two vials with herbs in them and said "Darius, I will place in your hand a vial of the medican. Take the quickest route North, they will expect us to run to a port, not the mountains. Go in the night on a cargo haul. wait a few days, take the most convoluted route, be at Erik's place within two weeks. Send word to Christine when you have arrived in a small town in the north. I will meet you at his house." Then he moved slowly through the water and felt with his other hand until he was holding his friends. Then after placing the vial into his hand they both continued for a few more minutes until a porthole was reached.

"Take care of him, the both of them." is what Nadir said as he ventured off going away from his friends, trying to get to the nearest house, that he could sneak into via window. After finding a small dwelling place, seemingly vacant through the window with no glass, he quickly crawled in, dries off with a discarded old robe near the bed, and found a small cupboard with some clothes that fit, however slightly tighter than he prefered. Then he set off through the front door, walking in the shadows but not to the point it seemed suspicious. Eventually he found the house she talked about. He paused in his tracks, the door was open. He took a deep breath and then slid in. What he saw inside was not what he was expecting. Not at all.

In the middle of the room was an old gypsy woman. She was half tilted and was holding the terrified toddlers hand, that however was not what shocked him to his core. It was the eyes of a woman. The eyes of a woman who was supposed to be dead.

Cold, yellow golden eyes.

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DUnDUnDUn….


	19. Chapter 19

Now back to da kitten... btw, this is really gooy and I'm writing this on two tired brain cells. But, at the same time, kittens, so kittens.

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"You sure he'll like him Christine?" Said meg not fully convinced the PHANTOM OF THE BLOODY OPERA would fall for the cute half mangeled kitten. But then again he fell for Christine who was essentially a human version of a cute but disturbed kitted.

She smiled knowingly and replied cooing at it " positive, now where is a vet?"

Meg sighed but led her down the street and to the left. There was a small vet owned by a family called Tolken. Christine though nervous around strangers was bolsted by the mewing kitten checked in the kitten and after a brief inspection by a frail elderly gentleman, was told that he could fix the injuries and make her presentable in about four hours. Christine smiled and the two left quickly to finish their shopping.

"What are we to do with four hours?" Christine asked.

Meg titled her head thinking then said "well, have you ever actually been out just for a day with a friend?" Christine nodded blushing. Meg grinned and said "well, my friend, it is time I introduced you to shopping, for fun…"

"No, I couldn't, not with Erik so sick.."

"Christine, please, he would want you to enjoy yourself. Come on, I know a smaller quieter one."

So after dropping off their necessary shopping at Meg's, she was dragged for three hours through various boutiques.

"oooh come here Christine, try this on" said Meg holding up a rather risque black dress when she caught Christine standing stock still, looking at the dress in front of her.

It was an older style wedding dress, it was faded blue, with beads flowing down.

"Christine?" Meg said as walked in front of her face, she noticed Christine had tears in her eyes.

"What the devil is wrong Christine?"

"That dress… It's just like the dress my mama was buried in… It's just like the wedding dress from Papa's photos…"

Meg didn't know how to respond as Christine stepped forward. "It's a sign…" she mumbled as she stroked the soft skirt of the gown. Then she looked up and rushed for the owner of the shop.

Meg didn't know what to make of her reaction, but she was satisfied as they left the shop, carrying a giant bag filled with the dress, because while Christine looked sad at first seeing it, she looked quite happy as they made their way to the vet.

After getting a carriage to Meg's and getting all of their supplies they slowly ascended to the house under the Opera. Christine held the small kitten close. The vet had tied a small pin ribbon around her neck and gave Christine a list of instructions on how to feed and care for her. She had a small bandage around her ear and tail, but otherwise looked somewhat healthy. She hopped Erik would like her.

After getting in the door she ran the dress to her old room, knowing Erik would never look there (one day she hopped to maybe use it) then walked in Erik's room.

"Please… I am gettin- Oh Christine! T-thank god" said a very relieved Erik. Madam Giry rolled her eyes, already knowing she would be fine with Meg.

"I'm sorry I took so long… But I hope this makes up for it.." She said approaching Erik.

"It's a bit different from most of it's type, but in this house, different is good." Then she carefully placed the kitten in Erik's lap. Erik was in shock as the kitten started purring and nudged herself closer to his boney hand.

"T-thank you, I've never gotten a present before…" He whispered looking so touched.

"It's pe-per-" he had to break off to cough.

She let him finish and said "I'm glad you think she is, I figure she could keep you company and understand as you both heal…" Then she leaned forward and kissed his head.

It had been a long time since she had seen him that happy.

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I hope you liked these fluffier moments, because they might *hint* they are about to be a lot less frequent… DUNDUNDUNN


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry for the delay, my father is still pretty sick and school hit me a lot at once. Now back to the story…

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"B-but you're dead" Was the first thing Naddir said, completely forgetting to attack or lunge, to astonished. Erik had told him long ago that his mother had perished and he inherited much from her. And there was no mistaking those eyes.

The woman in question was half leaning, almost sloping to the right, the higher shoulder and arm held the hand of the frightened child. The old gypsy with her crazed eyes, long distraught grey hair, sagging thin tanned body, and disjointed movements held a knife against the child's neck. She seemed to be cooing and mumbling

"Dead he says… must've heard it from my…. Son… that's ok, you got a new mommy Erik. you do. And you will pay for daddy. OH YES YOU WILL PAY" the woman screeched and started to spin and twirl with no sense. Naddir knew he had to top her so he yelled simply

"STOP" and surprisingly she did.

Then she barked "WhaT HaVEn'T you SEEn a Mother AnD HER sONNN"

"That's not you-"

"I know, but he will be… you see, when the devil left, they blames poor morriff… SAYS if you had beeen treatin him wells, he'd ought stayed, and then we wouldn't lose our money… so they took all's… and says you doesn't GOT THE BRAT NO MORE, I HAVE HIM I HATE HIM, says they told's him I is dead and he got's my stuff as compensation for ME BEING A LOONY, OH THEY CALL ME LLLOOONNYYY" She half yelled, half sung this, all while waving her head around, grey long ropy tendrils of hair flying, the toddler being swung around. Naddir gulped and was about to tackle her when she abruptly and eerily stopped. Then looked at him and said in a very monotone and even more terrifying voice

"But that's ok. I am fixing it now. I will replace Erik with new Erik, and then they will love beautiful Morriff again…I wil beautiful Morriff, not the MOTHER of that gargoyle… oh no's…. If he had not been born…John… John would be here…" To Naddir this was complete nonsense. But his mind was racing. He had to get her away from the child. Then he had an idea. She seemed to truly hate Erik. maybe if he could keep her talking he could get close enough…

"I know the first Erik… he is a monster."

"HA I knew HE would Be"

"That child…" then he got a crazy idea "Is his son. He is the key, I want him dead, and if you hand me the boy… we can use him as bait, lure him out and kill him together" The woman, who was waving back and forth, like someone who had been ung, stopped and locked her piercing eyes onto his. That's when Naddir notice her hand loosen on the knife in consideration. It was enough.

In that moment of hesitation he tackled her and pushed the child away. She screeched, laughed and cried during their tussle. Naddir felt her claw of a nail scratch his face more than once, and the knife graze his ear. By some miracle he reached up and caught the knife, and it ended p swooping down straight into her throat.

Once more the yellow insane orbs meet his own, and seemed almost grateful for releasing the soul from that asylum of a mind, and then they faded dark.

Erik's mother, finally, knew no more.

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And you thought the son was mad… Do not fear however, what she said will one day, in due course, make sense.


	21. Chapter 21

Sorry I've taken so long, but the show must go on

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Christine sat red eyed in the door frame of the bathroom staring at the cat, which was the only one that could curl up next to her coughing Erik, reflecting over the past few days.

" _Christine… You know it's time… I don't w-want to wait any longer, A-and this new medicine makes me stay up anyways..."_

" _Erik… But you're still so weak-"_

" _And not getting any better like this…"_

 _She sighed and looked at her angel, who at that moment seemed more fragile than she had seen him ever before, lightly petting his cat -whom he named Athena- and said "Fine, but we are taking a couple of days of the treatment first to not stress your body out too much"_

 _He smiled faintly before falling asleep._

That was the calmest she would see him for the next few weeks. They started the treatment, which was burning this strange incense that made him cough out the mold from his lungs. It was so painful to even watch because every two hours he would cough, usually blood included (Naddir warned her of that), for an hour straight, while Christine sat helplessly in the bathroom, because it turned out she was highly allergic to the herbs necessary. So she sat looking at Athena who was Eriks only comfort while he sat in hell and her face was red and swollen to the point she could barely see. He looked at her almost like he was apologizing while he suffered and it broke her heart. Looks were all they could share these days, that and shaky writing, because the coughing had all but destroyed his vocal chords. They hoped though that is could be healed later. Despite all of this, the pain and exhaustion, he wanted to know and tell the truth about their pasts.

After Erik was calming down and she had extinguished the herbs she came over and kissed his forehead. His face, however distorted, seemed to be apologizing for her allergies. She whispered her usual "I love you" before he drifted to sleep again completely exhausted.

They were both exhausted. She wandered over to the bathroom and started applying the cold water that came from the cold lake to try and stop the swelling like everytime. Usually it started to heal after thirty minutes, but lately it had started to take longer and after an hour it still wouldn't stop. She sighed, she knew she had to do something. She wrote a quick note and ventured up…

Knock, knock..

"Cristine what are you doing here at t- oh dear lord child what has happened?"

Christine side as she walked into the small office were Giry usually slept in production season. "Erik's new treatment, it would seem I'm allergic. I was hoping you or Meg could escort me to a doctor, I would alone, but it is rather late and it getting harder to see and more painful to touch. And could the other watch after him while I'm gone? I wouldn't be long, just long enough to get a good medication for the swelling."

Giry sighed then nodded and within half an hour Meg was walking with her through the cold French streets. For a late cold early April night, there were any carriages on the streets. Meg noticed Christine was distracted, not even glancing at them as she passed like she normally did. "Frank for your thoughts?"

"It's just… What if he does die Meg? I don't know if I could hand that" said the red faced woman crossing her arms sadly.

"Hey now, don't lose hope. I know he's been not in the best shape-"

"Best shape, ha" Christine laughed bitterly "Meg, this is the worst he's ever been in his life, which if you haven't noticed by his scars, pts episodes, and general observance, is quite an accomplishment. But no, that is not what I am particularly worried about. I have seen him through so much trial and error to know he can handle his current status… It's just.."

"Just what?" asked Meg with a concerned look on her face.

"Just what if Nadir doesn't come back, and because of that Erik dies…"

"He'll be back. He's escaped trickier situations before…" Megs voice trailed off to the ears of someone in a parked carriage.

The man smiled into the darkness bringing his hands together and whispered "Don't put too much faith into your Persian friend, little Giry…"

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TENTION NOT DIFFUSED. Sorry for the long delay and short chapter. More is to be published soon :)


	22. Chapter 22

Now let us see what Darius is up to…

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Another manhole was not far from where they were, but with the added weight of his sobbing niece it could have been a mile. His whole body wrecked as his muscles strained to keep her from the contaminated water.

After what seemed like ages he managed to carry her to the surface. They were far out of town but near by Naddir saw a warehouse or a train station. After a brief scan of the area, he helped his battered niece to her feet saying "We need out of these clothes and, well, sheets. I hope you understand…" He said awkwardly. She nodded and with his help was once again exposed to the world.

Her wounds looked worse in the sunlight.

She turned her head blushing as her uncle did the same, remembering to grab the vile as he did so. Then he picked her up once more and ran to the small apparently abandoned buildings.

He found a dark shack for old oil cans and lay her on a pile of old rags. Then, after checking the cost went off to find someone he could 'borrow' clothes from.

After night had fallen an hour later he returned in a worker's uniform and told her " I heard- before I borrowed these- there is a train heading to Sweden in half an hour, it is stopping for gas, enough time for us to crawl into a crate. Now try to put these on" he whispered to her quickly giving her an identical uniform. She did so, though she looked ill from her ordeals and could barely stand to move…

Half an hour later found Darius closing a lid to a crate he laid her in and hoping in another near by, just in time for the inspector to stroll by and shut the door, with a bored look on his face.

Darius held his breath and did not release it until the train picked up speed. He sighed in relief and got both of them out of their containers. His niece was already fast asleep, exhausted from their ordeal, as was he. He knew from eavesdropping that the train would not stop until it reached Sweden, so after propping his niece on a barrel of random assorted furs and covering her so she would not freeze he too fell quickly into blissful unconsciousness…

He awoke the next day to his coughing niece. She looked so ill but there was nothing he could do but hold her hand and talk to her.

She smiled at his touch and said in a hoarse voice "I'm sorry, for all of this.."

"It's ok, but can I ask, why? Why didn't you tell me? You know I would have helped.."

"I didn't want to lose you too… You were the only one who would even write to me…"

He looked at her sadly and remembered what she looked like last time he saw her. She was still very young, healthy, and could always find the goodness in people. So very different from the woman next to him now. "Asal… What happened, why did my sister in-law abandon you?" He said said with lose, written all throughout his tenor voice. She was the only part of his brother left to him, after he had died as a guard when she was very little. After that she became extremely close to him so it hurt him even more to see her in such a mess.

She looked away bitterly and said with a harsh bitter tone "I was a fool… An old fool. You see, I fell in love with this boy just down the street, he was nice and sweet… We were going to be married and soon after the engagement I found out I was… Expecting. He was thrilled, and wanted to rush the wedding a bit so no one would catch on… Well you see, he… he always had a good heart but was not the best with money. So in an effort to get the money for the baby, and the wedding he started doing small, under the table jobs… T-then" her voice quavered for the first time in telling him this, but she quickly fixed it with a hardened voice "Then two weeks after he found out about the pregnancy he was stabbed to death on the job. He was guarding a small gambling ring when someone got too desperate to get the cash flowing on the table." She took a steady breath and continued dryly "I was desperate and depressed. I told mother I was expecting and what had happened and well… You know how traditional she is. She disowned me on the spot and I was left to the streets. I had the baby behind an old alley where I had been digging through trash to survive. I had decided at that point to throw the child away, or leave it on a door mat, rather than let it starve and wither away like its mother. But when I looked into his eyes… I made a vow that day, that I would do whatever it took to keep him safe. H-he is the only bit of his father I have left, and I love my son, like I have never loved anything else in this world." she said with tears in her eyes, and then she looked at Darius whose eyes were also glazed over with emotion. "You know" she said smiling a little "I named him after you… Darius Arman, after you and his father… I would have told you but the thought of losing you, as well as mother and papa and Arman, I just couldn't. Anyways, one day, a week after his birth I was finally able to get a job at the palace… as one of the Prince's 'personal servants'. It was hard abusive work, as you saw, but I did it for him.. My little boy. It was enough to keep us fed and clothed. I would do anything for him… Darius?"

"Y-yes my child?"

"Will you leave me? Now that you know…"

He blinked profusely and swallowed back the tears that were aching to fall free. He was shocked she would even think of such a thing. "As I've said once before Asal, I promise on my brothers grave that I would never do such a thing. You won't have to worry anymore, I'll be sure of that. You can live with me and Naddir, and he will see us soon with the young one. Now rest Asal, it's ok now. I promise."

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Well that had some feels


	23. Chapter 23

Now for the chapter we have all been waiting for… (These next few chapters are long and will contain a lot of trigger stuff, just warning ya.)

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It has been two days since Christine received medicine for her allergies. The cream helped prevent swelling and decreased it when the incense was done burning. Erik was happy that she could now be near him again, but that was perhaps his only joy. The constant coughing had increased the swelling in his ribs and made it impossible for him to talk. In fact he could only take shallow breaths. But despite this, he had been begging through scribbled notes for Christine to allow them to start sharing their stories. She was reluctant, he was so so weak, but he as he pointed out, it was starting to stress him out even more to have all of these memories bottled up knowing they would soon come bursting out, like a dam breaking and flooding the entirety of a town. That coupled with how stressed he felt about not knowing what dark memories kept her up at night he was able to make his argument valid. So that found Christine laying down as soon as the incense cleared, next to Erik. With the new treatment he could stay up longer now, long as it was administered on schedule. He had stopped taking his 'sewer water' medication as he called it. So she looked at him and asked "I don't know what would make this whole ordeal easier for you, if I start, or if you do. Which would you like?" He paused for a minute then pointed at himself, but wrote 'Take Turns, I start'

"Ok, would you like to chose where to start or for me to ask?" He pointed at me, so I sighed and tried to think of a not too taxing, but still mysterious part of his life. "How come you and Naddir are such close friends? I have always wondered about that."

He sighed and tried to sit up more to write. Seeing him struggle she helped prop him up.

'Sorry if this is hard to read, my hands are rather shaky' He sat and thought of where to start 'Well, as I may have mentioned I worked for the Sultan in Persia at one point. As an architect. What all I really did is a separate story, but, the sultan asked for me to be found and executed simply because I had outlived my usefulness. I had half expected this so I had even built a small escape route, but I did not get to go that way, for I found out about it hiding up in the rafters and made my escape by breaking through a window instead. When I was outside I ran, ran faster than I ever had. It's funny, for even while I was running I asked why? Why did I want to live all of a sudden… Perhaps I had more to give or see? I did not know then, but I know now.

Anyways I ran far out into the desert. I eventually settled into a cave. That night is when I heard a few hunting dogs and saw a lantern. I had nowhere to run, and that is when Naddir found me. Half propped against a wall, thoroughly exhausted. We were too far from the palace for him to drag me there to be publically executed, but we were close to where he lived on the outskirts. So he helped my tired and at the time, teenage self, to his house. It was odd, because while he did shackle me, I could tell he pitied poor unhappy Erik. I suppose so many years on the force had hardened his eyes so he was never frightened of my face. When we got to the house, I heard coughing coming from a side room. My curiosity was peaked. So I asked him who was in the living room, and he told me it was his son, who was very,very ill. So I explained to him I have medical training and would not mind offering my services. Back then, and even now I suppose, any chance to show off a skill is something I am rather fond of.

He told me doctors had tried and failed to help and supposed I could not do any harm, especially if he watched over my practices. At first he agreed to not turn me in for a few day to see what I could do. Then a week. Then a month. Then several. He was growing optimistic for his son, who was no more than five, simply because I had prolonged his life much longer than any other physician. I worked day and night to try and save him, but his illness was just too severe…'

He paused trying to take a breath before talking about the next part. Of course this only resulted in a fit of coughing, but it was enough to distract him long enough for him to detach himself again to continue 'One day I realized he was about to take a very bad downward spiral to the ground, and would not, could not rise from it again. So I regrettably, told Naddir this and I gave him a choice. Let your son die a slow, long, agonizing death, or I could give him some peace now. That night was one of the darker nights of my life, because throughout my stay there we had grown considerably friendly. I actually cared for his feelings, which I had seldom done in my life. His choice was made and after a very somber and tearful goodbye, I ended the boys suffering. Naddir told me after the burial that he was forever indebted to me for giving his son some peace and hoped that he was with his mother, happy for the first time in many years.

Soon after two predicaments came to our knowledge. I was still wanted, and Naddir wanted to leave Persia but knew quitting the force would mean death. But helping a fugitive out would only result in exile. So he and Darius took me back and snuck me from my prison in a coffin. In fact it was the very one you saw me trying to die in on your first day back. When we arrived in Paris, and his exile was complete, he said knowing my, 'odd' behavior that he would keep an eye on me, but wished for distance, for every time he saw me, I think I reminded him of his son. We said our farewells, and you know what happens after that' He read over it once, thoroughly exhausted, then handed it to Christine watching her reactions. He was intrigued to see surprise flash across her face, then not as surprised when sadness made her eyebrows furrow.

"Oh Erik… I had no idea, that was very noble of you" His eyebrow area flew up in surprise. Never before had he been associated with 'noble'. He almost smiled despite his constant pain. He loved it when she praised him. It meant he was doing right. "I think that's enough for the next few shifts." she said breaking him from his thoughts "After this next treatment in a few minutes, I want you to rest some. Then I'll let you choose who is to talk next." He nodded weakly, already dreading the next treatment. In those hours he always tried to distract himself, to take himself out of the coughing, already dead looking corpse that was his body. This time was no different as he spent an hour pondering if he wanted to discuss his past or hers, because while he thought he would hate discussing the past, he found it actually did comfort him, like her not hating him for his past, was almost like she was healing his old scars… But at the same time, the constant question that drove him mad was, what happened to her?"

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Cliff hanger, btw next chapter I'm going to break this perspective pattern a bit, just fyi


	24. Chapter 24

Erik shall explain his choices… HUGE TRIGGER WARNING, LIKE SOME SERIOUS PAINFUL THINGS DISCUSSED, (I.E. rape, beatings, torture) PLEASE BE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM IT EXPLAINS WHY THERE ARE TRIGGERS. Please do not be angered, I warned you this one is rough.

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Three sessions later found Christine by his side once more. She was waiting on an answer as Erik wrote ' _I think I shall go again my love… I don't want you to beg me for forgiveness of any kind, which you said you would, though I really do now why. No, I want you to know the entirety of your poor, unhappy Erik before you do such a thing. Anyways, I have done a lot of thinking, and I think now is the time to start from my… origins. I only ask that you be patient and try to understand my actions. While it would certainly be understandable if you abandoned me after this, all I ask is that… Before you decide on that, that you realize this was many many years ago and I have changed Christine, you have changed me. And also to consider all of my life first before you go… I only hope you stay… I love you'_ He finished with trembling hands. She read it and sigh sadly "oh Erik…" Then she leaned over and hugged him. "I could never leave you, never…"

He smiled a little and said in a hoarse pain whisper "I hope th-hats true" Then his eyes went wide as the pain from speaking overtook him. It took ten minutes for him to calm down enough to begin writing.

' _I suppose I shall start at the beginning. I would not be telling you this but I can't die being the only one to know all of my story, and I hope I don't but, I must tell you this, now. It has been a burden to carry for far far too long. I was born to a band of gypsys. My mother, who was once perhaps the most beautiful of them all, had been ostracized from the group for being pregnant with an 'outsider's baby' She once told me laughing that 'my father took one look at my ugly demonic head, and ran off, leaving her to deal with the garbage. By this point I was three and she had begun to truly look haggard. Growing up was difficult._

 _But before I get into that I want to make this very clear Christine. For most of my life my moral compass has been very skewed. What I am going to next explain will show you why, but know that what I considered good was not rescuing others or helping others with no benefit to your own, but I was taught good meant praised. When I was praised it meant I was being a good Erik, I wasn't in pain. And when I was in pain I was being bad…'_ He stopped to let his hand rest and to summon the courage to finally write down the things he had tried so hard to bury. Christine looked at him with apprehension. He looked so ill and.. Scared?

He took the biggest breath he could without hurting himself. ' _Growing up we lived on the outskirts of camp. The others simply ignored me at first but then they realized that I could help them. They asked me, if I wanted to be a freak for others to see, to mesmerize them while they pickpocketed the on lookers. I was delighted because for once I was getting attention from someone. My mother never did that._

 _All she would ever do is until that point come back to our tent or her house during the winter -the gypsies stayed there for warmth for the nights are extremely cold in Persia's winter- and yell at me, kick me around and blame me for her losing her looks and being ignored by her own family. So an opportunity to finally do something, anything and not be straight up beaten for it seemed like a blessing. Quickly they began to see my intelligence, my musicality, and started incorporating it into the show. That's when they realized I could also become a traveling doctor as I seemed to absorb information quickly._

 _For the first time I was being good a Erik. I did not care if others laughed at my face, long as my 'family' was happy with their gold. I grew infatuated with praise. I hungered for more. They knew that I think. They knew I would be willing to… Oh god, try anything'_

Erik had to stop and look away. So many memories were coming back all at once. He tried his hardest to calm his feeble heart. Christine sensed he needed help and grabbed his hand. This seemed to calm him. Athena nudged his arm as if saying it was ok as well. He almost smiled at the small kittens touch. He looked back to the paper and began to write about the beginning of his true miseries.

 _One night, when I was about six or seven, the head of our caravan asked me if I would be willing to do something for them. It would be painful he warned, but it would bring them more money. Oh Christine if I had only realized then that he did not care, no one cared really about me, they only cared about the money I gave them… But I was young and naive. He said that after the shows he'd 'rent' me for a price for a few hours, and in that time I would do whatever they pleased'_ At this point Erik was crying. He was trying so hard to get it all out quickly. He coughed and hacked but kept going, almost in a trance. Christine was starting to get really worried.

' _I agreed and was the next night subjected to the worst side of humanity. It was then I learnt how cruel people can be. E-Erik was at first only beaten. Then they got more and more creative every night. First they removed his- I - My shirt. And started to punch, then kick, then wip. God, they they started using fire and any other means of harm, to try and beat the 'devil's child'. It was there that I learned to tie the magic lasso as For a week solid a man came every night to Erik just to strangle him to near death with it. He memorized in the tree I was tied to how to do it._

 _Then it got worse, when some sick bitch, decided she wanted to test the waters and go lower. Soon I was hoisted nude to a pole… G-God Christine…'_ He had to stop, he was sobbing so hard now, every time his eyes closed he saw the camp fire and that bitches cruel smile.

Christine who had not yet read was getting terrified as she tried to calm him down. Then finally he did. "Erik, I think we shoul-"

He grabbed her wrist weakly as she reached for the note. Then whispered hoarsely, not giving a damn about the pain any longer "Need, finish"

She looked at him and saw the most desperate plea in his eyes. She knew he must get all of this out, now. She nodded solemnly. He looked back at the paper and continued

' _She started with a branding iron, beating me with it everywhere. The only reason I have any… Parts today is because the 'guard' in charge of keeping me alive decided that wound would kill me, or get infected and kill me. Oh how I wished someone would kill me. Now of course I have you, but back then… Anyways, she kept beating me, screaming I was the son satan. She did figure out the next night she could heat chains and wrap them around me. Christine, I have been through many many incidence of pain, and nothing will ever compare to that. G-god her laughter still haunts Erik to this day. Erik scared, scared what is if she'_ He started blinking fast half expecting these old demons to burst through. It was Athena who sensed he was having issue and mewed softly. This broke him out of his flashback as he continued to write.

' _Then, things got worse… A man that week decided that beatings weren't enough for the spawn of satan. He… Christine, I-I am not… God I Don't know how to fucking say this. He raped your Erik… Many did… God Christine I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry'_

Erik could help it as he threw off the small note pad he'd been writing in and curled on his side shaking and bawling. This caused his body to convulse and soon vomit had begun too. Christine's eyes were wide as she rushed to care for him. His eyes were wide and bouncing around the room.

"ERIK! ERIK, CALM DOWN, ERIK HONEY!" But he couldn't hear her. Finally his body couldn't take it. He fainted. Christine checked and found he was still breathing. She sighed in relief. What on Earth did he say. She wanted to know but knew it'd be wrong to read it while he was unable to give them to her. They were his memories to give, not take. So she stayed by his side singing. Finally he awoke. He blinked blearily and winced at the pain his whole body was in. She was relieved because he had to stick to schedule and it was almost time. She felt like a monster for wanting him to wake but it could kill him if he even skipped once."Hey honey" She whispered softly, trying to help him up. " I hate to do this first thing but we have to do a treatment" He nodded still in a daze. Then his memory snapped into place. He grabbed her wrist and motioned for the pad. She shook her head saying more firmly than ever before "No Erik. You need to do this first and rest some. You nearly died on me, you need rest." When he didn't move she, ignoring the notepad on the floor, went to grab a small one from the kitchen. When she gave it to him he scrawled quickly ' _No rest till I tell you, nightmares. Do treatment then finish. Not much longer'_ She sighed but nodded. Nightmares she understood. He nodded then did his treatment. Compared to the ordeal he just went through, this was almost tame. When he finished he hungrily grabbed the pad. He needed her to understand before he fell asleep.

' _At the time Erik could handle all of that. He knew not what was truly happening to him. For when they finished their sessions Erik got all sorts of praise. But the one that sent him over the edge, made him run away that night, he could not be thanked and praised for happened for what happened. Erik was only eleven. He came home, patched up from nicer gypsies who felt bad for Erik. All I wanted was rest for tomorrow's travels. I didn't even stop for the piano, my one solace. I loaded it onto the wagon every trip to have it. I was almost changed into my night clothes when my mother came in. She was more drunk than Erik will ever see her again. She laughed at me and ripped off my mask. For a strange exhausted second Erik thought she'd finally give him a kiss on the forehead. Something she swore she'd never do. Instead she began to beat me more fiercely than ever before. Erik had broken ribs and shoulder from that night and she ripped off his bandages and pounded into the already broken bones. Then Erik did a bad thing. He showed weakness and puked from the pain. That is when she laughed her high cackle and said "Fuck IT, FUCK YOU! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS STATE THIS HOVEL, THIS UNBEAUTIFUL BODY. IT'S YOUR FUCKING FATHER'S FAULT, THE BASTARD. OHHH, BUT YOU'RE JUST LIKE HIM. OH BUT THIS UGLY HAG IS GOING TO MAKE YOU UGLIER, NOT JUST IN BODY, BUT SOUL as well" Then she took a cruel knife and cut deep into Erik's leg, then his broken shoulder, his hands, chest. Then she… She… t-touched me t-too' my last safety of home was tainted with... GOD NO, NO, N-'_ Erik howled with more pain than Christine had ever heard come from a living creature. He was paralyzed, practically vibrating, staring with wide, terrified eyes at his past memories. He stayed like that for an hour. Christine was so worried. Nothing could break him out of it. Even Athena was trying to get to him by pawing every place she could reach, meowing loudly. Eventually Christine, from fear and exhaustion broke down and started to weep. It was her own strangled sobs that woke him. He ignored all his pains and memories for her. He reached and took her hand. She was startled and looked up. Then caught a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank god you're ok… Erik, you need rest." But to her disbelief he shook his head and with still shaking hands, gave her his childhood. "You want me to read this first?" He nodded. Whatever would help him. He motioned lightly for her to lay next to him. She complied nervously. If it could get that reaction out of Erik, how would she react?"

She took a deep breath and began to read. Within five minutes she was sobbing, and in ten she was holding on to Erik, crying enough for them both. God how could she have been so cruel to someone who had been through so much? She really was a monster. No wonder he was a bit off. God how could people FUCKING DO THIS. She took another breath and growled with the utmost hatred that even Erik and Athena were scared of her "If I ever find any of those people, God will not be even capable of the wrath I will wreak upon their very souls. Never again Erik, will you experience, ANY of that. I swear on my very soul, you will never be in pain like that again." Erik started to cry again. Not from fear but from disbelief that someone would actually do that for read those letters and not be repulsed by his tainted soul. Never before had Erik loved her so deeply and for the first time in his life, he felt safe. Safe in her arms. He sobbed weakly again and curled up to her. She took that opportunity to cuddle him closer. To give him the love he deserved. He only hoped she would feel that way still after he explained the sultana. He was scared she'd then run. But maybe she wouldn't. Though he knew he was not in a state to begin that tale, so he quickly fell asleep, and surprisingly, with the knowledge of her love and protection, he was able to have a dreamless sleep.

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So that was emotional. I want to say this, I am not torturing him because I want to, I am doing it so you can understand why he acts in certain ways. Why he acts child like at times, because he never had a childhood. Why he shows off- because admiration would have been his only reward. Why he speaks in his disjointed manner sometimes and others he is a smooth gentleman- because he wears an emotional mask as well. Why he acted so obsessive over Christine and was so crazy to have her as his living wife- because with her he could hide and be safe and if he had that he would have love, something he never got, and not being taught how to socially do it he does it his own unique way. If he was so bound on her why would he let her free- Because he knew what it was like to be imprisoned. Even if it took him a while to realize it. Also it explains why murder for a long time for him was ok, because he was rewarded somehow, like a guard dog getting treats for attacking trespassers. His back story is painful because pain is the only way you could get someone who is like I felt that he should have a reason for being how he is, because come on there has gotta be you know? And I figure abuse like this would cause enough trauma to make him how he is now, and makes Christine all the more important. In more ways than you know as of now, perhaps you'll find out in three or so chapters, why she could be more important than even he knows. Like I said this has a lot of triggering things, so I am sorry if anything was brought up, that was not my intention. And yes this story gets even darker and more perverse so if this was a lot for you, I'd suggest skimming the next few chapters. Though, this next chapter is in Persia so it won't be nearly as bad as the to after it. So, I'll see you in Persia.


	25. Chapter 25

I'm back, now lets see our dear Naddir

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Naddir looked back at the child as they walked through the desert. It was sunset and Naddir was trying to find some form of shelter and food, as the nights did get extremely cold. The boy had not said a word since the ordeal. He never fought following him nor did whine. Naddir supposed he was in shock. The older Persian sighed. It was hard for him, to be around children. They always reminded him of what could have been… He shook his head and traveled on. That was many years ago and it would help neither his wife nor son to grieve them further. When the sun set the boy pointed out in the distance, where some strange lights were flickering far from town.

Naddir picked him up and went to the edge of a rock formation, slowly edging around it to investigate. It was the band of gypsies that presumably the old woman trailed behind. This was good in a way, for Naddir knew this particular band knew how to stay very clear of the law, having lasted for generations.

He quickly tucked him and the child into a small cave above the group. It would protect them from the cold, plus provide food in a day or two. It was here he decided to rest for tonight.

He turned to the tiny toddler and said in the most soothing voice he could muster "Now child, your mother wishes me to take you to my home in Paris, to live with her. To get there we have to go a very special way, and part of it is we can not speak above a whisper or be seen by the people below. It is the most important thing, ok?" He hoped to god the child understood that, and to his luck the boy nodded and walked close to where Naddir was watching the proceedings below.

"C-can I sleep with you mister? M-mommy always let me when I was scared…" He whispered.

Naddir smiled and nodded "Of course child, you have been through a lot haven't you. I'm sorry you had to see that…"

"It's ok, Mommy says sometimes people have to do what they must to protect the ones they love. Even if it's beating up bad guys" Naddir smiled. Thankfully it seemed the child did not understand what had really happened.

"You're a very brave young man you know"

"Just like-He yawned- Papa…" And wrapped up in Nadirs arms the boy fell asleep. Naddir glanced once more then looked at the moon.

"I'm sorry my son, my wife, that I could not protect you… Every second of everyday, I wish I could have…" with a sigh he looked down at the gypsies.

Erik came to mind. He was his friend, and in a way very much like a child himself. 'God I hope Christine can give him back a little of his sanity that they stole' He glared at the gypsies. Erik had shown him his scars a few times, every time it was always a shock to Naddir. He had once told him it was from living with the gypsies. Naddir could not even imagine the kind of torture a person would have to go through to get those scars.

The people far down below seemed to dance to the rhythm of his hate for them. Of course that was unfair of him, the ones who did that to Erik were probably near dead by now. Gypsies never lived very long from what he could tell. He turned over, tomorrow, he would hatch a plan. Because he would die trying to save Erik, he deserved happiness. And Naddir would always be trying to repay the unpayable debt.

The next morning Naddir woke with the sunrise. The camp looked still dead asleep, they usually did sleep in the day. The child was blinking slowly as if trying to fall back asleep.

Naddir started to think. 'OK, what we need is a bag, food, clothes, and a blanket. Then we need to be sure to leave within three days to hopefully catch up to Darius in time. Next we need to figure out the best way home. So how to solve this…

Food we can steal tomorrow morning after a day of observing their schedule, we can also steal a bag and a blanket probably if I map out the camp correctly. We are near a small water reserve, we passed it on the way here…

For traveling we could steal one of the horses and ride like mad. Perhaps act as if we were a good distance away and then come back to see what trail they go on. After that we can go the reverse way and loop to avoid them, hopefully leading us to a train station or distant town…'

It would be hard, but possible.

All day Naddir observed them, seeing the best routes of where to steal without being caught. As soon as he got the entire plan down to a decent T it was night. Time to wait for them to fall asleep. His senses were more alive than normal. He would strike right before dawn. He couldn't help but think Erik would have been proud.

The child slept mostly, which was good because they had a long journey ahead.

That was one of the longest nights of both of their lives. Finally the sky began to lighten, and nothing was stirring, so he woke the child and carefully climbed down the small rock formation.

"Now wait right here, I'll bring the horse around." He nodded and Naddir set off. First he nabbed a bag from what seemed to be a storage tent. Then some salted meats hanging on a rack near by. Some blankets from a rale and had almost made it to the horse before a deep booming voice came from behind.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A thief trying to steal from the masters of thievery… Well I hope you know what we do to outsiders here" Naddir turned around slowly, his heart falling to his stomach.

There was a very big richly clothed man smiling right behind him, with a very wicked grin and a magical lasso in his hands.

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*CUE MORE DRAMATIC MUSIC*


	26. Chapter 26

Now we see the darkest side of Erik's past

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Christine made him wait three days, three long miserable days where he agonized over what he would tell her, before he was allowed to explain his history. He'd been dreading this part and yet wanted to do it as soon as possible to get it over with. He was scared. He never liked to admit when he was to himself, but he was. He was scared she would leave him once she knew. Finally she sat once more next to him, with his pen and notepad in hand.

He was sure the stress was worsening the shakes in his feeble hands as he held the pen above the paper. She looked at him apprehensively. She was just as nervous as him, though for different reasons. What if he goes into shock again?

They looked at eachother, as if to say, 'that is a risk we must take.'

Then he began to write ' _Before I begin Christine I want to remind you of a very important thing I discussed last time. What I have for most of my life perceived as good is far different from what you would view as good in a moral sense. Good to me as I had learnt so far in this retelling is not being beaten and being praised. So anyone who did not hate me was someone I thought good. And if that someone praised me, I thought I was doing the right thing. It is no excuse for the crimes I am about to discuss and I know now, after meeting you and Naddir, that it was wrong. Unspeakably wrong. After today I understand if you want to kill me. After today I think you'll understand why I endangered everyone but you at the opera house, because the pain I was in then seemed to trigger these memories, these concepts taught to me by my warped morality as I will discuss. This is how I became a monster._

He paused as if to prepare himself then continued _After leaving home, I found myself working as a small architect. I drew a few plans for free to gain a reputation then gained enough popularity from my work to start really making money. I was only 14 when my biggest customer came to me. He would also be the demise of any good I ever had._

 _It was the Sultan, who wanted me to construct secret passages throughout his palace to spy on people. I was known for building these for my clients and had become so skilled at it that if you did not know EXACTLY where it was, you'd never find it._

 _Of course I was pleased. Erik was getting praise and to work and amaze the sultan, why, that would be the best reward of all. Erik would become the best person. When I got there, plans started out well enough. The first thing I set out to do was to construct a dummy so he could appear to be in multiple places at once._

 _That's when Erik met, HER. He was working on the dummy and was about to get up when the sultana was standing in the doorway. Oh she was gorgeous, an evil vixen. Of course, no where near as beautiful as Christine. She walked over and looking back Erik could tell she was seducing me, flirting to get her evil done. She was a succubus I am sure._

 _She walked over and asked if Erik would construct a small side project…_

 _Her excuse was there was a terrorist they needed information from, and he would not budge. She said Erik would be a great help if he could build something to get it out of him. And of course Erik did. She was thrilled. Soon, more interrogations were 'needed' and Erik was only happy to comply._

 _It is here my love, that you will hate me. One day I decided to sneak down and check on her. And what Erik saw was her laughing with what seemed to be all the joy in the world. What she was laughing at was a line of people, being led to Erik's inventions and chambers. Looking back Erik now knows he is a monster because of this moment. For instead of caring, instead of being appalled, he… He laughed with her… All he could think was she was happy because of him. And Erik thought… Oh Erik thought he was doing good! Oh Christine, there is not enough in hell to punish Erik for that, and what Erik did next. He actually went and made her even more. Each one more devious and painful than the last. Erik does not know how many he killed. He felt justified, before her no one ever cared or helped him. They hated him. And the Sultana was happy, so Erik was. Oh god Christine I-'_

But at this moment it was too much. All of his self hate he had tried for years to compensate and burry came rising up in one painful gust. He wanted to kill the beast that he was. He threw the pad and in a fit of insanity attempted to stab his throat with his pen. If Christine had not been there in time to catch his hand before the incision could go deeper and had he been any stronger, he would have died right there.

But as it were he did start bleeding profusely from the hole he managed to carve in his damaged skin. He kept screaming. He did not know he was screaming. All he could hear were the screams of the men, women, and children he helped behead, strangle, cut open, tear apart, burn alive, and other various methods of murder.

Christine was terrified. She held down his thrashing body with one hand, and tried to get rags off the table with the other. This was the worst episode of pts she had ever seen him have. Finally she managed to cover his wound and he was losing energy, feebly tossing and turning. She had to act quickly. She ran to the closet and grabbed belts and suspenders and fastened him tightly as she could to the frame of the bed. By now he was barely awake. She ran to grab poper bandages and sewing supply. She needed to stitch up his neck as fast as she could. Then wrapped it tightly.

He was sobbing and trying to say something but couldn't from his throat. He began gesturing to the pad and now bloody pen. Had he not been so admit, Christine would not let him, but she knew in that moment he needed to. So she careful placed the pen in his thin hands and placed the pad under it so he could write.

 _Let me die. I do not deserve to live any longer. The pain I have wreaked is too much._

Then with an insane look in his eye he gestured for Christine to read. He bowed his head silently as she read his guilt. She gasped out loud as she read his crimes. She needed to sit or she would faint. How could he? How could anyone… But then she remembered three crucial facts. One: He truly at the time did not know it was wrong. It would be like telling a lion it is wrong for killing a zebra.

Two: While he did build them, he was under the command of the Sultana, who was the one who actually wanted them to die. Erik was only happy because she was, not because they were dying. He seemed to not care, because he did not know it was wrong.

Three:Had he not too been tortured? Had he not been burned, beaten, stabbed, cut into , torn apart at the very seem to the point he was made into a monster?

She was silent, contemplating. Had he not realized it was wrong? Had he become more than the monster the world made him into? That was a feet most she was sure could not do? Even now he wished to die because of his new morality. He was a different man she concluded. At the time he was fourteen, brainwashed, under intense trauma, and was literally being taught by the one who really was the monster.

She stood up from her chair and walked over to the man who seemed dead already. He was coughing again but barely moved with each cough. She touched his hand lightly. He looked up in surprise.

"You're not a monster. Not anymore. While I do not agree with your past obviously, I do know you were literally a different person then. You were not the monster you described when you took me under your wing. You are not that monster now. I could not blame you, you really had no clue of what you were doing. It's like being d-drugged. And then being told to do t-things you would never do n-normally.." She trailed off. And shook her head, another time. "Tell me this Erik. Would you torture someone now for fun? Enjoy their death without any provocation?"

He shook his head. "Now I know some died because of you at the opera, but I need to know. Please be honest, were you slipping into a past… mindframe, driven mad by m-me, when you caused those deaths? Or because they tried to come to your house and attack you? Or did you want them to die simply because they were their?"

He held up one finger. "So because of reasons besides they were there and you were scared, and did not want to be scared again?" He nodded.

"I think… I can live with that. I will have to make sure you never have to slip into that past mindframe again, Erik?"

He looked in her direction. Eyes still firmly looking down "Promise me, you will not hurt another person, unless I say so. I do not care how angry you are, if you agree, and stay true then I can stay because I know the monster will never return. And when I say hurt, I mean yourself as well."

He paused. This was a big promise of him to make. Of course he never wanted to hurt others but he was scared of losing control and giving in to the monster that ravaged all he loved. He wanted so bad to just kill the thing, to kill himself, to rid the world of the beast. But it was his Christine. The one person he would do anything for. So slowly he then a thought occured and he quickly gestured to the pad

 _What if you've been kidnapped, or we have intruders? What if I can't reach you to know?_

"Intruders I want you to capture, not kill, then we will decide what is safest. If something happens and you are not sure, kill only in self defense. Not when you think you are in danger, but when you know you are and can see the attack about to happen. Otherwise just incapacitate them some how. Oh and, if you want or need to bully the managers, only non lethal pranks. No permanent damage is to be done. Ok?"

He nodded. "Now can I take off the restraints without you trying to hurt yourself again?" He agreed once more. And so she did. His arms flopped to his side and his head rolled with them. She had never seen a man more destroyed than in that moment. She lifted his head and carefully adjusted him into a more comfortable position. He looked at her hands, wheezing. His breaths were so weak as of late. He patted her hand and grabbed the notepad again.

"Erik… please"

He tried shaking his head and wrote in the worst hand-writing yet

 _You should know, sometime after, the sultan ordered to have me killed because he was finished with my services and you know the rest. I came here and built the Opera house. And for those deaths after that... Pangi died in self defense. I was trying to get to you and just knock him out, but things got ugly. And Boquet deserved it. The night before he drugged two of the ballet rats and well… The timing of when I wanted to kill him and needing a body to hang happened at the same time. Phillipe was trying to swim to my home to kill me, and I usually steal the person sitting under the chandeliers ticket just in case, but the managers by passed me and it just happened to be the very night I planned to finally drop it. I had that saved when I built the place, as a final warning. They are all dead because of me, but I thought you should know I did not really set out to kill them. I have not done that since Persia, as I made a promise to Naddir. Nothing I can do will ever repay their lives, well maybe Bouquet, but I understood now what I did not then. I just needed you to know._

"Thank you, I appreciate that bit of peace at least." He still looked so… dead. She knew this had triggered his depression. Normally it seemed that he would vent that depression through anger but as he had no will or energy anymore, he was trapped there, in the voyd. She wanted so badly to give him peace.

She put down the pad and crawled into bed next to him. He looked at her with vacant eyes. As if searching. She pulled him onto her bosom. So he was elevated more so and so she could protectively put her head on his and hold him close. Then she began to sing. She knew now he needed rest and music always seemed to have a way of curing his soul. And slowly she felt his hand grab hers and squeezes it as if to say 'thank you, thank you for staying, I love you'

She smiled. Hopefully he could learn to cope with this again. She sighed, for she knew tomorrow would be her turn. The only positive thing to come of it was she knew her pain tomorrow would snap Erik out of it and give him purpose. It always did when it involved her well being. She kissed his forehead.

Maybe, just maybe one day, they both could heal from this.

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So that was intense and hard to deal with. But I want to make ultra clear, how Erik was really really messed up. If you have ever seen Sweeney Todd and how the Judge and make him into the villain you can kind of get an idea. Only add in practical brian washing and never being taught murder is bad and basically having or the Sultana teaching you what is good and what not. Then add in torture. And ptsd. Then learning after that that is not good behavior or morality. Kind of like what happened to hitler youth after ww2. They were sent off to correction camps to basically be unbrainwashed. And some even became Nazi hunters and many tried to help with refugees after. So think Sweeney Todd being raised by /Loving her, plus insane amounts of torture on both Sweeney and others, then Having a correctional camp. (Ei. Erik raised with messed up morals, then Sultana-lovett- then having Christine and Naddir (correction camps) teach him his whole life is a lie and that he was a monster. Plus like I said, a lot of ptsd)

So yeah. That is why Erik will switch from one minute being a gentleman then the next being the little bag of life and death, then snapping out of that mindset, and letting her go.

Next Chapter it is Christines turn...


	27. Chapter 27

Here we go

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Christine had more on her mind than she ever had before. How was she to tell her lover who was on the brink of death, what happened. To say the least she was scared of exhausting his body to the point of death. Whether that be from him fighting her to get up and avenge her or from the pure shock was up to fate. She was so tired and nervous infact she did not have enough mental room to be very nervous about how it would affect herself.

Erik of course picked up on all of this and more than ever did he feel trapped inside this carcase. So many times he fantisized about holding her close, singing to her, with her. Hell even walking with her seemed a daydream that would remain forever like that. A dream. He was so close to happiness, to peace and love, only to be struck down last second once again.

He deserved it he knew, but it did not change in the slightest the frustration in his head. He felt he was going madder by the second, oh how even screaming in frustration would help him vent this rage and depression, yet he could do none of it. He, the once feared phantom of the opera, could barely move while he watched his Christine suffer night after night, day after day over his condition. He sometimes saw, when he woke before her, how plagued by burden she really was, for her eyebrows were always furrowed now and her lips consistently forming into a grim line, over her usual relaxed smile that to him meant all was right.

Things obviously weren't. This upset Erik greatly.

She laid next to him gently hours later. He looked at her with pleading, fearful eyes. The eyes of a child who knows they're about to hear their favourite pet has died.

"W-well first I want to say this Erik. No matter how badly you may want to get up, fight it, stay here… I need you." He nodded and so she began.

"It all started when I left. Oh how I have deeply regretted that moment. So many things I regret, but I will talk about those later. At first, r-he, brought me to my adoptive mother Madame Valérius. She comforted me of course, helped me cope through, everything. Within a week I can guiltily admit I was ready to start planning for the wedding" She paused as Erik winced. Her eyes began to water from guilt but she forced that away. 'Just like acting.'

His family tried to constantly distance themselves from us. They clearly thought I was below their dignity but Raoul would persist there was nothing to fear… how very wrong he was." She paused, trying to not think too far ahead into what she was about to discuss

"Then slowly he began to go out for drinks more with his father and cousin. I should have noticed something was weird but I was too caught up in my own world. Infact Mama recognized something was odd before me, but only briefly mentioned it to me. I chose to ignore the bad of my l- person of interest. And focus on the bad and blame the world on my love." She stopped to stroke his cheek with apologetic eyes.

"Three weeks since that night Raoul surprised me. He offered to take me to a small restaurant that was known only to those with the money to know. After eating some I began to feel ill. I asked to go home and he eagerly obliged. He had been nervous all weekend but I just guessed it was nerves about the upcoming ceremony" Her pulse began to raise as well as her words. Erik was becoming alarmed. Something was not right.

"H-he took me inside and I fellasleepatonce" She began to blink rapidly as she speed through trying to speak before her memories could catch up. "I woke upto the sound ofscreaming andran to the Kitchen. Vision blury and swooshing. Saw-saw- M-mama on the floor with a slit across her throat." She stopped talking. She was hyperventilating.

Erik had no clue what to do. He began to fear she was going to pass out so he ignored every muscle in his body to whisper "CHr-Christine. It's me. L-Look at m-me.." He spluttered

His body tried to cough but in his fear he repressed it. She turned her head towards him again. Something about seeing him next to her calmed her down enough to continue. 'Just keep looking into his eyes and not anything else your mind is trying to process.'

"I to see three people above her. Raoul, His cousin, and his father. He said something like 'I'm so sorry' but I can't remember. Then he… God Erik. Ok if you can talk about it I can" She said more to herself. She had to be strong. Had to be.

"His father laughed and said something like guess that didn't work. You know what- he said this slured as if hed been drunk- since you like this broad so much why not have a little fun before we dump her fine ass on the streets' I stood in shock as the cousin w-wrestled me to the ground and-" and in that moment she burst into tears.

Eriks body went rigid. Yes he had a good idea of what this cousin did.

Rage like he had never felt before coursed through him. How DARE someone touch his angel, his very reason for existing! Hadn't life already done that enough to him but to touch her as well. The only thing that kept him from jumping up and killing, no not just killing, completely destroying this cousin was the sound of Christine trying to say something else through her tears, the tears that monster-

"T-t-t-hen when he w-w-as done.. And I lay helpless on the floor h-his dad said! Oh god, he told Raoul to as well!" Her tears were flowing with even more vigor than before and Erik could barely understand the next part "A-as he was, I kept staring into HER eyes- I-I can't forget those horrible eyes! D-dead. And then, My instincts kicked in. I-I saw a vase on a table next to-to where we were and I knocked it over. Those MONSTERS WERE TOO DRUNK TO CARE!" She shouted in her pain and anger.

"So I grabbed a piece of the shattered pot and stabbed him, in his face, repeatedly. Oh HOW I WISHED I HAD KILLED HIM" She proclaimed. Now with anger as well as pain filling her soul. How dare he touch me! One day I WILL FINISH WHAT I STARTED! That she promised herself right then. It was this anger that gave her the strength to continue.

"F-finally he stopped and they fled. I don't know how long I laid on that floor, but some time later I picked myself up and ran to Giry. I knew she was nice and would help… Oh god Erik!" With the last part of that night over any strength she might've had left her and she curled into a ball sobbing. So many memories and emotions were filling her tiny body. She wished she were someone else. Not in this tainted body of hers.

Erik was not moving, or rather he was vibrating with every cell in his body coming alit with anger. No this was not anger, it was a hate filled insanity too intense for him to even comprehend it. He was so charged his body almost wanted to laugh as well as storm off and find the three. Then he would put them through torture that made what he did in persia look like a trip to a spa. Erik and he wanted to tear every fiber of their being from the other then slowly burn them all in a never ending pain. The kind that you can never get used to.

The kind that makes you grow deranged. That makes death the only escape, and to have that escape ripped from you, just as they ripped poor Christine's virginity from her, just as they ripped her own feelings of security, identity from her. Erik knew that feeling too well, and would never, ever have wanted Christine to experience that. But she had.

This acceptance of the fact his very soul was hurt in such a way made him snap out of it enough to move closer to her. He needed to speak. He closed his eyes to anticipate the pain and said as gently as he could (which still sounded like a cat being burnt alive) "Christine… Is it alright if E-(no he needed to be strong) I hold you? I-I don't want to…" Make you relive those horrifying moment even more vividly he added mentally.

She nodded slightly. She wanted that safe feeling in his arms. He complied eagerly. It was at least something he could do. He was of course hardly able to breath from coughing and wheezing, and was scared of getting blood from coughing on her, but it couldn't be helped.

Oh how Erik wished he could hold her right, kiss her forehead… Rip their souls from their bodies. But all he could do was lightly drape his body around her. He could not even whisper words of comfort! All he could do is stand and watch again as his life crashed down around his ears. He wanted to help her. Do something for her. He glanced at the clock. She was slowly falling asleep from exhaustion he knew. Her sobs become slowly replaced by fitful heavy breathing.

It was time for his next treatment. So as carefully as he could without waking her, he moved over to his bedside table where the incense was, just incase she overslept again. He had to pause before he moved to light it. His whole body seemed to be made of pain. His throat felt decimated, his ribs he knew were broken from the amount of coughing he had, his very core was sore, his limbs felt so limp from mall use that sometimes he was scared we could never walk or play the organ again. But he took one glance at Christine and light the flame. He needed to try and stay though. For her, because he'd be damned if he let her go through this alone.

So he closed his eyes as pain over consumed him and the herbs brought bit after bit of bacteria infused flime. Still he tried to be quiet. He knew while she did not want rest with those thoughts in her head, she needed it. Sleep was how the mind tries to accept things. Hence why when well he usually did not sleep much, for it was usually too much to even try to handle.

Even as he coughed he noticed she did seem to sleep slightly better at ease the closer he was to her. So of course he got as close as possible without waking her. He noticed her face swelling and nearly smacked his head, she needed medicine too.

He looked around panicked. Then saw it on a dresser, across the room. He looked back at her. Should he get it or wake her? Could he get it? He watched her whimper in her sleep. Yes he could get it. She could heal with rest. Of course he reasoned with himself, part of this was because he felt so helpless, he knew he needed to do something. It was driving him to this breaking point here.

He wanted to take a deep breath but knew better not to, especially while already almost continuously coughing. So he slowly lifted his back to try and lean over the side of the bed. Even that movement sent him coughing even harder and made him feel like he'd just run the entire length of the opera house. After a minute of failing to calm his body he put one hand on his bed and the other on his nightstand. He was even weaker than the time he ran to Christine on their first week. His whole body vibrated and his stomach was turning.

In response he just grit his teeth. He had to do it. So slowly he lifted himself onto his emaciated legs. Almost at once they tried to buckle, but by sheer will he kept standing. The world was turning fuzzy and black around the edges. He was delirious from illness. He kept staring at the bottle of cream.

One foot forward. He gripped along the edges of the bed. He was still standing, though he knew that wouldn't last long. Another obstacle was on the horizon, getting his left hand to the wall to balance long enough to grab the dresser.

1,2,3. His hand lept and he stumbled slightly. Success, he managed to get to the wall. /this was so much harder than any balancing act he'd ever performed with the gypsies. Inch by inch he made it to the cream. By now his legs were shaking as if standing on an eruption. He had the bottle and was turning to face the bed again when he tripped on pillow that had fallen to the floor. Then the world went black.

It was Athena who woke Christine some minutes later. The at had known something was very wrong. She clawed lightly at Christine's face until she opened her eyes. That's when she noticed Erik was not there. She shot straight up terrified, that''s when she almost tripped over a crumpled leg on the floor.

There he was laying on the floor, his legs splayed, knocked out. Thankfully it seemed the bed caught his head on the way down for he was propped against it, rather than flat on the floor in blood. Had it not been for the extremely loud wheezing she'd thought he died. As it was it did sound ever more strangled. She worried he'd suffocate. So as quickly as she could she laid him back on the bed. That's when she noticed something clenched in his fist. It was her medicine. Then she noticed the smoke from the recently extinguished incense. 'He must've noticed it was time when I passed out and did it himself, then realized I needed medication a-and instead of wa-waking me he' She nearly broke down again. This man whom she'd hurt so much was trying to take care of himself because I fell asleep. She really didn't deserve him.

He moaned slightly. He must be in pain. He looked as sick as the first day she'd returned. "Shhhhh. It's ok now. I'll make sure of it" She looked at him, at his thin painful skin. "I'll make sure of it. No one will ever hurt you again Erik" Not even me. She knew it was getting too much for her to handle alone and would make sure to talk to Giry today, but now she needed to make sure he would be ok. Even in this state he had tried to help her, because he felt she needed it. Well no more.

"Letting life take away my power, myself, making me helpless only causes pain, I've learnt that many times now. But for now on, I will never be truly powerless again. If I had not been so weak a year ago none of this would have happened. But now I will pick up the pieces and protect this new life with all I've got. Never again will someone take away something I hold dear and get away with it. Never, this I swear" She looked at the ceiling as she spoke, as if almost challenging fate, and swearing on her soul.

"As do I" Erik breathed, cracking open an eye. Christine gasped then sighed in relief.

He was awake, they'd be ok.

They'd be ok.

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Well that's the feels. And a huge character growth were Christine makes a promise or two that will change her life forever. (Foorreeeesshhaadooww)And I just want to say, people actually can be THIS sick and live. My dad was just like this a few months ago and even sitting up to drink was an ordeal. He even was coughing like Erik in this, although he is not a musical genius like Erik so the whole you're throats messed up thing didn't really bother him as much. And walking was literally just like this for him. Infact he did pass out twice, near the end of it and is now struggling with the concussions from the falls. Thankfully I have spared Erik a concussion as well, because at this point it'd kill one of them. Thank you all by the way for your comments and for staying this long. Next chapter hint hint, the mysterious villain will arise.


	28. Chapter 28

Here he is

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The man laughed again in the eerie silence of the decaying mansion. The few servants who could not escape tried avoiding the room the laughter came from at all cost. If they did not know exactly who it was in there they would certainly believe it to be an apparition. Even without the knowledge of the the appearance of the chamber the common laughter, screams and crashes were off putting enough; for the laughter would range from high and cruel, to low and menacing; the screams would sometimes sound like the highest soprano, or darkest and cruelest of demons; and the crashes would be anywhere from small high cracking of glass bottles shattering across the wooden floors, to the sound of the deep low cracking that comes from within solid oak doors when something too strong is applies, as if a demon was trying to bust down the door.

Another howl of purest joy whipped through the cold night air floating through the open window.

The man took another swig from his second bottle of the night, staring at the portrait,

It had been a nice portrait not too long ago. Finally painted, with figures that were once lifelike to their human counter parts, but now of course this was not true. That was not the only change in the history of the portrait. Just like the people it portrayed, its life too, had diminished drastically. Its once fine wooden frame was chipped and in some spots charred. Past the charing burn marks and smoke damage also perforated the young figures. Pieces of canvas were ripped from their home and it was slashed several times across the taller male's face.

It was at one time an early wedding present from the smaller portrayed woman's fiance.

The man then slurred "You know C-Christiinneee, you bish! He woulda lived if you hadn't runned back off you whoooree. But now He wont! Ah He won't and this is great! Great because as YOu HAve ruINED my LIFE, I will destroy yours. Look what you did!" As he said this he flung from his chair towards the womans portrait and got up close to it, pointing at his scarred, and now deformed face. "SEE! YOU TURNED ME INTO A MONSTER! JJJJJUUSST LIKE YOU'RE GARGOYL OF A LOVER AND LEFT ME! AFTER YOU My family, my family disowned me! Took half my staff, Because you made me into this CIRCUS FREAK!"

He paused and then started another cruel maniacal laugh, a laughter that only comes before a truly malevolent deed "And to think I was trying to savvee you! I tried to keep you silent and hidden from my father, so he wouldn't kill you, but noooo, you had to come poking out. I may have once loved you, but not anymore, no. NOW I HATE YOU! And JUST as you've taken my life, . …"

He then muttered almost conversationally "But yes.. The PErsian will have a VERY nasty shock indeed when he returns home, and I promise he WON'T make it to your beast in time."

Then he turned to the other wall in the filthy destroyed room. There was a small mirror, or rather what was once a mirror but now was a practical pile of broken shards. He looked carefully in the dim light at his own reflection. He cocked his head to the right so the light hit his horrid scars. Bits of his cheek were missing to the point they were holes to his mouth, teeth could be seen in a back gouge. His eye was swollen and cut a fresh. He paused at the ghastly sight, then began to scream again in furry, grabbing another shard and slicing his abused face, as if trying in vain to slice open a new beautiful face, like the one he once knew.

When the sharp unforgiving glass made contact on his flesh he pronounced

^" _You have made a monster of me, So a monster I shall BE!_

 _Christine…"^_

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So that was terrifying. If you couldn't guess Raoul has gone off his rocker. Fyi if you see this ^ fgyfityfutyf^ for now on that shows they are singing, because I mean, this IS a bit of Broadway's longest running musical and deserves at least a bit of singing, though it won't be much and will usually make sense when it happens, like here, him proclaiming he is going to wreak more havoc in a musical genius and his soprano life, kinda makes since to sing, hell if anyone was that messed up they probably would too. Also no, I am not justifying Raoul, I hate him tbh. I'm just saying if this happened and he was kinda deformed his father would probably ditch him and after losing Christine (his own damn fault plus kinda made him into a monster there just saying) and then his entire family and half his fortune he'd probably lose it and blame the easiest thing for him to blame. Aka Christine.


	29. Chapter 29

The phantomess is pleased with reviews and comments, now let us see how the hell Naddir will get out of this one

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"Well, well, what do we have here? A theif, stealing from even bigger thieves." The man who toward over the small persain leaned down "Do you know what we do to thieves who are stupid enough to get caught around here?" Naddir shook his head slowly unable to move. "Well, lets just say you're gonna find out…" He quickly ensnared the terrified man.

"Well my dears, it seems we have a guest" he called out to the camp who were now just starting to crawl out of there tents. When a few of them realized what was happening they started to cackle. A few kids crawled out of their tents and eagerly pulled on their mothers dress hems. Naddir could not believe he had been caught. He was in shock.

"Now my dear family" he said stopping them both, "with the current low stock of food raging through our fine establishment I think we have found a perfect solution. Tonight my lovely's we feast!" The collective ansemble began to howl in joy. Now Naddir understood why Erik was the way he was, having grown up with these people.

Naddir was soon hosted onto a poll while they prepared for tonight's feast, where he would be boiled alive in the stew. Of course was trying to fight his binding but to no avail. He had failed his friend, the man he owed an unpayable debt, and his best friend, no brother, as he would not be able to reunite the mother and son. Oh how did he always fail the ones he loved in the end? His wife, who died giving birth to his son, his bad genetics that killed his only child, Erik who would soon die in his lover's arms, and yet another child left to perish in the persian sand beneath his wake.

He looked to the sky, with it's blinding, all seeing sun "I'm sorry my little Zinnia, I have failed you all…" Then he heard a shuffle behind the curtain of the tent post he was mounted on, and the young boy who he had left in the cave pulled on his pant leg.

Naddir looked down in surprise as the child silently handed him a sharp piece of broken pottery (probably found in the unguarded storage area) and slipped away. Naddir was astonished at the boys intelligence and bravery, to know he needed to be quiet and that he needed to escape.

After carefully looking around he cut through the rope and dropped down. Most were in their tents hiding and blocking out as much of the heat as possible. He quickly made his way to the horse tied to a mount when he heard a young man yell his alarm.

Naddir turned around punched him right in the eye, as two others ran behind him and were trying to restrain him. That is when he saw the boy standing next to a stack of heavy metal pots used for cooking. They made eye contact and the moy grabed a spoon that had been left on the floor and naddir quickly backed in the group into the kitchen with all his strength and the boy carefully tripped them with the spoon and made them land right into the stack of pots. Naddir grabbed the boy and made for the horse.

He slammed the both of them on when the chief came running right for them. Naddir, who had quite plainly had enough for one day readied his foot and right when it seemed they were going to collide he kicked out and with the momentum of the large man suddenly changing and the fact Naddir was mounted on a horse keeping him stationary, sent him back and then Naddir kicked off, making sure to have the horse kick him in the face once, before riding off faster than they had ever gone, into the desert sand.

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So Naddir had had enough of that shit, and if you are thinking man, this is a way too smart toddler, just, for a moment picture erik as a toddler, you know, the genious, and talented mastermind of practically every skill -except hand writing- and then the the boy doesn't seem all that unrealistic. Next we will see how our other travelers are fairing


	30. Chapter 30

So, thank you for all your awesome reviews and support. Also, any other languages I use I get from the internet and really have no clue if they are right. If you can speak one of these languages - and I know some of you can- please tell me if the translations are correct. If they are not I plan to update and fix small things like that in the final draft when I have finished the story. I really enjoy incorporating small cultural things like the correct language - or mentions of the correct language they are using, I feel it makes it a bit more realistic I suppose, and would be happy to fix any mistakes. And now here is Darius and Asal…

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When they arrived in Sweden they were both starving and Asal was extremely ill. To say the least, he was worried. When the train stopped he grabbed her and ran out into the freezing wind as fast as he could. After hiding in the nearby forest searching for life. After ten minutes of freezing in the snow he caught sight of a small village near by. So he carefully snuck around the bac of the houses until he found an inn, then slipped carefully through the door and out of sight of the street, which snow covered lanes were turning gold in the setting sun.

He leaned her against the wall "do not move, I'll be right back" he whispered in her ear. She nodded weakly.

He quickly stole over to the inn keeper. She was a tan woman with long black hair, rather odd for a small town swedish community. "Hello, madam. Wait you can speak French or am I not making sense?"

"Jag talar inte ditt språk." She said apologetically. Darius paused thinking. Then he took a gamble and asked "الان منو درک میکنی؟" (Can you understand me now?)

She smiled and replied "yes actually." He sighed in relief.

"Good, We need a room. A, uh private room. You see that woman over there? The one against the wall?" He said gesturing to the barely standing Asal. She nodded. "That is my niece. I just rescued her from my drunkard of a sister- her mother- and she is in really bad shape, and quite ill. I am worried that her, or some officials employed by her, will come looking… So I need a discreet place, for her to heal, and maybe some help taking care of her as well. I will pay you handsomely, and I know it is a lot for a stranger to ask, but we are rather desperate… If you do not want us, we will go, and I will-"

"That's not necessary, I understand and would be happy to do it. We are slow this time of year, and well, I'm not a slow going person" She giggled. "I'm Ebba, the owner of this fine little hovel. Do you have luggage or were you too much in a rush…"

He smiled grateful for her help "I'm afraid not. I was planning after food and sleep to go to the village, and get us supplies. We are only here long enough for her to recover for us to got to France, there we are to meet and stay with my mother, she is very ill you see, and wants to see her as soon as possible. I was actually coming to get her for that purpose when I found her like… Well…"

"Well, let us not waste time then. Let us go get you both settled then me and you can discuss things later. I don't have much going on at the moment. Most wont go this far with the snow still coming in from Spring."She said sweetly as she approached the half dozing, paling girl. "Hi there, I am Ebba. I am here with your uncle to help take care of you. He mentioned you were sick, do you want our help to get to the room?" The girl in response nodded trembling. Her world was spinning and she collapsed in the hands of the stranger. "Oh dear you are ill sweetheart. Ok right this way" she said leading them to a door in the back that led down to the cellar "I have a couple of rooms down here for extremely cold winters, because the upper rooms can get rather frigid in the snow. It is close enough to where I can easily care for you and no one will find it odd, me constantly visiting a room. Now, dear, let me have a look, maybe I can help fix whatever has happened to you poor dear."

The girl, half asleep from exhaustion nodded slightly for consent. Whatever would allow her to sleep faster. So the owner carefully undressed her, to better examine the wounds. She did not gasp, but Darius did. He hadn't had the chance to check on her properly. She looked like how he'd always imagined Erik after a gypsy session. He of course was told with Nadir a bit of what happened to him, after Darius had accidentally walked in on him changing once. Her body was covered with new and old whip lashings and general abuse. It seemed to mainly be on her back, but was in other places as well. Some of the freshest were oozing with infected pus. No wonder she was so ill.

The woman stared for one long moment. Analyzing where it was worse and giving a full inspection. Then she said calmly "All right dearie, just lay nice and flat on your stomach, we will get you fixed up." After she did and fell immediately to sleep, the woman turned to Darius with a hurried expression on her face. "Take that bucket over there and go out and get snow, then put it in that dark cold corner over there. Hurry" Then she bustled out of the room, quickly running up stairs to behind the counter where she kept extra linens, and her sewing kit that she kept under the counter. She quickly, with the skill of a well trained seamstress made bandages and rags out of out of the covers, Her well trained mind was focused on her soul task of taking care of this new patient.

She nearly ran over Darius as she bustled in. He went straight to his niece's bedside. She grabbed a spare bucket and after placing the bandages on the nightstand next to her, asked "Darius, will you take this rag and soak it in the cold snow over there?" He did so quickly and turned around to see she was already at work, as small, slightly wrinkled hands, skillfully pushed the wounds open and got some of the top ooze off of them. She looked around, she needed a tube, or something in order to help drain the puss. That's when she spotted a squirter in the corner of the basement, water squirters that she had used back when she had calfs to take care of. She instructed him to go get it, tirelessly pushing on the raw, smelling flesh. She was glad the girl was so exhausted she was asleep. She could only imagine the pain this would cause. Once the instrument was in her had she took a knife from her sewing kit, the one she used to cut string quickly, and made small delicate cuts were there seemed to be puss pockets. Once those were open she placed the nozzle of the squirter, and began to suck out the puss. The squirter, which she had made herself fashioned after a needle, but with a round hole at the end rather than sharp metal, did as it was told and removed the white deadly infection from her body. It had been handy for forcing stubborn sick calves to drink when they needed to, and was handy now.

After half an hour she was satisfied with her work, so she then asked Nadir to go grab some whiskey from behind the bar. He returned exhausted as ever, but eager to see his niece begin to heal. She took it and poured it all over the open wounds that seem to litter the young girls back with their red, evil, slashes. In sleep she moaned and stirred for a moment, before passing out again in her feverish haze. Once she had soaked up the remaining alcohol, She began to sew up every slash with tight perfect stitches. Then she took the whiskey once again and coated the back once more in its purifying liquids. She took a breath and asked for the snow rags that Nadir had with him. They were still ice cold and he had been using some to wipe her forehead and keep it cool best he could in her position. She took the rags and carefully lined them alongside the now closed wounds, to help numb the pain, but not suffocate the small openings of air left between the thread, as to let the wound breath and not harvest more puss.

"Ok, just one more thing. Hand me that bottle over there, the empty one. Yes thank you." Then she carefully punctured into a vein in the girl's arm and let blood seep into the small bottle. Darius wanted to object but, after watching the middle age woman perform, knew to keep quiet. When it was full, she turned her arm over and wrapped tightly a strip of cloth around the opening.

"Bloodletting." She answered his unspoken question "My husband used to do it to his patients if they have not had blood loss, it can help relieve any bad blood, and while it didn't seem to help all patients, It did seem to help speed up recovery of infected patients. And while it might make her slightly more ill for the next two days, the new blood she will form will be even healthier and can help fight off the illness faster." She sighed and laid back in the chair she had pulled close. "Hey hand me that unused bottle of whiskey will you? I always need a sip after things like this"

So he did, still looking at her in amazement. There was a lot more to this woman than meets the eye. "Why aren't you a nurse? How did you know how to do that? And how do you know Persian?"

She laughed at his awed stare. "Here have some" She said giving him the bottle. "Well, that is a long story. Here come with me. I need to fix you both some food, I'll tell you how then."

So they both proceeded to the back upstairs. "Lucky for you I only have two guests right now, both on honeymoon and completely absorbed with each other on the top floor. Why you'd come to this small town and ask for the colder room upstairs is beyond me. In fact when I asked them, his wife, pretty little thing, answered giggling 'Oh, we come from London and wanted a break from the hustle and bustle. Thought this tiny town was perfect, and I do want a good view, besides... I got him to keep me warm at night don't I?' Well, I still thought they were crazy, but let them go ahead anyways. Supposed to check out next week and I only see them at super really. They're in their own world. Sigh" She shook her head as she continued to chop up more vegetables and meat for a stew "Lucky for you, supper was an hour ago and they are already back up in their own world." She giggled and then blinked.

"Oh dear, I got off track didn't I? I am so bad about that.."

"No No, it is fine. Life has been rather hectic lately, it is nice to hear of something normal for once" He said with the lightest expression she'd seen on him yet.

"For you I suppose it has been. Now what was your question? Oh yeah, How do I know Persian" She said smiling fondly as she started to dumb the assorted vegetables and meats into the boiling water. Then she sat down in her well worn chair and began to cut off any bad parts of her potatoes for tomorrow's roast.

"Well, that would be my father. You see once upon a time, he came through her, selling spices from persia. He was trying to make enough to never have to go back, because if he did he'd be forced to marry this woman who, according to him 'drove him absolutely luney' and so he was trying to travel and sell as far away from Persia as possible. Well as it so happened, in one of our coldest winters, the train had to stop for a few days because the ice storm was so bad. So he came to this inn, which my grandfather owned at the time. Helping him was his daughter, my mother, who according to him fell in love with her the moment he laid eyes on her. Of course grandfather did not like it very much at first. Some foreign man coming in, hardly a penny to his name, sweeping his daughter off her feet. But he could not deny they loved each other. Well, soon they were married and not long after had me, their only child. At three grandfather passed away and then ten winters ago, they followed at an old, happy age. Leaving me the owner.

Well anyways, growing up people always fascinated me, I wanted to meet and know as many people as possible. So my father taught me all of the languages he knew so I could do just that. And it has come in handy many times. Which I think leads me to your other questions" She said grinning nostalgically. "When I was about 19 a doctor, named Альберт (Albert) Пода (Poda) came to the inn. As I mentioned before I quite like people and hate boredom. So I figured traveling and nursing with this doctor would fit just that criteria. I had to practically beg him to take me on, but he agreed. To say my heart secretly stopped when I met him was an understatement. Father of course did not like my plan one bit. So I got to thinking…"

She giggled at the old memory "What if he proposed? Then father COULDN'T say no. At this point I had befriended Albert and we were in fact close, but at the time he was not in the mood for loving anyone because you see" She leaned in and looked around, almost as if she were in habit of doing so before she divulged this next sentence "well, he has passed so I suppose I can tell you… He was just getting over losing another lover. A MALE do not get me wrong, he told me once he fancied both so it wasn't like I married him without hope of him returning his affection. But even if he did only love men, I still wouldn't trade him for the world. He was my best friend. People like that never bothered me, don't know why it bothers others to be honest. A man will still bleed when you stab him, a woman will still die of infection, regardless if they are homosexuals or not. But anyways back to the story" She said leaning back.

The more she talked the more Darius liked this woman. She seemed extremely open minded. He supposed it was because of her exposure to all sorts of cultures coming to the inn all of her life, and her multicultural parents.

"Anyways, so after a few weeks more I convinced him, saying that we would never go through with the engagement if he didn't want to, but just that he would so we could leave in peace. Well it worked, and for several years we travelled the world, as fiance's, helping the ill. It was there my love of languages and cultures expanded greatly. Funnily enough though, until I met you today, I had yet to encounter someone who speaks French. We mostly went to Northern Europe or Asia. Well, after a few years, and after he was over Charles, the englishman who before me, stole his heart and then proceeded to die from pneumonia, he slowly fell in love with me, and he started to actually court me. Even had a redo proposal and all. Well at that point we wanted to settle down, actually get married. So we returned home, had a lovely ceremony, and we both took over the inn. He passed on from a bad carriage crash. Killed him instantly, there's his portrait on that wall there." Darius looked behind him to see a tall, muscular pale white man with blue eyes and huge beard, dressed in a doctors outfit. To say the least he was intimidating.. "I still say that it was better than slowly wasting away from disease…" Darius winced. Yes he saw the love of his life watch their only child do just that, and couldn't do a thing to help. His mind drifted to Erik, poor miserable Erik, life truly did hate him.

"Now, Darius, why are you really here. I've studied people for years now and I know a lie when I see one. Helps catching scam artist selling bad produce to the inn too funnily enough, but how did she end up in such a state?"

He blinked, frozen. What should he say? How much could he divulge? She was a stranger. A nice, open minded stranger, but a stranger. Then again, knowing of a homosexual, and harbouring them, was, unfortunately, illegal at present, yet she admitted to it without much hesitation. Some, he could say some. "Well, alright. I can only tell you so much though. There are lives at stake and a lot of it must remain in darkness. But I can say this. At home, a friend, a very close friend is dying. Which is quite sad too, because he just got the love of his life too, and he has had a really, really bad hard life. And is suffering greatly right now. His illness has a cure, and I won't say what or where it is, that needs to remain hidden, but me and my friend traveled to the place and got it. We discovered my niece like that. I won't say how or where though. She had something she needed and so, me and my friend split up, taking half and half of the cure with us and agreed to race back as soon as possible. And now we are here. That is why we need to leave in as soon as possible to make it to our destination on time. That way we can save him, for both of their sakes."

She stood to tend to the stew "Well, that sounds like you have quite the story yourself, and much more to it as well. Here I know what will help. You say your friend needs you quickly? What country?"

Darius paused then said slowly "France"

"Perfect, she won't be able to ride a train as fast as she can a coach, not as loud and a more controllable environment. You can take my fastest steeds and get her there in two or three days if you use the fairies. I can probably have her well enough in three to four days, depending on her fever. Although, you will have to let her rest a lot once she is there."

"Mam, this is too much… Why are you being so kind to a complete stranger?"

"Well, without some help and kindness in the world, I would never have been born, or been able to see and do the things I have done. And it sounds like you lot could use some, regardless of the source. Now why don't you go in there with the poor girl. I'll be right behind with food, and then I'll drag another bed closer so you can care for her. Go on, I daresay you need a rest, and maybe a bit more gin and whiskey." she said shooing away the stunned and exhausted man. He smiled. She really was a genuinely nice woman.

Once he got in there he could see her still sound asleep. She would be starving in the morning. He sighed and went to sit next to her. In sleep, she looked years younger, like the Asa he remembered, the one who would yell ' uncle dar dar' and run to latch onto his legs. Things had certainly been different back then. Simpler, easier. Little did he know then that their futures would all turn so dark, so desperate and painful. But, he supposed, that's what getting older was. Learning and having those dark and painful moments, learning from them. For what cause he was not sure. All he really knew was many people's hopes and lives hung in the balance, and his speed could tip it either way.

His thoughts were interrupted with the arrival of Abba. She sat and talked a while more. Some might of found her rambles slightly annoying, but he found them charming. She had many stories to tell, and an amazing memory to boot. Sure she was a bit of a gossip, and jokingly would critique her own inn to the point of absurdity at times but he needed a good laugh and things about others lives to distract him about now, and she provided just that. Once he was finished, she dragged a bed closer, tidied up Asal, and was half tempted to tuck in Darius. She never had children, and while she had never been fond of babies, or rather never had the patience for them, She did adore children. She smiled at the two before snuffing out the light. She was hopeful, for this Darius. And was compelled to do what she could to help them.

It felt like it did back when She was her Albert's nurse, and that night in bed, it felt almost like he was there next to her her big, Russian teddy bear. She smiled fondly at the surprisingly gentle giants memory and said, as she did every night since he agreed to their long journey together "Good night Alby, I love you, See you when I close my eyes until the sun rise" and fell asleep.

The next few days she had begun to form a strong bond with Asal. She would tell her all sorts of funny little stories about her boy. 'Saffy' She would say as his nickname, after saffron, which apparently was a honey like sweet, which fit him perfectly. In return she would share all sorts of funny happenings at the inn as she changed her bandages and cooled her down from her slowly dropping fever. "It is so nice to know someone who speaks my language, I was afraid of not knowing anyone on our ride here. And turns out the nicest woman I have ever met speaks it"

"I should say the same to you, ever since Papa died, I haven't had anyone to keep my Persian up to date. Which is a shame, I do quite enjoy it, feels extremely comfortable to speak, you know?" She nodded smiling.

"I'll be sad to see you go you know. Won't have anyone to talk to."

"Don't be silly Abba, I plan to write you. I'd be crazy not to. When I get home and rested I'll tell you all about France. Darius says he thinks he might know of a job I can get and it would allow me to care for Saffy while I worked. That'd be nice. Oh I do hope Nadir has him ok.."

"Nadir? So that's the friends name, oh don't look so scared, I won't breathe a word. Besides I don't have nothing much to say. Guy comes in with abused girl, on his way to save his friend in France, they are Persian, and The friend's name is Nadir, one of the more common names in Persia, why I had a distant cousin named that. He occasionally writes. About twenty and hasn't got a lick of sense…" She trailed off to tell about some of his quite highlarious attempts to woo any woman his way. Coincidentally, he can't keep em for more than five minutes before he forgets how to behave.

A day later Darius was hugging the woman as he was about to get in the carriage. "Thank you so much. We are all in your debt." then he whispered "left a little extra on the counter for helping us." She pulled away and smacked his chest playfully.

"I told you not to."

"Well, sometimes rules are to be broken for the sake of others." Then he hopped up to the drivers spot.

"Now you'll remember every four hours to stop and take off the bandages to let it breath, and next week to remove the stitches"

He grinned fondly at her "Yes Yes mama Abba" Something he'd taken to calling her, as that is what she was to them in all honesty.

She then turned her attention to the window, which was still open "you be good, and get rest. I want you all well when little Saffy comes to visit"

"Will do, and we will write when we are settled back at France, and" She pulled her hand close to her heart "I thank you, for my, my boys, my uncles, our friends and family, for taking us in. thank you" She said teary eyed.

"Oh stop, you're getting me choked up" She said giggling through the emotion swelling in her eye. "Alright, it is getting light, and don't forget to write. I'm holding you to that."

As the carriage started to move she called out waving "As they say in France, Bon Voyage" The girl saw and waved back, before slipping back down on the seat, where they made a makeshift bed, and drifting off to sleep, to simpler, happier times.

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Well that was a cute chapter of a good side of humanity (sorry it was really long if you aren't into lengthy chapters). Kinda shows everyone has a story, that is more wonderfully colourful and complex than most would think.

Also side note, bloodletting was a common practice in this time period to remove the bad blood or spirits, and while they did not necessarily do this safely most of the time and it ending up hurting more than helping, it has been proven however that donating blood in the healthy schedule they suggest, can force the body to create fresh white and red blood cells, and while the blood letting is obviously not really a thing anymore, since we have other things to help infection, in this time if it were correctly done to an infected person who had not experienced blood loss and was not experiencing too high of a fever, it could possibly help them recover faster after the day after where the body is trying harder to create more blood. I am no doctor or expert, but I thought I would throw in this historical medical process for funsies and a touch more of realism.

Next we have the love birds.


	31. Chapter 31

Here comes a big one

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Erik was fading fast. They both knew it. He only had four more days before giving him the cure would be useless. And with no word from Darius or Nadir, Christine's initial fear was growing into outright terrified. It did not help that Erik, ever since his fall, had been doing even worse. His coughs, were growing fainter, which Christine discovered was far more terrible than when he was animatedly coughing up his lungs. His breaths, which before this happened, were strong and controlled, the mark of the greatest musician who ever lived, were now the faintest she'd ever heard them.

He was growing tired of holding on. She knew it.

He knew it.

He of course was just as, if not more scared than her. He finally, finally, found and got the one person who could drive away any darkness, which seemed to absorb his life, and then of course, life once again was making it harder than ever for Erik to find peace and happiness. Of course, he knew he deserved it, but could not help being human and wishing to stay, to be happy, for the first time in his life.

Of course when occasionally he would tell her that he did deserve it she's always say 'You were only a tool over an event that you could not really help. And besides… While it was horrible what happened, and I would never have wished it did happen, I have two things to say. Regardless of your involvement she would have found someone else for the same purpose. And second, in a way, I think for the longest time, you envied even those victims, because while their end was horrible I think you knew they had brief moments of happiness in their lives. You never did. And sometimes I think that is worse than any physical torture that man could ever construct. A life without happiness. And now you found it, and I intend to stay…' She always looked away to hide the fear he knew to be in her eyes 'until the very end.'

Erik could feel his heart slowing every beat. His heart, such a vital and inconvenient thing. Always fighting against his will. He could not feel hunger anymore, and knew his food portions that he consumed, which weren't large to begin with, were growing smaller. His whole life was ending, as he could feel each moment draining his life. His body, aches with the soreness of exhaustion. The exhaustion of holding on.

Christine saw this, and her heart broke with each gap between breathes, each feeble cough. One night, while she thought Erik slept, she prayed. She prayed to god, her father, to anyone who'd listen, to save him. She'd say 'God, please no… Please don't take him away and leave me alone again… I know, I did him wrong… I know that, lord you have taught me that. But please hear me. Please save him. This poor man, he has never really known love, always fighting the world, and he has tried, good or bad he has TRIED. Many would have given up by now, you know that. You've seen it. So please, heal him, help him… hold on… Amen'

Erik who sometimes whitnest it, was of course skeptical, but he never voiced this because he knew it helped Christine. He had tried praying many times, and no one ever answered. But he looked at her, her sweet soft face… Well… Maybe someone did once… So half asleep from the medicine, he reached for Christine's hand, which was always ready and near by and thought- as he could not speak- 'I don't know, to the point of doubt, if anyone is there… I know, it is rich me coming to you for help, when I have forsaken you on many, MANY, occasions, and I know I don't really deserve praying or asking.. But she does. She deserves happiness, and for whatever, messed up reason, she thinks I can give her that. I hope so. But I kind of need to live for that to work. So please, just, help… Amen, or whatever you, or you guys approve of.' He fell asleep right after and did not hear any choirs or see bright lights of power through his closed eyelids.

'Well it was worth a shot.'

On the third day when Erik woke, he knew this was it, his will, which was stronger than any others, was fading. Christine could almost sense it and she stayed glued to his side. Then she said something.

She looked at him with tears running down her face "Erik, I know your answer, but I realized yesterday, that I had not actually formally apologized. And well… I think I n-need to now, before.." Her face, her beautiful face, fell apart into complete and utter heartbreak. Erik could not stand to see an ounce of pain, especially pain caused by him, come across her beautiful face.

She took a big, husky breath "I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry, that I once threw away perhaps the best friendship and love of my life for a real monster. Monsters say they love you, then destroy you. That's what he did… What I did to you. And how you still manage to love me, is insane, but I can't help but being grateful for it. I'm so sorry, if I had chosen right, you'd be healthy, we'd be happy right now, perhaps even… Anyways, I guess that dream is dead. God will always haunt me with 'what if' now… But Erik, please. I understand if you never could but please forgive me." She finished looking him in his yellow eyes. They always reminded her of the sun, in the darkest nights. Oh how she was so not ready to lose them.

He gestured for the pad and wrote "Nothing to forgive. I love you" And as he handed her the pad, he could feel his lungs start to give up as he fought harder to breath. His body was finally breaking down. To enter the point of no return. He looked at her hands, which lay on his, naked, as the evil Victome stole her ring saying it was a stupid reminder, made his soul tremor even more. Almost as if he could feel its bonds loosening from his body.

He needed something. Something that would make his soul, his very existence stay. A necessity. He started to think over her words. Her beautiful voice as it said unneeded apologies. Then a quote stuck in his head "we'd be happy right now, perhaps even…" No. He could not, would not give up, fall to the exhaustion. The unsaid happiness, needed to happen. But he needed proof it would. His tired mind, his tired soul, needed to have one solid promise. Some clear goal to fight for, to tell himself, one more day until this…

He knew what to do. But yet had a moment, where he found it extremely unfair. Could he do that to her… But then again, she wanted him. That fact, which seemed so abstract in his own weird mind, become almost concrete, like when he finally put his music into notes on a page, and held it between his skeletal fingers.

He almost couldn't force his failing arm to reach over to a small drawer in his nightstand. His hands shook with exhaustion. She seemed to want to help but was stopped by the sight of the trembling fingers. The tangible proof of his coming death, at least that's what she saw. He managed to give all his strength and pull the drawer open.

Inside was a box. It help what was once supposed to be the rings for their vows, months ago. While it was not the ring he originally wanted her to have, this would have to do. He pulled the smaller of the two out, and with his remaining strength toom christine's hand. He could not write, but he knew in that moment, he needed to speak. Something was telling him to. It had to be said, to be real. With one tremoring breath, the breath that he thought would be his last he said,

"Not how I want-do this. Not fair, but I have one reque-t, say you'll stay with me, till the end. Marry me Christine"

His vision was fading from lack of oxygen, and his voice was hardly even a whisper. It was the voice given to a man at his last confession. But he needed to know, NEEDED it. If he had it, a blissful yes, he knew he could keep fighting, his body would have to, as it would hear sweet Christine's promise of joy to it. If it was a no, he would give up. His lights would fade, and he would know no more pain…

She opened her mouth, and said...

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Aren't I just an asshole. Ok don't worry, I won't be mean and switch perspectives.


	32. Chapter 32

Here we go

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 _Her mind was racing in shock as Erik, spoke. The moment he opened his lips she knew this might be his last moment. She could sense it trembling in the air around them. Then with what seemed as a final plea of life he said "Marry me Christine"_

 _She was shocked but sensed he needed an answer, whether it be to give himself some peace before dying or to convince his poor, tired body to live, she wasn't sure. But she was sure of one answer, she'd been sure ever since that day at Madam Giry's when Meg made her realize all of her mistakes and true wishes._ So she said "Yes."

With that word Erik could feel his very soul stir, and he MADE it latch on tightly. He MADE his heart beat. Because with that word, to him, his heart really was beating for not just him anymore, but her. He needed to live, he needed to see that day. He needed HER. He had always needed her.

And so with help from her, he slid with trembling fingers the small, silver, sapphire encrusted ring on her thin, delicate hand. Just the sight, the sight that would proclaim to the world that she was his, and his alone, he felt his heart beat stronger. He had to live, for her.

Christine could tell this and she burst into happy, relieved tears. She knew he would fight, and keep fighting, at least for one more day. One more day is all they had until the deadline was up, but in that moment, she no longer cared. She was happy. Happy he'd made it this far, and felt a sort of renewed hope as she looked down at her wedding band, turned engagement ring.

Erik could see this and smiled too, then he decided he needed rest. Something told him he would wake again. He had to. So he fell quickly asleep.

Christine sat in silence for a long while. Then she turned to his deformed, skull like face, and kissed it softly, delicately. She savoured the feeling of the skin on his thin, thin lips, against her plush ones. It felt like heaven.

Then she pulled away and sat in the chair next to his bed. She took his hand and prayed once again. Neither of them could lose eachother now. They really were past the point of no return. She knew in her soul, if he died, she would follow. She couldn't leave him alone any more. Both had been lonely for too long in their lives. So she begged and pleaded. After a while she stopped, and fell asleep next to his hand, dreading tomorrow. The last day.

Once the sun rose, she dragged zombie like to the kitchen. What if's filled her head as she made the last of the brew, the last of the incense. And every time it felt like too much, she would force herself to look at her left hand. At the silver and sapphires that were so small, but meant the world to her. Then she would continue. She had to.

Then it happened. The noise she had been desperately listening for. A knock at the front door.

She quickly sat down the pot and ran as fast as possible to the front door and nearly collapsed from relief.

It was Darius, holding up a girl he had never seen before. He led her quickly inside and laid her on the couch. The moment he let go, Christine pulled him into a bone crushing hug and sobbed with relief. She could not even think about to ask who she was or where Nadir was. Insteed she had one mission in mind when she pulled away. "Give me the cure, I'll start the brew. Oh you came just in time! Go, go see him. We will discuss everything after I finish this concoction."

He handed her the leaf and dashed off to the kitchen, slightly in shock, but so incredibly happy. They'd be ok.

"We are going to be ok" She said to herself as she carefully began to stew the sweet smelling herb.

Darius walked in nervously to see Erik who seemed already dead. He was pale and the room was a mess. Nadir wasn't kidding when he said that Erik was ill. His pale fingers stretched out from under the covers, looking like bone. In the corner was a trail of buckets leading to the bathroom filled with various things such as wrags, bandages, leftover medicine, buckets of dried blood. It was a sad sight to see. Pages strewed the floor around the bed mingled with clothes. Evidence that Christine has been running around like mad caring for him. His throat was bound with a thick wool one and if he had not decided to open his eyes to look at him and moan right then, he would have thought him dead.

Even so it seemed like he was on the brink of it. Darius knelt down next to his friend. "Erik, my friend I am so sorry you are like this… But I am here and we have it, well I have it. But I will explain it later. Christine is making it in the kitchen now. Say she had been working hard to help hasn't she. I know Nadir wasn't sold but…"

He gestured for the pan and wrote _Well he should be now. She has been a saint through all of this. I told her everything and can you believe it, she STILL LOVES ME, she has taken care of me, showed me a glimpse of joy… Why she even agreed to marry me yesterday. But be warned. If I hear one foul about her thing come from any ones mouth about, regardless of who or what they have done for me in the past, I will, no matter what condition I am in, make them close their mouth, possibly even forever…_

He gave the scribble to Darius and he laughed "Well, somethings have not change after all my dear friend, but don't worry. I doubt anyone here is dumb enough to say anything like that. Now I think I hear her.." And as if on cue a radiant and tired Christine came in.

She had a cup filled with venomous looking green liquid. He was relieved to see it looking the correct shade. She was practically jumping with joy as she lifted his head gently and helped him drink every last drop. "Now, you can sleep longer, long as every four hours you have this. Whis is fantastic because now you can finally get the rest you need. Now love, I have a billion thing I need to discuss with Darius. You get some sleep ok?"

He nodded slightly as relief, sweet impossible relief was crashing over him. He might just survive this afterall. She kissed his forehead and he could feel a smile tugging the corners of her mouth as she did so, which was in all honesty a completely new sensation that he thoroughly enjoyed. He fell quickly asleep as she got up, happy, he might just actually have a living bride.

She shut the door and followed him to the living room. "Now Darius will you please introduce me to this lovely young woman and tell me what happened"

He did and when it was over Christine looked worried "So you are telling me I only have half the amount I need?"

"Yes unfortunately, and I do not know where he is. He thought it safe if both of us had some that it might get there faster. This he said would last one and a half months. Long enough for him to find his way back."

"But what if he can't! What if he dies or is kidnapped or or!" She started to hyperventilate. The relief and then immediately wait that was forced on her was just too much. Darius knelt in front of her putting his hands on her shoulder. "Nadir is going to get back to us. I know him." Then he laughed and tilted his head to the left "After all, he did learn from the best when it comes to escaping, believe me Christine, Erik is my friend, and Nadir practically my… Brother. I would tell you if we should be concerned, but I have known Nadir for a LONG time, and I know he will make it home to us, safe and sound"

She couldn't help but trust him. I mean, what other choice did she have? She had to stay strong for Erik. Then she looked at Asal. "Darius, how about we settle her in my room. I never use it, and that way we could easily care for them both, as the rooms are right next to each other. Infact… Hold on one moment" She dashed to Eriks room, and went to the black drapes in the corner of the room. The fablic was thick and dusty with ill use, she pulled them back to reveal a simple black mirror. She knocked and heard an echo. So she felt all around the edges until finally finding a small button. She pushed it and it opened one side of the mirror. You couldn't see in, no, because in its place was a door. So she ran to her ill used room and did the same. It created a connector between the rooms which would help them communicate and help them both a bit better. And this way they could open Asal's door and close Eriks so he could get more peace, but still get to him and hear him.

He had told her once in passing about it, back when he first brought her down here. He mentioned if she did kill herself-as she had threatened, he could still get to her, to bury her. At the time she had been terrified, but now she saw beauty in it. In his own weird way, he did not want her to be alone, even in death. She shuttered at that word that seemed to hang constantly over her life. She needed to just sit and cry. But she could not stop moving. There was no time, things to do.

She shook her head to refocus and returned to the living room. "I was right. I connected the two rooms so now we can care for them both a bit more. My bed is huge, if you just want to sleep in there with her, or you can sleep on the couch too… Oh you must be hungry and tired! I just- oh god" And for whatever reason, her mind and body which were trying to go a million miles a minute decided to burst into tears again as she crumpled on the floor. Her body and hormones were just so extreme she couldn't seem to express it.

Darius sighed and said "Poor thing. This has been too much hasn't it? There, there, it is ok. I can help you know. Hey it's alright." But she could not stop crying. Asal was starting to stir from the noise, she'd fallen asleep during the discussion she could not follow, as it was in French. He sighed and picked up his niece, taking her to Christine's room, then returned to help Christine onto the couch. Then he just held her and let her get out all of what she'd been hiding in front of Erik this past month. The pain, the anxiety. All of it. After an hour, she fell asleep.

So he carefully, picked her up and carried her to Erik's bed. His cat eyes were peering at him with concern and… Gratitude? He carefully laid her next to him, were she immediately curled up next to him and Athena. Athena looked quite pleased at the added warmth and started to pur. He sat next to Erik.

"You know where the alarm is? I think she needs to rest through this next shift and I'll go and do it for her"

He wrote _Living room, small table clock. Red. Darius, thank you. For everything. For helping and… for giving her what I can not right now. I do have one more request. Please tell me when you have eaten and rested, what happened?_

He smiled "No problem at all. And I will tell you later, and in fact, I might have a small… request as well"

 _The phantom always repays his debt when it is due… And so does Erik, usually._

Darius laughed "I haven't seen this weird but funny side of you since you were a teenager. She really does bring out some light in you, doesn't she?" They shared a small smile.

Yes things were starting to look up…

Right?

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DunDun, well, talk about a rollercoaster. And at least now, they all can start to heal. Or can they… ?


	33. Chapter 33

Cue dramatic music

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Raoul was ready, His evil plan he decided to set in motion that day. If Christine wanted him to be the monster, the gargoyle, so he would be, and more. He would be her demon from hell. His plan was simple really.

He knew Nadir was out doing something for Erik, and therefore would not be at home. And he knew that if he did not make it to Erik, he would die. So he only had to make sure he did not get to Erik. He needed a reason to come home first.

The house was empty, undisturbed for weeks now, Breaking is was easy. His hand, which burnt like fire when he smashed through the glass felt ecstatic. He could feel the hell that he was representing and loved it. If it were not for the fear of getting caught he would've let out a high cruel laugh. Once the door was unlocked and he made sure that the Persian had not come home yet he walked out the door. Then he went three apartments down. The lights were off, seemed to only be one living there. Good. So he looked at the open window, perfect height. Then he took a shredded rag and stuffed it into the whiskey bottle he had been carrying. Then he struck a simple match. One simple match that would cause unbelievable havoc.

Then he quickly took aim and threw the make shift fire starter into the old womans window. He could tell it was a woman by the shrill scream she let out when she heard the bottle hit the ground.

He loved the sound. It reminded him of the day he began to destroy Christine's life. Oh joyous day, when that bitch finally started to get what she deserved, when he finally saw the bitch she was. He had once tried to even save her from her father, that's why it was her mother's throat that had been sliced and not her own.

As people began to wonder out in a panic, with children crying, mothers yelling, Raoul discreetly went to Nadir's house and his in the corner of the furthest room from the fire.

When Nadi got here, he would probably arrive on train, and hopefully see a mention, a police investigation of the fire on his street. He would come home first, to see if the place still stood. And there Raoul would wait for him. It was just far enough that the flames probably wouldn't force him to evacuate, but close enough to make the old man worry. If he did not show within a few days, when it would be plastered everywhere, Raoul would go down the street a little more and do the same. No police would ever think a neighbor capable of this, as it is close enough to probably cause damage to themselves as well. Yes he was quite safe. In fact..

He got up. He had to be sure the police would not suspect a victim of causing the damage. So he took the match and went out to light the door on fire and the front part of the apartment. He quickly smothered it with his coat. Leaving only its burn marks behind, validating the victim look and giving caused to the smashed window set in the door. Like the door had jammed and he had to escape.

No one even looked or checked twice, too worried about the enferno as people screamed when there flesh was slowly burnt off their bones, or they suffocated from lack of oxygen.

Raoul embraced it. He embraced his new life with open arms, to the music of screams. The screams all done in honour of her. His ex fiance. Oh how they echoed, like music, through his head, joining in with his own beastial growls. Growls of the monster, finally let loose.

He sighed happily as he slowly drifted asleep, in the dark corner of the apartment. As a spider, waiting for his prey, to fly innocently into their demise.

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ooooOOOOoooh sHHHIITT


	34. Chapter 34

Let's see how the lovers are… fyi this is by far my longest chapter.

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A week had passed since their arrival. That next day when Christine woke in a fit Darrius shoved her back down, much to Erik's approval.

"you have been working yourself sick christine. Today I take care of you all. Tomorrow we trade-"

"But you have traveled so far and are exhausted-"

"as have YOU young miss. I can see it in your eyes. All I have done is simply what needed to be done and I am glad I have done it. Well I'm not glad Erik is ill, but the outcome of rescuing my niece I am glad to have done. After that all I did was sit for long hours on a carriage. You on the other hand look like you've been through hell mademoiselle."

Christine blushed and erik mouthed 'you don't know the half of it.'

Erik for his part, was already beginning to improve. The first dose of medicine had been like water to a man abandoned in the desert. And each day he felt slightly better. Everyone was relieved of course. Christine and Darius had even started talking about starting him on physical therapy next week. That is if his coughing continued to decrease. They were worried of injuring him more by moving him.

Erik understood the concern but was agitated to say the least. He would kill to be at his piano or organ right now. Composing the most glorious melodies he had ever had. They were all there, trapped in his head. He would even go as far as to put them next to the greats of Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart. They were the purest mixture of pain and happiness. He was sure that if he could just set the music to life he could describe love more accurately than any other human possibly could.

Christine. Sweet saintly Christine seemed to sense that restlessness in his eyes so she surprised him. She made sure he was completely asleep -thanks to a sleep tonic- then with the help of Darius, rolled the upright piano he had from when he set up the 'magic piano' from the Don Juan practices.

Christine found it while detouring in curiosity returning from the store. It had been once hooked to the piano on stage, judging by its surrounding in a back room that, through a maze of tunnels, lead to the stage. They did not even know how he managed it but upon reflection, did not question it.

After an hour they managed to get it to his bedside, he was still sound asleep despite their pants. It was just close enough, wedge between the bed and wall, to where he could play simple tunes one handed and maybe compose some, to ease his mind.

To say the least he was over joked when he awoke. Christine said in a stern, now worn out voice " Only simple, and I mean normal musician simple songs. I do not want you to strain yourself. And if I say enough, enough. Only one hand and no pedals for now. If you do well on your therapy I might arrange it so you can do pedals. But will this be enough for now? I figure you could work on base rhythms with whatever is in your head since those are usually less complex…" She trailed off looking at a beautiful sight. The sight was Erik smiling, little Athena next to him, seeming to sense the happiness.

He wrote _thank you Christine. For everything. I love you_

"I love you too Erik" She said as she leaned over and kissed him.

Of course the no hard or complicated things was stretched almost immediately to the extremes but he looked so peaceful no one could say something. Of course the music was other worldly with it's beauty as always. But he seemed to have attracted a new fan.

Asal who was understandably shy would beg Darrius to bring her in their room. He made her wait until he could remove the stitches but finally agreed.

She would sit and listen for hours to Erik's music. It was something she didn't need to know another language for, as music is one of the few things that can conquer cultural barriers with its higher beauty and power.

She of course would translate through Darius or if he was asleep through Erik's writing. Thankfully she was literate thanks to Darius and Nadirs funding of her to have at least a basic education. Still it was hard having to rely on someone else. Erik promised to teach her French when he could speak and Christine Persian to help.

In fact three days into their stay, Darius and Christine sat down to talk.

"Christine I have been meaning to talk to you and with them both asleep I feel this is the perfect time."

"Me too. Speaking of which I've been meaning to ask and I want to before I forget, why did you not go back and get clothes from the apartment? I don't mind buying them of course but I forgot to ask on my way out and it has been bugging me"

"Oh, when we left Nadir felt it was safer if only one person had the key, which is the only thing that could connect us to anything going wrong. We were in such a rush he didn't give them to me you see. So I just rushed here. He'll let me in when he returns."

Christine shifted uneasily at the lingering what if in her head but didn't comment on it. Darius was convinced he would return and there was no sense arguing it. She shook her head then asked "So what is it you wasted to ask about"

"ah yes…. Well you see… I need your help." He said shifting uncomfortably. He hated asking for help but, when it came to his niece…

"We would do anything for you Darius. If it weren't for you, I'd be planning a funeral right now. I will forever be indebted to you"

"Well ok… It's my niece. You know how I told you she is a single mother with a young child? Well she obviously can't return to Persia and she needs a job… one that would allow for her to watch after or accommodate her and her son. And possibly house her until I find-"

"Darius please you're rambling. Of course I will convince Erik to let her stay. She can help me a lot when she is well, to run errands and help me with the house in general. In fact having extra hands right now would be perfect. And as for the child… It might take some convincing but I think I could get Erik to let them live here as a live in maid. There would be rules and god help the child if he breaks one but…"

Darius put his hand on hers. "Christine, you are a lifesaver. And don't worry about the boy. She tells me his is quick to learn. She taught him how to fight and observe and listen at a young age. It was the only way she could go to work without worrying too much that he would run into the streets… Anyways thank you Christine I owe you"

"Anytime Darius. Oh and speaking of oweing people, do you or Asal have that address of the inn? Me and Erik would like to write a thank you letter to her, and some other things, for helping you two." He handed her the paper and she smiled her thanks and that she would write some time next week when things are more settled.

Well today, a week after their arrival, Christine decided to tackle Darius 's request. It was evening, Darius was asleep on the couch and Asal was taking a long bath in the guest bathroom.

So while Erik quietly played a small melody she went and shut the doors. He stopped and eyed her suspiciously. She never closed the door.

He grabbed his paper and wrote _what's going on?_

She grimaced. She had hoped that he would have not noticed anything weird so she had more preparation time. That's not to say she hadn't been preparing what she was going to say. All day. She had been over every scenario all day and she knew it was pointless. Erik always did what she predicted least.

"Well Erik… we have… a favour to ask. This is coming from Darius. Before I tell you though I would like to point out that Darius saved your life and is the reason you are with ME today." Erik nodded, coughing slightly.

"Ok so… you know how Asal has a child and oh ok, I'm just going to say it. I want to hire Asal as a live in maid. She can't speak French, can't go back to Persia, needs shelter and to be able to care for her son. I think it is a great idea and it would help me take care of you and the house better. We owe him so much."

When she finished she gulped. Erik did NOT look happy about this as he scribbled quickly. She nervously accepted the paper.

 _I suppose Erik is just supposed to accept a complete stranger and CHILD. Christine! You are asking VERY MUCH for Erik to do. May I remind you of HOW YOU reacted to my face when you were a grown woman? Can you even imagine a child being subjected to such horrors! Not to mention me being ill has rather… rather worsened my features… He'd be scared to leave his bed at night because of me. I'd be burdening this favour more than helping the cause with how much she'd be up with him at night! And poor Erik would be the case and Christine would hate me again! Oh Erik could not handle that. No no. He is already bedridden because of that hate remember? What were you thinking?!_

Tears filled Christine's eyes as she was slapped hard by his opinion. Yes she was right to know she would not of predicted that argument. She then said with hurt showing in her voice "Well. I was thinking we could do a favour for the people who saved us."

 _Living with me would not be a favour._

She then threw her arms in the air "oh here we go. Erik honey. She would view at as one even if you didn't!"

 _You didn't and what if her son wants to leave! Do you not care_

"I do care. And I know you would do well with him. Especially when. He is older. But thank you. For once again pointing out how I'm a careless sack of a person who does things regardless of other's feelings" She said through tears she was hiding from Erik. She wanted to end it there before he brought up the past again. So she quickly ran out of the room sobbing. Her heart feeling like it had been stabbed repeatedly. 'He still hasn't forgiven me' She thought over and over. 'Oh god he must blame me for how he is now too' She thought as she ran down the hall, a blur past Darrius who rose startled from the couch. She ran into the cavern, looking for a safe place to hide her tears. To hide her shame.

She thought of leaving but wanted to still be near enough that if something happened she could help. Finally she found an old storage supply room half way up the cavern. She went in but kept the door open for light.

Meanwhile Darius charged into Eric's room. There he found Erik with his head turned from the door. His fists were clench and Darius had a feeling it was Erik's temper behind this, so he stood back and approached slowly. That's when a hand on his shoulder caught him by surprise.

Asal looked up at him and whispered "you go to christine. I would but I can't understand her and she me. But I can talk to Erik. I'll calm him down." Darius sighed but knew she was right.

"Be careful he has a temper and a vicious tongue." He whispered

"No more vicious than the royal family" She sighed and went to sit on the edge of his bed.

"Hi." She said simply.

He never looked at her, keeping his face hidden as he wrote _aren't you going to run away like the others?_

"No reason to. You don't have my heart in your hands so I have no fear of your temper. Which by the look of Christine, I'd say it is something fierce. And you aren't hiding anything. I've seen your face before. Even when you were crying like you are now. Yes I noticed when I started to wonder at night your nightmares." He looked at her then. His face, that of a skulls, looked utterly broken right now.

 _Erik is a monster. He hurt his Christine again… because of YOUR child._

"I doubt he has anything to with it really. I think it a more the children of your past isn't it." Erik's hand stay still. Her cold analyzing eyes saw right through. "Erik. I know, just by the pain in your eyes, you've been through hell. That those children and adults of your past terrify you. But there is one child. Isn't there. One who would listen." His head snapped to look at her "Yes Darius told me you helped her settle when she came to the opera. That when she was older you fell in love. And she is the only one who gave you a chance. At least at first. But then she too hurt you?" He nodded slowly.

"Well I dare say she has more than made up for it. I've seen her hurt more than she shows you, you know. In those quiet subtle moments when she would give me food and turn to go but see herself in the vanity mirror. How she would pause and close her eyes. Giving herself moments to hide pain before she came in here because she knew you needed rest. Well Erik, I just have to say this. I think you have less to worry about my son than you do those children in the past. Believe it or not there are worse things to see than a damaged face. And my boy my brave boy. He's seen it. He's seen me working my ass off in the streets for food and shelter for us. Seen… those ON the streets. Believe me. I think the kids from your past are far more likely to hurt you if you let them than my son. They already have. Look what they did to your fiance."

Erik was stunned into silence. Then his mind began to pace. She was right of course. But his thoughts turned to fear as he realised she was running blind through his maze of traps in pain because he let his own past hurt her.

 _I have to find her_.

" Darius will and you can't walk"

 _No I HAVE to find her. If they both get hurt in my maze then that's blood on my hands. And Eriks done with that._

"How do you expect to get there without walking? I can't carry you. I'm still too weak." Erik sighed and looked around. Then a thought struck him as he hurriedly wrote

 _The piano bench! It roles_

She sighed. Well if they made up maybe he would finally really think about hiring her. So she went over to the music room two doors off the main hall and pulled out the chair that thankfully moved easily.

She then rolled it to the piano free side of the bed. Erik was too weak to roll on it himself so she helped him. Once on she carefully began to roll him out of the house.

They found Darius two openings over looking for her. He about had a heart attack seeing Erik so precariously laid on the bench.

"He wanted to find her and thought you two would hit traps" Darrius who has not thought of that sighed.

"go in Asal. Thank you. I'll take him from here".she nodded and walked back, exhausted.

"Erik you're going to be the death of me." He held up a finger. He was so worried but had to control himself he had to see if he could hear her. After ten seconds he heard faint sobbing three corridors over.

He quickly directed Darius over and within five minutes they found her sobbing.

She looked up startled and then when she saw Erik out of bed she exploded "ERIK DESTLER WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED!"

He winced and then gestured for her to come over. Darrius slowly backed away as she did. He was having a hard time breathing but ignored it. She needed him.

Then clenching his fist for the anticipated pain he said whispering "coming. For you. Needed to say. I'm sorry."

She was touched, mad, and a few other emotions but hurt was on top still. "Why? It's my own fault right. I'm the one who left"

He burst into hard painful sobs at her words. He could hear the pain he caused in her voice. Erik knew he'd forgiven her and he still brought it up. He sure felt like a monster. Then he felt surprised to feel pressure on his hand. She was squeezing it supporting anyways.

"hard. Sorry. I. I. Wrong. Wanted to end argument. Promise never bring up again. I am so sorry Christine" He choked out in a harsh painful whisper. It felt like chains. Hot from flames were wrapped around inside him. He had hurt her again and hated himself for it. He always did. He didn't even feel or notice him falling from the bench. That Christine caught him. He felt like a child himself. Beaten and torn.

Christine's heart melted. She knew in all of this he sometimes said things that maybe weren't meant the same way he thought. Then she thought about how hard it must've need for him to find her.

"Shhhhh erik. I forgive you. I know the idea of children scared you. I shouldn't of-" He shook his head.

"ones. Here" He said gesturing to his head. " hurt us"

"Erik… come on. I'll carry you back. That bench I'll get tomorrow.

"Erik sorry. Erik monster"

"No you're no monster. Just scared of the past. We'll talk when we get back." She sighed. She was not going to let him get away with this but knew they needed to talk it out.

Erik nodded, trying to while his tears of pain-both emotional and physical- from his eyes. He was exhausted and his throat seemed to burn worse than ever. On the way there he started a coughing fit and felt like he might faint from the pain. But he refused to. He needed to work this out with her.

When they got back Christine laid him gently on the bed. He was wearing horribly and had broken out into a cold sweat. "Erik maybe we should talk about this later. You're exhausted and ill."

He grabbed the notepad pad with hands that trembled more than usual and weakly gestured to his pillows. Christine of course propped him up so he could better write.

 _I'm so sorry Christine. I behaved like a monster today. I really don't know what to say except I am sorry and that upon reflection and with talking to Asal about it, I realized it was not her kid that was the problem but me and my past. Erik was scared you see. Scared people would be afraid of him. Hurt him again. And he took it out on Christine. He said things that he knew would hurt her so he could win and not have to think about it. Erik was selfish to the people who had only shown him kindness. He let his fear hurt them. Again… Erik who is tired of being cooped up and having no say in anything that happens. When all I want is to control and protect felt like he was given a chance to say something and he messed it up. He got scared…_

Christine sighed and took his hand. "Erik… While what you did is not ok, and I'll address that later, it IS my fault however to not take into consideration your past. I only thought about you helping me as a child and did not consider you had other experiences, far worse ones with other children. I suppose to solve that maybe we should have talked to Asal and let her decide on that, as she is his mother and knows how he'd react and what she would do with that knowledge." She paused as Erik started writing.

 _She came in here after you ran off. She told me he wouldn't be frightened, that he'd seen worse. Which Erik is still not entirely convinced on because not much is worse than his body…_

"See Erik. It is that stuff right there that I want to discuss. After this I'll bring Asal in again and we can talk it out. But it's that self fear. That's what caused all of this. You assuming too much about people's reaction. I know that experience has caused this but…" She paused as a question came to her mind "Erik have you ever actually had someone sit down and explain in a calm manour about your face, before they meet you?"

He paused thinking. Few people had ever reacted neutral to his face. Nadir had but he had probably been warned or seen him talking to the Sultan and had time to think and ask questions. His son had been so ill Erik knew he didn't care at that point. Darius had probably been told about him through Nadir when his warrant was first issued. Asal was probably told by Darius. Meg and Giry had seen it when Christine unmasked him. And had time to accept it. He finally answered

 _Sort of I suppose. But more of a 'I'm hunting this person beware or we are meeting this person because you have no choice…_

"Well Erik this boy she can talk to. She can let him understand calmly what… What all has happened."

 _So warn him…_

" Erik…"

 _I wished there was someone I could meet. A stranger. And not have any warnings. No pre trauma. Just meet an average person and have them see ME and not be scared. To be normal…_

She paused and looked at her fiance. The man she would marry one day, when all of this was over. They had talked some of course of the wedding. But more of of an abstract thing. She had told him of the dress however and he loved seeing her so happy about it. She wished she could see that small smile come across his face again because to her it was the best sight in the world. Then a thought struck her.

"I know of someone. Or some people who wouldn't, couldn't, be warned that would do that…. Well maybe. It sort of depends on us… although I think that's a topic for another day."

 _Who?_

She blushed. And whispered "Our children… If. If we have any."

Erik had do many different emotions run through him at those words. _Our children._ Much of it was joy of course. But almost as much was fear of a thousand things. He shook his head. That was surely another conversation for another day.

 _Ok. That is a conversation for later as it would take far too long to talk about and it is far enough away right now to where we shouldn't. Not today anyways. But I will drop that aspect of initial fear. I had not considered it. Someone being raised seeing me every day…_

"ok. So do you want to talk about it with Asal?" He nodded. "So that brings us to point b. Erik honey… If we are going to really do this. Get married, stay together… we need to set and talk about some rules. Firstly. The thing that started this fight. I know there is no way, at least in the near future, for you to completely escape all trauma, especially when stressed. Hell even I will probably do that too. But we BOTH have to agree to when it seeps into our thoughts. Take a step back, ask for a pause in the argument or conversation, to deal with it. Erik I know full well you've been called a monster in the past. That you've been hurt. So have I. We both have done things we wish we hadn't and had things done that to us that shouldn't have been done. But I forgive you. I accept you. I accept the fact we probably won't sleep many nights waking from nightmares or that weird small things could send one of us into a depression or flashback. I know and fully embrace it head on because it means I get to have you. But can you do the same."

 _Yes of course. Long as you'll stay. And you know I never had anything to forgive._

She sighed and shook her head. He'd stay by that till the day he died. "That brings me to point c. Erik when I bring up things and questions like that. Which I am sure I will plenty of times in our life. You can't just say something mean to end the conversation because you want to end the conversation. I need to work on it too. But please Erik, when we discuss things it makes no sense to add drama when you know we will end up talking about it later anyways because it HAS to be resolved. Understand" He nodded sadly. He had been a child. Again.

"and finally on that note. When I am discussing things instead of getting mad and trying to end it at least try to understand what I AM arguing. What I am saying. Try to get my perspective. I will of course try better next time to address your perspective too. But can you do that Erik?" He nodded slowly. Then wrote

 _I can try_

"good. Now erik… I'm sorry. For saying things that weren't.. the nicest. And not thinking of your past experience was also a bit uncalled for so I'm sorry."

 _Erik is sorry for being mean. And for exploding. He needs to be better at not exploding first thing._

He looked like a tired ill child who had lost his favourite teddy bear. Christine's heart melted and she went to fix his pillows. She gave him a sweet kiss.

A few minutes later she brought Asal in and they discussed it. Asal said she would talk with her son about certain rules and behaviors. That she would warn him Erik might be very different from others. To really listen to him and not to be scared of him. Erik in his turn promised to be understanding he was a child and might still sometimes put a toe out of line.

Christine sighed. It had been an exhausting day. Darius, whom was grateful for her convincing him to allow Asal to stay, seemed to sense this in her. So she told her he'd handle the night shift and maybe start out Asal on a few basic task she could do while she was gaining back strength. Such as small loads of laundry or making Erik some basic meals that he could eat. All of his food had been changed with the new medicine to foods that would not absorb his medicine as he needed as much of it in his system as possible. Even if it meant slight nausea. So she was set to boiling vegetables for his next meal, that were soft enough to go down but would not absorb the medicine.

All seemed quite in the house. So Christine decided it was a perfect time to sleep, curled next to Erik…

 _His cold eyes stared into her soul. No pity or remorse was in them. She could hear Raoul mumbling no in the background and the old man's laugh. Except for that all she could hear was his cold harsh breath. It seemed to consume her as he stabbed her with his most personal knife. Over and over. It was torture._

 _She felt the heat burst through her. Tears flooded harder at the moment as she was helpless, weak and damaged. She looked at her mother and wanted to wake her. To have her look away. But she couldn't. She couldn't move. Then she heard the command as the man she once loved. The man she now in that moment swore to hate. The monster leaned down over her._

 _His eyes were different and they hurt worse. They had pity in them. They were alive and that made it so much easier for her to hate them. Hate those eyes. Because he killed her right there and yet he had the privilege of being alive enough to pity her. She felt his own knife, hot with the fires of hell and damnation slide into her wound. She finally in all her pain managed to scream_

Christine bolted up right a scream still flying from her mouth. She was so confused by her surroundings but could still feel the heat trickling down her leg. She had to move from it. She bolted from the bed and flew to the wall sobbing.

Erik who bolted awake at the sound of her scream couldn't help but hoarsely yelp "Christine!"

This caught her attention. She looked into his yellow sun eyes. Not blue. His face which was layered with extreme concern was not the once pretty boy, but the skull she had learned to love and found more perfect than any other. Her breathing calmed. She wasn't at her mother's house. She was home with her fiance Erik.

But she still felt the heat and looked down at her dress confused. She had started her bleeding she realized, as her nightgown was stained with a big red circle. She walked over to the breath, trying not blink because every time she did she saw that horrible night. She was crying and extremely sore.

She looked at the bed and to her horror realized in her nightmare she seemed to let out more than normal and completely ruined the sheets. Her cheeks stained with scarlet and she cried harder.

Darius and Asal at that moment burst in having heard the noise. But Erik who understood what must have happened pointed to Asal and shooed away Darius. He gestured for her to stand in the corner. Then he turned to Christine she was hiding her face in her hands as she sobbed.

Erik not caring about the now wet sheets slowly reached for her hand. When he couldn't reach he waved Asal over to help move him closer. She did so and returned to her corner. Knowing it would be better for him to talk to her. He reached for her hand.

She jumped when he touched her hand. Then she started rambling "I'm sorry I ruined the sheet and woke you and-"

"s-stop" He whispered. He then grabbed the pad and wrote calmly _I understand Christine. The sheets we can wash. Now take off the nightgown and change. We will go to the living room and talk in private._ She nodded not knowing what else to do. Asal who guessed she would change already had a clean one in Her hands and Christine blushed taking it. Not looking into her eyes. She then ran into the bathroom. She wanted to lock the door and sob but knew Erik would just hurt himself and getting up to unlock it.

She changed quickly and suddenly heard a knock. She opened it to see Asal with napkins and a note on top.

 _Asal told me there were none here and I had never thought to buy any. So I had Darius pick them up yesterday._

Christine blushed more as she took them. She came out ten minutes later. Darius had moved Erik to the couch and propped him up with pillows. He nodded at Christine as he and Asal went to a back room.

Christine sat in the chair next to the couch and curled into a ball. She was in a lot of pain. When she performed some months it would get so bad she couldn't perform and would lay for hours in her bed.

She kept seeing that horrid night flash before her. And she was highly embarrassed. She hid her face from Erik for a long time.

He waited patiently, he knew this was hard for his angel. That she needed a moment to breath. He just lay there watching, wishing more than ever he could help… 'wait a minute' He thought.

He knocked on the table wall lightly. It was there signal. Asal came in and he wrote

 _Third book shelf from the door. Home remedies. Look for one that says menstrual pain management. Please brew it and oh. If you ever need it you can use it as well._

She thanked him and set off to brew a special herbal tea. Christine looked up when she left. And finally whispered in a dead empty voice, the one someone gets when they have been hurt past tears or fear. "How do you do it Erik. How do you cope with it day to day. How did you get up everyday, with the world against you, all alone? How do you do it now. Have the will and control to not have your past destroy the safety in the simplest everyday things?"

It broke his heart to hear her pain. He didn't know how to answer at first. Then replied with three words.

 _Music… then you_

"What do you mean?"

 _Well I'd compose and play. But it only distracted me for when I was doing it. The moment silence filled the house, screams returned. That's why I used to play for weeks at a time, barely sleeping or eating. Because when I was playing or writing I didn't have to focus on it. Then I met you and those moment when I didn't have a key or pen in my hand I could focus on you. Protecting you, encouraging your career… loving you. But at night when I can't control my thoughts… I had to face them. All you can do is distract yourself. Find things that you invest time in. I noticed when we started laying together those thoughts recurred less. I could have peaceful thoughts. I think what will help you the most when I return to better strengths I dare say you might want to try things that interest you. We of course can sing but I have a feeling you'll want more._

She nodded. At least he was honest. At least he really understood her pain well. She thought about it and realized she did have less nightmares with him than at Giry's. Then she took a big gulp of air and asked a question that has been plaguing her for some time, in the back of her mind. Thinking it was a fitting moment to ask.

"E-Erik… Do you… Do you ever worry we won't be able to be… Intimate with each other… because of all that happened. That it will trigger memories…"

He looked away then nodded sadly. Yes he had thought about that. Of course he had, had longer to deal and try to cope with his past than She. Then he thought back to his hours of… alone time…

Sometimes he would have to stop because of some motion or fantasy that would suddenly remind him of a darker time. Of course when that happened he was in a really bad mood the rest of the day. But when Christine was much much older. As in a woman, and he'd imagine her. And he realized something. If a moment caught him off guard and he was on the verge of a depression he'd just imagine her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes. And it would fix it.

He blushed slightly. Glad his body was too ill to tell her anything he thought. They he wrote

 _Can I tell you something really personal and you not completely hate me for it… It's rather. Er. Um. Awkward? But it might help calm your nerves._ She nodded.

He took the paper not looking her in the eyes. _Well… um… how do I explain this? Ok so when you were much older. As in a woman. God you're going to hate me for this. I may um. Have thought of you in… alone time. And no I NEVER spied on you while changing. I would hate it if someone did that to Erik and didn't want it to happen to Christine. I suppose it's not as bad now as we are going to be married. But Anyways. Um. And one thing I realized is that. If I did something that ended up reminding me or triggering episodes… I would focus on a memory of something about you. Like your eyes, or the way your shoulder would move when you opened doors. And it would distract me from the memories long enough to er… Not be in a bad mood later. So my advice from those moments is that when we are… together like that, focus on one Er… sight. Like maybe my hand in yours or shoulder. It helps reminding yourself that you're not there. And of we are in… involved in that sort of activity and you can't shake the image and need to stop or don't like a certain thing I do, I'll stop immediately. I want you to… e-enjoy it too… Well best you can with me..._

He handed her the note looking up at the ceiling. Now he was embarrassed as well. He was not used to sharing that intimate of a thing. But supposed as they were going to be married one day he could mention this sort of thing with her.

She read it and said quietly "I'm not mad or blushing. I get it. And thank you for telling me that. So maybe when we do… I can just focus on your hands or eyes for a moment and feel safe again. You know. I trust you Erik. I really do. And… will you.. W-will you" She burst into more tears and Erik reached for her hand. He hated to see her hurting.

She calmed enough at his touch to say "Will you find me spent? Contaminated? Ugly? What about when I'm older… will you grow tired of my body?" She cried harder at each word and Erik sat in shock

He find HER ugly? What universe did she live in.

 _Christine first off. It's be the height of hypocrisy if I found you contaminated. I don't. I don't care if you're a Virgin. Hell to me I still sort of count you as one. At least emotionally. Because what you had was not sex. It was rape. Something out of your control and I will never hold it against you. I will of course hate those who did it to you with a hate more fierce than nature herself. But I will never be disgusted by it Christine. Never. As far as I'm concerned you're mine and I'm yours. I wouldn't care, physically sex wise, if you slept with every man in paris. Jealousy though… Well I'd probably kill them all out of it. But even then if I got you, I still wouldn't be disgusted. I have never found you ugly. I never could. I find you the most attractive woman alive and you will always be that way. I do not care how old you get or if you had a scar on every part of your body. I'd still love every inch of it because I love you Christine. You and only you… Now will you… Well. I know I am not attractive and will only…. Get worse with age sadly… But do you find me too disgusting to be with like that ? Keep in mind through all of this I will never force you to do what you don't want. But will you reject me for a tainted soul? Tainted body? I understand if you would. I know I am a ugly carcass…_

She sighed sadly. "you know. I hate it when you call yourself that. I don't find you ugly at all. Hell Erik. I have even thought of you healthy and well… active with me a few times. Though I never had the energy to anything about it. For fear of a flash back. But even I have imagined. I see your scars as battle scars. And while you are strange looking. No denying that. I like it. I like your thin frame. It's easy to hold onto. Your face which is like a beautiful piece of strange art, frames your eyes well. I love your eyes. Your hands. The way your jaw comes to a point. Something about it… I like it. I used to now understand it. But I like it now. And I would chose you over any man in France. And I always will because I love you too" She smiled slightly. Taking with him about it felt like a weight was lifted off her troubled mind.

His eyebrow area flew up as he shook his head. Sometimes he thought he will never understand her. She then asked one thought that had been troubling her since their argument hours ago.

"Erik… you know when we do that... we could end up with kids. Could you handle them? Love them?"

Erik was taken aback and slightly offended.

 _Erik not loving Christine's children? Impossible. Only Erik is highly worried they'll inherit his looks.. and that Christine will blame him. Hate him. Leave him. That something will happen to them and it will be Eriks fault… Erik feels it isn't right to curse them with using face. A face all will laugh at. That they'll hate him for it._

"Well I'd love them all the same if they did inherit your facial features. I'd raise them with love and compassion. You would understand them. I doubt they will hate you for it or hate themselves. You can help them cope with others. And I'd make sure they had as normal of a life they can. Sure they would have some issues with others no denying. But they could go into music or art or anything really. Not everything is based on looks. We can teach them passion and they won't notice a thing if they focus on that passion. I'd never hate you or blame you for it. And they would understand and be taught to not hate it as well. It will be a little harder but they'll be happy. I promise." Erik nodded still doubting slightly, and doubting whether or not he would become incredibly unstable due to guilt. But he trusted her. He was glad to know however that she would be ok with it.

She came over to him and sat on the floor next to his head. Propping her head next to his. They kissed and Christine felt safe. Truly safe.

Asal came back with the tea and Christine gladly accepted it. It felt like an elephant was trampling her stomach. Erik kissed her head and leaned against her. He knew she felt horrible. As did he thought his was more from aching weakness and healing ribs than anything. They both were hurting badly and Darius had to help Asal wash tomorrow so he thought it best they sleep there. After ten minutes of maneuvering chairs together and placing them against the couch Christine who was getting cranky from fatigue finally got to recuddle Erik. When Athena realized they weren't going to bed in their room tonight she ran to the living room, nearly taking out a vase and definitely skidding off the wall to get to her adoptive parents.

Christine giggled. Erik smiled at that. Athena decided the best spot for her was on top of Erik's head today. Which made Christine giggle more.

After he gave her a pleading look she moved her to right up next to them both near their feet. Once they, child cats included, were settled. Both fell into a deep sleep.

Ogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogog

So that went a lot into their emotions and thoughts. I hope it maybe answered some questions you might very been thinking. Like how he would react to Asal, kids in general, how Christine would learn to cope and grow as a person, or sex given their history. Also I like to put in some daily things that most books seem to forget. Like women having periods, where characters go, daily food. Small normal stuff we tend to never think about effecting things.

Also I love writing about sweet little Erik and Christine moments where they get to experience normal for a minute. But we still have much more in store… Much much much more. Next is Nadir I promise.


	35. Chapter 35

Plays that weird western duudeduudedududu dudededudududu Also quick note on money incase you didn't know. Erik demanded 20,000 Francs a month, which is the rough equivalent of about $550,000.00 so over half a million a month. This is based off using Swiss Francs (As France uses Ero now) but according to the interwebz swiss franc's are similar enough to get a rough estimate. Then I put the results into an inflation calculator and got these results. Also a toman, is older Persian Currency from this time period and I think it means unit of ten thousand. Which sounds like a lot and seems to be quite an easy amount for someone with access to millions and millions to spare. So in this chapter I think he paid him like 30,000 base currency but with inflation that amount is probably waayyy higher. Anyways, that definitely explains how buying a pipe organ would be ridiculously easy. And in fairness with how amazingly talented Erik is, I am sure if he had a normal face he would probably be just as rich in all honesty.

Ogogoogoogoogogogogoogoogogogogogogogoogogogogogoogogogogogogogogogogogog

They rode hard and fast. The gypsies were disappearing ever further behind them. Then gone. Two hours away he slowed the exhausted horse and guided them into a cave. The child had not spoken, half asleep against his back. Thankfully the cave had a small stagnant pool inside that had dripped from the ceiling. The horse drank it greedily as the two slid down the wall.

Nadir would drink but was afraid of getting them sick with the stagnant water. While he thought of what to do, how to survive a random question formed.

"How did a small child such as yourself know what to do?"

He tilted his head and almost said exasperated "Mama always told me that if a friend was tied up, to untie them. She said because she sometimes might be like that. And she showed me how to cut with a knife without booboos"

Nadir just shook his head. He wondered if this is what Erik was like as a child. Although he would know how to escape for very different reasons. They decided to rest for a few hours and then try to find a way home. Nadir didn't want to frighten the child but he was terrified, Terrified that he would fail his friend that he owed so much, he hoped Darius made it to him in time, because he knew his friend was dead if Nadir was the first to reach them, meaning his utter failure would be complete, that it would be confirmed by another funeral in his long life… He was scared that another child's blood would be on his hands. He hated seeing the child, because represented what could have been. His heart still felt like it was being stabbed every time he imagined his small son. Lying feeble in bed. His mother's eyes peering at him, in so much pain…

He quickly looked at the sky, he needed to focus. Just as he did so he caught sight of something that was nothing short of a miracle. A long line of camels emerged from the horizon. It was a caravan.

Nadir jumped up and grabbed the horse and rushed to them. The head three camels had a family of six, the front one having what was obviously a father and mother. The mother had a small infant snuggled close to her bosom to protect against the desert winds. Nadir's horse reared in front of the father and he fell beside the front camel. "We are looking for food and water, and maybe a path to France. We will work for our stay but may we travel with you? I can pay you"

The Father looked at him apprehensively. "I don't know about strangers… wouldn't be the first time we have lost things due to travelers…"

But his wife piped up intuitively "We? I do not see a group"

"A young boy I am retrieving for his mother. His Father is ill in France and she went to him and asked me to retrieve him from his grandmother's. She lived far out in the desert and I seem to have gotten us lost and we ourselves have ran into thieves, They took everything except our horse and the gold in my pocket."

"Honey… we could use a hand and the money… plus wouldn't you want help in the same situation?"

He sighed and nodded. "Go get the child, I'll slow the line. You can stock up on foods, drinks and clothes tonight when we make camp. Get in line behind our camel when you return."

"Thank you, and here. For your generosity." He handed him three Tomans. He had some of Erik's emergency account changed to the correct currency before they left. The Father's eyes widened. He had never even held one Toman in his life.

As Nadir left he could hear his wife exclaim "See, this is why you be nice to people! Finally our prayers have been answered. This can mean schooling for our children Farhad!" Nadir smiled. The woman seemed quite kind, and the father very protective over his family. And he was happy to hear their jubilations. As he rode back a memory rose to his mind of Erik.

It was a few years ago, Nadir had come to check on his old friend. He walked in on a strange seen. There Erik was, crouching near the arm of the couch, talking softly. Nadir had never heard him speak so… so calmly. Obviously he was giving comfort to what now appeared to be an elderly woman. Her side was bleeding and she was sobbing. Nadir stepped out of sight as Erik continued to whisper things only the woman could hear.

She smiled a little eventually, and then that strange moment of peace and acceptance came over her, and then death passed swiftly across her face.

Erik paused for a long moment. Looking into her blank eyes. Then slowly he closed them with one hand.

He didn't look away from the face as he addressed Nadir in a strange voice he had only heard once before. The voice he had the night he killed his son.

It wasn't strangled with emotion. Nor was it cold or empty. It had a strange warmth to it. Like a warm bath, or a small candle lit room. "I found her in an alley on my way to the market. She noticed me and to my surprise she did not run. Instead she asked for me to come out or to speak. I did so, asking why she did not fear the reaper. I admit I was trying to scare her away… Erik does not trust easily.

Instead of showing fear she smirked. She said 'you'll have to do more than that to frighten me' Curious I asked her why. She explained that her son had been born with deformities. She said she noticed I had one because apart of my old mask fluttered up and almost over my head in the wind. She was on the way to get him food infact, because she knew he didn't like crowds. Erik could relate to that. I suppose I must not be the only one to be cursed as I am. So he stole up to the roof, deciding to watch after her from afar. He was fascinated and highly… jealous. He wanted to see what a mother, a good one who did not run from her child's face. A breeze caught him and almost threw me off, for I was latched on a small statue and do not exactly weigh much.

It was then, when I was distracted that a thief did this. Erik of course hurried to her, and would have chased them, if she was not so hurt. He decided to hurry her here, to maybe save her… But Erik was too late.

But he will do one final request. Her and her son do not have money or means. I will send him some, and give her a proper burial. In honor of the life I could have have. Blind kindness is so rare Nadir. And is hardly rewarded for it. But this time, it will be in some way." He followed on his word and never spoke of her again. Anabell had been her name. Nadir had of course been taken back by this sudden kindness. But on further reflection, it made sense. Those few who did not judge him, whether it be jaded past trauma, or warning, those who did not hate him immediately he had always acted kind towards. He had never tried to hurt Darius, and he had even befriended Nadir and his child. Nadir sometimes wondered if Eik had been born with the ability to walk amongst the average person, if he would have been a kind man. He would probably appreciate this generosity, although Nadir knew he'd never admit to it. Of course many, and sadly understandably so, saw only a monster, and Erik when scared could be one.

Nadir shuddered at this. He remembered seeing Erik once after Raoul had come and took Christine out on a date. He himself almost left in a coffin as Erik was angrily smashing everything he could get his hands on and throwing them, yelling in an ungodly voice. A voice that belonged to the devil. Nadir did not stay long but on his way out, after he shut the door, he swore he heard the smashing stop, a small thump and a faint sob come from the livingroom. He really hoped Christine had done well by her word. That she hadn't finally finished him off…

The caves darkness was a stark contrast to the bright desert. The child leaned against the wall, expecting. He scooped him up with one arm and quickly rejoined the group. The father explained they were traveling to a small station town up north, that would be able to take him to France. It would take about a week. Nadir was silently thankful that they were going far from the palace. And going further into mainland the less likely they were to be found. Usually criminals like they were, traveled straight to ports.

Nadir put the young child on the back of a wagon with some kids not much older than he. He whispered to him on the way to that part of the caravan "if anyone asks, you're hurrying to your sick father in France, your mother is already there and you've been staying with your grandmother."

"Is this one of the lies mommy says I should make when she is in trouble?" Nadir nodded. The boy sighed and half smiled. He missed his mother.

Nadir went to the front and settled into their long journey. They talked some to pass the time. The family was extremely grateful of course. They said they had the two young children in the back and their eldest son in the very back of the caravan, helping them. Apparently it was a family business, handed down through the generations. The father was not unkind, just conservative in speech. His wife however was sweet. And good conversation.

Soon as the day wore silence filled the air. They all were ready for the sun, so hot in the sky to set. That's when life played a cruel joke on Nadir.

Out in the horizon he saw another camel. It kept coming closer as he watched, laid back on his horse, like being in a trance. When it came up to ride beside him, his soul lept. Their, on its back, was his wife. Holding their infant son, her soft cheek to his small head. Smiling in that small warm way only she had. Just like the last memory he had of her, before she died of birth complications three hours later. She whispered to him as if through a dream, through a shadow of a memory 'I love you Nad' then just like that, his whole family shimmered out of sight.

Out of his life, once again.

Nadir wanted to stop, and grieve. But couldn't. Instead the walked on. On for a week. The family had been more than hospitable, and Nadir remained quiet but friendly after the merrage. Everything always seemed painful after dreams and shadows like that. Especially around families. They reminded him of what he had lost. He could have had a houseful of children, like she, his desert jewel, had always wanted. They could have been happy. But then again, when had life ever been fair in matters of happiness.

The family waved them by as they went to the station. Nadir hid them in a small shack on sight waiting for night train to steal onto. It was not much more than a supply station for the tracks.

A few hours into it, after some small talk the young Darius asked "You know… I never knew daddy… Moma said he died trying to take care of us… But I never understood that. Why is it hard to take care of us? How could it kill him? Me and mommy don't bite…"

Nadir looked at him sadly and said in a voice he had not used in many years, the voice of a father "You yourself are not hard to care for. It is everything else that makes it hard. It was him fighting everything else that killed him…" The boy looked at the old boards in the shack taking in the information.

"What is it like having a papa? Do they fight the shadows away? I have a lot of shadows, see them… but Mommy says I have to be strong like Daddy. But how can I be strong like him, if I have never met him?"

"Well… Papa's try their hardest to fight the shadows away…" His son's eyes flashed before him as he continued painfully "and sometimes we don't win… But we never stop. That's what your mother meant by strong. She means be strong enough to not give up, to not let the shadows beat you down."

"We? You have a child?"

"Had… He passed away many years ago… He would be about your mother's age now. They would have grown up together… he was not much older than you when he… when he finally was laid to rest"

The little boy looked at the man sadly. And did what his mother always told him to do when friends were sad. He hugged him.

Nadir was taken aback but returned the hug. Little ghost hands seemed to stay even as Darius pulled away. Hands he once knew so well…

Soon the sun set and they were able to hide away in a cargo freight. It would be another three days until they reached France.

The boy snuggled up under Nadirs arm for warmth in the cool desert night, made cooler by the passing wind. " ?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't have a lot of friends… Mommy and I move around too much… And we both have people we miss… can you be my friend Mr?"

Nadir smiled slightly at the sweet gesture. A sudden image of Erik, younger, how he looked when they first met came to mind. So alone and friendless. "Sure kid. Now as your friend I suggest we both sleep. We still have a long journey ahead." And so they did. Nadir for once did not have a nightmare, of that night where he lost everything. But instead he had a sweet simple dream, of his son at three, still healthy, playing with his cousin Asal. So small, but his laughter was music to Nadir's ears. His smile, the best sight to Nadir…"

He awoke with a large train bump, and looked down at the small child and sighed. His soft face looked relaxed, peaceful. Nadirs lips twitched up and he was able to go back to the dreams, for once unburden by memory.

The three days went by in similar manner. Sometimes Nadir would tell stories to get the boy to sleep at night. He played games and was at ginning like he had not grinned in a long time. They became close, and Nadir would often look at the young child with eyes of a protector. He felt responsible, determined to protect him, to not repeat his failure.

Finally the whistle blew, and the train slowed. They decided to jump tracks before the stop and blend into the crowd. At the station he saw a newspaper article that made his heart sink. **Demont'e Arsonist Strikes Again** the headline blared.

He had to check. Had to. Darius he knew would be with Erik, or Erik was dead already and running over would have no effect. In fact if he could have a moment at home to prepare himself that would be good. And he needed to know if he even had a home anymore.

He picked up the kid and put him on his back as he hurried down to the familiar street. He saw his apartment still standing, though the door was burnt. The strange thing was the glass broken, as no one had been inside. Maybe they broke in once just incase to check and see if someone was there? Nadir was worried, but he brushed it off. He was a paranoid man. Child holding his hand, he opened the door. Inside was still. Very still. Then with a flash and a loud crack, Nadir hit the floor, his world black.

Darius looked scared at his friend on the floor, above him was a man holding a broken wine bottle. He wanted to attack the man, but images unbidden, made him stop still. He remembered seeing a mean scary man hitting mommy, as he hid in the closet, shaking. She hit the ground just like Nadir.

The man in front of him crouched down. He was scarier than anything The boy had ever seen. His face looked like the side of a mountain, with two cruel blue eyes peering out. He grabbed his arm painfully.

He said something to him, something the boy didn't understand. Darius wanted to cry, but knew that wouldn't help. He remembered crying and the man would hit Mommy harder for it, and he was scared he would do the same to Nadir. Instead he whispered "please go away…"

Raoul cocked his head. Clearly this kid did not speak French. He slapped him out of irritation. Then with child still in his grasp, he went to the counter and quickly scrolled a message. He pinned it to the boy's shirt.

He called for the only servant he brought with him to the house. The servant whose tongue had been gouged out did not care what Raoul did. He had given up on life years ago and was just a shell of a man, to scared to take the final plunge.

He barked his order at the servant and the servant quickly took the boy out.

Darius saw the monster grab Nadir by his collar as the door closed, blocking his view. Tears ran down his cheeks, as he walked through this strange land where he understood nothing. The words ' _Papa's try their hardest to fight the shadows away…and sometimes we don't win… But we never stop. That's what your mother meant by strong'_ ran through his head. He had to be strong, no matter what shadows came.

They rode in a carriage for what seemed an eternity- although it was really five minutes. He was silent, as was the driver.

Finally he stopped and led him down an alley. And into an big fancy building, with statues of gold. They went through a back door and into an old room with a large mirror that covered the wall. The servant hit a switch on the side and the mirror opened much to the boy's surprise. He shoved him in and gestured for him to walk.

Darius took a big breath and and did so. He was terrified but refused to show it. Only friends had the privilege to his feelings. After a few yards, the man closed the door, and it was dark. So dark. The boy, now alone, began to tremble and show fear. Out of this fear, he blindly began to walk forward and yell out. "Help! Anyone! My friend he's hurt!"

Deep into the maze of tunnels a loud bell rang. Eriks eyes shot open as he shook Christines arm in alarm. She jolted up and turned on a lamp. Their eyes adjusted as Erik wrote urgently _ALARM WENT OFF, THE PASSAGE FROM THE MIRROR_

She ran out to wake the others. She came back in to get her shoes when erik weakly threw a glass to get her attention. He handed her a note _Please don't go. I don't want him to hurt you again. Stay here… Lock the door, I have a gun and some swords in the small closet. Arm yourselves, but stay with me, please._ She couldn't leave him alone. She was scared. Scared it was the man who haunted her. But more than anything, she was enraged. How dare he come here, after everything. And why? Something seemed weird about that. He never acted against his own benefit. And she knew no one would believe Erik lived so He couldn't send anyone, and to her knowledge he feared Erik, still believing him well.

She quickly armed everyone and hid behind a wall in the bathroom. They both held their breath.

The other two set off towards the breach. Asal hid behind Darius as he lit the way, sword in his other hand, she held a small pistol. Then a voice she had been missing every second since Persia reached her ears.

"SAFFY?!"

"MOM?!" At the reply Asal took off in the dark running towards the voice. When they caught up to the voice she found her son alone. She started to cry as she picked him up and swung him around. She had been so worried. Her son started to cry, he had seen so much in his tiny life.

When she pulled him back, to get a better look, she saw the big bruise in the shape of a hand forming on his small cheek. "Who did this to you? Are you ok?"

He nodded and said in a rush "A very scary looking monster attack when we went to an apartment. He hit me and put this to my shirt." The boy then pointed to the previously unnoticed letter on his shirt.

The much older Darius stooped down. His heart was beating fast for what it would say. For Nadir.

His eyes quickly scanned the page. His stomach dropped out.

"Oh, no…"

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Things are heating up, and to be honest I am just as tense as you are. Thank you all or the support, and there is much, much more to come.


	36. Chapter 36

Intense waiting finished, also I swear in another language and I have no clue how accurate it is so if the translation next to it is wrong please tell me. The enternet can only be so accurate. Ogogogogoogogogogoogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogog

Darius rushed with Asal back to the house. His heart was racing. He kept thinking over and over, 'not Nadir, not Erik, not Nadir'

Darius rushes in and yells it is them. Christine comes out worried and grows frightened looking at Darius, who is loudly exclaiming in Persian "Pedarsag ( Son of a bitch)" While Asal is still holding her son who was now sleeping in her arms on the sofa, her face a strange mix of relief and worry.

"What is wrong?!" She asked staring at the small man. He looked at her and handed her the note. Then he put his hand on her shoulder and gently guided her to a chair as she read

 _Dear Phantom Whore,_

 _Oh you little bitch. You have made a grave error. Oh I love the irony, the drama of this idiotic mistake you have made._

 _Well, you have made many mistakes, but this one, oh it takes the cake. You see, here I was, waiting peacefully for the carriage in front of me to pull along, when none other than the bane of my existance walk past with her ballet rat._

 _I couldn't help but listen. I mean afterall, you are someone very important to me. You did shape my very life and soul… Into that of a monsters. I think you like monsters Christine. I think they attract you with their disgusting looks. I mean afterall, you started my transformation._

 _And I can't thank you enough. Because it really opened my eyes to the mistake I had made. Sure it cost me, my position as Vitcom, my entire fortune, my family and friends, my own once beautiful face, but oh did it open my eyes to the bitch I had risked everything for._

 _What's funny is that night you destroyed my life, I was trying to save you! Oh father was right, I was a fool. But not anymore._

 _You see, I slipped the drug into your food, so you wouldn't wake up and see what was happening. But then that pesky mother of yours had to make a final disturbance. Oh and we had it all worked out too._

 _Father didn't like us very much. He said it defamed our line for me to love the phantoms whore. I wouldn't leave you. And he agreed I couldn't leave you. Because it would look like you turned me down over a monster, like you would return to the demon. That would ruin our name, mine especially, for years… No, you needed a reason for press to latch onto. I didn't want to do it, but I am so glad I did. You see Father threatened, no, promised that if I did not go through with his plans he would kill us both. I have seen his resources. I know he could._

 _So in order to save you I had to join him in this… publicity stunt. We would kill your mother, make it seem a tragic accident, a robbery gone wrong. And you would be so grief stricken you would have in the press eyes, decided to break off the engagement. Thus freeing us both and saving us._

 _But then of course, you nosey bitch, you woke up and went in. And then after father forced me to defile myself with your filthy body, out of his own sick amusement, you killed me. You destroyed my life. You could have left, run off, the plan still could have worked. But no. You turned me into a freak. A sideshow. A disgusting beast._

 _And I can't thank you enough. I love hating you now. I lost everything because my father couldn't have a freak son. But I could have the title of monster._

 _But the irony in all this is, you destroyed my life, and I will destroy yours. We all are monsters Christine. We just don't know it. I want us to know it. I want everyone to know it. I want us all to find our true beauty. To carve it out of ourselves. To be animals. Nadir here has already started, with my help of course._

 _Oh yes, your memory made me get side tracked, you see the most dramatic and ironic part of this, the part where you fucked yourself over, was in that carriage._

 _You said to the Meg bitch "Just what if Nadir doesn't come back, and because of that Erik dies…" And that what if my dear, will not turn in your favour…_

 _You see, you have a choice, you can come and trade yourself for the Persian or let your 'Erik' die._

 _I would come to you and kill you all in your sleep if I were a fool. But I do not know why this Persian is important and do not want to risk confronting your bastard 'angel'. Also I know that you have traps all throughout the lair. I am many things, but an idiot is not one of them. Come in one week from today to my house. There will be no funny business, and if I even catch a notion of that pesky phantom. I. Will. Kill. You. All._

 _Him for you, and then we can hate each other forever, as I show the world, the monster, IN YOU._

 _With all the hate in the world_

 _-Your demon, Raoul_

Christine let the paper slowly fall between her fingers. Every last word stung her soul. And the worst part was. He was right. She caused ALL of this. SHE put Erik in danger again, SHE put Nadir and Darius through hell. All she could do was destroy. She really was a monster.

She sat stiller than any statue. The air seemed frozen around her. Darius tried shaking her, to get her attention. But she was stuck, stuck in her own self loathing. He sighed, he knew she needed Erik.

So he gently picked her rigid form up, and carried her to the chair by their bed. Erik looked far far beyond his years, he was so terrified by Christine's silence. Darius, not wanting to see Eriks reaction, gave him the note and ran outside the room.

Erik could only see fire after reading that. He was surprised that the letter didn't burst into flames. No words could describe the hatred he held for Raoul.

Of course he felt guilty too. If only he hadn't given her up to that monster. If he had only just answered her, held on to her… But at the time, he didn't know. Didn't know he had just made the worst mistake in his tragic life.

He looked at his Fiance. She seemed dead already. He couldn't stand to see her like that. He shook her hand, nothing. Then, nothing else for it he spoke, well whispered in his destroyed voice. Although with the stress of their current situation, he knew he really didn't know how to say what he wanted.

"Erik would like to speak to his Christine now"

It was his voice that triggered it. One moment her life was frozen in a wave of shock, the next she was sitting in the bedroom chair sobbing.

"M-My fault, A-all mine"

Erik hated seeing her sad, but this made him scared. She was his only stability and to have that threatened did not bode well on his temper.

"Fault of not, what do we do. Erik is stuck. Eriks whole life is going to end and he is stuck. Erik does not want tears, he wants to scream to rip th-" but he, in his anger had spoken too much in his horse whisper and started to cough.

His words did not calm her down, but hearing his cough did make her stop crying. She held him up robotically, trying to focus for a brief second on her actions, rather than thought.

Then the brief break was gone.

"E-erik. Wha-"

But just then the door opened. Darius came in, he looked as if he had just ran to the eiffel tower and back. Behind him followed Meg and Giry.

They were out of breath as well, and meg panted "Said- you needed help. Told- told us the way- down here. What happened and" she said, her breathing calming as she walked to her friend and put her hand on her shoulder, "No one thinks its your fault, either of your faults" SHe said, remembering Christine's talk of Erik's weird guilt complex.

She looked at him and he started "How would-"

"Because I have a bit clearer head than either of you, because let's face it. You may be a genius and all, and she may be one of the greatest Sopranos to ever live, but neither of you have what I would call, a level head."

Erik glared but said nothing. He hated being wrong, and if talking wasn't so hard for him, he would have muttered under his breath. Christine wanted to believe, but couldn't. Not right now.

Christine looked at Meg with desperation "do you have any clue on how to fix this? Because I can't think, and time is not our allie… Meg, you know I can't handle…"

"I remember" she said more kindly. Christine, looked like she did that night when she ran to her house. She had known no one else and remembered Meg was nice and knew where they lived having done an errand for Giry once.

Meg paced. The usual mastermind was still not in his right mind, and the others were just as panicked or just not the best at planning. But Meg was. "Hmm" She said.

It was like a puzzle to her. Perhaps the most important puzzle of her life. How could they get Nadir out of Raoul's grasps. She was sure he'd have a gun or knife of him so the moment anyone threatened him he would kill.

Thankfully she knew the layout of the house and guessed he would probably be in the main living room. As it was dramatic, and the best lit so Erik could not hide in the shadows.

Then a thought Struck her. A crazy and yet ingenious plane, that might, just, work.

She turned to Erik and said "Erik, can you teach us in five days, how to throw our voices? Because I think I have an idea… For the Opera's best performance yet…"

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Crazy people need crazy plans.


	37. Chapter 37

I have returned

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Meg Giry was a genius. And insane.

Good thing they all were a little insane.

They began working on the plan. Erik was teaching them every moment he was awake. Christine practically had to knock him out to get him to sleep. Her and Meg were working as hard as they could to prepare for the 'performance' as they called it. Erik would instruct them in ventriquilism and the art of throwing their voices via writing. Even while ill he was, as usual, a brilliant teacher.

And while the plan was going well, Erik did not really approve of it. He made this quite clear.

" _Erik, we HAVE to. It HAS to be ME."_

 _He scribbled furriously 'NO. Christine, I can NOT lose you! I know you want to be the one, but being the one, takes you away from me!'_

" _Erik it's more than that. Asal has to stay with her son, Darius has to take on Nadir, and Meg will be helping him, and that leaves me or Madam Giry. And no offence Madam, but for this job I have a bit of a better chance than her. And she will do better than I at holding you down, because I know your temper will conquer you. And Erik. you know. I_ HAVE _to do this." She looked deep into his glowing, fuming, yellow eyes, and gave him the most determined stair she could. She knew if he could he would be in a storming rage, but after a minute of tense silence he caved. But grumbled about it every chance he got._

It was two days before their plan. Christine could not sleep from nerves. So many things could go wrong, and there still was a small chance of success due to the fact it would come down to HER. She turned in bed again, then sighed. Then there was finding out more, and ever crushing guilt, that once again, she was her own downfall...

She gave up on sleep and slowly slipped out of bed. She crept silently into the livingroom, surprised to see fire in the fireplace and Darius bent forward, cigar in mouth, elbows resting on knees. "Can't sleep?" She asked.

He looked at her, taking a puff, nodding. She sat next to him, leaning back. "Want one? You look like you need a good smoke"

He held out his cigar box but she shook her head. "Erik says it damages voices, and I honestly think he would get up and wring my neck if I even considered doing something to hurt my voice." She said with a small smile. Then she sighed, thinking about voices, damaged voices, just added to her mental load. So much guilt seem to wrap around her, and yet she could not show she was suffering because that would make everyone worry, and add to that monster of guilt, and pain.

He studied her for a moment. "You are going through more than you are letting on, I can tell."

She looked away and whispered "How can you tell?"

"Nadir. He has that same look in his eye around children and other things of his past. That is part of the reason Asal couldn't stay with us long term, because I know it would hurt Nadir…"

"You care a lot about him, don't you?" She said, her eyebrow raised

He nodded and mumbled "More than you know"

She was surprised at this, but knew Darius would not confirm her new suspicions, although even if her guess was correct she did not care. If loving Erik had taught her one thing, it was not to judge.

She sighed and stared into the dancing flames. Things had been so much easier then, when she was just Eriks student and she never was reunited with Raoul. She and Erik both often wondered what life would have been like, if Raoul had never went to the Opera. They often dreamt that Erik would have sat her down gently eventually, and explained his life, his face and mask to her, without the high tempers inspired by the victome. She knew she would have fallen in love with him inevidably, only they would never have to share such a dark history, and Erik would be at peace right now, healthy. Maybe they would be planning their wedding, or already married, not a fear in the world, Christine always there for Erik, to frighten the ghost of so many years ago, he always there, giving her wings to soar high at the Opera, letting her spirit shine brightly through…

She shook her head. Those were just now unattainable fantasies. Now they were forever marred, by her mistakes. That is what caused this, her mistakes with Raoul.

Darius thought long and hard and finally said, breaking the silence. "You know, Erik has a lot on his mind, and always has, have you asked him how to handle that?"

She nodded "He said he usually composed or played, and thought of me to get by…"

"Well then, why don't you sing? You are after all, the best Opera singer to ever take the stage, trained as you are by Erik."

"Sing? In a time like this?" She said in surprise.

"Yeah, just, sing what's on your mind. They are asleep with medication, so long as you don't shatter glass I think the others wont mind."

She thought for a moment. She hadn't tried it, and was desperate for some kind of release, selfish as it was, and with things so tense and the deadline so near maybe it would be good to take a mental break. "I'll try it."

"You want me to go?" He asked.

"No" She smiled with a bit more energy. "I always like some kind of audience."

He smirked at the bit of life showing in her as of late dead voice. She looked at the wall.

Sing my thoughts? Admittedly the idea was a bit awkward to do, but she wanted to try. Sing my thoughts…

' _My thoughts,_

 _My thoughts.._

 _Thoughts of guilt rage on…_

 _How I wish, they could be gone at dawn…_

 _A simple switch, and my sins, wiped away_

 _Betray, thats what I did, That's my sin, I betrayed…. The one I loved._

 _The one I wished were gone_

 _The wish that seems to be granted, as I am a flame, and all are drawn_

 _I bath them in the heat of destruction._

 _It seems to be my only function._

 _My thoughts_

 _My thoughts_

 _They are the danger._

 _All they have caused is pain._

 _One moment of the amber flame_

 _One choice, one thought_

 _And now a war is to be fought_

 _And what for? My mistakes, my swaying heart?_

 _Why must my thoughts be this way?_

 _So easy and trusting?_

 _So devilish in easy loathing._

 _My thoughts_

 _My thoughts_

 _Has turned a man into a monster… Has made an angel lose his voice, his very wings of god…_

 _How I wish I could fly away, turn back the clock to that fateful day._

 _Turn my head the other way, and never met him_

 _Never have my thoughts burn them_

 _Burn them all._

 _My thoughts._

 _My Thhouuughhtss…_

She finished singing, her eyes shut and arms outstretched facing the fire. Darius thought it was one of the most beautiful performances she had ever given and it took him a minute to think of what to say. She felt for a brief shining moment in her mind that she was just performing, the feel of the light on her, the sound of echoing applause. Then it was gone, and her dark world returned. But she did feel lighter than she had of late.

"That was beautiful" said not Darius but Meg who had forgotten her purse there from the days practice. Christine blushed and Meg ran up to her and hugged her. She whispered "You know, it's not your fault." Christine answered aloud "Meg, it is entirely my fault."

That is when Darius cut in "Meg, Christine, sit please." he gestured to the living room furniture. They followed his request.

He turned a sharp eye on Christine. "Christine. Why do you feel so guilty?"

She blushed and whispered "Because it was my choice of loving Raoul that caused this, it was be attacking him that turned him into a monster…"

"Christine, neither of those are your fault. Firstly attacking is not the right word, defending yourself are the right words. You had no idea why he was doing it and what he did was not love, but hate. I don't care what excuses he gave in that note. Never blame yourself for that night. That night he showed you something that leads me to my second point. Christine, he never really loved you. Rather he loved the idea of possessing you, like a trophy. He may not of even realized that is why he cared for you but I did the moment I heard about the situation.

But I do not think he ever saw you as his equal or higher. That is where he and Eriks love are different. Erik views you as a goddess. His angel. Raoul veiws you as a prize to be won. Notice how in all of your vulnerable moments he never really asked what you wanted, or how you felt about Erik? No, everytime you even mentioend Erik he never gave you a chance to veiw him as anything but a monster. He never listened to you. He wanted to cage you after your marriage I know. I highly doubted he would even listen to the idea of you remaining as an opera singer with that title.

Erik was different. When he wasn't having a breakdown from stress and memories he always let you choose, encouraged your dreams and passions, let you speak your mind if you wanted. Sure when he was scared of losing you he would sway you, but even then he let you choose. Even after driving him mad, taking off his mask, which you know is extremely traumatic for him, after all the love of his life was touching something that had completely destroyed his life many times. And when he first forbade you from leaving, he eventually calmed enough for you to leave. Even after Don Juan once he got some scrap of love he was able to snap back to himself long enough to give you a choice. The mere idea you kissed him was enough to make him be happy, truly happy, for one moment in his life. I do not think you realize how rare those moments are to him. And so he gave you a choice to go with another man who made you happy so he thought, because he loved you and wanted you happy. Even when that man kept attacking your friendship. And even more dramatically, that man was trying to kill him on top of it all.

But Raoul is different. He could never value you like that. He never gave you choices. Even if you went willingly, like when you went to Erik in the graveyard, he would attack it and swoop you away. What he loved was the idea of being a hero, and as he saw Erik as a monster he saw a way to earn that title. When his father suggested this… Vile plan, Erik would have killed him, or kept you safe, he would have found a way. That is what people who are in love do, they find a way.

And Raoul who really loved himself more than anything found a way to keep himself and his title of hero safe, or so he thought. The moment you destroyed his face, you destroyed him. Because he lost his beloved title of handsome and hero at once. He showed he really loved those words, those ideas, more than a person, one he had claimed to want to marry. So Raoul never really showed you love, not true love anyways, not like Erik.

The reason I am saying this is because you should not feel guilty. Raoul never really gave you a choice in the first place. He never even let you choose between you and Erik. He was always tainting and halting your relationship. And you were vulnerable in all of this, and he prayed on that. He made you more helpless than you were. It is not your fault, but his."

She took a minute to absorb all of this. She was glad meg was next to her, she felt better having her best friend there. Slowly she said "I think you are right, logically yes, it isn't. But Emotionally, I think it will be a while for the guilt to fade, especially when I have to see the one I love pay for all of this everyday. Darius, I agree, but I am still haunted. Everytime I look into his eyes, I see his restless soul behind them. He wishes so bad to be moving… S-singing… God I know, I know it is Raoul's fault, but I can't help the guilt in my chest every time I think about how Erik might never sing again because of it. God… It might have destroyed one of the worlds greatest gifts without the world knowing…"

Christine paused as she noticed meg smirking. "What?"

"You started to say it instead of me." Meg chimmed. This was progress Meg was sure. Christine was taken aback. Meg was right. "You know Christine, maybe there is some hope that this guilt will vanish after all… and if there is hope for that, well, I then I have hope we will actually win."

Christine's heart seem to twitch with that word, hope. Maybe so…

After a few more words Meg returned to the Opera house and Christine felt tired enough to go to bed.

When she walked in Erik was asleep, but a note laid in her spot.

 _As it is me you feel guilty about mainly, I thought you should know, they are right. You really shouldn't be. If you want to blame it on something blame it on me trying to be hospitable for once and attempting to make the spoiled tea. Also you should sing your thoughts more often. I rarely can get that much passion out of you when we practice. Hell the only gripe I had as your teacher was that I couldn't hear your vibrato as well through the wall, which I know if you were singing on stage you would have done it loud enough to where I could have heard._

 _Also more importantly, you sounded much more relaxed after the singing and talk with them than you have been in weeks. And while I can not deny my own fear… That.. That Erik will never sing again, and I am more of a pessimist that Meg Giry, but despite this I will have you know that I have performed that Nadir might have mentioned to fix my voice after all of this, and while it is incredibly difficult, it IS possible._

 _I myself have performed it on five patients. One of them going on to be a singer himself actually, and he was actually much better after the operation. And while I am not really in FAVOUR of surgery, and would love to wait as long as possible to see if my voice will return, I am saying there is… h-hope, it will. And even if something happens, if Darius or Nadir or who ever hand slips and severs my chords forever, I will still be a happier man than any other. Because I have you. So please, for me, do not be guilty. Regardless of how you got here, you are still here, by my side, and that is all I ever wanted. That is my happiness._

 _-Love, Erik_

 _P.S. If one does have to do surgery, and they do slip… I will not be the only one in pain._

She smirked at the last line. That was a side of Erik she had not seen in a long time. It was that side that pranked the opera staff constantly and, after she found out the culprit was just a thin lanky man with a strange face and a stranger imagination, she found his pranks much more amusing. Maybe they were right. Regardless, even the chance of them all being right gave her enough peace of mind to continue their work, and enough peace, to finally fall asleep.

Erik wrapped his arm tighter around Christine. His eyes staring at the ceiling. 'His happiness…' and what he hadn't said kept going through his mind. 'His happiness, that will probably be taken away…

By a monster.'

He shuddered. Ever since Christine had decided to take her role in the plan that one thought kept running through his head, turning his stomach. He looked at her, his angel, so beautiful even in the near dark. He could see her only because he was so used to the dark. Her curled hair sprawled around her, youthful cheeks, soft lips that would say such beautiful things to him…

'Taken away…'

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Things are getting close and everyone can feel it. Also I want to say this is mixed some with musical logic so in very big moments I do plan to have some singing. Sometimes justified sometimes not. When some people can return more music will follow (you'll see what I mean)


	38. Chapter 38

OOOO SHIT GOIN DOWN TIME

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They all looked at each other. Asal held in her hand tightly on the pitcher that held the sleep tonic for all of them. They NEEDED a good nights rest before this. Christine held Eriks hand tightly.

Asal would stay awake, as she couldn't do much in there plot, not speaking French and having a small child to protect. She would administer Eriks medicine while they all slept. She calmly poured there drink, the liquid pouring through like time, fast and freely flowing with no real control. Each cup filled. Darius looked into the black liquid, then at all of them.

He held up his glass and with sarcastic enthusiasm said "Cheers" and chugged back his own medicine. They all followed silently. Then, with a final nod, all hurried to there rooms so they didn't passout in Eriks room.

Christine drew the covers closer as she held fast to Eriks arm. To say she was scared this might be the last time she sees him, was an understatement. Out of desperation she said into the dim room "Erik, I love you. I really do."

He whispered in what little voice he had "I love you too Christine. Always have, always will." She smiled a bit at that and curled closer and fell quickly asleep.

Morning came too soon. That is all Christine could think as she began to apply and do the hours worth of makeup to Meg's face. Non of this would work if not for Eriks old recipe that when mixed with make up, helped hold it on. He had been trying to get management to use it for years, but out of spite they never did. It was a long process, with many layers and mistakes. Erik sat up in his bed observing, making sure every detail was as close as possible. He had a lot of practice, when trying and failing to hide or lessen the hideousness of his face.

The girls were silent as Erik occasionally whispered critiques while wincing and coughing. Three hours later They had finished.

Christine blinked in weird surprise as what seemed to be her reflection moved independently and said "god this IS freaky."

Christine stood and went to the lone mirror and saw Meg Giry looking back. The wigs they used were positioned just right to hide the fact her face were somewhat longer than the real Meg Giry. It wasn't perfect. The lips weren't quite the same and the eye brows were slightly longer than hers but for what they were planning this was perfect. She took a breath

 _This was truly the biggest performance of her life_

"Ready?" She asked throwing up the hood on her robe. Meg nodded and she turned to Darius who was coming out of the bathroom, pall and worried. "The horses ready?" He too nodded and they went out. Giry began to strap Erik to his bed. Regardless off his pleading they all knew it was going to be the only way to stop him from trying to go after them.

Christine gave him one last kiss, filled with more meaning than words or even music can describe. They looked into eachothers eyes and then did the second hardest thing she has ever done, and turned away from him, to be with Raoul.

It felt like she was watching someone walk to the horses rather than doing so herself. There near the mouth of a tunnel that was large enough for them to exit and enter through the tunnel connected to an abandoned textile factory on the outskirts of town. Meg, looking like Christine took Caesar, as it seemed to help somewhat boost the idea she was Christine. Christine took the bigger and stronger horse that could easily and quickly take Nadir and herself away.

Meg with sudden excited adrenaline asked Darius "Trap door set?"

"Trap door set, tunel open."

"Alright" She said grabbing her reigns "Let's take down this bastard" Then she started there journey to the Devil's lair. They hurried through the streets, taking back roads so to avoid people and be able to gain speed. Christine leaned close to the head of her horse as with each fast trot she rose and fell. She was glad her father had taken her riding in Sweden.

Then a random question came to mind, and wishing to focus on something besides silence she asked "Hey, how do you know how to ride a horse?"

She laughed with adrenaline of up coming danger and said "They kept me company as a small child while mom worked. They are used to load things and such, not many people see them though"

Christine shook her head and asked smiling now "With how much you explored I'm surprised you never stumbled across Erik or his secrets."

"Oh but I did, many times. But as a small child I always thought he was a dream or an actor for a random performance, especially since I only saw him on places like the cat walk or back stage, so I never asked questions. It wasn't until I was much older that I learned and as I used to think he was a malevolent spirit I never sought him out. And I once came across a trap door down but never got a chance to venture down. It's because of him and me trying to find his trap doors that I knew he must have to go and come so silently that has made me love puzzles now you see."

Christine shook her head. Erik always had a strange way of inspiring children. Then there horses slowed.

There were here. Two guards stood out front. They glared at them as they dismounted. Christine trailed behind Meg as they entered. Every possible entrance and shadow was lit and had guards next to it. Meg absentmindedly thought about how it must've taken every last penny Raoul had to buy them all. It was clear he was not taking chances of the silent dark Opera ghost interfering.

Finally they came to the brightest room of the house, his ballroom. Christine shuddered. To think they had danced here… That seemed a lifetime ago, in a dream that turned to nightmare. Everything was distorted. The tables were broken and smashed against the wall, smashed bottles littered the wooden floors which once shone with bright happy faces. They seemed to be more common near the ruined picture on the wall. She flinched for a second at what was there and what used to be there. Then she remembered, she was Meg, and Christine. That was her role.

Raoul stood in the middle on the room, holding Nadir by the scruff of his collar. He was bloodied and barely conscious. His eyes were black and he had nasty cuts, gouges, and bruises all over his body. But he was nothing compared to the beast holding him.

If Christine had to describe Raouls faces she would say it was simply the face of the _devil._

Where there was once smooth young cheeks there was now a vast mountainous landscape of gleaming bone, dried rivers of blood and cliff faces of skin and flesh. Where his hair was once carefully groomed back it now sprung forward with random patches longer than others. His fingernails were what truly got to Christine. Dried blood and flesh were encrusted under the nails.

He'd been clawing off his own face. Meg looked down as Raoul angrily spat "What is the Giry Bitch doing here?"

Relief flooded Christine as she said her first line in the final act of this Hellish play. Throwing her voice and making sure her lips moved as little as possible, "Someone needed to take him home."

And Meg to add to the authenticity of the act pointed to Nadir. Raoul laughed and said waving around the injured man, smiling at his scream of pain.

 _Oh my is someone nervous_

 _To see_

 _To hear_

 _The monster speak_

 _The truth_

 _Of the secret you keep?_

He sang this mockingly, with an almost carnival like voice.

 _I keep no secret_

 _She knows of your sins_

 _And yet_

 _She is here_

 _More loyal than you ever were._

Meg kept looking around to hide any mouthing discrepancies and Christine sang back. Raoul seemed annoyed and beckoned Meg closer. Christine followed. She kept forcing herself to think 'You are acting. You are acting' and in a way, the singing helped her believe that. She was sort of grateful for his mock.

They drew closer and with one motion Raoul threw Nadir hard and far to Christine as he snatched Meg, resembling a wild animal desperately grabbing away food the moment it became available. Christine quickly grabbed him and hurried him away, they would only have a few minutes before Raoul would realize their plan. She had just thrown Nadir, who was much lighter than he should be, on the back of the horse and was starting to hurry away when she heard the tale tale scream of fury from the house.

Inside moments before, he pulled back what he believed Christine and said "Kiss me, kiss me bitch. I want to show you, you're MINE" And Meg was desperately looking away and turning her head to deny him. She was trying to buy them as much time as possible. "Look at your mistakes, your creation, why am I not as beautiful as you remembered?" Getting irritated he threw her hard against the floor. She could feel her shoulder crack as she screamed out in pain. Her wig fell off as Raoul caught on. He went over and grabbed her by the small ballerinas neck, lifting her up slapping the makeup off her face.

Meg, her cover blown began to struggle. First at his hand and then she remembered a small trick her father taught her before she died and started to choke him. He stopped but grabbed her hard by an arm. The same arm connected to her broken shoulder. If it weren't for the danger she would have fainted from the white blinding pain it brought her.

"Wait!" She managed to gasp out. "Wait, please please, I'll, I'll tell you where they are" She sobbed. Although not from guilt of betrayal but from pain. Mostly because there was no betrayal.

Raoul eyed her but realizing that time was running out and his time to catch up to them grew smaller. He held a knife to her throat and said harshly, almost growling "If you are lying to me, you will regret it." She nodded as he threw her over his shoulder. He ran over to a sword he had been using to torture Nadir and they left the house.

He ran out and jumped on the black horse. Putting her in front of him, so he could easily kill her at the smallest sign of lying. The pointed with her one good arm, in too much pain to even puke. He set off. Each gallop was excruciating, not only to Meg but to Christine as well.

She began to hear the pursuit and she knew with each hoof fall the end was nearing. Up ahead was the tunnel. She egged the horse on and they blew through the entrance and she went deep into the tunnel. Where it opened up to the maze of hand carved passages that in no way could fit a horse she pulled to the side and found Darius. He picked up his now unconscious friend, and both ran as fast as possible down a short cut in the maze, making sure to hit the lever to hide the secondary entrance. Darius took him to the small tool shed Christine had once ran to after her and Erik's fight. Asal held her small child closely. They were safe there. Christine nodded as she took off to the house. She knew the fight was coming, and wanted to have the home field advantage and not have one of Erik's many traps turn against her some how.

Meg stumbled forward into the tunnel. She was leading him on the longer path down to the house. It was dark and she was vibrating. She had never been in such pain. Lightning ran through her veins. She began to lose consciousness.

Only a little further.

The loose stone that acted as a pressure plate was in sight.

Black swam around her vision.

With one final attempt, crawling now, she stretched out her hand and the world faded away…

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More to come


	39. Chapter 39

Here we go

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Raoul's scream of frustration could be heard all the way down to the house. Christine was wiping her face clean when she heard the sign, the sign he was coming closer. Meg fell through the pit and the floor completely swallowed her. Now he was alone. He ran along after that. Not inhibited by the blond clutz. He was more furious than he had ever been in his life. He ran with an almost animalistic motion. His arm swinging forward to give more pendular propulsion and his legs running in a strange fast gallop. Near the mouth of the tunnel he hit a trap and spikes swung forward from the wall, completely shredding and piercing the entire left side of his body. Red ruby streams started running down the soulless being.

He didn't even stop. He was to obsessed on catching her. On killing his killer. Finally he reached the house, breaking down the front door with one kick, even though Christine had left it open. She was waiting for him, sword in hand. And there they stood. Face to face, eye to eye.

This was it.

They circled each other, like two cats about to pounce any moment.

Then. one pause. A silent agreement. And then both of them experience hatred as they had never experienced it. It shot through them, a shared current. A shared hurt. A shared insanity.

Both lunged forward. Metal clashing against metal. An insane passion took hold as they began to sing as they fought.

C: _I trusted you_

 _R:I saved you_

 _C:And you put me in endless pain_

 _CR: And I died that dayy_

There swords clashed violently. Christine fought without thought. Only anger.

 _C: And I hate you_

She spun and almost hit his back.

 _R: I loved you_

 _C: I despise you_

 _R: But you showed me that day_

 _C: You showed me you're the monster_

 _R: You made me that way,_

 _CR: On that fateful day_

 _R: ANd I HAte you_

He lunged for her throat and she bent far back to avoid it. Close, so close.

 _R: That day you broke my heart_

 _C: You took away everything that daayy_

 _R: BEcause of you I lost my life that day_

 _C:My life was stolen_

 _R: Taken._

 _CR: ANd BECAAUUse of THHiss, I. HHATTe. YYOuuuuu._

Something told Christine that on that final note she would not win. But the strange thing, about taking hold of one's own life, of finally taking responsibility, of fighting your monsters, you don't care which way the outcome ends really. Long as you know, you tried. In your final moments you didn't take it lying down.

Then as Christine turned to try and pierce his shoulder, her predictions came true. His sword entered her side, its flaming pain licking her side. She stumbled. But out of a desperate spite refused to fall. It was in that pause that she saw something.

She saw hope.

She saw hope in the shape of a small cat.

In the shape of a small cat on top of the closest bookshelf behind the enemies head, who was angrily hissing and pawing the air in the direction of Raoul. She must've ran up there when he came in.

She smiled as with one last effort, she shoved him as hard as she could into the book case. Athena leaped onto his mangled face and clawed and bit, knocking him down with the books that began to fill the floor, their white pure pages being stained with the blood they described. She reached down and stole his weapon and put stood over him. He threw Athena off and she ran of fast. He glared up at her.

The room was silent.

She cocked her head, as a cold cruel smile lit her lips. No one had ever seen that smile on Christine before. Every inch of her body burned with a wrath god could not match. Wrath for the man lying beneath her.

Seconds dragged out for an eternity.

Then with one swoop she drove the long sword into the middle of his chest. She put all of her weight, all of the fire that seared almost white with its intensity, Her soul heard the crack of his bones and her sword land its mark in the floor under him. It was a beautiful Aria to her soul.

She looked into his bright cold eyes and said

"I couldn't break your heart, you never had one."

And with that. His life.

Fled his eyes.

Their performance. Was done.

Christine stepped back, leaving the sword firmly sticking out of the deformed carcass. Then the blood lose seeping from her side took hold, she fell to her knees, and with one last attempt she cried out "Madam Gir-" and then her world too, faded. To. Black...

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That was intense.

I swear there is wwaaayyy more to come. This story is FAR from done.


	40. Chapter 40

As promised, more to come

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Erik had been through many things. Many types of heartbreak, types of torture, physical as well as mental scarring of many kinds. He knew pain well. But this. This was different. This made all of those gentle kisses from the universe.

It was the sound his well trained ears picked up.

The sound of silence.

He had heard Raoul, whose footsteps and attacks were heavier than his angels. His sword would clang louder against her own. But then he heard that same heavy movement, same heavy sound, and the sound of blood. The same sound a butcher makes when he begins his work on his murdered victim.

In that moment, Erik learnt what _true_ pain was.

He could not and had not known what his body was doing. Giry watched on as Erik screamed and screamed, his broken soul leaking through his destroyed throat, only to be stopped by a thick gage Giry had to put on him the moment Christine had left. She knew this would happen. His ankle was purple and splayed at an awkward angle from his restraints, he had been struggling since the fight began. His right hand was in a similar state. But it was his eyes. Giry could not fathom what pain they held, it made her stomach turn.

She wanted to help him, but couldn't. No words she said could comfort him as the one he loved more than anything, the only thing in the world he cared for, sacrificed herself for them all.

Erik seem to feel that indescribable pain for an eternity.

But then, then a ray of hope seem to reach him in his hell. He grabbed on as he heard A much smaller person continue to fight. There was a loud thump, a much heavier person had fallen, Erik could hear, his ear straining the sound of claws ripping flesh then his heart skipped a beat, as he heard.

Christine.

Before the final moment of their plight he heard her speak in a voice he had never heard before, and hoped he never would again. It was the voice, the sound, of the truest hate.

" _I couldn't break your heart, you never had one."_

Then he heard bones crushing, and the floor be struck by the cruel metal that in one moment was justice for her pain. For their pain.

Erik swore he heard Raoul's soul leave their presence forever. Then after a pause, he heard Christine cry out, and thankfully so did Madam Giry. Then he heard her sickening fall.

Madam Giry rushed out as Erik lay in agonizing anticipation. She rushed back in. Eriks eyes went wide as he saw the red dripping to the floor from her waist.

Giry, clearly out of her field, needed Eriks help. She rushed to untie him and then went to undress Christine. Erik didn't even look up at her now exposed chest. He didn't want to. Not like this. His eyes were fixated on the wound in her side.

Madam Giry grabbed a blanket and covered the upper part of her chest, out of respect. Then she began to get rags and water, as blood trickled down her right side. Erik was not blinking. His body was numb.

Then Madam giry began to clean the wound. This seemed to snap Erik out of it. She needed him to focus. He looked at his swollen wrist and cursed. At least he was left handed. He didn't even care about the pain anymore. It was just like when he was a child, but the stakes were much higher. He grabbed the needle Giry brought.

She looked like she wanted to argue, but something in his eyes, she couldn't. Erik looked at the wound and grabbed a rag soaked in whiskey and dabbed the wound. He could see her bottom rib, it was cracked. A few stray chips thankfully were on the outside of her ribs, rather than facing towards the lung. Erik whispered for Giry to hold back her skin so he could use his one hand to pick out the fragments. No organs seemed to be pierced which was a great relief to Erik. He took the rag and wiped quickly the wound once more. Then with the help of Giry holding her skin together he sewed her wound close with well practiced precision. Now they faced two problems. Would she die from blood loss which judging by her clothes and sheets was completely plausible, and if not, would bone fever kill her?

Erik felt her wrist. Her pulse was faint. "Shit" he said. Then closed his eyes. He was never really religious but right now, he prayed this would work. That they were compatible.

Then he told Giry to get a box he hoped he'd never need again in his life. It was his old kit he used as a child for surgeries. She returned and placed it on his lap. He opened it with one hand and barely noticed his old mask, too small now, as it was made for a child. In there was a clear glass bottle, and a two thin rubber tubes. He had a custom filter that only allowed blood to flow one way through the bottle. On the end of each tube was a thick needle.

He wiped the needles off and instructed Giry what to do. She paused and asked "Won't you infect her?"

He replied impatiently with his hoarse voice "No, The medication I have now killed the bacteria on the first week when we were transitioning from incense to liquid. Combining the two kills it. What is left of it is actual small dying growths in my muscle tissue. This shouldn't hurt her. Now for fucks sake help me" He finished with urgency. Very rarely had he ever cursed the woman but his temper was high. She didn't notice as she rushed to help him tie tight his arm and stick them both in a vein. She positioned the bottle facing down and held it. Soon blood began to flow through Erik to the bottle, then to Christine. His heart was pounding. Once the blood reached Christine he held his breath.

1

2

3

4

5

6

His heart felt like it would explode.

7

8

9

10

Once he reached the number his left hand flew to her wrist. For some reason some people could accept blood, and others couldn't. It was always a gamble and with no time to test if they were Erik had more fear in him than he ever had in that past hour, in those ten seconds. Fear that he killed her.

He felt and felt. Nothing. Not-

Wait. a slight thump. Growing… stronger.

He sighed in relief. They were, by some miracle, compatible. He leaned back, exhausted. Everything he had been suppressing, everything his body had just went through came flooding back. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the blood slowly leave him. His already bone pale skin seemed to become borderline transparent. He whispered for Giry to pull out the needle and wrap his injection site in fifteen minutes. Then exhaustion sunk into his frail, damaged body. Pain seem to sap energy from him. He wanted to fight it. To stay awake just in case she woke. But knew that would not help them. So he too faded to black.

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With Raoul gone, their troubles should be fixed, right? Right?

More to come


	41. Chapter 41

Time to relieve the tension

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Leaves, that's what she heard. Faint at first, but then louder. She was ten, in Sweden. She looked up and the trees, gold and red all around her. All the riches in the world, gold bars and rubies piled as high as the sky, could not look as beautiful.

The leaves were singing almost inaudible to her. Swirling in a dance. She listened, she wanted to know. At first they were a choir, then slowly they turned cold. Like they were singing about loss, longing. It broke her heart. Her heart yearned to help them. The voices in the trees. Their never ending restless song.

The ache grew in her heart. It spread. Slowly but the longer she listened the faster it became. Her whole body, but especially her side and chest. Then slowly she realized the leaves weren't speaking, but people.

It was Eriks voice, hollow like leaves. "She is so warm…" Christine groaned slightly. Her body was stiff and sore. She opened her eyes and the world seemed to be under water. The edges of her field of view bent and warped. She looked next to her and jumped. Eriks face was warping and turning into other shapes. Normally she knew Eriks face brought comfort, but her eyes were changing him further than any actual deformation could. The skin seemed to dance. Her heart rate increased and she inhaled sharply then moaned loudly.

She was confused. So many memories swam before her and she knew them but they didn't make sense. Nothing made sense.

Giry stood next to her and she looked at her, a frightened look into her eyes. She felt calmer looking at her. The motherly figure pushed her back down. She had tried to rise when she woke. Then she gave Christine a glass of water. Christine thought the water was a flood on a fire in her throat. She looked up, half asleep already. She was so tired. So confused.

"What- what happened?" Her voice which was usually so clear, was hoarse and muffled through her full ears.

"When you broke your ribs fighting Raoul you broke your ribs and got a nasty wound in your side. Erik had to sew it close and give you blood."

My heart broke sightly. I tried to form a sentence. "Erik, hurt be-c me?"

Giry paused trying to figure out what she said but it wasn't she who replied. "I barely felt a thing" He said quietly.

She turned to him. His face was swimming but she was prepared for it now. She was scared, she never felt so… weird? Strange? Like she was floating yet weighed down by an entire planet's gravity. "Why.. feel. Weird? Your face is channg" Even past the obvious issues with her vision she saw under it he had not been doing well. He was paler, his dark circles were now black, his cheekbones oh so prominent were red like he had been crying. She was worried for him, but she was scared. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to be safe, feel safe.

He looked at her sadly. "Bone fever, exhaustion, trauma. Your body has been through it all, and you are probably seeing things. And will. Your fever is so high… I am surprise your awake" He winced. He had been coughing and sobbing most of last night and he was only talking because he knew she was in no state to read and he was in no state to write.

She blinked to try to understand and then answered his implied question "The trees.. Told me to wake." For some reason this seemed to scare him. He shared a glance with Giry. Her vision was blurring and darkening around the edges.

Suddenly she remembered how she got herself in this position in the first place. She wanted to know. She knew she needed to know. Her body was beginning to hurt more and more and she knew soon she needed to sleep or go through that pain. "Everyone. Ok?"

She was pleased she said a full sentence. Erik seemed to take a bit of comfort in this too. Giry answered quickly "You passed out three days ago. Meg is in the bed in the corner. She broke her shoulder and was lucky enough to avoid much of the fever you have. Erik thinks part of this is due to stress in your case. We put all of you in the living room so we could care for you all better. Nadir has some infection and broken bones but he too is healing. He has woken a few times and is not much different from the state you're in now. We got the antidote from his pocket. Thankfully Raoul never bothered to take his clothes. Everyone else is ok. We just need to have your fevers under control…"

Christine seemed ok with that. They'd be ok. She blinked and leaned back. She could not see much of the room, the only light was a candle on the mantle. She stared at the flame, at the flickering shadows. Her eyes grew wide. Something was in the shadow. She started to cry, her eyes fixated on the man hiding from her sight, ready to hurt them all. She blinked unconsciously and then he was closer. Shadow hands reaching for her, and soon she was surrounded. Black hands. Hands of fate. She began to fight them. Soon a voice, a hand that was white, bone white, not black grabbed hers.

She heard a calm but firm voice whisper. " Christine, it's not real. It's no real I promise. Look at me. Look into my eyes." She did so, hands burning her body. SHe began to scream but stopped, muffled her cries on seeing two small yellow suns. Yellow, like fall leaves. Safe. He began to stroke her hand and continued to whisper " Oh how I wish I could sing you to sleep my angel. To fix everything… I love you Christine. That is real. Me holding your hand, seeing your eyes, that is real" She trusted him and the figures, that crowded them vanished as quickly they came. She couldn't last much longer. Erik saw this and said something to Giry, something she couldn't hear. Her ears felt so muffled. She felt like she was sinking and his hand was all that kept her hand above water. Those eyes the sun above that told her where to go, where to swim to as not to go further away from the light.

Giry nodded Christine thought at least. She wasn't sure of anything. Her father smiled at her behind Erik. He picked up his violin, flickering and waving and began to play the violin. It rang clear in the silence around her. Then in a second Giry was turning her head. She jumped at the touch of her hand on her chin, comforted by her fathers soft melodies that meant it was ok. Eriks hand, thin and cool in her warm soft hand. Giry poured warm liquid down her throat and gently laid her down. The pillows sounded like earthquakes. Her eyes seemed to fall with the earth. And soon she felt in dreamless sleep.

Giry looked at Eriks pained face, pained she knew, was not caused by his throat. "She woke for the first time in three days. She is going to be ok."

"Will she be? How can we be sure… Three days of high fever… its a miracle that…"

"We WILL lower her temperature, she will be fine"

"Yeah we will lower it either way I suppose… Bodies get cold when" Then he broke out into painful gut wrenching sobs. This was all too much. Her on the brink, he himself still ill, still helpless, everything fighting them. Bone fever mixed with trauma like she had and exhaustion could cause people to die, to hallucinate, to go through hell. He knew this _ALL_ too well. He hated this. Feeling so weak. Not being able to save her.

Giry put a soft hand on his shoulder. He was so tired she knew. "Erik, we have made it this far and Nadir who was just as bad if not worse has started to heal. She just needs time."

He just leaned against her hand. It felt weird but natural. He wasn't used to having a mothers love. But he accepted it willingly. He was a small child. Erik was a small child. "Erik is scared he will lose her… She was hallucinating badly. That is not good. Not good at all." Even speaking like he was his sobs continued. He was in unimaginable pain, his stomach was turning and his throat burned with each sob. Suddenly he couldn't control his stomach and became sick on the floor next to the bed. Giry just rubbed his back soothingly. She felt so sorry for Erik in many ways. The fear of being alone was one of the darkest fears that hurt the soul to its core. Never having a mothers love, she felt bad. She wanted to give him that. Give him something to ease the pain.

She went to clean it up and Erik was having a panic attack. He always did when he threw up. As a child he would be beaten when he did and it always scared him when he did puke that someone would yell or hit him. But no one did. He calmed slightly and leaned back. He wanted peace, but peace still seemed as far away as it had always been. Far away as the most impossible dream. It was a dream. A distant dream.

She came back and changed her rags after doing her rounds and resumed her night post next to him. She looked at him and smiled softly "If I didn't feel like I would offend the worlds greatest musical genius I would offer to sing you to sleep."

"I am not a child…" He said. Though he knew it was a lie.

"Sometimes… I think you are. You are the child that was never allowed to grow. I mean, has anyone ever actually… Mothered you? Like have someone you feel you can to… A safe person to try to listen to?"

"I'm sure you can guess the answer to that" he said feeling unsure.

"I thought so… You know… I could sing or read to you?"

Erik was going to reject her offer but pain seemed to sear his body with another vicious coughing fit. His muscles were so weak. He just wanted sleep. A distraction. He grimaced, he hated how this just seemed to emphasize his helplessness. But something in his gut, probably his stomach trying not to puke again, told him to say yes, to try. "Story…"

Her eyebrows went up. She had bet on his rejection. That is when she knew how he must have felt even worse than he showed. Hmm. Story.. "Well… I have a pretty funny and sweet one about Meg as a child. Would you wish to hear?" He nodded, trying to avoid opening his mouth and let the air pass his lips, like salt poured down his throat, into his veins.

She smiled "Well one time she…" And Erik for a brief moment was able to focus on something besides pain or stress, and was able to slip slowly back to a well needed rest. Listening to a mother's voice.

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So I would like to say Bone fever is a thing and it acts JUST like this at times. I speak from experience. For those who have never had it basically what causes it (to my knowledge) is basically this. Our blood forms in our bones. Tiny little vessels go all throughout and when you break it and have a wound like she has it can cause severe fever. Not everytime, but it can. I have had many breaks and pains in my life and the second time I broke my arm I got it for a week straight. How she saw everything was exactly how you see everything. I remember looking up at my great grandmother and hallucinating a water droplet causing water ripples above her face as she read me stories. You feel like your body weighs a ton when you move but when you're still you feel like your head is floating. And while I never had a gaping wound I did have an unknown to anyone, torn stomach lining that was slowly leaking acid onto my exposed organ so I think that is pretty close. Add in the fact they live in a time before fever pills were really a big thing, and pain pills were not a big commodity either I assume her bones and body trying to heal would cause more pain hallucinations, then throw in trauma and you get this. And them living in a time were prolonged fevers can spell doom, no wonder Erik is so scared. Also all of his stuff, his symptoms physically, they also are reaallllyy possible. My father last year was in a similar if not worse state. Touch and go, even when he began to heal it felt like such an uphill battle, muscles failing, coughing for what feels like forever, infact my dad began to have panic attacks when he felt coughs coming, and that did NOT help. He did not break his ribs but they said they were surprised he didn't because that was common with what he went through. He would get frustrated too like erik. His voice sounded like dead fall leaves and could barely be heard. We had to set up baby monitors to tell when he needed us. And it lasts for ever. Took four months with MODERN medicine. And he is _still_ having side effects from the damage it caused. In fact he has to go back to the hospital tomorrow for it. In less than five hours to be exact. So if you were wondering why Erik is still so ill, just know he was on the brink of death and this is honestly how long it would take with the levels of severity he had. Plus stressing about your fiences rapist killing her doesn't help. And yes once or twice it got so bad dad could not talk and had to write, like Erik at his worst. He is doing a lot better now as I said, but I just wanted to explain in case you were wondering why he is still so ill, and how it is possible, because until last year I couldn't believe how sick people could get and I wanted to sort of explain better what is wrong with Christine. And on this note I have to thank you readers. Your support has helped me a lot this past year. It gave me the will to keep writing this story which sometimes was my only escape while this and other things were going on. You have helped me in so many ways by just reading this. By showing support and getting involved with the characters. I am not good with thank yous but, I have to say, thank you all, so much.

And yes as usual, more is to come.


	42. Chapter 42

Here we go

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Murmurs came from the group in front of him. People he knew all dressed in black. He did not know where he was, but something told him to go forward, to find out what the group were moment he started forward dread filled him. So much dread. Their voices began to rise the closer he got. He didn't listen. Even so some words slipped through crescendoing with each step.

"She tried so hard…"

"This would kill him"

"Monsters always come for the innocent. That's what makes them the monster"

"So hot"

But Erik could not heed their attention. He was focused on the long black coffin so close now… He was trying to run but his legs were weak, but he fought and fought. He refused to believe what he already knew.

Finally he reached the lid of the coffin. With a hurried frenzy his skeletal hands lifted off the lid. There, pale white and beautiful as ever was Christine. Her face relaxed in the expression Erik knew too well, and always dreaded for her. Relaxed in the expression of death. His eyes grew wide as he fell back. Hands grabbed his wrist as everyone turned to him. His heart was going to explode. He COULD NOT, WOULD NOT accept it.

They were glaring and started to say "HOt so hot. Hot" over and over, their voices morphing into one, into _her_ voice. Then slowly Christine rose from her coffin and turned its head to the trapped Erik. Her cheeks were white instead of their lovely, living pink. Her eyes opened and instead of their normal vibrant blue where translucent. Dead eyes. Then her pale white lips opened and she let out a bloodcurdling shriek.

Erik's body shot forward as his eyes flew open. He was awake but she was still screaming. His chest felt so sore but he ignored it to turn to her. Both Giry and Darius were holding her down. She was thrashing and gasping for air. They were the ones who had been saying too hot. Because Christine was too hot. He could see sweat glistening on her skin.

Erik was terrified. He grabbed Darius's arm. "The lake. Time for trying to break her fever or using rags is over. The lake is frigid, hold her in there." He turned to Giry, his vision blurring from pain. There was no time for that, "Hury to the nearest ice dealer. Pay whatever they want. Bring it back as soon as possible. I didn't want to shock her system, but it seems her fever is doing that for her. We have to cool her." She nodded and ran to the door.

Darius immediately grabbed Christine and ran out the door. Erik wanted to follow her.

She was screaming and moaning. Asal watched him and wordlessly grabbed the piano bench that they started to use as a makeshift gurney and grabbed his hand. He jumped but then looked at her thankfully. She picked him up and laid him down on the bench. He allowed himself a second to close his eyes and show pain. Then he opened them as they moved out the door. He needed to be with Christine just as every fire needs air.

He came out to see a thrashing Christine in Darius's arm. He went three feet from shore and sat down, submerging Christine to her neck. Her screams were becoming fainter. Erik leaned forward. Only to hold her hand, next thing he knew he fell into the lake face first. He did not even have the strength to push himself to his back. Asal rushed forward and flipped him and held him in the water. He coughed slightly, his head was spinning. His body, so weak now, was making his vision tunel and blur.

But he had to stay conscious. What was more terrifying was not his own small breaths, but Christines. Her breathing grew more and more sporadic. Then despite everything it grew silent. "No. No Christine" Erik mumbled. Desperately he reached for her hand.

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Happy are we now? You've finally done it. You've finally driven him loopy.

J.K. I love you all. I will update soon ;) as in I am writing the next chapter within the next hour and posting again tonight hopefully.


	43. Chapter 43

As promised, and also oh fuck I almost lost the entirety to this story due to technical difficulties. But I didn't, just had a minor heart attack. Also have to say, if you are like me and were *sadly* not born in Europe, keep in mind they are in France and don't use Fahrenheit (also I made an oopsie and said feet out of habit in the last chapter, so please have some mercy and pretend I said meter or something) oh and a du'a is a type of prayer.

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In one moment, she was burning. She did not know who or what she was, just that her skin was a light in a blaze. Flames licked and charred, it hurt so much. That was all she knew in that moment. White blinding pain. Then all of a sudden the flames turned blue and the white fire so hot turned cold. So cold. Blackness swirled in mists around her very being. Cold paralyzed her. Then she grew numb to it. She felt so alone in this black eternity. She missed Erik.

So much that it was almost like he was there again. Holding her hand. It was cold though. The blinding pain was in that hand but she held on. She would rather be in flames than be alone. Soon she felt her lungs expand again and the cold wash over her. It was slowly losing its burn, but long as she held on to his hand she could focus. She wasn't alone.

Erik could hear her next breath and then the next. It was the most beautiful music he had ever heard. He gave a small smile before fainting from his own exhaustion.

Madam Giry came back twenty minutes later and Christine, who still had a dangerously high fever, was put into an ice bath. But she refused to let go of Erik, and not wanting her to stress anymore than she needed they allowed her. Erik was a sleep, they propped him up well on the bench and managed to squeeze him next to the tub.

Then finally, at 2:30 am, one week after her injuries, after that fateful night, her fever started to go down.

"Darius, Darius, look. It has been 43 degrees now it's 40, it's working, it's working" She said almost sobbing with relief. She had come to consider Christine as a daughter over the past few months. Darius said a du'a of thanks.

Eriks head began to move with the sounds. He opened his eyes to a jubilant Giry. When she saw he was awake she smiled and said "Finally my friend, her fever is going down." He smiled with relief. Finally they were all healing. Finally

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Sorry for short chapters, next one will be much longer.


	44. Chapter 44

As promised

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Christine and Nadir were still healing, meg, her arm in a sling was up bouncing around much faster than anyone's guess. She laughed at Christine's concern saying "Please, not like it was my leg, then I'd be worried. Not for me of course, but for the other ballerinas, they couldn't get on without me" Then she would jokingly pose dramatically and walk away. Christine could now sit up and even walk around for short amounts of time. Nadir was a still bedridden but could stay awake longer now, much to the relief to Darius. Erik who now did not have to speak spent most of his time silently in pain. Christine could tell something was wrong. He would still hold her hand and such, but seemed much less talkative, well he wrote less. His wrist and ankle were healing slowly.

Everyone was worried because of his slowly fading muscle control. He was still too ill to even try physical therapy. His voice did not exist anymore. Once Christine looked in the back of his throat while he slept, just so the others could anticipate the damage, and his throat was bright red, his tonsils were swollen, blood beaded at the back of his throat. She grew extremely worried at the sight but chose not to tell him about it. She could tell he was in pain. He only took small breaths because his ribs were almost completely healed. They were worried because the small breaths had become habitual.

Darius was starting to peruse Erik's medical library for _anything_ to help. He found one thing he should them late at night while Erik slept. They could start forcing his lungs to expand more using a machine of Eriks own design. It was essentially a pump, his notes said he got inspiration from the organ. It was a later invention he apparently made out of boredom thinking about issues he had with stubborn patients (or chorale singers) who had breathing issues and needed to expand their lungs. It would be extremely painful but could be necessary.

On top of that they were also debating his surgery and if he should do lung therapy before or after.

He finished his last dose of medicine a week after Darius started to research. According to Eriks notes he was exhibiting signs that he needed the surgery, and it said if they didn't do it the bacteria left in his throat could kill him. Christine wondered if that was why Erik sat so quiet.

He was probably worried and in denial, on top of extreme pain. He was probably making every come back to their advances. Late at night they would debate if they should help his breathing before surgery or surgery then lungs because of the pain.

The only ones he would really even relaxe some around was Asal son who they started calling D to help confusion, and Christine. Erik seemed to take a liking to the small quiet boy. After Asal explained to him how to behave she started bringing him out of their room when Christine and Nadir were out of trouble.

He would sit silently with the strange man and play with small toys. At first Erik was surprised he wasn't disturbed by him, but he seemed to not be scared. When Darius asked why he was hanging around 'those two love birds'

He shrugged and said squinting a bit to remember best what his mother said. "Momma said was a wittle diwerent. I like different. And he is, he is nice and calm. I can pway and feew safe because mama said he would make wure we were safe."

Erik, who could understand what he said smiled a bit. After that he began interacting with the young boy. He started showing the child basic card tricks he could do one handed. He felt a bit better watching the kids eyes light up as his shackey hands produced 'magic'. Christine felt a little flutter in her heart watching them. It gave her hope. Maybe one day, when all of this is done…

Finally, after Nadir had begun to act like himself and Christine was slowly making her way to the kitchen they confronted her. It was time to do something. He carefully closed the door behind them as they entered the kitchen. Nadir reached up and pulled down the window to the living room. Christine gulped.

"Christine, we have been talking and…" Nadir began with a nervous glance to Darius.

"And we think it is time to talk to Erik about, about his treatment… about therapy and surgery…"

She paled and looked at her hand. Of course she would have to be the one to talk to him about it. She looked at them again, a mask placed on to hide her fear and concern. "What should we do first?"

"Lungs. We found the contraption last night and figured it would be easier to have the surgery if he could breath, and breathing properly we can start physical therapy. Maybe even get him back on the organ..." She nodded and turned away. He would not like this. She did not like this. The idea of putting him through even more pain… But when did life ever care about what they liked? About hurting people who have been hurt enough?

She nodded and went to their room. D sat next to Erik trying to do one of his simple card tricks. Erik had been slowly trying to teach him over the past week. Quite a feet when you can not talk and the person you are teaching can't read. But he just showed the curious boy over and over. D had a smile on his face as he managed to hold the cards in one hand and keep the trick card hidden (somewhat).

Christine smiled for a moment as she watched the two then came over to Erik and said softly "Erik, I need to talk to you"

He looked at her and she could tell, he knew. He looked at D and tapped his shoulder lightly, pointing to the other room. His way of dismissal. D pouted for a moment but nodded, not wanting to upset Erik, he could tell the adults were having adult people talk.

Once he left Christine sat on the bed taking Eriks hand. "Erik… we've been talking and think that… think that we need to fix your breathing and do the surgery…"

His faced turned immediately to anger and a hint that only Christine could pick up, a hint of fear. He grabbed his notepad and wrote in shaky, barely legible writing

 _So once again Erik's fate is decided for him. Regardless of what Erik thinks. Or wants._

"Erik, even you _know_ you have to do this. Don't you want to get better?"

 _So Erik is condemned to pain? Pain, pain pain. Nothing easy, no not for Erik. Well Erik wants things to be easy for him now. He wants to rest his body has had enough._

"And it can, after this. Honey…" She said looking at him with the utmost sympathy.

 _And what happens if someone messes up and Erik heal's but can't talk… can't sing with his Christine?_

"And you would rather stay like this, weak and in pain, than take that risk?"

 _ERIK IS TIRED OF RISKS! Erik wants to not have to worry about risks for longer.._

"Erik not doing anything is a risk, and you know you will eventually worry, and by then… It'll be too late… Don't you want to be able to live, really live again? To kiss me, to dance, to sing?"

 _The real question is does Erik want to hurt again._

She sighed, knowing he wouldn't budge. She felt like crying. She sighed and patted his leg lightly. "Well… just think of it, for me…" She gave a small huff of momentary humour and said "Think of me…"

Then she left the room.

Behind the adjoining door D. was tugging his mothers dress. She looked down "Yes little one?"

"Why did Mr. Erik seem so up-wupset, when I weft?"

She looked back at the door. Nadir had told her what Christine would be having to do right about now. "Well… Mr. Erik has to do something to get better, but it really hurts. And he has… He has had a lot of owies and wants break from them… but we need him to not take a break, then the owies will hurt him too much. But we can't force him because it wouldn't be right…"

"How can we get him to?"

"I don't know love, I don't know"

D. Stood back. Asal went over to the bed and began to fold the basket of laundry she brought into their room. He had to figure out a way to help his friend, make him not have too many booboo's. Then he decided he would just have to be big people and talk to Mr. Erik. He wanted him to get better, he was nice, and showed him magic tricks. And according to Mommy he made the prettiest music. He wanted to hear it.

So he pressed his ear to the door. He heard a soft girl's voice speaking the weird language here. Then silence and a door close. Immediately he reached up and managed to turn the knob. He stumbled in and took his normal spot. was staring at the ceiling, clearly very mad. Even so he softened slightly seeing the child. It would do no good in scaring the child. Erik, was fuming about the whole situation, that no matter what he chooses he will be in pain and peace still alluded him. Even so he was slightly curious why D returned so quickly. Soon his curiosity was rewarded.

"Mr. Ewik. I was tawkin to Mama. She says that you is not wanting to do more owies to get better, and that we can't make you but… Mr. Ewik, I wfink it'll be worf it. I sees you wook at and you wook so sad, and You wov her. So You shouwd twy. Becuase I fwink Mistew you'll be happy. Awso I wanna wearn more magic sir. It is so Coow! And it would be so much easier if you could mowv. Me and Moma and and Meg and Ma-madem Giry and Nadir and Darius, aw of us would Help! Awso mama says you do music and I has never weary heawrd a plea-an-o and sh said ju are da best! So pwease mistew Erik. Fink. Pwease?"

And just as Erik was thinking of a response, he heard another voice. A much older and sadder voice.

Christine had walked out and stood, leaning on a chair watching the fire. A tear ran down her cheek. So many thoughts were running through the two young swedish sopranos head. She couldn't process it all. She looked around the room for a moment and it was the piano that caught her attention. Before her eyes the room changed to her old room in the opera house, she was much smaller and stared at the wall as a piano played through the walls, Eriks once soothing smooth voice floating through the air, like the smell of a bakery when one walks by on a cold street, filling her with warmth and confidence as she tried a scale again.

Then it changed and suddenly she imagined another little girl, one that looked very much like her, with dark black curly hair, and golden eyes, by the piano as Erik softly sang to her, instructing her.

Then Christine broke inside. More tears began to fall as she pleaded with herself for some sort of relief, for the grief of losing the idea of a child with the man she loved. Then a little voice told her to sing. Sing.

So tears streaming from her cheeks she stood tall and began to sing her heart out, regardless of her aching side.

' _Everyday passes by, fantasies seem to fly_

 _All gone_

 _So Far_

 _The lonely heart cries_

 _Time seems to take, and take_

 _Causing only pain_

 _Still it seems, That dream from so long ago_

 _Could be here_

 _But fear take them away_

 _White dress white cake…_

 _Love by the lake…_

 _Dreams that stay dreams,_

 _Dreams that seem to fade away_

 _Nightmares churning at the bay_

 _A little girl a little boy_

 _Dark haired, playing with their toys._

 _Love is all they know_

 _These dreams only show_

 _Things that seem so long ago_

 _Everyday goes by_

 _Phantom faces fade in size_

 _Still I dream_

 _A little boy, a little son, playing and having fun_

 _A daughter, her father_

 _So fond of her…_

 _They all seem to fade._

 _WIth everyday_

 _That goes_

 _On_

 _By…'_

Christine sighed and wiped her cheeks, deciding she needed to check on Erik, feeling emotionally drained. She she walked in Erik was closing his eyes, not moving. Next to him was a small note.

 _We will start tomorrow… I… I can't let them fade away… I love you, I love them, too much…_

 _Even if it does kill me, I, We, have to try…_

 _Love, Erik_

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So if you wanted to feel sad or cry today and get a lot of mixed emotions, then I am glad to be of service. This one was kind of hard to write because how do you convince someone who has been through so much, to go through more so they _might_ be happy in the end. I speak from personal experience from being basically both Erik and D. at different times and it can get so hard to hang on and agree for more pain, in the hope it could get better so I really wanted to convey that, that idea of having to get worse before you can get better. My dad and breathing treatments were he was having to be retrained to breath I remember being very difficult, even with modern medicine, so I know it would be an issue with Erik. Some people don't realize it but having a severe illness can cause issues in the smallest things, even trying to breath right again caused my father to have panic attacks and many issues, so it would make sense for Erik to dread it and want a break so much.


	45. Chapter 45

Here come the mask

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Christine held Eriks hand as he eyed an invention of his own making with fear. Christine not aware truly how painful this would be eyed the contraption curiously.

Nadir explained to her. "basically there are two pumps. To push the pump down and up are two synchronized gears like a wind up watch. We wind it up every hour a day every so many pegs hits the lever that brings up and down the pump, like a water wheel dumping ad pouring water. At first the pegs hit it more frequent to act like short breaths. They are spaced out to do so. We give him slightly longer breaths each time time he settles into a setting. Each time we boost it the gears slide down with a piston and a bigger gear is in place. Inside is a filter we need to change every other day. Wind the tweark here." He pointed to a large key stick out to the side. "We do it in increments so we don't shock the system. We take it out when he must eat or use the restroom. Now christine. When I say that's when we take it out. That is the only time we take it out. He could be pleading but unless something's broken or he will puke and clog the machine, which we can fix, we can not remove this mask ok? And erik" He turned sternly to the frail man and said like a father telling his child not to run into the road "if I must I will restrain you." Erik nodded sadly.

Everyone crowded around Erik as Nadir lifted. Up a long mask connected to a tube that fed into the machine. He forced Eriks jaw open as wide as it would go, and placed in mouth gaurd's so he couldn't close his mouth and suffocate in a panic attack. It was a metal wire Frame that hooked on to the large mask that now crowded his skull face.

Nadir twisted the wheel once and set the timer. Christine watched as the pump rose and fell forcing Erik to open his lungs and breath more.

The moment of his first slightly larger breath Erik knew he had crested his own hell. He let out a blood curdling shriek of pain as it felt like someone was pulling his insides out. It was muffled heavily by the mask.

He wanted to flail but hurt to much. It was blinding pain. All he could feel was Christine's hand and pure hell.

She looked at Nadir her face that of torment. She knew for Erik to hurt that badly something was wrong. But Nadir sighed and said "it's working. Sadly We can't give him anything because it might affect his breathing"

Christine nodded and tears began to pour down her face for her demon in hell. He writhed slightly, but it was face, his eyes frozen in a scorch of torture that would forever haunt them all.

Nadir wondered if Erik had felt like he did now, the night Erik had to ki… relieve his son. Nadir sighed and stepped out. He needed a drink. Something to make him cloth headed. Darius seemed to sense this and grabbing his cannabis filled cigar box followed him.

The rest did so leaving Christine alone with her torture

Every breath he took felt like lava was scorching his throat and lungs. What was worse is that it gave the smallest break the moment before the machine caused another rise. His stomach wanted to hurl but it would not dare move because he was so paralyzed in his hell. Soon exhausted it was too much and he blacked out. He would slowly fade in and out for the next few hours.

Christine was received when it was time for him to eat. When they could take the torture device off. Erik had tears rolling down his cheeks at that point as they cut off the pump and took off the mask. He stretched his jaw and sobbed with releif.

The pain having left he puked out his guts into a nearby bucket. They cleaned and fed him. He was just relieved for a break. A moment. But then Nadir began to come back with the mask and Erik, who had had enough lost it.

He began fighting to move away from the mask, trying his hardest to not go through that again. But he was so weak that all he could really do was turn his head. Christine had to hold his head still with delicate fingers. Eriks soul pleaded not to do this but Nadir placed it on once more.

It was worse with his body sore from last time. He closed his eyes, he couldn't see or focus. He didn't know his hands were clawing at his mouth to get it off or he was sobbing. He knew nothing.

Christine had to tie him down as he laid in eternal suffering, as Ixion upon the wheel. All she could do is watch his suffering. She felt like a demon herself.

Breath after breaths turn after turn Erik lost any sanity he had gained. Three days of this went by. He only blacked out, never slept. But finally exhaustion got the best of him.

He began to fade in and out, he knew not if he woke or slept because he often dreamed of Nadir placing the damn mask on. He developed claustrophobia and everytime he saw the mask he would have panic atracks. His body would seize and the only thing forcing his continued breath was that damn machine. Three days of this hell.

On the fourth day however, his lungs seemed to catch up because for the first time he could properly see his surroundings.

Christine grew more and more depressed the better he seemed to breath. Because she knew life old punish him for in. Erik also began to forget where he was or what was going on. He was clearly having a mental breakdown.

As was Christine when Nadir was forced to change the knob from 2 to 3. Erik, so exhausted fainted with a scream of agony.

Christine stood up, her senses leaving her. She only saw red as she picked up the nearest thing to her (a plate from their lunch) and lunged after the pump that to her, was a vicious amazonion snake strangling the life out of Erik.

As she lunged for the pump, Asal grabbed her hand. She looked at Christine calmly as dangerous eyes met her own. They were the eyes of insanity.

Christine breathed heavily. But seeing it was as asals warm brown eyes, relaxed. She let the plate fall onto the bed.

Even though Christine would give anything to keep Erik from this pain, she knew she mustn't.

So for 15 days Erik remained ixion. But on the 16th day, they had just turned the knob to 7. It was late, Christine had just settled back into bed next to Erik after turning the wind, when she heard a loud snap.

She looked over horrified to see blood spurting from the sides of Erik's mask, trickling down his cheeks on to the bed. He was flailing wildly, his mind consumed by flame.

She screamed loudly drawing everyone to the room. She began to tug off the mask, Nadir switching off the machine. Under the mask was a ghastly mess.

During Eriks time of being ill almost all of his muscles had grown week, except his jaw, which had seemed to grown in strength from constantly gritting it in pain. When Christine had turned up the nob it had caused Erik to grit down so hard that he had managed to snap and mangle the wire framing holding his mouth open.

Bits of metal had pierced through his skin and all along the inside of his mouth. Blood and flesh seemed to mingle across his expression that belonged to victims in hell.

Christine immediately snapped from awe at the gruesome sight and being the first to do so, reached in and as carefully as she could, removed the now deformed metal device.

Blood gushed ever more from the puncture wounds and bits of Metal were still lodged in his cheeks, like maggots on a corpse.

Then Nadir saw Eriks eyes fly open. His pupils were dilated and stopped flailing. "SHOCK, HE IS GOING INTO SHOCK!"

Nadir usually so level headed went into overdrive. He had seen men go into shock before on the force. He was panicked but took one breath then said quickly turning Eriks head so he wouldn't vomit. "Meg, raise his legs, Giry place a pillow under them to keep his legs elevated. Darius get me a large platen and alchol, Christine, needle and thread now!" everyone darted to there stations. He next next to his friends face. He felt for a pulse, it was faint, his breathing which was better than before seem to slow. His skin seem to drain of any colour it had.

He growled in frustration. "don't give up on us now Erik! We are so close… damn it Erik don't leave. I can't lose anyone, not again…"

Christine returned first with the sewing supplies. Nadir remembered something about Erik already donating once with her. It would still be a 50/50 shot, but the fact she was alive was testament that they were compatible in one way. He just prayed the other way worked just as well.

He turned to Asal who just entered after putting up d. "run and find the blood transfusion case. I believe it's green and big" Asal having remembered where Erik had put it after Christine's injuries went to get it.

Darius arrived with the platter and Nadir immediately began to pluck out sharreds and place them in the plate. The moment a wound was clean he stitched it fast. It wasn't near as clean as Eriks handy work, but it would do. Christine had begun to clean the wounds and dab them with Darius gin.

Erik was fading fast, but he tried god he tried to say. Finally Asal re emerged with the life saving equipment. With how much blood lose Erik has had plus how sick he has been a blood transfusion would be needed. And he grabbed the second smaller bottle used to hydrate the person. He guided Christine wordlessly to her side and had Giry hold the bottle as before.

Christine was glad to be more of service as the bottle filled with er blood and slowly into Erik. Darius ran to fill the smaller bottle and stick it in Eriks other arm. Giry took over Christine's spot as Nadir finished sewing holes.

He glanced down Eriks red swollen throat, relieved to find by some miracle the damage has only been to Erik's mouth and not past it. Then he checked Eriks pulse. Still weak but stopped fading.

He wrapped and bandages best he could over the now slightly swollen flesh, trying to keep Eriks mouth open. Thankfully they didn't have to worry as much about blocking his nose as it was wide enough to avoid bandages.

Christine was growing a little too pale for Nadirs taste but he was worried by the fact his friends pulse was still so weak. Thankfully the blood seemed to bring his heart rate back up slowly.

He looked at Christine who seemed about to puke. "Only two more minutes and I think we are in the clear." She nodded and then slapped her hand to her mouth. Giry quickly grabbed a bucket as Christine emptied her stomach contents.

Out of all the sounds they had made, it was Christine that made him awaken slightly. He had been floating in a pool of misery, but he heard her and felt for her hand umongst the bebree. He found it and squeezes it.

War hard thing to stomach after all. Isn't that what happened a blast? A bomb? No. That wasn't right… didn't make some thing? Didn't he make the bomb? Closer. But not that

Erik mused a little in his weird trance between life and death. Eventually he managed to fall asleep. Nadir sighed in releif as he checked Eriks pulse and found it near normal. He unhooked Christine first. She too was on the verge of blacking out. She would be weak for a few days for sure.

Nadir leaned back and watch the two as the group, sensing the danger had passed, dispersed. Darius tapped Nadirs shoulder "smoke?"

"What kind?"

Darius shrugged smirking a little "Only the best. Opium"

Nadir nodded thankfully. He needed the sweet relief of the drug. He never would admit it, and no one would call him out on it, but he was a bit of an addict at home, to Opium and alcohol. Even when out if things got rough he always needed a good smoke.

He took a puff and felt the drugs warm hands engulf him. He sighed. He had almost lost one of the few people on this earth he still gave a shit about today. He needed it.

"you're not gonna put that death trap on him again are you?"

"I don't know. I mean he was up to 7… But 7 is not 10"

"I think if you tried he'd go into shock again. Besides. 7 is close enough, we can catch him up during physical therapy and voice practice after the surgery."

Nadir puffed again and grabbed the gin from his station "that is true. I don't think anyone would appose that. Darius? Why does love have to be so damn difficult!"

He rarely cursed and got emotional like this, except for when. He drank or smoked.

"Well, people find it worth fighting wars over. Worth dying for" worth waiting forever and never telling then you love them for fear of rejection and punishment "and usually things worth that much are hard won I suppose" or never won.

"that's true…" He sighed staring at the lovers. "it's just so cruel how it is. You finally find someone who scares away the demons, makes the world brighter for you, then life tries it's damndest to take it away…" Darius knew he wasn't just talking about Erik and Christine.

He patted his friend's shoulder as they sat in a long silence. Nadir tried to clear his throat, not even the drugs could tear him from his thoughts. He then asked, choking slightly "you think- think we can save him…? Or do you think he is a lost cause. Be honest Darius"

Darius sat in a long silence thinking. He knew this bothered Nadir, remembering constantly his son and his sons suffering. He would have answered no or maybe, but it was the sight of Erik's hand, held tight in Christine's. And the memory they had made it this far.

Just as Nadir was about to give up hope of an answer Darius replied "I think he'll make it. He's made it this far. And he has one of those things worth fighting for" He said pointing to their hands.

Nadir smiled briefly. Yes, for the first time in Erik's life, he supposed his friend did have something worth fighting for.

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	46. Chapter 46

Yay it is the weekend!

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Erik woke with a bit of a start. His chest felt sore, but he could breath somewhat easier. He vaguely remembered taking on and off the mask. How long ago was that? How long did he wear the mask? Few days? A week? He honestly had no idea. This of course was not uncommon in Eriks life. He often lost track of time composing or inventing. But what really worried his half conscious brain was the growing pain in his cheeks and the strange clothey thickness on them. It was like he was trying to wear an old mask that was far too tight. Maybe he should open his eyes.

When he did he was surprised to see white out of his perrifiral and the increased soreness in his cheeks. He looked around now slightly alarmed. Then he spotted an I.V. near him. He winced turning his head to see his fience sleeping next to him. If she was asleep he must've been like this for at least several hours, maybe longer.

He felt slightly guilty but he had to wake her. It was his own body, and he needed to know what the hell had happened. He shook her slightly. She didn't stir, she felt colder than usual. That is when he noticed the bandage on her own arm. What the hell happened to him.

What happened to her?

Now concerned he shook her more violently, well as hard as he could. Which wasn't very hard but it managed to take the breath out of him She awoke groaning slightly. Her stomach was still a little woozy from earlier. Erik was looking at her with a confused look in his eyes.

She sighed, more exhausted than normal "What's the matter?"

He picked up the note pad resting near his hand _What happened? How long was I out? How long did I wear the mask? Why is my face wrapped up and feel like my cheeks met the wrong side of a machete?_

She was glad he didn't remember most of it. She couldn't even begin to imagine how bad it was if _Erik_ had to block it from memory. "You wore it for about 20 days. When I cranked the knob to 7 you grit down so hard it destroyed the metal frame in your mouth. A lot of it punctured your cheek on collapse. You ended up losing a lot of blood, and went into shock. So I donated blood, a little more than is suggested in all honesty. Nadir fixed your cheek and basically saved your life. Then you passed out and slept for" She checked the time "about 14 hours. I have been asleep for about as long too. I am still pretty tired honestly"

 _20 days!? I barely remember anything. And Christine, I am incredibly sorry you had to do that for me… And I am sorry I woke you, if I had known I wouldn't have dared love._

"It's ok Erik. You are worth it by far. And hey, you seem to be breathing a bit better on your own. We were worried taking you off so quick that you would have issue"

 _Thankfully it seems I adjusted in my sleep. I feel bit better too. My ribs are sore but I can actually breath semi normally without too much pain. My face on the other hand feels quite angry._

She smiled a little and said "I know it hurts, but I would rather your face than your lungs. Oh and since you are breathing somewhat properly, perhaps Nadir could start you on pain killers while your face heals and we start therapy, that reminds me, When you woke, in order to keep improving your breathing you are supposed to do a couple of exercises" She chuckled a little.

 _What is funny?_

"Well, for once I won't be the one doing breathing exercises and practice."

He smiled for a second then winced as this tugged his swollen cheeks slightly. _Au contraire mademoiselle, last I checked you still sing. If I must exercise, so do you. As your teacher I insist._

She shook her head smiling more, so happy to see him in such a light mood. She replied in a fake pompous tone that sounded extremely like carlotta's mother "Practice breathing? Oh no, Monsieur, that is for simpletons. I after all have been the leading Sopranist at the Opera. I need no such thing!"

He let out a slightly faster breath that was she assumed at this moment, was his version of a chuckle. _Lead or not, if you wish to avoid sounding like the next leading sopranist backside you must._ Then he got sadder as he continued _and perhaps one day… We can resume proper lessons… And you will be greater than any other voice that has dared to sing_

Her face fell. She knew why he was so depressed. He was nervous he might never get to do those lessons. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Erik, we are almost there. Once your face heals, we can do the surgery. I am sure it will work, I have a good feeling. Then just a few months to retrain yourself and you'll be good as new. While you work we can slowly plan the wedding and everything will be ok" at least I hope, she added mentally.

 _What if it doesn't work? What then…_

"Then you will marry your living bride, compose and be happy with me. But I really do think this will work. I saw Nadir, he seemed to have some training out on the field. He has steady hands and is smart. I know he won't mess up"

 _Even so… It just feels like an eternity away. Erik has almost forgotten what, well, his normal feels like._

The corners of her mouth lifted slightly as she said "Well, I know something that will make you feel normal"

 _What is that?_

She smirked and leaned forwards, taking him in a passionate kiss. It was the first time she was able to do so since that night so many months ago. Normally all he could handle were quick pecks, but now with his breathing manageable she was able to go much longer.

Eriks pain and worry seemed to melt at her lips. Long as he had her, he knew it would work out ok.

A few seconds past and they felt both too short and like they lasted an eternity, then she broke apart. His cheeks growing angry at the movement. He winced and she said jumping back "Oh! I forgot. Let me get the painkillers." She then stood and fell back to the bed. Vertigo from her sudden change in blood ammount had taken effect. She steadied herself and approached the door much slower.

Erik sank back closing hi eyes, letting the pain wash over him. But it didn't get through to him. He was still thinking of their kiss.

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It is so nice to have Erik thinking some what more 'normal' now. More to come.


	47. Chapter 47

Sorry for the delay, this chapter was half written when it was sadly deleted so I may have… pouted a bit. Also Caillison d'Aix is a traditional French candy consisting of a smooth, pale yellow, homogeneous paste of candied fruit (especially melons and oranges) and ground almonds topped with a thin layer of royal icing. Calissons have a texture not unlike that of marzipan, but with a fruitier, distinctly melon-like flavor. Calissons are often almond-shaped and are typically about two inches in length. Calissons are traditionally associated with the town of Aix-en-Provence, France. Also there is a Breathing Excersize device mentioned that is also based off a real thing they do to check your lungs and breathing now a days. I have used some myself - I had really bad asthema growing up- and they are the most annoying things in existance sometimes.

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Christine was smiling in her sleep. Erik looked over her in faint curiosity. He had just woken from sleep himself, although his dreams did not seem to be as enjoyable as Christines. Suddenly she sat up and began laughing. He had never seen her laugh quite so hard. Despite his half healed face he began to smile. It was rare to see her so happy these days.

She settled back and looked at him. For a second she seemed to calm but then she broke out laughing again. Now more confused he wrote _What is so funny may I ask?_

It took her a few minutes to calm down before she read it. She giggled a little more then took a breath. It was the kind of breath Erik had instilled in her since the beginning of her lessons to calm her before a performance. She then said, a smile on her lips. "I had a dream"

 _I noticed. What happened in i_ _t?_

"Well. I was walking down Rue Abel, and I was really in the mood for sweets… And so I walk into the candy shop on the corner. And I walk up to the counter and" But then she burst out laughing again. It took her a moment to choke out "a-and the gr-great phan-ntom himself was in s-serving sweets. A-and you had the b-biggest pout I-I had ever seen you h-have under your h-half mask. Ape-" that is when she fell on the floor in giggles. Erik, who could not move his torso tried to turn his head to see her. He had the most confused expression. He was pretty sure his eyebrow area had never been quite so raised. Was she ok?

Eventually she clamoured back on the bed and said very out of breath "Aperently Athena h-had stolen all your t-taffy and wouldn't get it back, so y-you pouted at the cat. You in all your phantom masked glory, i-in a pink apron was pouting at our c-cat over c-candy" She began to laugh more having finished her little tale.

Erik had to think a bit. Then he shook his head and snorted lightly at the thought as well. He supposed it would be very ludicris. Him begging his cat to give him back his candy. While wearing a pink fluffy apron and his dark black half mask he made to look more like a skull than anything.

 _You amaze me my dear._ She read it after she had finally calmed down. "Believe me, seeing you in a candy shop amazed me… hey, you know. I never asked, what is your favourite candy? Does monsiur Phantom have a bit of a sweet tooth.?"

He couldn't help but give a bit of a tratoris smile and blush.. _Mayybbee…_ "well, what do you like then?"

 _Caillison d'Aix…_ He blushed at his guilty pleasure. Unknown to everyone but Nadir he actually usually keeps a rather large jar of the delicious sweets hidden behind his organ. He had not replaced it when the drama with Christine happened, but normally he kept it very well stocked. Much to the Persians delight in teasing his friend.

"Really? I always pegged you a chocolate lover…"

 _Don't really like how rich it is. I like more sweet and well, mellow._ She read it and smirked "Hence my amazement."

 _What do you like candy wise then?_ She replied almost instantly "Salt water taffy, especially the banana one"

His brow furrowed _Those really aren't productive with your voice_

"I know, hence why I like them. They are sort of a… forbidden fruit I can only really have on the off season, or when my teacher is distracted with writing and I can sneak a couple"

 _You sneaky little minx.._ Despite her doing this he couldn't help but smile a little. To get past him with that must have taken some ingenuity. She grinned and pointed to a figure jumping on the bed. "Looks like I'm not the only sneaky one." She sighed and looked at the time. "I will say it is nice being able to not have a complex and tiring scedule."

He looked down and wrote _Sorry about that_

"Love, it is ok.."

But Erik was not buying it. He was so irritable at not being able to do or help anything, when all he wanted to do was spoil his Christine in taffy and kiss her, and show her how much she means to him. Instead he has been reduced to a pitiful lame babe that everyone has to take care of. _It is not ok! If Erik had not been so stupid, he could be giving you the world right now Christine! He knows you are tired of having to constantly change him, take care of him. Erik is tired of his Christine having to do that, when all she should have to do is smile and be happy! Erik is a curse… A burden…_

"Erik… Calm down"

 _No.. Erik has been calm. Erik is tired. Erik wants freedom…_

"And Erik will get freedo-" She was cut short by the alarm clock on her nightstand. "Shit…" She muttered and said more coffidently shutting it off "You will get it. But first, we should do some excersizes love… Please can we do those then discus this?"

 _Why so Erik is too tired to bother you with his ramblelings?_

She took a breath. She knew from experience when Erik got like this it was best to be patient. " No. So Erik can and will get better. It is easier to stick to this schedule love… you know that"

 _Erik hates schedules… Theyre so, confinning. Like sleep. It is just wasted time that I could be using to compose or make things for you or literally anything else would be a better use of my time… Or would have been…_

"Erik… I know they aren't always… fun, but basic ones keep you healthy. And when you are healthy you can think more, do more…"

 _They are mere interuptions. I do not like interuptions._

She sighed "Would you come to bed with me? When you are well I mean"

 _If_

"No, when. God damnit Erik! You will get better. I swear you will. Also. , you avoided my question."

… _How much does Christine insist?_

"When I sleep, you do"

 _That is far too long, Erik managed fine without sleeping every day_

"I know for a fact you didn't" Eriks eyes narrowed. This only confirmed her suspicions

 _What do you mean?_

"All those times you cancled lessons claiming you had 'other duties to attend to'. I know you said that because it wouldn't make sense if an angel called in sick would it? And I know it wasn't you being busy with composing because you mentioned dropping whatever you were doing to see me. Unless you were too exhausted and _sick_ to do so. And it happened quite a bit"

He had been beat. He knew this. But that only made him more pissed. But he could not for the life of him do a damn thing about it. He couldn't be harsh to her because she was right. He couldn't yell, or throw anything. All he could do was clench his teeth and make a weak fist.

She thankfully gave him a moment to calm slightly. After a few huffs he finally wrote in a rather snippy manner _Will Christine at least compromise?_

She eyed him suspicipusly and said "Perhaps…"

 _What if Erik promises that when Christine goes to bed he sleeps at least two hours with her?_

"Only two?" She sighed, looking at him. She remembered how bad he must feel right now and perhaps, she should let him have this one. "Alright…" Then she stood and walked over to his side. "Now, Mr. Sidetrack, your breathing excersizes are due" He managed a groan and she rolled her eyes. "Uh hu, and you would pitch a fit when I groaned at them." He glarred slightly but had no retort. She felt slightly cocky, it was rare she won arguments so well with him. And two in a row like that…

She grabbed the small device she left on his bedside table. He closed his eyes. This was by far his least favourite excersize, and of course it was the practiced.

He knew he couldn't complain, that it was still necacary. But that doesn't change the fact it was the worst feeling one. Christine inserted the glass bottle into Eriks mouth. It felt highly uncomfortable against the slowly healing stitches in his cheek. The bottle had connected to it, a smaller glass tube with a scale and light peg connected to it. It was a simple device really. And a highly annoying one.

She nodded and Erik took a deep breath (which made his poor ribs and lungs ache a bit with the strain) and blew as hard as he could. The little peg flew half way up and Christine wrote down the number in a little black note pad they were using to keep track of his progress. He repeated it three times and she finally removed the awful invention.

She smiled a little "You are up a little bit more than usual progress. Maybe I should piss you off before hand more often eh?" Erik rolled his eyes. Next she gently raised his torso up slightly. He winced uncomfortably. She gave him a moment to get used to the feeling.

Then she said "Alright, try to get your chest to touch my hand." She held her hand a few inches from his torso, so he would have to use his barely existent back muscles to push himself forward. He groaned a little as he went forward using all his mite. He strained and huffed. It hurt so much to move so little, and for little pay off.

"You can do it love. Just imagine you are leaning over the catwalk to spy on the ballet rats." When she spoke and he imagined it a little, he managed to reach his goal. He relaxed back in a heap. His body ached and his breath huffed. He hated these exercises mainly because it reminded him how weak he had become. She lowered him down gently.

After a pause they began to work of one of his better muscles, his neck. This made him feel a bit better as he could at least make his head go in the familiar half moon arch he had taught to her to use to warm up in their lessons. It took some struggle and it wasn't as smooth as hers, but he managed to accomplish it much faster than the other exercises. She knew this, knew that his neck and wrist were easiest. That is why she spaced them, to not totally kill his moral.

So next was the trickiest one. Because it involved two exercises. He hated this one the most and it was perhaps the second most important one. She put her hand behind his back and slowly guided him up to were he was sitting straight up in bed. His whole torso shook with the effort but her hands took off enough strain to make it possible. "Alright Erik, Ready for the turn?" He bobbed his head slightly, trying so hard to keep balance. She put one hand out a few inches from his ear. "Now turn to face my hand"

He winced hard as she began to gently guide him, inch by inch, to turn his long skeletal torso to face her hand. He shook horribly with the strain but finally managed to do so. "Thank you Erik, Now could you turn to face the other side of the bed?" He took a second to steady himself, and then sweating slightly he did so. Once he reached his goal, his back began to give out. He hated that feeling, of losing control of ones own body. She caught him and steadied him.

After a moment she asked calmly "Would you like to continue or stop?"

He was torn. But he caught a look in her beautiful blue eyes. It was hope. And despite how annoyed and tired he now was, he didn't want to exstinguish that look. He knew she wanted him to try.

Usually at this point he was allowed to choose because the next part was very difficult, and he failed doing it many times. But this past week he had managed it three times and he knew she was growing hopeful at this.

And if there was one thing he couldn't stand it would be for him to crush that hope. So, regardless of how tired he now felt he straightened up his weak spine. Then Christine, using one hand to catch his back should it give, used her other hand to grab Eriks leg. First the one close to her, then the other. She slowly guided and mostly dragged them over to where they dangled off the bed. She then wordleslly guided his back down, to were he lay half on and half off the bed. She needed both hands for this next part. Erik winced at the painful position as he felt his reluctant spine stretch to match the position. Now Christine began to stretch his legs. This part took less of him moving himself and more of him baring movement. First she took a knee cap and gently began to push it to the side of the bed. "Alright Erik, push back against my hand" And he did so. It was very weak, but it was there. Satisfied with the effort she turned it the other way and repeadeted. Then did the other leg.

After that she began to push and stretch his leg towards his torso, making him in a L. He only had to endure this and so it was not so bad. She did it three times, going slightly further each time. When she lowered his legs she gave him a moment.

Erik was now gritting his teeth in pain and dread. Mostly dread. Because the hardest part was about to come. His breathing was fast but he tried his hardest to calm it. He felt so tired. But knew the Sweedish woman standing next to him, helping him through all of this, needed him to try. So he gave a curt nod.

She smiled and slowly guided him back up to a sitting position. Once steadied she stood directly in front of him. She grabbed his waist very carefully. Then slowly rocked him on his legs, like a mother trying to help a baby stand. His knees protested at the movement. Then slowly little by little she gave him back his weight and supported him less and less. When her hands began to be feather light his knees shook violently. He moaned out in pain and frustration. She stopped removing her hand. She gave it a second longer before saying "Could you try to take a step forward? Even just put your foot out and down?"

He closed his eyes. He of course couldn't do his left foot yet as his ankle was still healing from his struggle with the bonds. But he could move his right. So with all his strength his managed to clumsily place his right foot forward and down. But the moment he put any semblance of weight down, he collapsed, painting in her arms. "That was very good love." He begged to differ. Oh how he wished he could scream in frustration. He wanted to walk so badly. To be, well, not normal for he knew he had never been that, but to be able. Capable.

She laid him back down and let him rest a bit while she got him water. That way he could cool off before trying the last few exercises. She returned in record time to find Erik already half asleep from exhaustion. She wanted to let him just sleep, but knew if she did that it would not help him in the long run. Plus the more tired he was by the end of these, the better he slept she noticed.

She held him up enough to have a sip, making sure to not press his cheeks at all.

She grabbed the breathing device, it was good to touch up on breathing after things like that, to force his lungs to expand. So once again he blew, only twice this time. Having been moving around the peg as usual did go up slightly higher that the first session of this. It had been slowly increasing over time, which was good progress.

Then she started on the easiest exercises. His arms and wrists. Slowly she guided his arms up and down, making him rotate them smoothly. They were a bit shakier than normal, probably from the leg exercise. Then finally she got hims to lower then and made him do wrist motions. The ones for his left were easy, as he had kept its strength up by writing. His right was still slightly bothering him from the injury in the struggle to help Christine. Still his hands were by far the easiest exercise.

Finally after one last wrist motion his hands fell slack against the covers. He was exhausted and she could tell. She kissed his forehead sweetly. "When you wake we will have a nice meal and more rest love. You did very well today" He blinked tiredly, but smiled a little at her own smile. Well his thin lined lips relaxed a little. She rubbed his hand softly "Get some sleep love, shhh" And with a little more coaxing he did fall asleep, with his angel next to him.

She sat back for a moment, not quiet tired enough for sleep, but getting there. She decided perhaps some tea in the meantime. She got up and went out to the living room, leaving the door cracked just incase something went wrong. She didn't know if anyone was up, but the fire roaring in the livingroom on her entry answered her question. Nadir and Darius were lounging about the fire, lazy drinking gin.

She decided a little company would be nice and took the armchair opposite Nadir who was sprawled on the couch. Darius offered her some gin. She nodded thanks and he poured her a healthy portion. After a moment of casually staring into the fire she asked something she had been curious about since she first noticed the gin bottle in there makeshift surgeries.

"Where did you guys get this stuff any how? I never noticed Erik having much before"

Both of them had an expression of surprise as Darius replied "Never noticed Erik having drink? Are you mad?"

Nadir laughed a little and waved at his friend "Calm down Darius, he probably his it from her."

"Hid what from me?" Nadir smiled pencivily.

"The fact Erik quite likes a drink. A little too much for company mind you. You see, usually when he can't compose, whether it be from something akin to writers block or him being too upset at something-"

Darius interrupted "Usually the later mind you. He didn't really know how to handle it when you went out on dates and he couldn't follow"

Nadir conitnued calmly " He would drink quiet… Exstensively. We never said anything because it was better thanhim murdering or attacking others, and it was never so much it really became a problem… But I do have to say" Nadir continued a smile on his lips "That liquor cabnet comes in handy on our New Years"

"New Years?" Christine asked, now intrigued.

"Yep" Darius answered a little slurred " Every year we would come here for new years. We knew he had no one else and he actually isnt a bad host for that sort of thing. I mean, throughout the year we visit occasionally but New Years, that was our night… He would break out that cabnet and we would drink and drink and-"

"Drink" they finished together grinning.

"And it would make for some of our best stories too…" Nadir said glancing happily off in the distance.

"Tell her bout the fire works Nadir. That one is always my favourite"

"Fireworks?" She asked wanting to know more

"Ah yes. The year we pranked the phantom himself…"

 _Nadir laughed and said to Erik who was standing in front of the two giggling. "Do another!"_

 _Erik bowed, stumbling slightly and then sang in a fake bosy womans voice "How dare you insult my darling Cork-eta… No.. COr-Cor-lata" He grinned at his accomplishment. Then he got Darius up on his feet. "COme on dear friend dance, dance. Its neew year" he then began to drunkenly swin Darius around with his arm latched on._

 _It took Nadir a second to recognize the situation before he asked confused "Wait… We need -hiccup- Mu-mussiiiac, if we are to be dancing!"_

 _Erik stopped and looked as though Nadir had just told him the secrete to life itself. "You're right. We do!" he exclaimed, marching over to his organ. Then he pulled out a random peice of music and put it on his organ. He blinked it into focus, not realizing it was upseide down. Then began to play. It sounded so off, Nadir came over waving his hands._

 _He drapped an arm around Erik and slurred "My frriieend. No offense, but you play horrible whillleladrunk" And Erik, who was in too much of a good mood to be mad, just laughed. Darius came over and sat next to Erik on his bench. He too wrapped an arm around Eriks shoulder._

" _YOu knoww. We could djust, just siang." And so they began to sing horribly out of tune an old persian drinking song, forgetting half the words._

 _When that was done Nadir looked back at the two and hugged them crying "Dat dat was beautiuffll" Darius leaned in and mumbled "No you are beautiful' Erik heard but Nadir was crying too hard._

 _Darius sat back and giggled. "YOu knoww. It bein, da newyear and all… we need Foreworks!"_

 _Erik Looked at him in amazement "Darius, youuu are a genaasss" Then he began to giggle "gen ass, get it? ASSSS! Hey Hey! You know who have been asses lately?" They looked at him in awe fascination._

" _What, whhoo" They begged_

" _Ma-man- hiccup-ment. Managemnt. So I'm gonna, gonna give em fire works dey wonntt forget" The two blitzed Persians cheered as Erik stood, stumbling over his bench. He straightened and began to slowly stumble his way up to his hidden door into the managements office, grabbing a few effects along the way._

 _Once he managed to stumble his way up he camw into the dark room. "AAahh Shaiit. I ned a lightt" So he grabbed his matches and lit one, forgetting what was in hsi hands. One second there was some light, but then his hand swayed and ignited the box of fire works that he had planned to put in the candles so next time someone lit one, it would go off._

 _Instead they were all about to go off in hiis hand. He quickly dropped the now flaming box and ran, stumbling, as fast as he could, his hands in the air screaming "fire, Fire" Behind his the office was sparking and glowing in the light of fireworks of his owned design. Nadir heard him first and stopped his friend._

" _Whatsamatta"_

" _Fire in pofuce." Erik said before going to sit at his organ, now exhausted. Darius was passed out on the floor next to the organ. Erik looked at the keys and seem to forget about the mayham upstairs as he started to sing more of the song up from earlier._

 _Then he did the unforgivable. He passed out his head hitting the organ keys. It made an awful loud dischord, which was enough encouragement for Nadir to investigate Eriks destruction. He got to the door of the now burning office and took one look inside before slamming the door "Yaknow. That is der problem." So then he began to go back._

 _Whehn he got back he found much to his horror the organ was still playing that unforgiving chord. (Later on Nadir learned that the pump for the organ had actually been given an applience similar to Eriks breathing pump and could last for almost 8 hours without having to be wound) So he went over and shoved his friend off, to stop the horrid noise._

 _Erik fell easily off onto the floor, still out cold. But much to Nadirs horror, he realized three of the keys had gotten stuck. And would not budge. Nadir accidently hit darius trying to stop the horrid noise and darius woke with a start._

 _He covered his ears at the loud noise "Howin the hell is he sleeping?" Nadir sighed and out of frustration banged his head against the keyboard a few times. This did not help._

 _So for hours the notes played, keeping the two Persians awake. As they slowly began to get hang overs they quietly began to plot there revenge for their aweful head aches._

 _Darius is the one who came up with the brilliant idea. Nadir followed his plan and soon the both got Erik into his coffin and put a heavy amount of books plus Darius on it. Just then the notes stopped. They sighed a moment in relief, then after scooting Erik as close as possible to the biggest pipes, Darius pulled out Eriks violin. Nadir, now more annoyed than ever at his pounding head kicked the coffin hard and they heard a stir and a moan. Then Darius (who knew enough to know how to make it sound very painful) made an ear screaching note come from the normally beautiful instrament._

 _They heard a loud bang as Erik lurched forward, smashing face first into the coffin lid and yelling a second later "OW, MY Nose… hole…"_

 _The two, despite their horrible hang overs laughed. Then Nadir yelled loud enough for the Phanton to hear "So last night after burning down the manager's office, you managed to get stuck three. Bloodykeys. All. night. So now, we are going to play you a beautiful wake up song."_

 _They heard "OH DON'T YOU DARE YOU ASS HO-" but then it was cut off by Nadir slamming as hard as he could on as many keys as possible. To say the least, Erik always locked his organ room on New Years after that._

Christine was on the floor laughing in tears. "Oh god I am never letting him live that down! Please Nadir, tell that at the wedding!"

"Why of course! What kind of best man would I be if I didn't"

She sat up sighing wiping tears from her eyes. Then she looked over at the instrument intself, which she could see through the half open door. That is when an idea hit her.

"Hey Nadir, you know how therapy has been… rough on him?"

He sombered up quickly "yes"

"I think I have an idea… You know how we used piano as a destraction before his lung thing?" He nodded "Well, to play a piano, you have to do almost all of our excersizes in some form. What if we helped him work towards that? Set it up so he can slowly migrate from one hand, to two, two using a chair, to a bench, using the peddles, why its perfect!" she yelled excitedly.

He had to hand it to her, it was a good idea. "We will tell him tomorrow then. I am sure he will be delighted. Now, I think it is time for us to retire, because moving that piano again will take a lot of energy." She smiled and said her good nights.

When she returned to her room, Erik was asleep, but on her pillow was a note that said

 _Nadir is one to talk. I will tell you some stories about him soon… And yes, I would be quite delighted._

 _-Love, Erik_

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Phew, that was a long chapter. But deffinantly one of my favourites. Now it is 1 in the morning and I myself must retire.


	48. Chapter 48

Some more, fair warning next chapter really dig deep on Eriks past, like first person shit. Of when he was tortured, so if you have issues with that, be careful. But it is not all sad, there is some recovery too. Even I am debating writing this bit, but I figure he would have to talk it through more with her eventually, that he would want some closure. So be warned.

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Erik was whimpering in his sleep. Christine was just emerging from the bathroom to see this. At first it was just a few whimpers. She got slightly worried and sat down in the chair next to the bed. She had been up to go make breakfast (Asal usually cooked lunch and dinner and stayed up nights to make as it was quieter and to make sure Christine didn't need any help with Erik) and to start moving the piano in.

Erik began to toss and Christine grew more concerned. He began to act like he was being beaten by unseen forces. He was crying and mouthing the words he could no longer speak, until finally his eyes flew open. He was shaking like mad and upon seeing Christine he burst into gut wrenching sobs. She flew to him and held him close. "Shh, its ok, it was only a dream" she chanted softly, rubbing his back lightly.

After about ten minutes he seem to calm slightly. Though his eyes still darted dangerously around the room. She handed the notepad to him and he scribbled _Not dream, memory. Bad… Bad memory. Erik.. Erik.. What will Erik do, he is…_

But the musical genius could not think of what else to say. He was still scared, still hurting, after so many years. Christine looked at him and sighed saying "Oh poor Erik… I wish… I wish there was a way I could know more. That I could understand more about your past, to help you…"

His eyes locked on hers. She wanted to know, to help him. He couldn't… Think of reliving that night again but… Having someone be there now, with him in his, terrified mind, did… seem better.

He nodded and she looked confused. She really hadn't asked a question. "Erik why are you nodding love?" This worried her. Was he hallucinating?

 _There is a way… Erik. Erik can't relive all again to write it. He is too scared to. But he has a way you can know, and he won't have to be alone in the knowing… But should he curse Christine with his mind? So tainted and warped? A mind that can kill, can do all sorts of magical things. Dark magic indeed… Should Erik tell her or show her?_

She held his hand tightly. It had been a while since he had been this off kilter. So off kilter he had begun to take on this strange almost showman like persona. She knew it was him trying to cope, to seem more in control, but that did not change her worry for him. But regardless of this monolog she became the one to nod.

 _For tonight… I just.. You should have just tonight's… horror story. Third book shelf in the corner of our room. Volume 5, green binding. The date would be July 15th of that year… I… I know that date well… I sat too long, pouring over. Never mind, get it and… And read it later. I don't want to see you read it. I just… can't. Thankfully it is one I chose to translate as practice when I first arrived here. It was sort of therapeutic to go through old journals and practice translating by putting them in French… But I was different then… Healthier, but more dead and hollow inside, nothing scared me because what can scare that which does not have anything to protect from things to be fearful of? Now I have a reason.. You. But please, I. I want you to, to talk about it with me. But I can't bare to see you with that book of, of evil._

She read slowly, still holding his hand. "Ok, thank you Erik. I will. I promise. Now, I dare say you are tired, do you want to try to sleep again right now?" He shook his head quickly. His breath still came in short huffs of fear. She needed to get his mind off.

Then she remembered their plans for later that day, and figured why not move it over again now. "Wait right here love." She said, not really thinking of the fact he couldn't do much else. She came into the livingroom where Darius was sleeping on a small cot they had found in Eriks storage area. Nadir had claimed the couch and looked like he was about to fall off. She gently shook Darius's arm and the Persian opened his eyes, blinking owlishly.

"Wazzmatter?"

"Erik… had one of the worst nights I have seen him ever have. Total mental breakdown. And I have him calmer now, but he doesn't want to sleep and so to distract him I was wondering if you'd help me move the piano in there early, and maybe that would take him mind off?"

Darius took a second to focus on her words then turned on his back saying "Mllaright, gimme a second. Hey, hey Naddy boy" He said shaking Nadirs shoulder.

He did not open his eyes but said calmly, "Rather early isn't it? Is something wrong?"

"Christine and I need help moving the piano in a minute for Erik."

Nadirs eyes opened a little then he shut them quickly. "Christie, I don't mind helping, but after last night, my head seems to… not want the concept of light to exist"

Christine giggled and Darius who sat up rolled his eyes "No matter how much we drink, or how often, he _allwaaayyss_ gets some form of hangover"

Nadir responded by a simple rude hand gestrure as Christine giggled again and went to brew them some coffee. While the water boiled she went to check on Erik.

He was wide awake and crossing his arms lightly, his eyes dancing around the room to a rhythm only he knew. 'Well at least he isn't crying… I think he can hold on a little bit' She thought to herself as she went to get the other two coffee.

Within ten minutes they were ready to move in the piano. Christine went over to the bed to sit with Erik while he was so… agitated. He huddled close to Christine, not caring who saw him being weak for once. Nadir was quite surprised, he had never seen Erik be so… vulnerable. Perhaps this piano was a good idea.

She kept him calm, humming softly, holding his head lightly to her bosom. He never had this kind of comfort before Christine. But it was nice. New but nice. He felt a tad safer in her arms than alone with his thoughts. Finally they got the piano back next to the bed. Christine spoke up "We should move the bed back a little so when he is ready in his own time to sit up, he can."

They nodded and she, not wanting Erik to be startled by the moving bed, gently picked him up and held him close while they moved a little away from the bed. So he could still reach it while laying down, but when he felt ready he could put his feet down. She laid him back down and kissed him softly. She turned to the two, now slightly more awake Persians. "Thank you, the both of you. I hate to ask but could one of you or Asal do breakfast? I think it's best if I stay with Erik this morning"

"As do I" Nadir offered kindly. They both bowed their heads and left to go make breakfast.

She turned to Erik who was eyeing the piano. His hand wretched out, shaking, and he did a simple scale. He seemed to sigh in relief with each passing note. He knew he had to actually take it easy now, and he was fine with that at this moment because he wanted simple. Simple could be very mind numbing and calming. So that's what he played. A soft, lullaby, that still sounded as if god were playing it himself Christine thought.

He couldn't go very far range wise as he could only reach one hand up there, but even that gave him some relief. With each note he seemed to float away from the memories of old devils and demons. After a few minutes he started to think of how much he missed Christine singing while he played…

So, he improvised a simplified version of a soft aria they had spent months on over a year ago. She gasped with delight, recognizing it. He smirked a little and went to start from the beginning, gesturing with his free hand he was about to start again.

She started right on time, she sang softly in his ear, just enjoying the song with him. If he had been in a lesson he would have criticised her clarity a little, and she was slightly flat at the second decrescendo. But they were not in a lesson. They were simply content participants in the soft song.

After he finished he blinked sleepily. His hand fell back to his side, too tired to play. She smiled softly at him. She began to rub his hand and sang old swedish lullaby's. And soon his eyelids drooped, and he fell into a deep sleep. Only this time there was music there. Happy sweet music his Christine had given.

Once he was asleep, she sat up. Her mind, which had been so focused on getting him to sleep, instantly snapped to the journal.

She stood and began to approach the book shelf apprehensively. On the way back to there room she eyed the kitchen and working on a whim of foresight she grabbed a rather large bottle of whiskey.

She felt slightly awkward reading his past, while he slept in front of her. But he wanted her to, so she flipped to the date he asked her to go to…

 _Erik… Erik does not know what to think… He feels so very unsafe… I don't want, why? I am so confused… My family, are they really my friends? I… I don't know… So confused. Erik Confused. Erik is only nine, he… Let… Let Erik maybe write today and find out, see in… see after, what. What happened. Even though my ribs ache, my body… it hurts so much… but I must…_

 _I woke this morning, gingerly checking the wrap on my arm. Today was performance day, as it always was every three days. Broken bones or not, I had to get up. I was lucky. Mother had not come home last night and was probably off drunk in the small storage tent next to where we kept the ale. She slept there more than she did at home. Which was good._

 _I made my way quietly to the medical tent, camp was quiet. Soft golden light was seeping across the Persian soil in the morning light. I don't know why this is coming to mind now, but it is. Erik fascinated on this light, it is the colour of my eyes, eyes that have s- not yet Erik._

 _Inside I changed my masks quickly, favouring my black doctors one over the bages sack I otherwise wore. The black one I like. Black you can hide in and no one can notice. No one knows you are there. Also it hides blood and dust and sweat better as to not scare the patients who already fear me. There is something so intimate in wearing black in this part of my day. I feel more in control. Like for once People don't fear Erik._

 _Sick people really don't have the energy to fear Erik, something rare in my life. Today it was two patients. Same as yesterday. A daughter who had been transporting the elderly woman in a carriage to a hospital when their carriage had broken down. The daughter had broken her ribs when the carriage flipped but the mother escaped with some scraps and the same illness she had had moments before. Thankfully for them someone from camp found them and brought them to me._

 _There was something calming about the way I gave the elderly a few spices for her cough and rewrapped the young girls bandage. They never commented on the mask._

 _Mask mask mask_

 _Mask is fine, its when its off and people can- no. not yet_

 _After that I made my way down to my tent again. I knew better than to ask for food. Erik was a monster and therefore did not deserve food. I didn't we don't,_

 _ARGH stop IT!_

 _So I played piano, and a passer by, a mother, stopped in and out of slight sympathy gave Erik bread. Then she sneered when Erik ate it like an animal and spat a little. Was it sympathy then? Yes Erik stop being stupid. Pathetic beast._

 _Erik was not too bad though because she walked away without hitting him. Maybe the leader put her up to it, he usually did so his star did not die. Erik had no clue why he called him a star, and I really don't care._

 _I played piano. A song I heard while we visited a town a few weeks ago… It was a dance of some sort, not that Erik did much dancing. No I watched and played. My arm ached where last week flesh had been gouged out. But I shrugged. Pain was expected and not mourned._

 _After a while I sighed and had to rip off the bandages. I wasn't allowed them on stage. And that was where I headed, as the sun set. I do not know why, but I remember it vividly once more, and with its sinking, it took my fate._

 _I stood on the stage. Tired. Erik was always tired but never more so than when he was performing. He began by playing his piano he had brought out with every show. I sang. The crowd ooed at the faceless boy who could play. Erik smiled at this. Erik loved it when the crowd was awed and his music could show them who he really was, and not this carcas._

 _And then the song was done, my magic performed. Now the final act, as the leader ripped off my masks. Screams. Always screams. Scream after scream after scream. Erik is quite bored of screams. What do they do for us as a species really? What does it say about us if our first response to something terrifying is to make noise and draw more attention to ourselves? Then again, people usually would come to help if someone screamed. But not me. Not Erik. No._

 _Erik wasn't allowed to scream. When Erik did, he was being bad. So maybe what good does it do Erik to scream really._

 _After the pockets were picked and I was laughed at, screamed at, and humiliated the leader announced the bidding._

 _Some people left, some always do. Some only wanted to stay and watch. Watch the devil's son be tortured. And then…_

 _Then.._

 _Then there were the actual bidders. The heros of mankind that would torture the demon. Bring him as close to death as possible. All for some gold and laughter of course. That's all it cost, to protect people from me. To put Erik in his place._

 _A small, weasel of a man jerked forward, first in line for my torture. I watched as Erik was slapped hard across his misshapen face. Eriks eyes focused on Hamid, his friend. He kept guard over Erik, no make sure nothing fatal or too life altering occurred to his pathetic body. The weasal started to punch and kick the boy. But He was not done with me. He ripped off Eriks clothes. Hamid smirked as the crowd booed. Hamids smirk meant Erik did good right? Then Weasal blocked his view and slashed his shoulder open with a knife, Erik made noise as blood began to flow from the wound. A scar to be on top of another and soon to be topped by another. Then Weasel.. W_

 _Knife.. He had.. He he he he…_

 _He grabbed Erik and slashed E-Eriks penis._

 _Lights, that's what flooded. So many lights. All brought pain. The world spun… and spun and spun and spun and is spinning. Erik forgot for a moment what happened. Next he knew Hamid was in front of him, snarling slightly, but was wrapping Erik. He yelled something…_

" _No more blood, he will die of blood loss or shock if you do. Next" He got up and when to his corner in the little ring Erik was thrown into, every three nights. The weasel gave him one last hard kick in the stomach before leaving. A few others followed, disappointed that there would not be any more demon blood spilled._

 _The next man was more of a bear than man. Bald pink head. Erik remembers…_

 _He laughed and said "I can make him squeal with out blood ey" and he grabbed Eriks leg, and snapped it._

 _Erik did not make a sound. He felt the familiar wave that only came when you broke bones. He would surely need a cane for a few weeks after tonight to make his leg usable again. Erik stared up, my eyes clouded by pain. My vision blurred as fist after fist landed. Broken rib, wham, broken hip. After five minutes Erik nearly passed out. Erik wanted to die. He always did when this happened. But still he had been trained by his mother's many beatings to not make noise._

 _Then the man, man of true evil…_

 _Erik… Erik does not understand… Erik_

 _Erik is not entirely Erik anymore. I think he took something from me._

 _I remember his sneer, the campfire making his face a glowing orange and he said "I have a better idea."_

 _He roughly yanked down his pants. Then he grabbed Erik and forced him to stand on all fours. His body shook. What.. What was going on. He held Erik harshly by his broken hip._

 _Then he… He.. Erik.. Erik still feels it, hours later._

 _Erik squealed. He broke. He screamed. As the man.. He shoved himself in.. in Erik. it was a new pain… He felt warm rush down his leg a few minutes later._

 _Erik wants even now to claw out his own stomach. He can still feel it. The evil man. It hurts… No one cares that it hurts but Erik… Erik is so confused. Erik is crying… Crying right now. He does not cry. But he sobs.. Sobs… He hates water now. Hates liquid, but most of all sweat. He remembers the feeling of sweat on his back most vividly. The smell of… Of… Erik dying. Bit by bit._

 _Spiraling._

 _He is confused. His leader gave him extra bread and a rare compliment after the show but Erik… Erik could not… Erik does not know if he is good or bad because he does not know if his family is good or bad… They let this happen. But they were nice to him after. They let this happen Erik. They Are nice. Not. Are. Not. Are. Not. Are._

 _Eriks sobs hurt his stomach more. They are silent sobs, but sobs. They can not be loud. Mother is asleep on the other half of the tent. She was passed out when Erik came home._

 _Why is Erik crying._

 _Because he is not Erik_

 _But he is,_

 _Isn't._

 _Isn't the same._

 _Erik is crying, his sobs hurt his body, his stomach. His broken ribs. Broken hip. Both are securely wrapped. Erik still wants more pain_

 _Pain of ripping off his skin, his stomach. His body. God he hated himself, his body now more than ever._

 _Erik is lost, Erik is scared._

 _Erik is crying._

Christine let the book, fall softly to her lap. She wanted to throw it. Burn it. She wanted to call it a liar, say what happened in that book, never happened. But it did. All of it did. And that was only one night in his long life. Her own stomach felt hollow. She wanted to puke.

Very quickly that want turned into a need as she rushed to the bathroom. She new how he felt, and yet knew nothing at all. She wanted to scream but it would wake him. She wanted to kill them, but they were probably dead by now. Her breath came in small short spurts. Tears flowed down her red puffy cheeks. Had been since he described that sun set. Damn the sun. Damn it.

She took a calming breath. This was not about her. It was about him. Helping him. It was clear now that he wanted to talk about this, after so long. To find some form of peace or comfort. Or hell even just company in the knowledge of something that should have never happened.

She splashed her face in water. What would they talk about? She couldn't fix this. No one could. This was one of those things that had to be seen as a fact of life. Something to learn to accept. Try to move on from. Try being the key word. It was a task not to be succeeded, but always tried until you died. It was all you could do. All anyone could do. In this case especially.

She got up and went back to the bedroom, surprised to see Erik awake. He was looking, with a hollow gaze at the poisonous book on the floor. She picked it up lightly and put it in her drawer. It felt vaguely evil in her hands, when she recalled what monsters lay in its pages.

She turned back to sit next to him. His gaze followed her movements wordlessly. She took his hand lightly. For a moment, there was silence. The she asked "Sleep… Sleep better?"

He nodded. "Erik I… I don't know what to say. No that is not right. I have plenty to say. What I don't know how to do is help."

He paused, then grabbed his notepad and wrote _I don't need help because I know that I am beyond that. What I want is company, closure, answers… I have tried so many times for that, but even music can not give me that. But I think you can… You are my wife to be after all… My guardian angel… I just.. Have spent so long alone. I am still as confused as I was that day to be honest._

She nodded and said slowly "I understand. Well… You want answers right? To the questions you had in your… Account?" He blushed and looked down, bobbing his head as yes once.

"Well, I don't know why someone would do that to you. I mean, yes when you aren't expecting it and everyone is telling you to be scared, your appearance can be a little… off putting at first. But for it to evoke such anger, such hate… I do not understand. Even last year, it was your reaction to me seeing your face that scared me most. But for them to do that to a child… I do not know what to say except that they are the REAL monsters Erik. And don't forget that. As for the question if they cared, the gypsies I mean. about you I can tell you no. They would have never have done that to anyone they cared about. He was not your friend. Friends don't let their friends be hurt like that. Not ever." she had to pause because Erik began to cry.

She stroked his hand with one hand, and his head with another. "I'm sorry Erik. I know, I know it hurts, I know…" You hate crying, she finished the line in her head. "But hey, Hey, Erik. Look at me angel." He did so, trying to swallow his own tears. "You were wrong about one thing." This took him a second. Wrong? He raised his right eyebrow area, his sobbing ceased out of confusion. "You aren't alone. Not anymore. Someone did finally hear you, someone cares."

She said this, tears forming in her eyes again. Erik smiled a little as tears began to streak down his face once more. She leaned in and kissed him. It was a very wet kiss. But it was also very powerful.

After he picked up his notepad and wrote _Your kisses could make a dead man walk and angels out of devils._

She smiled at his compliment. Then a thought hit her. Worth a shot. "Could they help heal old wounds?"

He cocked his head sideways. His eyes still weary. Still shaken, like the poor nine year old boy who had suffered far too much and would suffer far more later on.

"Tell me, if you are comfortable with this. If not, I will stop and never try this again. But I wonder if this would help…" She then leaned over and tugged down his night shirt over his left shoulder. She had guessed right it seemed as there was a scar there, on top of another. She kissed it softly..

As her lips sealed on the old wound, it became less tainted to Erik. Almost like some sort of phantom pain he felt was leaving him. With her kiss there on his tainted body, it became less dirty. It had a good memory. Something safe and happy in that one spot. She pulled back.

"Did that help?" He nodded slowly. So she gently unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his ribs. Her touch was gentle, so gentle. It felt so strange to have something so light and sweet there where he had been punched and stabbed so many times. She looked up then, hand on his covers, as if seeking permission. He nodded, still slightly weary.

She pulled back his covers and kissed his stomach softly. Her lips warm against his thin stomach. For once, in that brief moment, he did not want to claw out his own intestines. His own skin. Because Christine was kissing that skin. She found it worthy enough for her plush pink lips to grace with their presence. It was a strange feeling, in that moment. To not hate his body.

She moved to the end of the bed and lifted up his pajama leg to expose his shin. She reached down and planted a kiss on his leg. Then she moved up cautiously and pulled down the corner of his pants slightly, and kissed his hip. She looked up, unsure if she should do the last kiss at this moment. The corner of Eriks mouth twitched as he wrote in response to her silent question _Perhaps we save that particular kiss for our wedding night hmm?_

She chuckled softly as she rose to readjust his blankets. It felt weird, being so light about this.

Erik felt so strange. Like… like he was comfortable almost. Like he had a very bad day at work and came home and took a nice warm bath. It didn't change the day, but it made him feel better. Still… Even in warm baths one must get out.

Christine knew this too as she said "Want me to sit you up a bit more, to reach the piano?" He smiled gratefully and nodded. He played a mix of sad and happy songs. Songs that with each note made him forget for a while what had happened so many years ago to an unfortunate nine year old boy. Instead the songs seem to make him glow. Making all the places Christine had kissed him gilmour in the dimly lit room.

D. and Asal came in and watched quietly, as did the other two Persians. Watched and listen to Eriks music. They were soft and simple songs, some more complex than this mornings. But that wasn't what made them beautiful. It was the emotion in each and everyone that made them so perfect.

Then finally the last note played, and Eriks hand fell, as its owners eyes shut and went to far of lands that only Christine's presence could show him.

She kissed his forehead and sat back smiling.

For two weeks this continued. Every time Erik had a bad dream of a memory, she would sit with him, read the journals (or what ones she could with only about half being translated to French for her ) and answers his thoughts, his insecurities. Follow that with a kiss almost wherever the old wound was. Then he would play piano for a while until falling asleep. There were of course weird ups and downs to this. Some days both would refuse to eat or drink a certain thing (like wine or meat because it looked too much like blood) or not want to be around water for too long (Erik that day had talked about when they had tried to drown him at the age of 8) but overall he was slowly becoming more comfortable with himself in ways he had never been before. He was finally able to accept the past, with Christine by his side and try to move on with his music.

The piano seemed to help with his therapy quite a bit. Both his Physical and mental therapy. The first weeks his one handed songs became more complex. His left hand, which was already his writing hand, became more and more stable. By the second week he had added his more clumsy right and for short periods and with a lot of Christines help, he could sit up on his own and play more of a range. He would still face more towards the foot of the bed than the wall, but was slowly trying to get used to turning his torso and supporting himself again.

It was after that second week they were able to remove the stitches in Eriks cheeks. Small scars littered the sunken cheeks of his skull like face, but Christine only kissed these too, saying as she liked to do with a lot of his scars "These are your battle scars love"

Later that day, when Erik was off in a more peaceful sleep (mostly thanks to his over exhaustion from staying up all night talking with Christine) Nadir pulled her aside.

She walked into the parlor wearly. Darius had coffee ready for them. She sat down in the arm chair facing the fire. Her eyes fell natural, as it usually did in this room, on the small gouge in the wood that marked where she had killed her monster. She never really felt bad about this. Well not anymore. She had talked to Erik and Nadir a few times after and had decided they were right. He was better off gone, instead of in the asylum that was his mind.

Giry had used Eriks money to paid off what remained of his servants to say he had killed himself. They seemed more than happy because he had been a very cruel person anyways and no one questioned this or bothered to investigate further. He was a depressed drunk who had killed himself according to the small bit printed about him, the disowned noblemen.

Nadir coughed a little, pulling Christine out of her reverie. "Not upset about that again are you?"

She shook her head "No no, just habit I suppose when I come in here. Just weird to think it happened so recently and yet feels like a lifetime ago."

"I wish I could say the same" Nadir mumbled to himself, but thankfully for him and his own issues no one heard. Darius was there if he needed to talk and Christine had too much on her plate as it was.

"So, what is this to discuss? I take it, it is serious judging by your 'We need to ask Christine to talk to Erik' faces"

Darius chuckled slightly "Do we really have a face for that? I mean. Your observation is not wrong, but what gave it away?"

"Your lips look half scared half concerned and your eyebrows pleading when you do." Nadir shook his head.

"Well, you are as observant as ever miss Daae."

She smirked "Soon to be Destler" she said with some pride. It wasn't everyday you married the angel of music himself.

"Well, that is what we want to talk about. Sort of at least. We want to talk about him making it _to_ day…" Darius gave a pleading look at Nadir. He was always better at dropping the bad news.

"Christine, it is high time for the surgery." He said this bluntly. Her face fell. She knew it would happen soon, but it had always seem so abstract. 'The surgery' but now it felt all too real. Just as she and Erik were finally finding some improvement, finally getting some semblance of peace, wham. The Surgery.

She wanted to argue. But knew she couldn't. It had to be done. In all honesty she was just as scared of it not working as Erik was. They were all scared. But, he had to do it. "When?"

"We were thinking next week. Give him a little time in between the last… incident and this. Also we need to get supplies. Maybe ask him for anything I can do for practice. Christine you'll have to donate again."

She waved her hands. They all knew she did not care. She sighed. Then they heard a crash and all ran to their room. Eriks torso lay on the side of the bed while his legs were still on, a lamp off the bedside table was on the floor in pieces. He was reaching trying to grab one. Tears ran down his cheeks as he tried to grab a bit of the glass that littered the floor.

Christine jumped of and pulled him back. She picked him up and carried him still crying to the living room. "Ask Asal to help clean that would you?" She said turning back. It was code for, let me handle this.

Once in the living room she laid him on the couch, his head in her lap as she tried to comfort him. This was not the first time she had encountered his self harm issues. And these were nothing compared to some things he told her he would do growing up out of fear and depression.

She started to sing and after a moment he stopped, looking up with watery eyes. "Erik, why did you want to hurt yourself love?"

With shaking fearful hands he pointed to his throat. "You overheard us didn't you?" Like a child who had been caught doing something dreadfully wrong he nodded. "Were you trying to prolong it or was it out of stress and irrational thought?" timidly he held up one skeletal finger.

"Love… We have to.. I know. I know it is scarey. To be honest I am scared… But… please we have to try. Don't you wish you could sing again? Hell, talk again?"

He didn't look at her, he knew she was right but didn't want to accept that. The giant What If hung about them in the air, a thick black shadow destroying all light in the room.

"Hey… aren't we working on accepting? Hmm" Then she reached down and kissed his throat with her featherlight touch. "Even if it does not work, I will still be here, I will still love you. Always."

He closed his eyes as the warmth of her lips seemed to linger. He could accept that, but… What if he died? He opened his eyes again. Fear engrossed those golden desert suns that were his eyes. He gestured with one hand his throat slitting. A crude way, but the only way he could think of conveying death without his writing utensils.

Her eyebrows raised "Death? Love. We have been battling death on and off this whole time. There is no need for the fear of it to stand in the way now. In fact not doing it can also kill you, and at least this way you would have… died. Trying. Which is all we can do love. Try and hope. But I think you will live love. You have suffered much worse, and besides…" She looked down at her engagement ring, gesturing her hand forward slightly. "Now you have something to live for, to bring you back"

She smiled softly and leaned in, her face hovering in front of his own lips. She spoke in a whisper "Now love, will you? Will you try?" Instead of nodding or shaking his head, he leaned up slightly and stole her lips in answer.

She pulled back after a moment, relief swelling in her heart. "Now love, do promise me one thing"

He cocked his head. "You won't try to hurt yourself to get out of the surgery again" He blushed a little and nodded.

A few hours later, after making sure he was in fact completely asleep she pulled the two men aside and said "Erik will do it, and he promised to not do anything that might… postpone it. But, near the date, I think he might…"

"Slip in and out" Nadir supplied from experience. She nodded sighing. She looked back at the door.

"So, come close to that time, he will need to be watched… and in the meantime, let us discuss tomorrow, a schedule and list of supplies. Sound good boys?"

Nadir snorted, "You sound like we are going to battle."

"We are. We are battling against the past and time itself after all" She said looking almost cocky in her confidence that they would succeed. They had to.

They had to.

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That was an emotional chapter alright. But good I think. Good Erik is finally really opening up. Now if you excuse me, it is almost 1 am and I am going to crash.


	49. Chapter 49

Dundundudundudnduddnun

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Christine had not slept a wink. She had to stay up all night because Erik kept having nightmares. She figured it was from the stress of knowing the surgery was coming. She sipped a nice cup of coffee Asal had brewed for her. She stood at the head of the dining table, its normal occupant fast asleep under sleeping medicine she had been forced to give him because she really didn't think him hearing this would help his stress levels.

Everyone else was sitting at the table. She leaned over, staring into the black coffee. She looked up. Everyone in their little group was there. "We need to set out a plan for the surgery. Plan, find out everything we need, what we need to do. Erik and Nadir have been talking, giving tips. Now Nadir, I think it'd be easiest for you to explain what the operation will entail, then we can go from there." She nodded to him and sat down.

He stood, opening a folder of sketches and diagrams in persian. He laid them out for them all to see. Meg wince at the high detail of Eriks skilled artistry. She rubbed her mostly healed shoulder subconsciously.

"We start by injecting him with a drug that will paralyze and numb his body. We can't put him to sleep because of the effect the surgery will have on his breathing. Next at the base of his neck we will inject a special die that make his major veins and arteries more apparent. Then we will need to make a small incision in the suprasternal notch, and have a thin rubber disk be deployed on top of a hose which will lead to the same pump we used for his breath training. The disk will block the trachea and push against his esophagus enough to block it. This will let him breath without access to his throat." Everyone was subconsciously rubbing their throats having been made conscious of them.

"Then comes the hard part. In between several veins are several patches of muscle that are I can cut into. I cut a line under the vocal cords, on either side of the tracheal cartilage. To tell where the vocal chord is some one will very lightly go down his throat to them and press out so I can be sure to not cut them. Once I have the lines cut I will be using suction and other tools to remove the bits from the infection left over. I will have a special mix of oils that depending on the purpose I will either shrink the very slightest to flesh that had been stretched or some to help with swelling.

While I do that someone will have to be working down his throat on the other side of the vocal chords doing the same. I will do anything that needs to be done to the vocal chords myself. Once all of his throat has been treated I will put a certain mix of herbs and other things on the flesh cut to open the throat, then sew it closed.

When we are done with that we will need to remove his tonsils as that can hold leftover bacteria in them. That I can do through the mouth. We will then coat his throat in a light anti swelling oil.

After letting that be absorbed a bit into his trachea we will then go through the mouth I will pour some liquid that will absorb and drag down anything in his esophagus. Then open the hole at the base of the throat slightly larger to allow for the rubber disk let the esophagus get flow again. Once we set him up and sooth the liquid down, he will have to be coaxed into drinking to allow for it to go down. Then we will remove the disk and close the hole quickly.

Finally, and this is most important, because we will have to set a hard cast for his throat to let the muscles heal and reattach correctly.

The biggest risk is of course cutting something like a major artery, or breaking one when cutting in. For the vocal cords the biggest risk is cutting them. We will probably have to puncture and remove any build up and cysts that have made home there. Then put a small amount of skin shrinking oil mix. Of course other complications can occur as well. We will have blood ready just incase he gets low. Thankfully for Erik I do actually have some experience in throat surgery from my days as a guard. You learn to be very adaptable as a royal guard and officer.

The oil mixes I have mentioned Erik has perfected over the years and we will definitely have to buy. We will need to make a mold for the ring Erik has a diagram for and get ruber. Alcohol of course as well. Bandages and casting equipment. I have a longer list but I think you guys get the point. Any questions?"

Everyone leaned back slightly. The task, when laid out so plainly seemed so monstrous and complicated. Darius took a swig of what was probably whiskey, then plucked up the courage to speak first. "You mentioned all your tasks, but what are our assignments?"

"Ah yes, so Christine will have to donate blood right before so she should sit and have the all important task of keeping Erik calm. Another person, the one you think has the steadiest hands should clear out the bit above the chords. Another will be in charge of checking vitals on schedule, and winding the pump. Then one will need to go in between me and the other, giving us the tools we need, cleaning blood after, running errands, things like that. One will need to probably trade with the assistant or be ready to help as well. I think Asal should be the one on standby so she can tend to little D. and keep him ok in the other room. But the rest of you, it is really up to you guys to decide. Me and Erik will go over with the other operator over more specific details. So… who is up to it?"

They all looked at each other. Christine was secretly grateful to be let out of the responsibility of having the love of her life, life in her hand. Finally Meg spoke up "hell I'll do it. I'm young, my hands don't shake, can't being a dancer and all. Besides" She then leant to the side, a cocky grin spreading across her face "I'd love to be responsible for saving the Phantom of the Opera's life" This lightened the mood considerably.

"Your head then my brave madam. I'll take vitals Naddy." Darius said finishing his cup.

Giry smiled and said "And I am fine cleaning up after. Although Meg" she turned to her daughter, "You sure you are up to this?"

She let out a long breath but nodded. "Yeah, I think I am."

Nadir nodded and went on to give them a list of supplies needed. Christine looked pale. Meg walked up to her. "You look like you need some fresh air."

"Meg… I can't Erik-"

"Is fast asleep and would want you to get out for your own mental health. Come on, we can go ahead and get supplies while we are out. Darius and Nadir have Erik. Besides, I need to pick up my pay and tell the boss how long I'll be out. Come on Christine" And as if on cue, Athena walked up and started to nudge her legs.

They both started to laugh and Christine waved her hand "All right, all right. Let me get my coat."

Within a few hours they finally huffed leaving the last store and loading the carriage. Meg sat down in a huff and Christine followed. Meg stuck her head out to the hired carriage "Hey, go to Rue Abel please" then stuck her head in.

When she looked at the girl across from her she was surprised to see her laughing hard, nearly on the floor. So on the way down the small streets Christine told her all about her dream of Erik.

When they arrived at their destination they were both giggling. Meg pointed to a cafe, bringing her cape around her closer, as it was a rather chilly day.

When they entered, they were greeted with a nice warm place, with a live string quintet. They seemed pretty good so Christine dropped a franc in their jar on her way to their chosen table, near the back.

They both ordered hot coffee and Meg was eyeing the base player. Christine threw a napkin playfully at her. "Let me guess, the bass player?"

Meg rolled her eyes "You know me, I like me a bass player. They are either tall and strong because they play or broad shouldered because they have to, to sing those _low_ notes. I like a man with a bit of muscle. Unlike someone at this table."

Christine laughed "Yeah, I think the only thing we can agree on is tall. Erik is… certainly different. But I don't know, after a moment, it really grows on you."

Meg sipped her coffee "If you say so. I don't have much against him. He is actually pretty entertaining to talk to, very… smart"

"That he is. Hey you said much, what problems do you have?"

She smirked "That he is holding the mystery of how he escaped the mob. I was there and I saw him dead on the floor myself. I wanna know how he did it. And he won't tell me. Says it is healthy for me to keep guessing."

Christine rolled her eyes "Always the magician. Unless you are me" She gave a fox's smile.

"How!? It has been driving me insane?"She looked very eager, but christine leaned back.

"Hmm… I don't know. You seem pretty sane to me." Then Meg tried to flip the table.

"I wonder you would say the same… If i tickled you" She said with an evil grin. She knew Christine's greatest weakness. She was super ticklish.

But Christine was a step ahead "Hmm. I can't decide if I should say 'hey Mr. bass played my friend thinks your ass is really hot or my friend over there wants to-"

But Meg slumped back and pouted. Christine giggled shaking her head. "Alright, alright you broke me. It's rather simple really. Nadir was there with Raoul, and stayed back with Erik. Darius joined them a minute or two after I left. They convinced Erik to survive this first, so he went and got his small vile of puffer fish poison It can slow your heartbeat to make someone seem dead. Once he was asleep, Nadir slashed his side to make it look like he stabbed himself. Then they went and got into the crowd, did the exam and Darius lured them down a wrong passage and Nadir stayed back and closed the two passages off. And now, we are at least I hope so. They do believe he is gone right?"

Meg looked annoyed "It was that simple! God I am stupid. And you are fine, they think he is long dead." Then she laughed "They are going to have a heart attack when he returns as a real ghost. Especially since there are two now."

"Two?"

"Well, I assume you will help and make him seem in more than one place at a time. To sell this ghost idea"

She cocked her head to the side "I honestly hadn't thought of it. But I suppose long as no one is hurt too badly I will. I mean, _someone_ has to run the place, and you and I both know it won't be the managers."

Meg nodded in strong agreement "You can say that again. I do ask one favour though."

"Hmm?"

Meg gave a devious smirk "I be there to see the manager's reaction when Erik returns." Christine threw her head back in laughter.

"Of course, of course." They both laughed for a while. Soon they left, grabbing some taffy from the candy store that was very 'dreamlike' as Meg teased- and eating the forbidden candy as fast as possibly.

It was a nice calm afternoon, especially in contrast to their morning. But they all knew deep down that this was the calm before the storm.

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Just have to say I am prophetic. So when the day after I wrote about christine's dream my boyfriend (the one I have mentioned is a lot like Erik, like it is kind of scary how close their personalities are, and body structure) actually got a job. As a candy man. I now write prophecies apparently. Not the first time in this story too. But what will be doubly true is if he works on halloween because they allow people to dress up for halloween. And what is his costume (that I was an amazing girlfriend about and bought him half of it)? A very accurate representation of the phantom himself. Even have a broadway mask from broadway, (we went to nyc for his birthday and it was glorious). But point being, if he works on Halloween, not only will the 'modern Erik' (as me and my nerdy as hell friends sometimes call him) be a candyman, but also the phantom will be serving candy. In a candy shop. Picture that if you haven't already. Pink apron, on top of black tailcoat (that was his 2 year anniversary present from me) and full phantom outfit, all as accurate as we could make it, down to the button count on the vest. (which I believe has the same number as the original phantom on broadway) and ring. Just picture that. The Phantom. Serving candy. Phantom. Candy.

And yes.

He is going to serve me salt water taffy damnit.

also I am not a doctor, I just am using logic, what I remember from anatomy, and what diagrams I can find online.


	50. Chapter 50

Nervous? I am. Also the hose thing is basically Erik improvising a flashlight

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"That's so strange" said Christine. Awwing at the device on a workbench table. "I've heard of more people getting these, but it's so strange in person. So bright. Can I touch it?"

"Sure but it's hot" said Nadir eyeing it cautiously. Christine touched the smooth glass of the bulb, at first timidly, but then cupped it in her hand.

"It's so warm." They had bought a small generator and bulb to better illuminate the operation in two days time. Nadir had just turned it on and was reading carefully the instructions Erik had written out for him. It was a design for a tube that would connect to a box the bulb would be in. In the tube they would use dull metals to reflect enough light out to direct and manipulate the light to see what they would be doing in operation.

"Hmmhm" He mumbled, squinting to decipher Eriks shaky hand. She sighed and mumbled something about tea, leaving him to his work. She walked into their room and stopped mid walk.

Erik was sitting up and facing the piano, for the first time on his own. His face was contorted in pain, and he was out of breath, leaning on the side of the piano, but he was up.

She rushed over to him, half happy, half concerned. She held his back, but he jerked sharply away from her touch. He shook his head and motioned to the pad abandoned on the bed.

 _No, I need to do this on my own… I… I want to feel like myself again_

"Love, you will… let me help you, I know, I know you're worried.."

He leaned into her arms still outstretched, his back finally giving, scribbling angrily, but ending with worrying hyperventilating.

 _Scared? Scared!? Erik is terrified! If he, if he, hadn't seen his Chr… Chr.._

She held him close as he began to shake. His mind was trapping itself in his worst memory. The memory of holding Christine as she died for a moment. "SHh. Hey, hey, Erik. I'm here now. For you" She pulled him back so she could stare into his eyes. She smiled reassuringly. "I gotta be. I want to be your living bride after all." He didn't smile but his breathing slowed

 _What if I never get to say 'I do'? Christine, my voice is one of the only redeeming things about me. What if I can never talk to you again? Sing? Erik is going insa- well. Erik is becoming less stable, being so silent. I don't know how to accept letting someone else have control over that…_

"Well…" She said trying to think of how to calm him. "Erik. It is something that will happen, accept or not. I'm scared too, if I'm honest. It terrifies me, to lose you. But" She paused, wiping a tear from Eriks hollowed cheek. "Dreading it, hurting myself, hurting yourself, won't help. So if you want to play. That's fine. But tell me, let me help you. I'd hate for you to get hurt. I know you don't care but… How would you feel if our situations were reversed?"

The corner of his mouth twitched _I'd watch you 24/7 barely sleeping, not letting you move unless needed… But we both know I get a little… Dramatic."_

She laughed, "A little? A little? Love you BURNT DOWN AN OPERA HOUSE because you were mad" He smirked and shrugged a little. He couldn't deny it. "Now love, do you want to play or rest?" His hands reached out and he tried to play a somewhat more hurried song than normal. His hands slipped once, twice. He on occasion would have trouble playing as of late. But normally he would play easy songs to stay within his ability. But on the third slip of his right hand he balled his hands in fists and slammed the keys. Then he placed his elbows on the keys and put his pale shaking face in his hand. Tears trickled softly down his cheek. She rubbed his back softly. "Come on love, let's lay back"

He didn't resist Christine's touch, and she laid him back down. He turned his head to the right, away from her. After a moment longer he manages to calm enough to write

 _I can't even play like I used to… Never again will I be that great. I'm a broken, sobbing mess. I have been through many things, but I have always had my music… I'm so frightened…_

She grabbed his hand "Love, you and I both know you are too goddamn stubborn to let that happen. You _will_ get through this. There is no need to fear. A week ago you couldn't even play with your right hand. Now you can and you are getting better at a fast rate too. Just trust me love. Please…" She got an idea "And _when_ you do, I want you to play and sing me a song. One I have never heard, where you put all your life, our life, all the world passion, in one song. Will you?"

 _You have more confidence in me than I deserve… But yes, I will try… but please Christine, please say you'll still love me if I fail…_

"Oh love of course, of course. I just want something for you to strive for, now why don't y-" But just then Nadir came in with a bottle of gin. He stopped and blushed. Eriks face, which was soft with the emotion only Christine was allowed to see, grew slightly angry at having been discovered with such soft emotion.

"Am I uh-"

Christine smiled politely "No you are fine. We were about done." He nodded and came close. Christine moved to lay on her side as Nadir took the bedside seat.

"Erik… With the surgery coming up, I read in your notes that you should drink a bit before bed each night to help kill any bacteria in your throat…"

Erik glared at the ceiling but motioned for the drink. He knew it would hurt horribly. Nadir knew this too and poured a rather large shot. Christine held Erik up as he threw back the drink. Erik squeezed his eyes shut hard, the drink searing his damaged throat. After a moment he opened his eyes to look at them. "You doing ok Erik, with all of this."

He started to write, his frustration finally allowed to _How do I feel? How do I feel! Nadir… How do you think I feel? My life is going to shit and I must tell you this. Yes, while you have done more for me than I could ever ask or deserve but just know… You are going to be handling an instrument that even god would weep at. A voice that has made angels fall in love with devils. And if you fuck that up… I will not be the only one in pain. I will personally do to you things that would make what I did for the Sultana seem relaxing… Are we clear_

Erik felt a bit better in writing this. Like he still had a bit of the power and fear of what he once commanded. A bit more control. Nadir read it and sighed. He knew Erik was doing this from stress. Then he smirked a little "Feeling a bit like your old self I see. Though I must say I find your lack of threatening arson as well, disturbing."

If Erik could he would growl, but instead he just gave Nadir a glare of if looks could kill. Which was ruined by Athena deciding it was time to jump up and settle into her favourite spot. On Eriks head.

They all broke out in laughter. Erik gave a pleading look to Christine and she moved he cat to sit next to him. Nadir bid his goodbye and Christine turned to Erik "Love, why don't we get some sleep?"

He nodded, exhausted. She smiled as she went to grab her nightgown and stepped behind the little changing wall. When she settled into bed she grabbed his hand and kissed his forehead. He smiled a little then quickly fell asleep.

Christine laid on her back looking at the ceiling. For hours she stayed like this. Since she did not have to worry about staying strong for Erik, she let her doubts and mind wonder. Not only that, but she had been trying to avoid sleep in general as of late. She was still trying to cope and wrap her head around her life so far and this was the only time she could. Not to mention she was terrified of the surgery as well and kept having nightmares about it everytime she closed her eyes. After about four hours she decided to get up. With Erik so tired he was sleeping hard for once.

She got up and went to make coffee. In all reality she felt horrible. She was exhausted and her stomach burnt with that exhaustion. She felt nausea hit as she made coffee and had to run to the guest bathroom as to not wake Erik. She felt like falling asleep over the toilet as she half leaned on it. That is when she jumped out of her skin as Darius spoke behind her.

"Erik would have a heart attack if he saw you right now. Then he would make you go to bed for a year"

Christine looked up and scoffed "Well, that's the point isn't it? For him not to know… I don't. Want him to worry about me. I don't want anyone to. I don't deserve to be worried over"

Darius bent down and sat next to her "Christine if anyone in this whole house deserves help it's you. Ever since you came back you have helped. You helped give a dying man hope and a chance, you gave a woman who had nowhere to go a safe home for her and her family-"

"And got Nadir tortured and my best friend hurt and-"

"And they would all do it again in a heartbeat. You know why?"

"Hmm?"

"We ALL care about you and Erik. Look Christine. I can't say I understand what you've been through. No one can. Well, except maybe Erik. But point being I know it is hard for you to sleep, and so I am asking, please, let us help. You're getting sicker by the day, and that won't help anything right now. And Erik will catch on pretty soon… and I would not want to be there when he does. So come on. I'll make you a sleep tonic and you can maybe get rest"

"Sleep tonic, sleep tonic. I'm scared that will be the only way I can sleep soon enough."

Darius smiled warmly "Do you really think Erik would let you get addicted? Christine when he is well, I am sure he will make sure you sleep every night just fine, without the medication. But until then we will use this because he needs you well rested." She pursed her lips. She didn't like to be wrong but she couldn't argue. Darius stood and offered a hand "Come on, lets go have some. I need a bit of good shut eye too. We all do it seems."

She grabbed his hand and he guided her to her room.

After ten minutes of him giving her the brew she was fast asleep. Erik woke the next day, before her for once. She was curled on her side, head tucked down, up next to his shoulder. He stared at her for a moment, admiring her sleeping beauty. He himself was just waking and it was nice for a moment, to watch her blond hair swirl around on the pillow, her slender waist rise and fall with each breath.

He sighed and opening his eyes more his memory and mind snapped into focus. Today was the day before the operation. He shuddered. Christine mumbled and woke with his movement. She blinked at his face, trying to get him into focus only to find it stressed and anxious. Then she remembered the date and knew why. She sat up, pulling him closer.

"Hey love?" He tilted his head towards her. "I know that… You're nervous for tomorrow, so why don't I stay in here all day, and we have a lie in eh? We won't think about it. It won't help to dread. We can focus on other things… Maybe I could read? Would you like that? Me stumbling over book lines?"

He shook his head. He wasn't in the mood for books. He was in the mood for running as far as he could from his current problems. But that was not an option. "Well, how about more small questions? Those seem to help"

He let out a breath he had not realized he was holding. Questions perhaps. He nodded and laid back onto her shoulder. "Want me to go first?"He nodded. She thought for a moment. Something that could distract him. "Worst production the Opera has ever had and where you fought the manager or gers on every level and they ignored you."

He smirked a little. He knew exactly which one had made the old Opera owner very regretful at his own karma. _Orfeus. I told him over and over that it was far below a soprano's range but he refused to listen. Then we fought on props, tempo speed, if we should adapt a key signature. At opening night it was so bad half the crown was gone by intermission. The next day the manager came up to box five and left a note of apology outside. I refused to help or even show my presence for three more productions. Then the fourth I told him what to fix and it became one of our greatest hits. He did not fight much more with me after that._

She giggled and shook her head "the new ones are still just as clueless according to Meg you know. Alright, your go"

They spent the rest of the day like this. Trying everything to avoid tomorrow. Everyone else in the house was moving rather slow, as if in mourning. They avoided Eriks room, trying to keep focused. Darius was practicing checking vitals while Meg and Nadir went over and over tomorrow operation. But soon night began to fall and Darius walked softly into the room. Erik was half asleep, listening to Christine tell him something about her childhood. They both looked so peaceful for once. And Darius hated to shatter it. But he must.

Christine paused looking at him. He sighed and said looking down. "We are all going to take a light sleep tonic. And Erik is supposed to have a drink, use the bathroom, and bathe. Do you need help with any of that, or can we go ahead and…"

Christine bowed her head and said a little tired "I am fine Darius. You all get sleep. I'll look after him. But I would appreciate if you left some tonic out just in case…"

Darius nodded and quickly left the room, leaving Erik with a heavy weight on his stomach. She sighed looking at her fiance. Then she took the gin from the small tray of bed side medical needs off her side and poured him a glass. He downed it wincing a lot. She rubbed his hand as the pain slowly passed. Then she went to pick him up and take him to the restroom, seating him as gently as she could on the floor while she turned the tub on. His mind still stuck on his imminent doom. Life was cruel. If it weren't for Christine he'd have zero faith that it would work. But the fact she was there was enough for him to have some form of hope. But he still had high doubts.

She snapped him out of his reverie by asking "Want me to undress you or do you want to try?"

He pointe to himself, any amount of self control was preferable. So with trembling hands he tried to unbutton his shirt. He got about halfway down before he clenched his fist in frustration as yet again the small button slipped from his thin fingers. Christine sighed as she finished the shirt for him. His mouth was an even thinner line than normal. If he could he would be cursing out loud. When she was done she pulled back and let him strip his pants and under pants off.

Courteously she looked at the water. She of course had seen him nude many times before, but she still tried to give him privacy when she could. When she heard movement stop she turned back to a nude erik who was lightly crossing his arms staring at the floor. She didn't say a word as she scooped him up and put him in the warm water.

He relaxed a little as the heat soothed his bodies constant ache. Christine began to sing as she gently raise one of his arms to wash. She usually did this while she bathed him, and he was glad. He tried to focus on her words, her voice as she sung softly Flower Duet" from Leo Delibes's "Lakme". But still the dread continued. Then a question hit him. One he knew he wanted answered…

When she finished bathing him, she sat him on the toilet, tactfully leaving the room to go put up clothes, grateful that he could wipe himself now. After she made the bed she went to get him and soon enough laid him down in bed. He grabbed his notebook and wrote very quickly _What would you do if I do die tomorrow?_

She sighed and lovingly stroked his cheek. "I really don't know. Die an old maid I suppose… Throw you a big funeral, maybe haunt the opera in your honour… But I could never sing again."

This caught Eriks attention. The thought of a world without Christine's angelic voice was unthinkable. _Why?_

She replied simply "Because I would have no one to sing for. What would you do if I died?"

Eriks reply was as she expected _Follow you_ He paused then added. _Anywhere you go, let me go too…_

She nodded. Of course she didn't want him to do that. But she knew this was one of those facts about people. It was the kind of characteristic that was just engraved in their being.

Erik shuddered again, as his mind flashed to when Christine had nearly died from fever. Instinctively he reached for her hand. He needed it. To feel its warmth and know she was there. She seemed to sense this and pulled his hand up to her heart. He breathed easier feeling its beat against his thin hands.

"Erik. Feel that. This is why I know you will survive tomorrow. Because I know you will do anything and everything to make sure you can feel this again." She said this softly but with an air of confidence. He looked into her eyes and knew she was right. She kissed his lips softly, but her brain decided to play on her paranoia by asking 'what if this is your last kiss?' and so Christine instead of pulling back, began to kiss more passionately.

Erik was a little surprised by the sudden change in mood but complied and followed. How he wished they could stay like this forever, they both wished it. But Christine knew Erik needed air so she pulled back. He smiled, still feeling his lips tingling.

Every kiss he got from her always took him by surprise. He was not used to love like this, and he doubted he ever would be. But this only made him treasure each kiss more. She kissed him again softly and whispered "Go to sleep love"

With the kiss drowning out his fear he was able to drift asleep. Christine sighed thankfully. She looked at his face. Thinking what if this was the last time she could truly see him. On this thought it made Christine fight sleep even more. She wanted to memorize his every feature so well she could draw his reflection by memory.

The way his cheek bones, so delicate in their thin lines gave way to his jaw. Like a tent with its concave slope. The way his chin came to a perfect point, highlighting his slender neck. They never talked much on appearance, for obvious reasons, but she secretly loved his neck and had often caught herself fantasizing kissing it. His thin lips moaning he-

She shook her head. Now was not the time for those thoughts. Now was the time to memorize him… The reason why made her cloth headed with stress. Her stomach felt tense with the very idea. So she went on to just focusing on him.

He was like a strange piece of art. Not beautiful in normal standards, but in its own way, he was. She sat there for a few hours, going back and forth between stressing about tomorrow and her memorizing him. Slowly his eyes twitched. And out of nowhere he jerked forward. His mother had been before them in the dream, but when he opened his eyes, she was still there screaming insults.

Erik moaned and turned, feebly hitting the air, terrified at the figure in front of him. Christine grabbed his arms, shouting his name. Finally He looked at her as she said firmly over and over "Look at me Erik, it's not real, it's ok"

Erik eventually calmed and held her close, sobbing. Finally he calmed enough to write

 _Saw mother. I I saw her. Why won't she go away?_

Christines heart broke "She is love she is. And her… her affect on you, it will fade one day perhaps… But love, she can't hurt you. She can't." He was shaking, wide eyed. But slowly he nodded. Christine then said "want to play any love?"

Normally he would agree, but he was too shaken. Instead he wrote _drink_ Christine sighed "Erik… if it were any other night I would, but we have to monitor how much you have because the surgery in the morning…" His eyes went wide. With the nightmare he had forgotten. She hugged him close. "Here, there is a little tonic for emergency, maybe we can have a little… Because love, you need sleep." He nodded but when she turned to go, he weakly grabbed her wrist. She paused long enough for him to write _please, don't leave Erik alone, she might come back…_

Christine nodded and picked Erik up, taking him as quietly as she could to the kitchen. She laid him on the chair, making sure he was as comfortable as possible as she worked. While it brewed she came over to Erik and held him close, silent comfort in his dark mind. Finally the tea was brewed and she managed to tuck him back in and give him the medicine. He looked half scared at it, the thing that would make him sleep, but he looked at Christine and drank it. She settled his head on her breast, half sitting up herself, and stroked his hair, quietly singing him to sleep.

After that she was more alert. She did not want to sleep, for fear of not being there for him as well as battling her own demons. Sometimes she felt she feared the necessary function than Erik. She was always so scared of her not being there for his nightmares, or if something happened. What if she had been asleep when the mask broke? He would be dead. And this frightened her, more than she would say. Then add in the constant nightmares of the night of the murder, of seeing the dead who have already passed in front of her.

She didn't want to see that.

So she refused to sleep.

Instead she watched over Erik until Nadir came knocking on their door. Christine swallowed. This was it. She said quietly to come in, and Nadir entered. He took one look at her and asked "bad night?"

She nodded and said quietly, trying to let the sleeping figure of her concern have as must rest as he can. "He hallucinated… His mother. Had to use sleep tonic. It was… Rough on him. And hard to watch. He wouldn't even let me leave him alone to make the tonic, had to take him to the kitchen with me." She sighed and stroked his hair. Then said in a choked voice "I am so scared Nadir…"

Nadir came close and hugged her lightly, letting her whip away her tears into his sleeve. "You've been so strong, you both have, and soon. Soon it will be ok. It will be over. You only have to last a little longer. One more day." She nodded and collected herself. He was right. Her Erik needed her. "And, after this, you miss Daea are going to have a nice long rest. No if ands or buts, or so help me alah I will personally tie you to a bed so you can sleep. Because honestly you look like Erik did after his chandelier… Incident."

"What do you mean?"

Nadir sighed, looking at his friend to make sure he was asleep "He… He didn't sleep. For weeks it seemed. Only ate what I forced him to eat, drank profusely though, and composed. To say the least I was worried. But finally I calmed him down. But that was awhile ago."

"I think you mean lifetime ago… You know, he asked for a drink last night."

"He does when he's stressed and incapacitated. Thankfully for you he surprisingly is not angry when he is hammered. Just very…"

"Emotional" supplied Darius as he came in. "They are almost done setting up the cot. Asal has breakfast and coffee. Want me to bring some?"

Nadir shooed him away saying "Thank you, and no, I'll get some in there, Christine. Perhaps it is best you wake him without our company. I'll have some breakfast for you. While we set you up and make it easier for us, it might be best to eat then, as to not antagonize him with food. Then again, Erik rarely complains of hunger."

She replied "Sounds good. We will join you in a moment, does he need to change?"

"No shirt, and you might want to wash off his neck right before you bring him in."

She nodded as they left. She looked down, where Erik was still asleep on her chest. She shook him lightly. "Erik.. Erik honey" After a few tries he blinked tiredly, then his eyes went wide. His head started to shake back and forth. No, no, not yet. "Love, love, look at me. Look at me."

He finally did. She took a breath and said soothingly,

"Erik.. I know you are scared, and so am I. But honey. It's time. And no matter what, just know _you will always have me. Until the very end._ Whether that be in a few minutes, hours, months, years, centuries, forever, you will _always have me_. I will be right with you. Holding your hand. Loving you. So really,

 _What is there to fear?"_

He wrote in reply, looking still doubtful and scared _not ever having enough time with you_

She smiled a little at that "love, there will never be enough time. Never is when people love each other like us. Hence why we have to make every second count. And how we get more is taking this risk, and doing the surgery. So love, are you ready?"

 _For you, yes_ He still looked scared, and who could blame him. He was putting his entire life, Christine's most precious love, and his voice, an instrument only surpassed by Christine's angelic voice, into someone else's hands. But he could do it, only for her. She with his consent, then slowly removed his night shirt and after wiping his throat clean, she carried him out of the room.

In the living room the furniture had all been pushed aside. Except for a cot, a table, and couch. On the table sat the small generator and light. The cot had fresh sheets and medical supplies on a tray that shared vicinity with the generator. The couch was slightly higher than the cot and had sheets as well. She gently laid him on the sheets and tucked him in. Nadir rolled out a strange hanging curtain and put it next to the cot. He then helped Christine lay down on the couch. She was just high enough to be able to lay down and still see him. For now she sat up and stroked his cheek, trying to not eye the emergency transfusion kit, hoping it would not be filled with her blood soon.

Darius brought her a croissant, still warm. She ate it quickly as to remind Erik how hungry he was. Erik did not care. He kept glaring at the tray of supplies that would soon be dismantling his body. Once Christine had finished, Nadir came over, with the others and gave Erik his final sip of drink to clean out his throat. He winced. Then Nadir said " Ok Erik, I am going to have to cut a slit and put in the breathing device. Then we can numb you. But it will hurt a lot, and you will have to be very still. You understand?" Erik nodded and held Christine's hand, turning his knuckles even paler than before.

Nadir looked up at Meg "Could you hold his head still. Just in case." Erik looked up at meg with wide eyes as she did so. Nadir then pulled over the curtain and drape it just under his eyes. He started to vibrate. It reminded him of the breathing mask.

"Erik, Erik look at me, it is ok" Christine said, rubbing the back of his hand. He relaxed enough for Nadir out of nowhere to start the incision, while Erik was relaxed. His eyes went wide with pain and he wanted to scream as it felt as if he were being stabbed in the throat. Because he was. Madam giry used a small suction device made of rubber and wrags to clean the blood. Nadir then inserted the tube and pulled the string to loosen the rubber disk. Darius then cut on the breathing machine.

While they worked to seal and clean the site Erik was in torture as he heard the monstrous machine and his throat lit aflame. He was bewildered with the white hot pain. But he kept still. Only because he could see her eyes. Eyes that could always anything from hell. Christine wanted it to stop, looking into those eyes, eyes in utmost pain.

Pain that Madam Valerium had died wearing.

She took a deep breath. She needed to be strong. Then finally after an eternity (maybe five minutes) much to everyone's joy Nadir announced he would now inject the medication that would numb his body.

This is where Christine came in, because with how risky this all was, he needed to be awake, and it was her job to keep him so. Slowly his eyes relaxed and everyone could take a breath of relief.

They waited ten minutes for the medication to spread. It was unnerving and traumatizing to see Eriks eyes, staring at her, unblinking, unmoving. As if he had already died. She would have believed it if Darius had not been as kind to call out his vitals every few minutes. She could only imagine how weird it was to be awake and not moving at all or feeling. Nadir had told her what to watch out for to show how he would look asleep like this. Small eye twitched up, glazed eyes. She kept constant vigilance.

It was a weird sensitisation, to be able to move or feel, but just see. Like he was looking through a window, or a cage. But as long as he focused on Christine, he would be alright. But still it was strange, to not feel pain, after it had accompanied him for so long. All his life really. Even when he was healthy, his damaged bone structure would ache, his legs especially. But he grew to ignore it, but now he felt so different that it was gone, lighter. He wondered if this is how normal people felt. His heart skipped a beat when he heard Meg tell where his vocal chords where. He hadn't even known her hand was in his mouth. Nadir then announced he was dying Eriks veins.

Christine was dying to peak behind the curtain but knew she had to keep eye contact. Still she wondered what dyed veins looked like. The others however could see, and it was odd, to see the translucent skin turn murky purple with lines, big and small. Nadir found two spots where there was hardly any dye, and then carefully, as careful as he could he cut two holes into his throat and placed two clamps to hold the skin apart. "Madam Giry, the light" and so with light, he began to pick bits of dried and decayed blood and flesh. Applying oils. There was so much damage. Meg began to do the same procedure to the top of his mouth. The room was tense as the tedious and hard task last for hours.

Then Nadir finally applies the oil to the last spot and leans back. He has a smile as he looks around "its out. ⅓ the way there" and they let out a breath they did not know they were holding.

Christine smiled down at Erik and said to his death like appearance "see honey, we are doing ok love" She then tearley kissed the back of his hand. If Erik could smile, he would. To say the last few hours of hearing his own flesh being prodded at without even feeling it was weird, was an understatement.

Nador moved to take Megs spot at the top of the throat. Then he began to cut out Eriks tonsils.

That's when it all went wrong

A momentary flick, a tremor with the scalpel, and Nadir had accidently cut right into a vein. Nadirs eyes grew as blood came gushing out. Christines face turned into one of horror, as Erik began to feel really light headed. One pause, then Nadir set into motion.

He held down the cut to keep blood from seeping out as he yelled "Meg! Grab the suction nossels and get the blood out, Darius, keep track of his vitals, Madam hand me the green bottle of ointment." Everyone moved.

"He's fading fast." Darius announced.

"Shit" muttered Nadir. "Asal! Get Christine on blood stat!" Asal, who had been in the corner of the room, rushed over to the pake Sweeden.

Christine was crying but holding Eriks hand saying over and over "You stay with me Erik. I need you, Stay. I love you."

And Erik was trying. The world did not hurt, but it felt light, too light. Christines face, so scared, was growing hazy. He wa growing scared. But it was her blue eyes that stayed in focused. He could not stand to see them so utterly scared. But he kept looking at them. Long as he could see them, he would stay. This he was determined

Asal jammed the needle into there arms and Christine still kept focus on Erik. Still holding his hand. Minutes ticked by as Nadir smeared a thick pack over the hole, which was not deep, just happen to hit the vein, so he was able to use a skin healing oil that could seal the hole. Then slowly Eriks world became more into focus.

But this did not help his state of mind because his Christine was growing more and more pale. Her stomach was writhing and she was starting to black out. Her ears rang. But she kept eye contact, like she knew that keeping eye contact would keep him there.

Then finally Darius announced they could take out the I.v. Christine sank as far as she could onto her pillows, trying so hard not to puke. Erik kept staring as Nadir was able to pick up the operation from there, and ten minutes later, Erik was tonsil free. Something which Erik had not minded as it caused him to get ill even before this multiple times, making it hard to sing and function. What was hard was seeing Christine so pale because of him. She was hurting and it was his fault. He really needed to make it up to her he thought as he watched her pale face stay concentrated on his own.

Then came the scariest part. The vocal chords. Nadir took a sip of water and then, opening his jaw as wide as possible, he began to clean and rub oil on the rings that caused such beautiful music. Even covered in painful rough debree and completely relaxed, they still felt incrediably strong. There was one pocket of scar tissue he needed to drain, and put a skin shrinking oil on. The rest was mostly small infected and dying infected scratches, which he managed to pick off, and applied oil.

With one last plink as dried blood his his pan he threw his arms back laughing. A success. He had done it.

Christine smiled truly for the first time in a long time "See Erik! See! We are ok, We are ok" She kissed his hand with her semi cold lips. Erik was beyond relieved.

After he had sealed the two side slits he said "Ok Erik, this is gonna be the hard part. It is going to hurt like crazy. But I'm going to stick you with a stimulant so you can swallow. Meg, get the liquid ready." She nodded, this would wash clean and help heal everything. When she had it in her hand, he stuck Erik with another needle.

A few seconds ticked by. Then Erik blinked and opened eyes wide in pain. He wanted to puke. Nadir knew he had to hurry. He gestured for meg to come close and give him the liquid. Meg then grabbed his head to keep him still. "Ok Erik, you HAVE to drink this ok? On the count of three. 1.2.3."

On count 3 he pulled back on the disk, freeing his esophagus that lead to his stomach, but still blocking out the windpipe. Imagine being gutted like a fish, then while pulling a hoof through your mouth you had to drink something.

But Erik did, for her. It burnt and burnt, but he did. Nadir sighed with relief when the cup emptied. Then he used a light anstetic to numb the area but not incompaitate it.

It helped enough. So Nadir said a silent prayer, and with a nod to Darius, he pulled the other string that made the disk shrink and pulled out the tube, shutting off the machine. Eriks eyes were wide and he squeezed Christines hand because _he could not breath_. But then Nadir sew the hole at the base of his throat nice and tight.

There was a pause. But then, Erik took a breath. Then another. And another.

Erik was breathing.

Erik had survived.

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It is 2 am, I am bed now, night night


	51. Chapter 51

Back again, also correction to last chapter *Valerius not Valerium

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After another fifteen minutes of wrapping and maneuvering they were done. He had on a wire frame brace that held his neck completely still and straight. Around the wire frame they wrapped bandages to keep dirt out but allowing the stitching to breath as it had no contact with the fabric. The brace made a straight tube from his upturned chin to his chest.

"There, now. You are supposed to remove the wrappings before he bathes, but keep the frame on, he can never move his head until the stitches are all healed. Wash his neck very lightly and do not submerge it. And he is supposed to drink this soothing liquid daily. I don't think he will object to it, it is supposed to be rather refreshing. Only rice and soft to liquid food for a while. Nothing he has to chew. And absolutely no talking or usage of his throat of any kind that does not involve eating, drinking, or breathing. Any questions?" Nadir asked now slightly exhausted.

Christine thinking back to the previous night "What if he makes noise in his sleep?"

Nadir paused thinking.

Then he replied sighing a little "Then he needs the tonic every time he even looks drowsey. In a week and a half I will look at the stitches and see when they can come out. When they can, about two days after, he can begin to talk and remove that brace."

Christine grimaced. She knew Erik would not want the tonic because while it does give you dreamless sleep, you still feel drowsy after. But better drowsy than this whole thing be in vain.

Naadir paused waiting for questions then he smiled and said "Darius, pass around a shot of whisky, we need to toast, for the successful operation!" Darius laughed and did as told. Christine was now looking at Eriks face. They gave him a lot of pain medication when they had finished and so his face was a bit of a relaxed smile.

He didn't know half of what the Persian had said, but all he knew was his Christine looked happy, and he didn't hurt. He was confused why his neck was so stiff and numb, but the fact his angel was next to him made him not care at all. She smiled as she had a sip of whiskey.

Christine kissed Eriks hand and his smile widened, his pupils dilated with the effect of the drug. Darius laughed a little as he looked where Christine was "He is on the clouds right now Christine"

Meg snorted "I bet, I would be too if I just got shot with all that. Here's another cheers to the beautiful power of drugs" She said giggling raising her glass. Everyone did suite, laughing. "Now Nadir, I heard you had some opium…" Nadir grinned and led her away to the kitchen where the smoke would not bother Erik. Darius decided it best to put the lovers to bed as he was sure things were about to get a little too excited for them. Christine was still pale from the blood loss and Eriks sheets were covered in dried blood.

When he and Asal laid both down, he asked Asal to get a sleeping tonic and turned to the pale girl who was smiling at his skeletal friend "Now Christine" She turned to him. "You are to sleep and rest when he does. You've earned it. Rest please."

She sighed. Tonight perhaps, but when Erik stopped needing the tonic, she would follow suite. She did not want to rest while he presumably had so many night terrors. But for now, she would drink the medicine and sleep with her fiance.

"Cheers" She said as she drank hers and darius helped Erik drink his. He was asleep in seconds, and Christine watched him sleep in a haze. Vaguely she could hear laughter of the others as they celebrated, but it was the sound of his steady breaths, a gift from God she was sure, she finally fell asleep.

The next few days were busy to say the least. With the surgery out of the way and their friend finally on his way to health, Nadir and Darius decided to start looking for an apartment. For obvious reasons Darius was the one to go clean out the old one. They wanted one closer to the Opera house so to visit their friend more often, as their bond had strengthened over the past year.

It was meg who found the new apartment, right next to her second job at the bar. And within a week they were moved in. Erik had talked to Nadir before he left.

Nadir dropped a key onto Eriks nightstand "I am giving this to you for emergency. So please, spare me the heart attack to waking up to one of your pranks" Erik gave a small smile and replied

 _Me? Prank? Please. I do not prank. I perform. But Nadir I do have to say, and it is rare for me to do this, But._

 _Thank you. For everything that you have done. You have given me a chance for true happiness for the first time in my life. I will forever be in your debt_

"As I will be forever in yours." they shared a small smile before Nadir went to move into his new apartment.

With Erik out of danger, Christine decided it high time to mail Abba and thank her for her service. Asal had been keeping up with her ever since her return. So a few days after the celebration Christine had Erik ask for her address. She was admit about being the one who writes to her because it was so rare she got to talk or write in her native language. Erik knew some, from listening to her, and he tried to incorporate it into his writing from time to time, because he knew it made her happy. But that was not the same as a full blown conversation in it.

So after getting her address she settled down next to Erik pad in hand. He looked up smiling at her ecstatic expression in the simple joy of writing in her native tongue. He knew she missed it there. Maybe perhaps…

He would have to see Asal about it.

Christine grinned as she began to write

 _Dear Abba,_

 _How on Earth can I thank you enough. Because of your kind heart, my husband to be is finally on his way to recovery. Asal as you know now has a place in our homes and hearts. Her little boy is so precious too. He sits with my Fiance, (Erik is his name, if Asal has not told you) and watches him do small magic tricks, or plays with some small toy, keeping Erik company. He is finally healing, thank God. It has been an uphill battle, but the last surgery was a success and now soon hopefully, Erik may speak again. That sentence alone fills me with unbelievable joy. Speak again. A joy I could not have, if you had not been so kind as to let Darius and Asal in. I really can not thank you enough for this._

 _I hope to meet or hear from you soon_

 _And thank you, with all my heart,_

 _Christine D._

 _P.S. Left a little thank you from us._

 _P.P.S. Also I have to say, I love being able to write in my native language to someone._

And inside Erik had left quite a large amount, 50,000 Francs to be exact (which in modern U.S. dollars would be -inflation included- 1,341,854.56, and if you remember Erik gets the equivalent of over half a million quite frequently and has no taxes, or general monthly payment, this would be nothing to him)

Christine grinned as she knew the person who would receive this would probably faint from joy. She wish she could see it in person. She later told Erik, who only rolled his eyes in affection.

Ever since the surgery they had decided the best way to keep him from moving and hurting his recovery, was to dope him up on pain medication. No one was really complaining as their friend deserved a break after his ordeal, and now they got his breathing under control they could do so. So Erik spent most of his recovery clothey headed, half oblivious to the world, smiling a lot at Christine and little D. They of course would take him off such a heavy dose when they knew for sure he could move his neck. But for now, he spent most of his time in a daze of drugs.

Christine herself was sleeping with him as well, much to everyone's relief. She still took breakfast shifts for Asal, and they seemed to have a nice, but quiet relationship forming. She would often smile fondly at the kitchen table eating breakfast with them, as they talked and laughed in their home language. Erik was normally asleep so she usually took her breakfast with the two. It was nice to watch, a mother and her son. She wondered if maybe that was in her future as well… A little boy or girl lo-

She shook her head to keep from day dreaming. That was still a long ways away. But still the thought did bring her some joy.

She smiled. It was the night before Nadir was due for a visit to check on Erik. She knew from cleaning his neck that it was about healed, that tomorrow he would probably get to take them off, and then, a few days later.. Erik could speak.

She smiled at that, snuggling against Eriks warm side. One step closer. To the day she had been waiting for. Hoping for. 'I know that you would finally be completely happy, get everything you deserves, and I will finally have some peace and happiness too, when I hear you sing once more.' She thought nuzzled next to him, as she drifted off to sleep.

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Had to, that line has been on loop in my head all day.


	52. Chapter 52

So this one may be a wee bit darker than the last...

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Christine held her breath. She was holding Eriks head up so Nadir could unwrap the brace and see if the stitches could come out. Erik did not move a muscle, for fear of it not being healed and messing up. His mouth was a thin line of pain, as they decided to lighten his medication as to better maneuver him today. Even just lightening the dose Erik sweat and his hands shook with withdrawal in Christine's hand. They were definitely going to have to wean him off as soon as he was well. According to Nadir this was not the first time Erik had to go through withdrawal. She shuddered to think of what things probably got him addicted in the first place.

Erik tried to disctract himself by studying Nadirs face as bandages slowly slipped away. One hand in Christines, and another pressed as hard as he could against his churning stomach. He knew he could not puke for fear of destroying his throat. But oh how he needed to. He hoped that he was well enough to remove the stitches because that meant he could puke without muscle damage. If not, he did not know what he would do. All he knew is his stomach was on fire while out at stea in a storm, body aching, his ears were ringing, his skin a cold sweat, his eyes felt like they were pressing fists into his brain, and his throat, while not nearly as painful as it had been these past few months (which gave him hope) still ached with every breath.

Nadir finally unraveled it all and studied the stitches closely. Finally, They were rewarded with a smile. Christine felt like singing. Erik felt like curling up into a ball and never moving again. Nadir made fast work of removing the stitches and wrapping them. The moment Nadir leaned back in success, Eriks hand flew to his mouth.

Christine saw this and immediately grabbed a bucket that she kept next to the bed for emergencies. Without a second thought she held up Erik while he puked into the bucket, and emptied his whole stomach. His mouth tasted foul and the hole which was supposed to be his nose burnt with acid along with his newly healed throat.

Christine settled Erik slowly back against the pillows. "Nadir, could you be as kind as to fetch some water and maybe little bit of that throat soother?" Nadir bowed and hurried to his task. She grabbed a rag off the nightstand, and began to try and clean up Erik, rubbing his hand soothingly.

Nadir came back in and she gave Erik the water quickly. He felt like a dying man in the desert. Again. The water washed away most of the burn and taste, but still the acid ebbed at him. She then gave him the throat soother and it took away the bite. He still felt horrible.

"Nadir, do you think we can take the brace off a little early? I mean if the stitches are healed I am sure everything else is". The Persian cocked his head in thought. Then, upon looking at his friends miserable face, he nodded.

"But no talking until after he is off the pain medication. I would hate to strain his voice while he is throwing up on top of it all." She smiled gratefully and made quick work to remove the brace.

Erik felt slightly better with the contraption off. He never realized how stiff his neck was until it was off. Finally being able to move, he slowly curled up on Christine side clutching his painful stomach and shivering.

She sighed, covering him with the sheet, but nothing more as to avoid a fever. Nadir said watching her action "I suppose it is good then that he could take them out today. Would you like me to stay and help with this? This is one of the few things I have practice with, especially when it comes to him?"

She shook her head "You've done more than enough. But are there any major things I should know about how to… Help him deal with this?"

Nadir bit his lip and said "Well, You give him half, like we did today. You only give him that until he is stable. Then give him none and do this all over again. The second round, he might have more strength and be more persuasive and clever. Which is why when you get to that point, I will come by and take it all home with me, so he can't get to it. He will be very desperate. Very manipulative. But otherwise as you see him now. Oh and… Er" Nadir blushed, but Erik, who could still hear the Persian, waved his hand in consent. He knew what he was going to say, and with as bad as he felt, he really did not care.

The persian looked at his hands and said with mild embarrassment for his friend "He'll… need the bathroom, quite a bit. His stomach you see… Is usually even less of a fan of withdrawal than his mind."

Christine replied tiredly "I can handle that. He got a bit like that with his first bit of medicine. I take it, when he is… not himself and angry, I should probably keep the others out of the room?"

Nadir nodded fervently. "Yes. Definitely. Yes well. I think that is everything. He will probably be stable in a few days, enough for you to lower it down. Might take two weeks in all. He can talk when he is stable the first time, long as he doesn't when he is going through withdrawal. Contact me if anything happens. Me and Darius will be checking up in a few days. Probably Darius because he mentioned taking Asal and the boy out for dinner. And" Nadir chuckled a little "To see the ballet they are performing next week. I don't think Asal or Little D. have ever been to a concert. Well, I will see you sometime soon."

Then he left quietly. Erik was still shivering. She hated to see him so miserable again, and so soon too. Just last night he was fine. So she just went under the sheet with him and held him close, rubbing his back and humming sweet nothings.

About an hour passed before another wave of nausea hit. He still managed, much to his annoyance and surprise, to throw up as much as last time. When she pulled the bucket away, Erik felt something wet on his back. A blush flitted across his cheeks before another wave of nausea hit, and was barely captured by the bucket.

His eyes, so painful and confused, began to water in embarrassment. He tried feebly to push Christine off the bed, as to keep her from getting anything on her. She was confused, but stood. When she did she noticed the dark spot under Erik and nodded. She felt so bad for him, he must feel truly dreadful to be this way. He was almost as bad as when she first discovered him in the coffin months ago.

Without a word she picked him up and carried him to the bathroom. She then removed his clothing and put them in the hamper. After cleaning him, she sat a towel down under him and propped him next to the toilet, so if he needed to puke he could. Then she ran to get Asal to ask if she could change the bedding.

When she returned she found the toilet slightly stained and Erik dry heaving into the loo. She rubbed his back calmly. When he had finished, she picked him up and placed him on the loo and grabbed a bucket. She placed it at his feet as she held him up. Letting him rest his aching head on her shoulders. She stayed with him like that for most of the night. Every ten to thirty minutes he would dry heave, causing his stomach to tense.

It was when it came time for his half dose things got strange. It seemed he was having a moral debate with himself. When she brought out the needle, his eyes lit up, like a starving mans when he sees a fresh plate of food just for him. But then he saw Christines face, and his mind sort of snapped, and he got as far away from the medication as possible. He wanted the medication so badly, but also wanted to get well faster, and instead of halving it, he wanted to totally detox himself, so he could be with her faster.

Christine seemed to catch on. "Erik, you can take it if you need to. I know you are in a large amount of pain."

He was panting. But slowly he shook his head. "You sure you want to try quitting all together?" He nodded, and then gestured for his writing pad.

 _Hide it. Hide it all. I want to get this over with, even if it kills me. It won't. So hide it. Burn it. Destroy it. Before I rip in from your hands. NOW!_

Christine, wanting to respect his thoughts and wishes ran from the room. She ran straight to Asal and gave her all of the morphine. Then she quickly scribbled a note explaining things to Nadir, then pointed and said "Darius and Nadir."

The Persian looked confused but nodded. She grabbed her son (she did not let him out of her sight after what happened in Persia) and went to her Uncle's.

Christine rushed back to Erik who to her great alarm, was swatting at his arms, even though nothing was there. Not wanting him to hurt himself she ran over and held his arms close to his body. He was too weak to fight but his legs seemed to dance slightly, kicking. She wondered why the hell he was reacting so violently to the removal of the drug.

When he finally calmed she asked, relaxing her grip slightly "How many times have you done this? Does that have anything to do with your body reacting so violently?"

He replied with violently shaking hands _Probably because fuck me right? I'm the universal punching bag. And I believe the count is up to 9. I feel so awful… I regret sending it away._

"NINE TIMES! How are you not dead!"

 _Nadir_ But he had to stop for yet another wave of nausea passed over him. When he finished he grabbed the pad back _Christine. I was wrong I can't take this. The bugs. Everywhere. My stomach. Please kill me. Get the drugs. Something. I can't take this_

She knew this was one of those please Nadir mentioned, so she calmly replied "I can't. They aren't here, and you told me not to give them to you. I'm sorry love"

His temper was snapping like logs in hot flames _Sorry? SOrry? God damn you woman! I trusted you! I need them!_

"No Erik. You don't. We will get through this."

 _And how much longer before something else happens and I have to do this again?_

"The rest of your life, because I won't let you do this to yourself again."

Eriks hand nearly broke the pen in half as he wrote _Let me? LET ME? YOu will not-_

But then another wave of nausea hit driving anger from his mind. When he leaned back up he wrote _I am sorry. That was… God Christine. Why are there so many bugs? We pay Asal to keep the bathroom clean don't we!_

"Love. You are seeing things.

 _Sure sure. You say that because you are trying to help her keep her job. Even though she let all these bugs in!_

"Love, I am being honest. You are only imagining it."

 _How can I trust the word of a woman who rips off my mask in front of all of Paris to see._

That hit a nerve. And he knew it. And he was glad because he was mad at her for not keeping some morphine.

Christine looked like she had been slapped. She had to remind herself this was just him reacting over and over, to keep from getting up and leaving him in here alone. So instead she replied in a choked voice, swiftly hiding a single tear "Erik. I love you. You know that. And you know that you can trust me now."

Instead of anger he got sadness. And seeing that pained look in her eye, the look of guilt, his heart broke. His mind, though clearly in upheaval, Forced him to remember all she had been and was currently doing for him, without so much as a complaint. He bowed his head and wrote

 _Christine… I'm sorry. I want you to do something for me. You don't deserve to have me be… this way around you. To see it. I want you to do something for me_

Dreading his reply she asked "What is it love?"

 _I want you to get Nadir and Darius. I want you to stay in their apartment until I am done with this. Nadir while I do care about, I can live with whatever I say to him. But you… After this, I don't think I could bare it if I did something truly… Monst-_

He was cut off by the bugs he saw in his skin. Christine held his arms tight to his torso. Finally the episode past and she read the note. "Erik. I can't leave you like this."

How dare she, he was trying to give her a way out. He tried one more time _I will heal much faster not worrying if I will hurt my angel. Please. For me._

She paused. The mere idea was repulsive. But then a thought came to mind. "How about a compromise. I get Nadir and Asal go with Darius. Nadir takes care of you letting me see you when You can handle it. But I am still here just in case you need me?"

He sighed, wincing a little at his throat which was not exactly happy with the constant stomach acid it has been having. But nodded. Christine smiled and kissed his head and ran to get Asal. After about fifteen minutes, to were she had to get a translated note from Erik, Christine finally got to tell Asal the plan. Asal gave the Swedish girl a hug and left to see her uncle and explain the situation.

Christine sat right back down next to Erik. Dreading this next week.

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So sorta happy sorta not. I mean, he got the stitches out, and once he is off the morphine he should be able to begin to speak. Same time, sucks to see the one you love go through something as hard as this. And I figure with Erik's personality, being on and off addicted to things like this would fit.


	53. Chapter 53

I'm back

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When Nadir came Erik was exhausted, and angry. He hastily traded with Christine. She stepped back and Erik, his eyes blazing at something no one else could see, he opened his mouth to yell. Nadir out of feal quickly clamped Eriks mouth shut. "Now, now. I just fixed your throat, no need to strain it right now" he said in a calm voice. Christine was quite surprised to see how calm Nadir was about this.

"You have done this a lot haven't you?" She asked Nadir, as he held Erik over the bucket as he dry heaved.

"More than I care to admit. Especially since I have been both in this position and Eriks. Although thankfully, I was never coming out of nearly dying" He paused ass Erik wrote something. He read it and nodded to his friend. "And Christine, I hate to be rude, but could you leave us be for a bit? Erik is rather-" Erik started to try and punch and slap his arms. Nadir paused to hold his friend still. He looked at her and resumed his sentence "Rather angry right now. Perhaps start a stew for tonight? I will want him to eat later on when he is too tired to vomit, that way he will have something on his stomach…" He turned back to his friend who was indeed clenching his stomach with his long thin hands.

Christine nodded and cracked the door on her way out. Not thirty minutes into her cooking did she hear from upstairs "CHRISTINE!" The moment she heard Nadirs panicked cry did she dropped her ladle and ran as fast as possible up the stairs to their room. She walked in to see a hysterically sobbing Erik and a rather distressed Nadir. He stood and allowed Christine to run to Eriks side and hold him close. He was mouthing something. She looked at the Persian, her eyes asking.

"He was mouthing and writing your name. Mouthing you had left and over." He crossed his arms and said "I will give you two a moment alone and continue cooking" Then he left down to the kitchen.

"Recipe is on the stove" She called after him. Then she turned back to Erik, who was hugging her tight as he could. She pulled him back some to look at him. She cupped his cheek and wiped his tears with her other hand. "I'm right here love. I'm here. I love you." He looked grateful, then blushed and quickly became angry.

She handed him a notepad as he scribbled _Why are you with me when I am like this! Go! I do not wish you to see me in such a state!_

She sighed as he started to shiver again. She held him a bit further away as she called for Nadir. They traded like this until finally Erik fell asleep, in a cold sweat. Christine had him on her watch and swiftly brought him to their bed. She placed a spare sheet under him and swaddled him in a thick blanket, for his body was shivering horribly. She sighed as she laid back next to him. Nadir came up ten minutes later to check on them. When he saw Erik asleep, he nodded and went down the hall to rest in Asals room. Christine however, just turned to watch Erik. She was exhausted, but did not want to sleep for fear she would sleep when he needed her. After a few hours he awoke and before anything else, Nadir fed him.

Three hours later found Christine holding Erik up in the bathroom again. He was sobbing because he was scared, and did not even understand why he was scared. When he had finally calmed he laid on her shoulder. Christine felt a bit of peace, and before she knew it her head dropped and she fell asleep, only to be woken by Erik jerking forward and nearly hitting the floor as he tried to throw up into the bucket at his feet.

She grabbed him instinctively. He hissed in pain. When he finished puking he grabbed the notepad and scribbled _If you are going to pass out, go to bed, better than falling and dropping my feeble ass._

She sighed and nodded. She called for Nadir and announced she would sleep as long as Nadir had Erik and that he promised to wake her if he needed her. She lay down and immediately fell asleep. Her rest was short, only an hour. But she was able to function well enough, the both floating through, following Eriks constant mood swings. Nadir asked her how she managed an even more tiring schedule when she first came down. She shrugged and only replied with one word. "Love".

He was getting better as the week went on. He was sleeping more, and was able to remain calm for longer periods of time. His fever persisted though, which worried them. It was nearing Nadir's sixth day there when things changed.

Christine was sleeping lightly. She had not wanted to fall asleep, but Erik was sleeping so peacefully, and she had not slept in a day. She felt like she had just closed her eyes when she felt someone grab her hand. Her eyes flew open and they were met with yellow orbs, framed by dark bags of exhaustion. For the first time that week, his eyes were bright and aware. Slightly optimistic, she reached out and felt his head.

Her face broke out into a smile for the first time this week. It was cold, and soft, rather than feverish and sweaty as it had been. Not wanting to get too optimistic just yet, she rolled over and grabbed his notepad. After handing it to him she asked "How are you feeling love?"

The corner of his mouth twitched as he wrote _Better than I have felt in a very long time. I am still sore and tired yes, but otherwise… This is the best I have felt in months_

Christines smile turned into a full on grin. She felt like her soul was singing. She then called for Nadir. The Persian, who had been making lunch came rushing upstairs, slightly out of breath. Then he caught sight of Christines face. He took a sigh of relief and came over to his friend. "How are you Erik?" Christine just handed the note he wrote for her.

Nadir looked up, murmuring a word of thanks before returning to Erik. "Here, let me check a few things…"

Nadir then opened Erik's mouth and looked into the back of his throat, his eyes, and checked his pulse. Then he gave the man in question a huge grin. "Well Erik… I have excellent news. But first. Christine, a glass of water for Erik please…"

She cocked her head but did as she was asked. Erik seem to catch on as his eyes went wide with surprise and… Nerves? Christine was trying to figure it out as Erik shakily drank the glass she provided. When he finished Nadir then said "Now my friends… The moment of truth… Now this will still sound rough, but if this can happen without extreme pain, it means… It worked, that it should heal back to normal, if not better… Erik, would you please speak?"

Erik turned to Christine, fear and excitement flitting across his eyes, and opened his mouth…

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DUN DUN DUN


	54. Chapter 54

SUSPENSE

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To say Erik was nervous when he opened his mouth, was an understatement. But looking into her eyes. Her hopeful blue eyes. He had to try. So taking all of Er- no, his courage, he opened his mouth and spoke, for the first time in weeks.

"I love you." He managed to say. His voice, while horse, gravely, and slightly sore from ill use, really. _Did. Not. Hurt._

His face lit up into a grin of joy, as he said, more to himself than the others "It does not hurt. It does not hurt." Christine looked like she had never heard anything more amazing in her life. She reached up, tears forming in her eyes, and kissed him.

He blinked like he was in a haze. Then he said, looking at them both "Thank you. Thank you both." He was overwhelmed by the relief he felt. The relief of being able to speak, to one day soon, sing again.

Nadir grinned and said "This requires a drink and a bed at home for me, to celebrate a job well done. I will send Asal back today. You good, Christine?" She nodded and he made his hasty retreat, wanting to give the two well deserving lovers, well needed alone time.

Erik then looked at Christine and laughed slightly, "It feels so strange to talk, after not talking for so long. I am sorry Christine, that it is up to its normal standard… " His voice, sounded like his. Not that hollow whisper he has had for months, but actually his voice, just a bit rougher, and very dry. It would take voice training to bring it to normal. But that would come in time. Not could, but would. And this fact made Christine's heart soar

"It is the most beautiful voice I have ever heard, because it is your voice. I have missed that voice. I have missed the way it says I love you…" She trailed off stroking his cheek.

He scooted a little closer next to her "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"You know. I would kiss you, but that would require you to stop talking…" He rolled his eyes and stole a kiss.

"We have plenty of time for words now love." She giggled and kissed him again. He lay back after a moment and looked at his legs.

"Now if we can get these damn things to walk, that would be perfect."

She met his lips and whispered "another time love, but today, let's talk, or occupy our mouths with other activities… oh and" she met his lips again with a smile on them. Then she pulled and finished with

"I love you too"

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AWWWW gooey chapter, even if it short. Now, all they have to do is learn to walk (happy fun times) and get hitched for god sake. BTW you all are awesome and I really do appreciate the reviews and such guys :)


	55. Chapter 55

I'm back

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Erik grit his teeth in frustration. Christine was standing two feet away, arms open. He was up right, holding himself up with his weak arms. Once again, he lunged forward to try and stand on his own two feet. "Come on love, I know we will get it this time."

Erik fell back replying "Then all you know is delusion."

She rolled her eyes and persisted "One more time, come on love. Just think. If you can do this, we can finally put you back on organ, wouldn't that be nice?"

Erik did not reply. He knew Christine was trying to be positive, but he also knew he could not trust his tongue right now. He had learnt the hard way to bite his tongue, as he had let it slip earlier this week, and it had _not_ ended well. But he was frustrated. For over a week and a half they had been trying and he had yet managed a step. His voice seemed the only thing to have been slowly recovering.

It was still rough around the edges, and grew extremely hoarse when he spoke for too long, but it _was_ getting better. He still refused to try singing however. That was one reason he wanted to get back to his music room upstairs. He did not want to sing and retrain his voice in front of Christine. She deserved only the best, but in order for him to return to the best, he needed to hide away in the music room and practice with his organ.

He closed his eyes tightly, anticipating pain as he stood once more. _Think of the organ. Think of her. Think of the organ._ He chanted this in his head while he righted himself. His knees wobbled greatly, already wanting to collapse.

He was about to give up again when Christine spoke. "Erik, look at me. Come to me angel." And he did look at her. She had bags under her eyes, dark purple almost black. Instantly a wave of guilt came over Erik. He knew she stopped sleeping because of him. His damn nightmares kept her up most nights. He knew he could no longer control if he woke up sobbing. His mind, which he had guarded for so long had finally collapsed. He had lost what little sanity he had. Lost all of his dignity with being so helpless. But he had gained Christine, someone who meant more to him than anything, so he could never trade it back. However, this meant Christine was always exhausted having to help him rebuild his mind and body, without so much of a complaint. This is why he had to get better, she needed rest, and only he could give it to her.

This is why he managed to grit his teeth and stumble forward.

He placed a boney foot down, and Christines eyes lit up. "Yes! Yes! Come on love!" She was so hopeful, and he would be damned to crush that hope. So taking all of his willpower, he managed to step forward and collapsed against her small body. His long lanky frame draping over her, panting.

She seemed to want to leap with joy. "Erik! You did it! You walked for the first time in weeks!"

He rolled his eyes, and replied with a small smirk "Yes I did. Want to put this in the baby first book?" She snorted shaking her head.

"Alright joker. Let me help you back to bed. We will try again tomorrow. If you can do it a few more times tomorrow, I will think about the organ."

"You better" he joked. She pulled him back and led him to bed. He was elated and exhausted. His lids were half closed when he heard a small knock. They both looked at Asals door, to see Little D. standing behind her.

"Darius wanted to know if you were up to having him in here for a bit?" She gestured to her son who often did join Erik when he was awake. He loved spending time with the Opera Ghost, because with the ability to speak, Erik could now show him more magic tricks. The child adored them, especially the card tricks.

Christine who was slowly learning the basics of Persian understood enough and was about to reply when Erik said to her surprise, in a hoarse voice "Yes he may, but I am afraid little one" He turned his eyes to the small child wrapped around his mother's legs "I might fall asleep on you. Er- I am very tired you see." He gestured weakly to the bed he was now in. His voice, while still healing, had improved. It was soft now, the voice he had used to talk to Christine when she was young.

The little boy's face lit up and he stepped forward. Christine moved so he could take her seat. He began softly chatting to a very worn Erik, who merily smiled in slight contentment watching the boy talk. "Momma got me this puzzle box see, it is like magic and I wanted to show you…"

Christine joined Asal at the door and smiled at the scene. Erik was not really paying much attention, he enjoyed the child's presence though, for it was always changing. He was a welcome distractions on hours like these. There is only so much one can do while lying in bed for months at a time, and so the his presence was a nice refresher on life outside of his bedroom. Erik barely noticed his eyes finally closing.

Christine knew this would happen so she stood waiting by the door. The moment his eyes were firmly shut she went over to the child who was still softly exclaiming about his new toy, completely unaware his audience had fallen asleep. He was a good kid truly. Christien was glad he liked Erik so much, it made her angel happy to teach and talk to the young child. Asal had decided to wait with Christine, noticing how exhausted Erik was. She looked over at the Swedish girl and attempted to say "Good work?" She pointed to Erik who was asleep.

Christine smiled and replied "Yes. Walked. One time week this." It was a bit of practicing they would do. They would try to speak the other's language while talking as a form of practice. Asal quickly repeated the correct order back and then added in French "That good"

Christine nodded and said with a small sigh "Erik asleep at now. Better get Little D. for sleep" Asal understood. She had watched first hand how bad Eriks nightmares could be, and felt her son did not need to see the man, of whom was like a father at this point, like that.

Christine went to her usual spot in bed and Asal took her son to give him a bath after having visited market earlier that morning. Christine lay as she normally did, and traced the now memorized patterns of his utterly destroyed face. She loved the relaxed expression he currently had. She mused at how rare that expression had been until a week or so ago. Her touch feather light, she traced for a moment, the cheeks that dipped like a steep valley right under his cheek bone, hugging his skull tightly as it could, finally connect with his jaw. Giving him the faintest outline of teeth through the tight skin. He seemed to sense her hand in his sleep, and pressed the cheek into her palm, like Athena did when she was being pet. The cat however, was currently asleep at their feet, almost as tuckered out as her owners, after having chased a few mice in the upper cellars.

Her body was exhausted, but she fought it. Erik would probably wake in a few hours and need her. So instead she occupied herself by studying his face. How could she have been so cruel to the peaceful creature next to her. She knew how hard deformities were, her uncle having had one that left him crippled. She had loved him, been raised to be tolerant, and yet the moment she saw her beloved angels face, she had hurt him for it. Sure, he had been angry. And when angry he could look quite terrifying. But she should have thought of _why_ he had been angry. She certainly would be, if she had been tortured as he was.

Every Night he would reveal more and more of his past. And every night it still shocked her. How could people be that cruel. How dare she add to that list. That too was another reason she never slept. Not only did she want to be their for her angel when he awoke to the painful memories of being beaten, stabbed, _raped…_ But it was the sheer guilt that she had been yet another person to hurt him, she had almost killed him twice now. Once on stage, where the guards could have easily done away with him in _Don Juan Triumphant_ but with this illness. A illness he would not have had she never broken him so completely.

She knew she would carry that guilt possibly forever, regardless of his pleading for her not to. But she still tried to repent, to be there every possible moment. So she did not sleep, for days at a time. Right now, as she studied the hole that was meant to be a nose, she mused on two things. First was how a man with no nose could snore, which Erik was currently managing to do with great success. It puzzled her to no end. Ever since his breathing and voice began to heal, he snored. No matter what position, the snores came. They were not loud, or obnoxious. Simple little snores that were barely above the volume of a forceful sigh. In all honesty they were quite cute, something she would be sure to tease him about when he was a bit better.

The second musing was her trying to figure out how long she had been awake. Judging by how vivid her hallucination had been in the morning bath, she would guess five days. At first the hallucinations terrified her. She would stare at shadowy figures in the corners of her their room, trying her hardest to be still, so they would not see. She wanted to scream but even in her sleep deprived state she did not want to wake Erik. He did not need to know that on a now consistent basis she would see horrible monsters surrounding her. Real monsters too. Not ones of scales or fur, but ones of human flesh. She often cried silently in the night, praying they would go away. They did eventually fade, and soon her fear of them faded too. She was now used to this terrible part of her reality. She doubted even if she did sleep properly from that second on that they would ever go away.

That was another reason she studied his unmasked face, so she could not look and see things she did not wish to see. Even when she closed her eyes, she saw them. Greedy hands, horrible blue eyes. Sometimes they weren't even her memories to dream of, but imaginings of what her angel had been through. Those were worse honestly. To see the one you love, beaten as a small child. Knowing that you did not have the escape that it was not simply a nightmare, but a fact. Some of her worse hallucinations, like the one in the bath this morning, was one of Erik. She could not of course tell him this, she needed him to open up without fear. And if he knew that she could not sleep and was hallucinating partially for his description of his past, he might never open up to her again, and she would never forgive herself.

This morning, he was what her mind imagined him to be at the age of six, so small and helpless. Raoul of all people stood above him, whipping him. Then he dragged the boy closer and punch his shoulder giving a horrid crunch. But that was not the worse part. It was Eriks golden eyes. Eyes of a pleading child. Eyes of truest torment. Eyes she herself had caused that same painful look in.

Christine sat up with a quiet gasp. She had dozed off at the memory and dreamt the scene over again. Tears were in her eyes as she struggled to calm her breathing. A sound, a whimper caught her attention.

Erik was tossing in his sleep from another dark memory. She pushed her own fears aside and woke him for yet another night of horrors.

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Sorry it has been so long, finals ugh. I will be more active this break I swear.


	56. Chapter 56

Isn't recovery fun

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A week and a half passed in this fashion. Erik would teach basic languages to Christine and Asal, play a little piano, walk a few steps and then pass out from exhaustion, only to wake from nightmares a few hours later. Christine was sleeping three hours every six days or so. She only did that much because Darius and Nadir would practically force her to bed during these visits. She refused to sleep in the bedroom, for fear that she might have a nightmare and Erik worry over her. She still refused to tell him how little she actually slept. Erik worried over her, for he knew that she looked so tired. But she had been so supportive of him. She was the reason he was alive right now and healing. He swore to himself almost daily that he would repay her when he could. Or rather work each day to repay this unrepayable gift, her love.

But today was very different. Erik seemed to sense this as Christine wore a more energetic smile when he awoke early Thursday morning. He was more tired than normal, as he had taken quite a while after that night's therapy session to finally go back to sleep. So it surprised him greatly to see his love so lively. He reached over to the nightstand and drank some water before asking her anything. His throat was extremely dry and somewhat sore from over exerting it the day before. After finishing the cup he looked at her questioningly and said "What is the excitement about love? Your Er- I notice you are rather lively today."

Her grin grew as she said cheerfully "Oh you'll see. But first we must wait for Nadir and Darius, who will be arriving shortly after breakfast." He eyed her suspiciously. She only grabbed his breakfast tray in response. Her hands shook greatly, but she tried to ignore it.

Erik however, was now more alert than normal and noticed. "Your hands. I hope that is from excitement"

She was slightly relieved he had made an excuse for it. In all honesty it was because of her lack of sleep and horrible hallucinations she had earlier that morning while alone in the kitchen. She nodded and Erik seemed to accept this. He to her great joy, actually ate everything on his plate, something that seldom happened. Of course, it was a smaller plate than most, but still it was an achievement for him in her opinion. She knew he never needed much food, but when his throat had hurt him so terribly, and even at the beginning of his speech returning he would barely eat or drink anything because the pain it caused.

She was about to gather up his tray when she heard the door open and loud happy greetings from Asal. She squealed and hurried down, almost forgetting to grab the tray. Erik listened but it was impossible to make out what they were saying with how many voices and languages were being exchanged. He was dying to just simply walk down and find out for himself. To just have a simple moment of normalcy out of his bed. They were quite excited, and this annoyed him greatly. He hated not knowing things, even if it did make him a bit childish. He sighed and decide to distract himself rather than sulk. So he began to play the piano. It was a darker song, more due to his frustration than anything. He mused trying to remember the title of the memorized piece. It was one of Bach's organ pieces he had converted over to piano. Although he played it an octave lower to fit his mood. After a while of playing and memorizing music perfectly upon the first or occasional second time of hearing or seeing it, the titles begin to blend together slightly.

Bach's Fugue in D Major, that was it. He pressed down with a bit more emphasis than his normal style upon remembering the title. A few seconds later Christine open the door and he jumped in surprise, having forgotten about the crowd down stairs.

She tilted her head "Was that Bach?" He smiled, his student had perhaps learned a thing or two after all.

"Yes, D major. I decided to skip the prelude, too slow for my current taste." She giggled and sat beside him. "Yes, his preludes can be rather slow. How you manage to take an organ fugue and so easily put it on one set of keys is beyond me. Then again I can barely get marry had a little lamb out of either instrument."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Is this a request for more lessons?" She laughed and shook her head and gave an answer only Christine would come up with.

"No no. I think you'd maim me or the organ for the monstrosity I would perform on it. No, I would rather not know, keeps an element of mystery I think. Besides, if I want to hear a piece I simply have to ask you."

"Well, since we are on the topic, any requests?"

She grinned and pondered a bit. "Hmm… I want a challenge. I know, Toccata and Fugue in D minor"

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Please, that is not a challenge." And began to play. His expression was rather amusing to Christine, as it was borderline board, as his fingers moved at almost blinding speed across the keys, building a beautiful structure of heavy chords and delicate fast melodies. She could tell he certainly favoured the deep low notes as his fingers jumped excitedly from chord to heavy chord. Finally the song concluded and he looked at her. "Honestly, I could play that one in my sleep. It was one of the first organ pieces I learned."

She only shook her head in amazement. He sighed and lay back on the bed to catch his breath. He was growing tired already and needed a break. She gave him a moment and then said "Think you are too tired for a surprise?"

He raised an eyebrow, eyes still closed "So the truth comes out." He sighed and set up looking at her. "I am not as tired as you seem my dear. I hope that the surprise involves you sleeping."

She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture "It might, but that is besides the point, as it is for you, not me silly."

He grimaced at her dismissal. He did not like the way she so readily put off sleep, but for the moment he didn't comment. Instead he asked "Will this explain the crowd in my sitting room."

She rolled her eyes "It is hardly a crowd, but yes it would. Would you like to find out what it is?"

His eyes lit up at the idea and he nodded. Getting gifts was a rather new concept in his life, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. She gave him a peck on the cheek. His grin became wider.

His eyebrow area raised again as she scooped him off the bed. He made no protest, having been used to this method of transport by now. If she was carrying him, that must mean they were traversing down stairs. He was now very eager, as he had not seen outside the walls of his room and bathroom for quite sometime. Even the living room in his own home would be a blessing now. She carefully made their way downstairs. The fireplace was lit, but most seemed to be hovering in the kitchen, chatting quietly.

She gently sat him on the couch. "Now, you'll have to stay down here for a while, at least till you are used to this."

"Used to what?"

She cocked her head to the side, and finally replied "A bit of independence." Then she went to a small closet in the corner of the living room and opened it up to reveal a walker.

She carried it quickly in front of him saying nervously "I figure with this, you can now move about on your own a bit. Build up your way to a cane and then normal. Of course, there is one other benefit to this mobility." She grinned at his anticipating expression. "You can now make your skinny ass to the organ whenever you please, as it is on the first floor."

Eriks eyes lightened several shades and he asked in an excited voice "Can I go to it now?"

She laughed and said "I would be disappointed if you didn't. Here let me help you use this thing first." She guided her hand over his back as he stiffly grabbed the new device. She was happy to hear the sigh of relief when he righted himself and stood on his own two feet. Then slowly, arms trembling slightly he raised and settled down the walker a few inches forward, his feet following. It was a tremendous help he realized, to have something to keep his balance like this. So slowly he managed his way to the music room. Christine was behind him the whole time incase he fell.

As they walked Erik laughed and mused quietly "You would think I am eighty and not twenty seven if you did not know me."

Christine clapped excitedly "So _that's_ how old you are! I told Nadir you were younger than he guessed. Wait, so when _is_ your birthday exactly?"

"I am lucky to know my age at all honestly. I heard it once when my mother was… distracted." Christines face fell. She knew distracted was a mild way to put beating her poor defenseless son senseless. She cleared her throat and tried to lead the conversation out of this dark path.

"You never answered love. I am dreadfully curious." He looked back as the turned a corner. He paused, letting his aching legs rest a second. He decided to make use of the seat they had placed on the device for a moment, so his legs did not give way. Christine guided him down gently and let him breath for a moment.

He sighed and eyed her suspiciously "16th of December… and I will have you know I am not accustomed to any celebration I can see you already plotting. I have never celebrated it before and do not plan to break that tradition."

She rolled her eyes. If there was one thing about Erik it was that he absolutely hated the idea of people celebrating things just for him. He felt he never deserved them and Christine was bound and determined to break that mentality. But for now she ho hummed and Erik chose to put it from his mind for now. Then he looked at her with slight curiosity.

"How old _did_ you think I was?"

She answered without thinking "I really had no clue. It is rather hard to guess your age based on your apperance." Her eyes widened as she clasped her hand to her mouth. Curse her tired brain. "Erik, I am so sorry."

Erik froze for a moment. His face was obviously a rather sensitive issue. With just that sentence thousands of memories rushed over him, as it did with any mention of his visage. But he took a composed breath, trying to ignore them. It really was not that bad of a comment. Even he agreed it would be very hard to guess his age based on appearance. So he instead tried his hardest to say in a light voice "No need to apologize… Erik supposes it would be a… hard thing to guess." The age of this repulsive body he added mentally. The wish to cloak himself, hide away under his mask, was extremely high at the moment.

Christine seemed to guess this. So she reached down and gently kissed him. She would show him she loved him, all of him. No words were spoken. No words needed to be. After a pause, Erik decided to break the silence by asking "How old did Nadir guess then?"

She smiled gratefully and helped him back on his feet. "Thirty two" Erik rolled his eyes and said a few joking words about his friend. He was trying. Really. She seemed to sense that and helped him along.

Finally, they reached the music room. Christine had a sneaky grin as she opened the door for him. She had lit all of his candles, giving the room a nice warm glow, with its cream coloured walls and black marble floor. She and Asal must have cleaned it in its disuse. His grand piano sat glistening in the middle of the room. His string instruments all lined neatly against the wall, sheet music was stacked nicely on his desk.

He saw all of this, but what captivated his attention was what was in the middle of the back wall. His organ, his proudest possession. If his legs had been more compliant he was sure he would have run to his beloved instrument that second, after not having it for so long. Too long, he realized looking at its beautiful construction that he himself had crafted.

Christine giggled as he enthusiastically made his way to the organ, not giving a damn about the protest his leg was giving. He sighed in relief sitting on his bench, already raised to the correct height. He noticed the music someone had already placed in front of him. It was named _Christine._ He shook his head, muttering in a voice lighter than it had been in ages "That was supposed to be a surprise for you."

She laughed and rolled her eyes "It still is, as I have never heard you play it."

"And you shall not now either. Not until I rest and warm up a bit. It is a song that deserves no less than perfect, just like its inspiration."

She only grinned happily and took a step back. This was good for him. He could gain back some control, some confidence this way. He felt a wave of nerves, rush over him. Ever since he had made the gorgeous instrument in front of him, he had never been so long without playing. His finger stretched out over the keys. What song should he play? It needed to be easy, one he has memorized with ease.

He smirked as a thought hit him. Nothing too hard, and he knew that it would probably amuse his Christine. So he, for the second time that day, played Toccata Fugue in D minor.

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So Erik finally has his organ back. Also fun fact, Toccata Fugue in D minor was one of the first songs Destler (what my bf would like me to use instead of his name) learned to play on both piano and organ. As well as the Phantoms overture of course. And he calls _me_ the nerdy one.


	57. Chapter 57

I love you all. Winter class is murder. I wish I could drop a chandelier on it.

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Erik collapsed back, thoroughly exhausted. Christine held him up as he panted. He had been playing well over half an hour and while the last peice wasn't as complicated as some of the stuff he had played (the most complex and beautiful being his own) it certainly was interesting. He played well, but she could tell there were still a few mishaps here and there caused by him being so out of practice. Erik despite this, had seemed to keep his good mood simply from the relief that he could play again. Athena was happily watching her owners on a nearby chair, purring when Christine pet her whilst they listened. Christine remained calm and after a moment when he rest against her arm asked "What piece was that? I've never heard it before. It was good, but, odd. Even for you."

He took a second and then answered with a tired smile "It is odd. But, I thought, it would be a lighter one to end on. It's called-" but before he could finish answering, Athena decided she was not getting enough attention anymore and jumped on the organ in an attempt to seek Christine's hand. The moment the cat hit the loud dischord, she puffed up and ran off having scared herself. There was a pause, then Erik burst out laughing. Christine looked at him with amusement. She had on rare occasion heard him laugh, but never this hard. He had tears running down his cheeks and she herself was giggling at the wonderful noise. Then he snorted and Christine was laughing almost as hard. Finally she gasped "N-Never knew you c-could snort"

He laughed a little harder as he stammered out "N-nor d-d-did I"

Finally she calmed down a bit and managed "Now what is s-so funny?"

Erik took as big of breath as he could and opened his mouth to speak, but then began to giggle again thinking about it. It took another few minutes until he was quite sore from all this excitement before he explained, half leaning on Christine for support "It is called the c-cat fugue, by Domenico Scarlatti. He wrote it because he was tired of his cat r-running on his keyboard, so he put it into s-song" They both burst out laughing a bit more.

Finally Erik lay back into Christines arms, beyond worn out. She held him close for a moment, enjoying the feeling of him in her arms. After a moment she said "alright I think it is time for bed. I would let you walk but you are rather tired and I don't want you to over exert yourself. Asal made us a bed in the living room so when you wake you can have some freedom. I want to wait a bit until we try stairs. Ready?"

He was already half asleep, but he managed a nodd. Christine scooped him up and smiled saying more to herself than anyone "Finally feels like I have managed to put some weight on you."

This caught his attention, as he replied with alarm "Is it too much? I can try the walked, I don't want to hurt you…"

She kissed his forehead "No no, I can still carry you, and you are still ridicously under weight. I just meant I you weigh a bit more like you used to."

"I've always been thin… not really sure why though, I mean, once I moved here, I did eat a lot more than was probably wise… simply because I could. But it never really changed, and I just looked gaunt as always…" He looked down as he always did at mention of his appearance.

"Probably from working around the opera house. And Erik" he looked up, and she smiled. "I love you" then she kissed his forehead. He sighed with some relief. She always knew what to do.

Once she settled him on the sofa, walker within his reach should he want to venture to the half bath on this level, she slumped resting her back against the couch facing the fire. Nadir and Darius had already left and Asal was at the market with her son. They planned this to give the couple some space. She looked up again, checking he was still sleeping. He was so she decided now would be a good time to get herself some coffee as she would not dare sleep while she was the only one watching him.

She knew he was out of danger these days. His voice almost back to normal, his muscles were better, his breathing better. He was healing. But his nightmares, her nightmares, still haunted them. She still held him nightly as he told her of another dark day in his past. His tears mingling with her own. And then, when he did sleep, the mere thought of facing those evil hands, what they did to her and her mother… She shuttered. No, it was much better to not sleep. To put it off as long as possible. She could endure the aches and nausea, but not the nightmares. Nightmares she faced alone because she could not find it fair to burden him more mentions of her past, not when he was trying to heal himself.

So she slowly crept to the kitchen to brew some coffee. While she was in there, she looked into the reflection of the kettle. And in it she saw the hands again. She turned around and in front of her she saw her mother dead on the floor. She was stunned. She blinked and she disapeared, then she blinked again and she came back in vivid detail. Christine put her hand over her mouth to hold in her scream. Trying so hard to convince herself its not real.

She stumbled back and into the kettle. Hot water scalded her hand and arm, clattering to the floor, breaking her hallucination. She screamed from the noise and sudden pain. Hot searing pain was on the areas the water had been. Then she heard Eriks panicked voice and that snapped her focus as she called out, trying hard to not let the pain distract her "I'm fine. Scalded self." Then she turned back to her wound. It thankfully was only on her right arm so she used the left to fan it, walking over to turn on the tap. Much to her surprise and worry she heard rustling from the living room.

"Shit" she muttered as she abandoned her relief to check on him. She was met by Erik rushing towards the door, panting and leaning on his walker, a book under his arm. "Erik I'm fine" he rolled his eyes and pointed to the couch.

"No you aren't. Sit. I'll take care of you."

She shook her head, wincing and the now slightly blistering skin. "Don't wear yourself out. I can handle it."

"I will be fine. You aren't. Please let your Erik take care of _you_ for once." she sighed and sat down, now in too much pain to argue. She began to fan it again as Erik went into the kitchen. She was worried about him doing too much, but knew he'd only get mad if she went in there.

After a few minutes he re-emerged. He looked like he would fall over at any moment with his lack of energy. He tried to hurry over with his walker, nearly falling a few times. In one hand he had a jar of strange sludge and in the other some wraps and wraps.

She stood to meet him, but he only waved at her to sit. Finally he managed to sit on the other side of the sofa. Gently he took Christines hand and examined the injury. He seemed pensive as he studied the wound. Angry red blisters littered and peeled on the back of her hand, stretching up to her exposed forearm. She had her sleeves rolled up at the time to work in the kitchen.

Then, with slightly trembiling hands he took the cool wet rags and gently whipped the wounds. She hissed at the contact and he paused. He said in his most soothing voice (now slightly hoarse from his exhaustion) "Erik is sorry, I wish that this bit wouldn't hurt… He will try to be fast" She only nodded as he continued. She winced at the burnt skin but made no other complaint. Once he was finished he took a few more rags and dipped them in the strange substance. "Erik is sorry this is not as good as it could be, but I only had dried leaves, that do not work as well."

"It's fine." She said quietly. He nodded and began to cover the burns in the salve. The moment it touched the raw flesh, it gave a cooling sensation that brought out a sigh of relief from Christine. A small smile flitted across Eriks lips. Finally, he could be doing something useful. Once her arm was fully covered he took the wraps and wiped a little more salce on them before covering Christines arm in it.

When he finished he sat back "There. We will have to be careful with it. Change the wrap and salve every twelve hours or so, and I am afraid it will most likely scar…" He paused and gave her an expression of the utmost tenderness. He stroked her cheek as he whispered "Christine must learn to be more careful, you gave your poor Erik quite a scare. Erik is dreadfully sorry he can not help more. And that his Christine is in pain."

She leaned into his touch. "It is ok love, thank you, for helping me." Then she looked at the couch turned bed. "Here, I'll clean this stuff off, you need to lay down. You look so tired angel." He was about to protest but Christine had already gotten up and was starting to clear away the medicine with one hand. He did feel exhausted and soon enough he decided to listen to her and lay down. When she finished he patted the a space on the couch in front of him, slowly inching back as he did so. She wanted to, but she knew that she would fall asleep curled next to him like that. So she shook her head "No no. You need some space to rest properly. I'll be fine."

He shook his head "You're hurt. Rest."

"And I shall rest better knowing you are asleep comfortably. I will be fine."

He looked slightly annoyed at being told no, but decided to comprimise instead "Then Christine must agree no cooking until Asal gets back. And she must sit in a chair at least."

She sighed, knowing that this was as good as she would get. She chose the dark arm chair closest to where Erik now lay his head. She moved it forward slightly and took his hand. She rubbed it between her fingers, humming him to sleep. He took a little longer than usual, despite his eventful day. She knew it was because he worried. Finally he drifted asleep. She kept his hand though, thinking.

Staying up would now be much harder than she anticipated, as she could not go and make coffee. Not only did she need two hands but she knew Erik would be very upset to find her going against her word. That had been close. Too close, for Erik finding out about her little sleep issue. She did not want him to focus on her like that. She wanted him to recover and rest. Even now she was mad at herself at her little injury that made him worry and work himself when he was already too tired.

Out of irratation she clenched her injured hand and shot up with pain. She looked down at the wrap annoyed at her forgetfulness. She was now more alert, and that gave her an idea. Any time she was tired, she would clench her hand. Yes… That would keep her up. And so, while she waited on Asal she would squeeze her hand, wincing at the pain but grateful at it keeping her alert.

A week passed in this fashion. Erik would wake from a nightmare usually, be comforted by Christine, then go play Organ until he was tired. She would then settle him back down, to start the process over, with small breaks of food in between. The first three days Erik got used to the walker and began to gain more independence, his legs growing more used to working again. On the fourth day he convinced Christine to move back up stairs again, as he was now able to use the walker on his stare case. She had been apprehensive at first but agreed. A day after her little accident she napped for a few hours while Nadir visited. The rest of the time she would wake herself mainly with coffee and agitating the wrapped hand further. Erik had not been pleased with the slow rate she was healing. He blamed himself mostly, which made Christine guilty and she told him profusely it wasn't his fault, that she just healed slow. But he always replied "You do too much for your Erik. Relax and heal." But she always protested, claiming she was healing. This usually led Erik to his music room so he would not argue and upset Christine with his anger at himself. So by the time Saturday rolled around, she was once again extremely tired.

She sat in a chair next to Erik as he pasionantly played his unearthly music. It was beautiful, dark, and lush music that only Erik could play or write. She was watching his hand. Studying them as they moved with a life of their own. They were quite beautiful hands in her opinion. Long and slender. Delicate with how thin they are, but their movements, so fluid, showed a sense of hidden power and strength. She was so focused on them that she did not notice the startings of her mind playing tricks on her.

One moment she watched the hands play, then something caught the corner of her eye. She looked at the floor past Erik and screamed. She quickly fell out of the chair, crawling as fast as she could to the other side of the room. She was in such distress that she did not notice Erik slam his keys in surprise. He got up quickly and almost collapsed on the floor from his weak legs. He ignored this as he sat down next to her. Saying her name, completely terrifyied for her.

She could not see him. Only Raoul, his father, and cousin, standing over her mothers body, leering at her. The cousin lunged at her only to lean back, laughing as she flinched more into the wall. It was when a flash of yellow came in front of her that she could draw her eyes away from them. When she finally recognized who it was, she clung to him sobbing. Erik was taken aback but then held her close, Finally she seemed calm enough to speak.

Erik held her close, wiping away the tears in her eyes. She was still pale and shaking horribly. Erik paused. Studying her with a very concerned look on his face. Then his eyes opened with realization. He closed his eyes and asked in a soft, composed voice "Christine. When was the last time you slept?"

She shrank away, afraid of the outburst she knew was coming. She mumbled so quietly no one but Erik could have heard "L-last Sunday"

He kept his eyes closed and took a composed breath. He did not want to lash out at her when she was clearly so ill. At the same time he was extremely furious, at multiple people, for multiple reasons. Finally he opened his eyes and said in a gentle, but firm voice "Come on Christine. You are taking a sleeping tonic right now. We will talk about this when you have rested."

Her eyes widened and she began shaking her head furiously. "No no. I'll be fine. I'll be fine."

"Christine" he said with a little less patience. "You are not fine. You are very ill. You need sleep."

"No… No drugs, I can't… that night. Don't… Don't force me to…" She was crying again. Erik suddenly realized what she meant. She had been drugged that night… Oh his poor Christine.

He held her closer rocking her back and forth gently. Saying over and over "Shh. It's ok. I won't make you take it. Shh" Finally she calmed down at his reassurances. So he continued, much softer now "I won't make you take it, but for the sake of your poor Erik will you try to sleep normally then?"

At this she shook her head and mumbled "Nightmares…" He understood that. He stroked her hair, hiding the fact he was now crying from frustration. Oh what could he do? She needed rest.

Finally with no choice he said "Christine you _have_ to sleep. I'll be with you, I'll keep you safe."

"No!" She shouted, now more frightened than before. Erik was at his wits end. Then he came up with an idea out of frustration. It would not be fair but it would work.

Finally he said "Well then. Erik will not sleep until Christine does. He can not bare the guilt that his Christine is in so much pain while he sleeps."

Her eyes widened in horror "No No. Er- you must sleep. You have to."

"And I will, when Christine does." She started to sob again. Erik was very distressed by this. His Christine should not cry. She was to perfect to cry. He wanted to sooth the pain of this.

Suddenly he got an idea. He remembered Christine begging for him to play her father's violin to her when she was ill or could not sleep. He had not tried it in a while, but was sure he could do some basic lullabies at least. He held her away slightly so he could look at her.

Her face was blotchy, red from crying. She looked so broken right now. It tore Erik to bits to see her like this. He said in the sweetest voice he could manage "Why don't I play you to sleep? Surely no nightmares could come after you with music to guide you."

She looked unsure, but she wasn't shaking her head so he thought it was a good sign. "What about you? I need to be there for you…"

He shook his head, giving a slight smile "You my dear, have been there more than enough for me. It is time I be there for you. We will discuss this when you have had some rest. So please, may your angel of music take care of you?"

She considered it for a long while, but then slowly nodded. He smiled with relief. "I would carry you, but I can barely get up on my own as it is."

She gave a teary laugh "It's ok. Here let me help you up… and Erik?"

"Yes Christine?"

"You will rest too right?"

She looked so nervous that Erik could not say anything but "For you, my Christine. For you" She smiled and helped Erik up.

After some time for Christine to get situated in bed and for Erik to tune the out of use violin, he began to play her some soft sweet lullabies. Normally he would do more complex things but he had not played in some time and wanted to give Christine some songs done right, even if simple. She was asleep within three songs. After Erik was sure she was asleep, he set the instrument down, now fuming. He had some choice words for the others. Not only was he mad at himself for not noticing and taking care of her more, but he was down right furious at the three Persians who _knew_ she was not sleeping, and did nothing. He was tired, irratable, and more than a little pissed.

He quickly grabbed his walker, trying hard to be quiet, and not slam it down with every step. He went out to the hall and saw Asal passing with a book. His eyes blazed with anger as he threw his voice down so it would sound as if he were right in her ear. He used the coldest voice he could muster and whispered harshely "Get the other two before I decide to reenact some of the feats _I_ performed in Persia, on you"

She jumped from fright and looked around, finally catching sight of him on top of the stairwell. She had never, in all her life, seen someone look so terrifying. Now she could see why people thought he was a demon. His gold eyes were like fire, set in a skulls face, looming tall over her, even if he was gripping the walker tightly

She knew this could only be about one thing. He must have found out about Christine.

And he did _not_ look happy.

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So Erik is finally well enough to be his tempermental self. This will be an adventure for Nadir and Darius especially. Now we can start to see why he is _The Phantom of the Opera._ Sorry for the long wait, college + travel= no time


	58. Chapter 58

Anger Erik. And shout out to my friend Megan (yes we also call her Meg and yes that is her actual name) for the cool cover image! And I love you all for sticking around this long. Anyways, on with the show.

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Nadir was slightly impressed when he came into the livingroom. Asal looked nervous but the other two men, who were used to Erik temper, were calm. Still, that did not lessen the somewhat impressive feat Erik was managing right now. He was somehow making himself look actually menacing with a walker and in his night wear. He stood in the corner of the room, as far back in the shadows as possible. His eyes were like a cat studying his prey, small angry ambers looming in the dark. His stature, while hunch slightly on the walker, still stood at around two meters.

No one said anything for a moment. Asal held tightly to Darius's arm. Then finally Erik used his abilities to whisper in their all of their ears, even from across the room. His voice was every bit as cold and cruel as it had been when he had lived in Persia. Nadir stood tall but Asal and Darius shivered.

" _Why is it, may I ask, that my Christine... passed out in my music room today, from the fact she has not slept SINCE SUNDAY?! ANd WHY was I not alerted to the fact she was not sleeping?! SUrely YOu KNEW?!"_

They all gulped nervously. No one moved, so Erik continued in the same, furious hiss " _I understand Asal not telling me, as she works for Christine and might fear consequence, but YOU two should have TOLD ME."_

Finally Nadir spoke "We made her sleep when we were here… Erik, she didn't want you to know. We _are_ worried about her too, but we could not make her do anything and until recently you could not do anything. I still don't think you can do much without straining yourself."

That touched a nerve. Erik, out of anger, grabbed a small vase on a side table and lobbed it across the room. It did not go as far as it normally would, but did shatter on the floor next to the group. The fact it did not hit the opposite wall drew a growl from him. He _hated_ the fact he had been so sick and could not take care of Christine like he should. " _Erik would have figured something out! He may be ill, but nothing, NOTHING, would ever stop Erik from taking care of Christine…_ She is… Much too precious" His voice softened at thinking of her, curled up in his arms, sobbing.

He looked directly in Nadir's eyes, angry at the hurt she had been in, angry that he had not known. " _You, have no idea what she has suffered Nadir. No idea. I should kill you for endangering her like this. She doesn't deserve to go through this. Do you know how I found out!? She was hallucinating that those fucking SAVAGES where in her home!"_

Nadir took a step back, slightly shocked now "We didn't know she was that bad"

Erik roared at this point, forgetting to be quite "DIDN'T KNOW! YOU NOT PAYING ATTENTION CAUSED HER TO-"

But what it caused exactly, the three would never know. He was interrupted by a panicked cry "Erik! Where, where are you?!"

"Coming!" He yelled immediately. He winced slightly at the strain. He did not spare the other three another glance as he hurried with his walker to the stairs. He panted from how fast he was rushing, almost missing the top step. Finally he entered their room. She was sat up in bed, a worried expression on her tired face.

"I-I heard yelling and, oh Erik. Here let me help-" He stopped and held up his hand.

"Christine needs to rest. Erik is fine." He went to his side of the bed and carefully drew her onto his shoulder, holding her close. "Erik is sorry, he was not thinking. It will NOT happen again" He emphasized the word as he caught sight of the other three at the door. They rightly hung their heads. Christine drew up closer to him.

"Erik… Let me help you, you look tired." He shook his head and said softly.

"Erik is fine." He was going to continue but she caught sight of the others. Her eyes widened as she seem to catch on to what was happening.

"Erik… It's not their faults. I told them not to." He took a composed breath, trying to keep his temper in check now that she was there. He didn't want to scare her.

He looked at the group once more and said in a firm voice "It is their fault Christine. Asal, I understand. But the other two should have made it known what was going on. You are clearly not well love, and they _should_ have known better. Especially since I trusted them with watching out for you when I couldn't" The second part was said with more force and the two in the door winced. They knew he was right. "But that's ok now. Erik is here and can take care of his Christine. He _won't_ be making the mistake of trusting them with that again."

Nadir decided he prefered Eriks yelling over this. "But Erik… You still aren't well enough for… for me. I-I don't want to tax you. It's my fault you're like this in the first place and you have been so ill and I need to take care of you and-"

He put a finger on her lips. "It is not Christine's fault. Erik did wrong. Erik is well enough now to take care of you. Please let hi-" he sighed and finished more pleading "let me."

She started to tear up and mumbled, afraid of his answer "does this mean you will… stop sharing your past?"

His eyebrow area raised a little in surprise "Is that why you did not tell me?"

"Part of it… It's just… I know how alone you have been in all of this… I was just scared that… That you would shut me out again, face this alone again, if you knew I was staying up to be there for your nightmares…" She looked down and seemed to shrink in size. Eriks heart melted.

"Christine… For right now, I will not. But when you are better, perhaps then. But for the next few weeks I want to help you, focus on you. I know you have more to work through. Maybe perhaps, after you are well enough, I will tell you more then…"

"No!" She shouted jerking up. She looked so hurt. "No more hiding things. I could not bare the idea of you… You facing that alone." She trailed off as she realized her own words. Hadn't she been doing just that? She shook her head. Regardless, he could not do this. "Please… Erik. Promise you will still tell me. I… I need to know."  
He sighed, pinching the small bump above the hole that was his nose. "You really insist don't you? Fine. But this week you are sleeping without interruptions and telling me if _you_ have nightmares or… other issues. After this week I will tell you again. I promise. And don't give me that look. I have managed my whole life with these… issues. Surely another week won't lead to my demise." She did not look happy, but nodded.

Nadir decided this was his moment to come in. Erik had the look of 'if looks could kill' at the mere idea of him entering. He looked at the floor as he came in. "Christine… I-"

"You were doing what was right. I put you in a difficult position. I am sorry."

He raised his head and shook it. "No don't apologize. Erik was right. I should have done more. I am sorry Christine."

"You are very forgiven Nadir. You have done more for us than we could have ever asked for. Isn't that right Erik." She looked pointedly at him.

He looked up and said stubbornly "Erik has nothing to say to Nadir."

She shook her head and turned to the guilty Persian "Don't worry. He'll come around. Once I talk to him…"

"Yes well, I am sure he does not want my presence. And Erik. Don't be mad at Asal and especially her son. She has been through a lot as well you know."

Erik turned icely on him. " _You think me as cruel to do that to her son?And I have already said it was not her fault."_

Nadir jumped in surprise "No, no. I just know you get a bit…" Erik glared at him and took the fact he would not take it out on Asal as the best he would get. "I'll just go…"

And he hurried out of the room. Christine sighed tiredly, rubbing her wrapped hand. Erik was glaring at the door. Finally he looked back at her. He noticed Christines hand and he asked in a small sad voice "That's why it hasn't been healing, isn't it? You've been hurting yourself to not sleep."

She gave a small gasp of surprise "How did you-"

"Because of this…" Erik then lifted his shirt. They had discussed the self harm he had done in the past, but never had he shown her where he did so. He lightly traced a seeming nest of long scratch marks on his lower stomach. Christine traced a particularly wide one as he said softly "Er-I would not show you, but… I think it helps to have someone to relate to… It's easier to avoid nightmares and sleep when you are in pain…" He then gently took the hand on his stomach and pulled his shirt down again. "Christine… Please, don't be like me… You look so exhausted love. I am here… please, lets get some rest. If something wakes you, tell me. If there is one thing you have taught me is that talking helps. But just know, as long as I breath, you will never have to go through that again. So please, don't hurt yourself anymore. For my sake at the very least. There is no need to fear sleep anymore."

And Christine, so tired of being strong, finally collapsed at his words, sobbing. He stroked her hair, holding her close. Then slowly she drifted back to sleep. Erik decided to soon follow as he was very tired. He prayed she would wake him if something happened.

For an hour or so both managed to sleep peacefully. Then Erik began to have a nightmare…

" _HAHA, HE CAN SING, HE CAN DANCE, COME WATCH THE DEVILS CHILD!" Bellowed the camp leader. All around him were faces, distorted and cruel. Laughing as he was whipped. "DANCE DEMON! DANCE!" He moved to avoid the whip. His mother was dancing around the fire as the world spun. Again and again, the whip would crash drawing blood, drawing cheering from the crowd, laughter from his mother. Spinning and spinning. Erik was so dizzy. Then suddenly, the face of one in the crowd caught his attention. It was Christines. Suddenly the room changed to the lair. She yelled at him all of those horrible things. False friend, liar, beast, monster. Pure hate in her eyes. He found himself wanting to crawl back to the spinning room, so he did not have to see her hate. Then suddenly, her face grew more relaxed. It began to pale. Then suddenly, they were both in the lake and he was holding her hand. Her face was… the face of death._

He jerked out of bed panting. He shuddered at the memory. His mind racing he quickly turned to see his Christine asleep, breathing softly. Alive. His breathing calmed slightly and he placed his head into his hands. Every time he closed his eyes he would see the cold dead face. So he held his eyes open and rocked back and forth ever so slightly. He wanted to wake her. Make sure she was truly safe, but knew she needed sleep more. So instead he was tensing his hands, willing himself to not make a sound as tears leaked from his eyes. Erik had been through many things in life, but that was by far the worst moment of his life. He craved to play his music, to drive away the demons, but he knew that would wake Christine. He thought about asking Asal for a drink, but he wanted to be sober if Christine woke.

So he had to settle for trying to still his shaking body. His skin itched and he wished nothing more than to crawl out of it. Be someone else for a while. Someone who had never seen what Christine looks like dead, someone who had never seen her hate them. Someone who had not been cursed with his face. He clenched a fist out of frustration. He needed to do _something._

That is when the notepad he had used to talk for so long. He picked it up, careful not to move Christine. He needed something to focus on, shuttering at the memory again. Perhaps he could draw his angel, alive and well. Maybe that would drive the thought out of his head.

While drawing could never compare to music, it did nevertheless help. He was drawing a memory of her. It was not a happy memory and yet, it was. It was the moment she said yes to his proposal. Despite the fact his vision had been so haizy from being so close to death, he still remembered that look in her eyes. So full of pain and joy, grief and hope. It was the look of true love, for love was a beautiful, painful thing. Yet, it was his favourite memory of her. His living bride to be.

He was just getting to the shading in her hair when he heard a rustle next to him. He quickly put the pad down, glancing at the clock before turning to Christine. She had slept about three hours. Her face was screwed up in pain. Suddenly she gasped forward, reaching forward as she did so. He said her name in a calming voice. She started, looking around. When she saw Erik, tears formed in her eyes. Erik then said softly, "Can E-I hold you?"

He knew from experience that sometimes touching was not the best idea. She took a shuddering breath and managed "G-Give me a minute." Erik nodded, clasping his hands together to show he was not going to touch her. He wanted to though. To hold her and comfort her. But that might make it worse, so he waited. She took a few breaths, slowing her heart rate. Her arms were crossed as she shook as if she were out in the middle of a winter storm. Finally she managed a nod.

Erik moved slowly as not to scare her, and gently pulled her to his chest. He had a protective arm around her as she settled. When she stilled he asked softly "Tell your Erik what happened. It is ok. I promise."

She shook a bit more, but was quiet for a long minute. Erik let her compose her thoughts. Then she stammered "I-I… sawthem. They, They, theyheldmedownagain. M-made you watch as t-they…" She started to cry again. He rubbed her back softly, swaying her. Finally she spilled out the worst part "thentheydidthat to, to youtoo and k-killedyouinfrontof me, nexttomomma…"

"Oh Christine… I'm right here. You're right here… You think about her a lot don't you?" He felt honestly like he had no clue what he was doing. But this was worth a shot perhaps, all he wanted was his Christine happy. She nodded. "Well…" then an idea hit him. "Do you maybe want to visit her sometime soon? When I am well enough I can come with you if you want. Maybe it'll bring you some peace? I know it helped you to visit your father."

She paused thinking. He was glad she was thinking, for it seem to distract her a little.

Finally she whispered "I-I'd like that very much. I just… wish she was here…"

He really did not know what to say here. She was the only one he would ever truly mourn. He was no therapist. Shooting in the dark he said "Well.. Maybe she is? I mean, I am not the most religious man in the world, but perhaps she is here. And I am sure if she could say something she would tell you it's ok now. It is not your fault."

"But why can't she say it herself? Why can't she be here? Why can't Papa be here…" For a second, Erik was reminded of the little girl he had found all those years ago. Far before he fell into any kind of romantic love, this was more… Just caring he supposed. She was a little thing, merely twelve when they met. It had been one of the first things she had asked him, her angel. He felt just as lost as he did then too. So he simply said "Because every song must end Christine. But that does not mean you can not start a new one."

She gave a small watery smile. "I remember that… God that was so long ago, and yet… not." Then she paused and mumbled, "Why would they do. That? T-touch and kill?"

Erik himself had wondered that many times in his life and never could figure out anything else except "they are monsters Christine, nothing more or less…" He stroked her hair softly, trying to think of what to say, so scared of saying the wrong thing. Suddenly he found himself musing out loud "Erik wishes he was a therapist for once. Even though most are poppycock." This took her by surprise and made her giggle a tiny bit. He looked down at her small smile and saw an opportunity to do the one thing he knew helped. Distractions. "Does Christine find that word amusing?"

She nodded slightly. "You usually have such dignified speech so it always catches me off guard when you say things like that."

Yes, this could work Erik thought proudly. "Well, it doesn't make as big of an impact when the Opera Ghost says things like 'If the managers would be as kind as to pull their heads outof their asses, then maybe one day they might live to see a sold out crowd without the necessity for me to crash down the bloody lighting.' Just doesn't have the same impact." She was really giggling now.

"Well, no matter how you say it, they still couldn't pull that epic feat. So I noticed at home you do talk in a more… improper way I suppose. Which makes me wonder.. What do you say when you're drunk around Nadir."

He smiled and said "More than perhaps a lady should hear."

Christine rolled her eyes. "Oh please Erik. I have lived amongst the Opera Rats long enough to not have already heard a fair share…"

Erik scoffed "they might have a vocabulary but they don't know how to phrase it well. You have to do it with some style. For example, instead of calling Calotta a bitch, I would say she sounds like a bitch, in heat, after being fucked in the throat by an ass. It needs layering."

She looked up at him curiously, her eyes shinning with more light than he had seen in awhile. "That was good. How do you layer like that?"

"Is Christine asking for instructions on how to out curse a sailor in a storm?" He was kind of hoping she was. Language like this never bothered him, but seemed to annoy others, but it could be a fun little hobby for her to learn he supposed. And it did seem to make her giggle with the impropriety.

"Perhaps… Do you think it too brash of me? To want to swear so… eloquently?" She looked down a little nervous.

"Of course it is brash, but why does it matter? Language is just language until you use it to offend. Then, offend who deserves it. I myself can speak seven languages fluently and swear in three more. Of course, on occasion, it seems you are not a beginner yourself."

"Like I said, Opera rats"

"Beautiful and horrific creatures indeed. Now Christine my love, you did not sleep long and you still look rather pale. Why not rest some more?" He hated to end the conversation, but part of this was to give her rest. Rest, someone to talk to a bit, and then someone to calm her down and distract her. That was what she needed, so that is what Erik would do, even if it did involve such a odd subject of distraction.

She stilled a bit but looked into his pleading eyes. "Alright… But c-can you play me to sleep again?"

He kissed her head. "Of course Christine. I love you."

She smiled a bit and whispered "I love you too Erik."

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So a bit of mixed feelings in this chapter. Just have to say her new hobby really fits well with "We said things in the dark, We never dared to say" in a funny way. And honestly, I could see Erik, ESPECIALLY when drunk being crass, because why would he need to be proper outside of the opera anyways? Plus it's kind of cute imagining him teaching her curse words in different languages and such as a way to cheer her up. like think about it. The phantom of the opera and little Christine both giggling at the word poppycock and trying to out sass each other.


	59. Chapter 59

So… Sorry this took so long and this chapter is rather lengthy. College and my health have been killing me as of late. But hopefully I can start keeping them rolling again. I love you all

(PSA Everything else is remaining the same but I think little Darius would be more like 4 or 5. So go with that age. I will fix it in my big final edit.)

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The week went by… as smooth as it could given the circumstances. Erik was, understandably, more tired than normal. He'd sleep a couple of hours, wake to a nightmare, draw or compose random thoughts (though he couldn't play them while Christine slept), waited for her to wake, take care of her, cheer her, repeat. This routine seemed to slowly help Christine. At first she obviously still slept little, but through a bunch of giggled swearing and talking about her dreams she began to sleep more. Erik of course was not happy about this. Still his blood seemed to constantly boil at _why_ she had to go through this, but he never shared his thoughts on that out loud. But he did swear, with every nightmare, every tear she shed, that he would find the monsters and kill them the moment he could.

He was… dealing. That was the word he decided on as he pondered this past week, stroking Christine's golden hair. It was harder without the ability to talk to Christine about his memories, but he was living with it. Right now however he faced another problem.

Boredom. It had been four days since he could practice, and quite frankly it was killing him. He had become bored with the limited tetium that drawing can become. It was not music, it had limits. Her sleep was of course, far more important. But this did not stop the itch in his skin as he thought about the dust collecting on his lovely organ. No. He needed something new. His eyes wondered around the well memorized room, barely taking it in. Finally his eyes settled on the walker. Perhaps if he were quiet he could pace.

That seemed like it was better than nothing. So he stood as quietly as possible, grabbing hold of its now well used handles. Slowly he made his way around his room, thinking over this past week. He supposed the most infuriating thing was how weak he felt. She would always be so reluctant to tell him everything, always down playing it and trying to transition the care and questions to himself, to try and take care of him. He paused to put his head in his hands. He felt like he was strong enough now, but she didn't.

God a drink or his organ would be nice right now.

He raised his head and something gold caught his eye. In the corner of the room was a

cane she had got when they brought over the walker. He had not thought to really look at it but had nothing better to do, so he went over and grabbed it, gently carrying it back to the chair by their bed. The handle was gold with intricate patterns. He felt around the edge and was surprised to find a small latch. He flipped it and the top ot the handle flipped up to reveal a small photo of Christine. He stroked the small glass, examining the photo. He remembered the day she had it made. It was a birthday present on her fifteenth from him. She had talked about wanting to try the new photographs for weeks ever since she heard about it. He smiled as he remembered her delighted squeals as she pranced around the vacant practice room, telling him about the photoshoot.

After a pause he closed it again. The cane, was not his first. But it was deffinantly his favourite. Before this it had been scrape peices of wood made into a cane when he was younger so he could still move with a broken leg. After he left Persia he only ever needed it one other time before now. He had been installing his ceiling in his work room and his ladder decided it was a perfect time to completely fall apart. Thankfully he had only broken his leg at the time. For that he had used a simple black cane, too annoyed at his injury to fish around for something nicer.

He sighed, looking at it. Then he looked back at his walker. He had been doing rather well with the walker, and only used it for balance at this point… Perhaps he could try the cane. With a shrug he placed the cane down and slowly stood up, leaning on it for support. This definitely felt weird, but in a way, more freeing. He gave himself a moment to balance. Choosing his left side as that leg needed more support, he placed it down. His legs felt a little weak, but it was the balance that was really hard to get down. After taking a second he began to walk with his cane. It took a second before he could get into a steady, slow, pace. But he managed, only tettering twice.

Movement on the bed caught his attention. He turned to see Christine sitting up in bed. Her face was a mixture of shock and concern, both frozen as she watched his movements. Erik, a little amused by her response said slowly "yeess?"

This seemed to unfreeze her as her eyes flew up to met his. "Y-you're walking, with with just a cane."

He smirked a bit as he replied "It would seem so." Christine took a moment to process this.

Then her smile widened. "You really are getting better, aren't you?"

Erik snorted a bit at her amazement. "Well, with as much work as you put into me for ensuring that, I would hope so."

"I know it's just… Been so long since you've really… walked." Then concern seemed to touch on her amazement. "I wish you would have woken me, you could have fallen."

Erik waved his hand. "While a walker was a relatively new addition to my life, I can not say as much for a cane. I know how to handle myself with one. Besides, you were sleeping so well. I was not tired and wanted something to do."

"Still…" She slowly got out of bed and approached him. Then much to his surprise, she hugged him tightly. He was taken aback by this, almost dropping his new cane. While they had hugged many times before, it had never been while standing. It took him a moment before he regained his senses enough to wrap his long arms around her gently. They did not speak, there was no need to.

After a few moments Christine pulled back and looked up at him. She giggled "You know, I have forgotten how much taller you are than me." He rolled his eyes. Not wanting to destroy this moment of Christine finally treating him as a more capable person, he gently grabbed her hand and led her back to the bed to sit. His legs were getting weak, but he did not want her to know. Instead he played it off by saying "Come, sit. Tell your Erik how you slept."

She followed suite and lightly rested her head on his shoulder. She told him of her dreams, which were not nearly as vivid as they had been earlier this week. He listened patiently, providing his own support when she had finished. Slowly he managed to shift the conversation to lighter topics. She happy he found the little compartment and that he liked the picture. Eventually however, the tone inevitably shifted back to serious.

"Erik?"

"Hmm?" He asked, looking down at her, as they were propped up in bed again. She was stroking his hand, tracing scars gently.

"Will you… Will you start telling me again? I know it has been affecting you…"

He sighed. He knew she would ask eventually. "Erik is managing…"

"Please…"

"Well… Christine, I don't want to hurt you again. I know they bother you as mucha s they bother me. I just want you to be happy, I can live with them."

She was growing very upset. "Erik, I don't want you to be alone. I can not live with the thought of you tossing and turning every night and not being able to help."

"You help by just being there. Besides what is Erik supposed to do? I can not live with the thought of doing that to you again!"

"Erik please… Don't do this."

"Do what, protect you? They are my memories Christine."

Christine grew more scared until finally she said "Then I won't sleep. You are not protecting me. We are in this together Erik. I will not sleep or tell you what I have issues with."

Erik growled in frustration, he needed her to tell him, but was scared of this happening again. "What will Erik do if this happens again? I can not hurt you anymore."

She gently laid a hand on his arm, pleading. "And you won't. If you just trust me. I won't be like this again, I promise. But please, Erik. Trust me. Tell me when you have issues, I want to be there for you. I know, it is hard, but please, have a little faith in me."

He sighed, staring down at her hand. His mind was reeling. It was so hard to trust this would not happen again. At the same time They needed a safeguard. A monitor. Then a thought struck him. "How about this. We can see if Asal will come in and check on us. If one is awake for a long time and the other does not know, she wakes the other. That way, I can be sure you will wake me if something is wrong and vice versa."

She sighed, thinking. She did not want to bother Asal, but it was better than nothing. "All right… What time is it? Should we call her in?"

Erik looked at the small bedside clock. "It is about 9 at night, so she might be up. Want me to go get her?"

Christine shook her head. " No no, I will." She walked away and Erik lay back, thinking idly. Moments later Asal returned with Christine looking concerned.

Erik gave a small laugh at her expression. He said gently in their native tongue "No need to look so frightened. You are not in trouble. In fact quite the opposite. I was hoping to ask you a favor…" After half an hour it was settled. Asal would clean and check on them at night and sleep in the day. Christine would take over cooking for her and Erik as they would sleep at different times than the others in the house. It did not matter too much as to who took what times to sleep, as they lived under ground. Asal decided it best for her to stay up that night too, even though rounds started tomorrow. Christine and Erik settled in, deciding to stay up until next evening as well.

A few days went by in such fashion. Erik surprised Christine a day after they began to get there sleeping orders established. She woke to find him at the foot of there bed, leaning slightly on the bed post, buttoning his vest. She sat up, curious. "What are you doing?" She asked yawning. They had both woken several times throughout the night, and were both a little groggy to say the least.

He looked at her, a little surprised. He had not notice her stiring, too concentrated on fighting his buttons. He looked back down at his vest and said smirking "Currently I am trying to figure out if it is possible to punjab a button."

She rolled her eyes "I mean, why are you getting dressed? You better not be going somewhere."

He scoffed, finishing the last button. "I may be smart Christine, but I'm not dumb" It took her a second before she giggled.

"I'm being serious" she said, smiling.

Erik was putting on his tail coat, balancing on the dresser. "I know. I mean, I am not going anywhere. I just… Well, I feel a bit adventurous today and actually want to wear clothes and feel like a well… normal Erik? I mean, it has been months since I have worn real clothes. I have rather missed it actually…" His voice added slightly as he caught sight of a mask that was on the floor near his wardrobe. He shook his head and walked over to the chair next to the bed, shoes in one hand, cane in other.

Christine caught sight of the mask and asked "what happened with your mask?"

He didn't look at her as he answered carefully, sliding on a long thin shoe. "Well. I do consider my mask as apart of my normal attire… But when I put it on, I…" He had to stop for a moment. She grabbed his hand comfortingly. He sighed, looking at it. "It reminded me of the damn breathing mask, and I sort of… lost it. I think I have claustrophobia at this point."

She rubbed her thumb soothingly across the back of his hand. "Well, you are at home anyways. Here you do not need it. Though I wish you had woken me."

He shrugged "I wanted to finish getting dressed first."

She nodded and continued "Well… As for the claustrophobia, perhaps you just need a bit of time so your mind can heal. After all, it has been through a lot."

He sighed but nodded in agreement, pulling on his other shoe. After making sure he was ok, she laid back and stretched. She gave a small laugh "I suppose I should dress for the day then as well. It has been a while…"

"You don't have to if you prefer those. I am just doing this for… Confidence I suppose."

She waved her hand, getting up. "No no. I suppose it is a good habit for me to go back to. Now where is my corset?"

Erik shook his head "Must you wear it? It is incrediably bad for your health."

She walked over to her clothes and began to pick out the dress she wanted to wear "Don't say that now. You will weaken my resolve. Besides, These dresses don't fit right without a corset."

Erik walked over, his cane tapping lightly. He looked at the dress she was holding. "May I see it?"

Curious to what he would do, she handed it to him. He walked back over to the chair studying the fabric. After a moment he looked up at her and said "put this on, without the corset. I need a few measurements, but I think I can alter it so you can wear it without one."

She smiled, going behind the changing curtain with it. "You spoil me you know."

"Not nearly enough" he replied quietly, staring at his cane. Finally she came back out. The top did seem to poof awkwardly without the support of her corset, and the stomach seemed off too. He studied it for a moment "You've lost weight. You're about the size you are with a corset on now, so I bet it wouldn't have fit anyways. Suppose it makes sense though, with all the stress you've been having. Alright, you can take it off. I know what to do."

She looked a little confused "Don't you need to measure me?"

He smirked "Of course I do. And I just did. Years of archetect and sewing. How do think that wedding dress fit perfectly? And how do you think all my clothes fit me?"

She blushed a little "I thought you had I don't know… L-looked through my clothes or something… I noticed on occasion sometimes something would go missing."

Erik clenched his teeth. That had not been him… "I did not need to. Also I would hate it if someone did that to me. No… Unfortunately it seems Bouquet had been… Exploring. God, if I had known he would have died _much_ sooner." Christine shuddered

She went behind the dressing wall and started to change back "I do have to say. That is one person I am glad you did away with…"

Erik quite agreed but decided to stay quiet. He knew if he started talking about it he would lose his temper and quite possibly break something, and he was rather fond of his possessions. Instead he was counting the flowers on the changing wall, again. It pleased him that there was an even number of them. Finally Christine stepped out, holding the soft velvet dress in her hands.

Erik took it and carefully stood. "This shouldn't take long." Then he started walking towards the door but Christine followed close.

"I don't want you to fall…"

"I'll be alright love."

She did not look convinced and still followed. Erik sighed but said nothing more. Then she remembered "here, I'll go cook while you work"

"I'm not that hungry, but you should eat." He really did not want to because he was absolutely dying to go to the music room after he fixed her dress, and food was a distraction.

"No You're going to eat something…" When they got down stairs she noticed his hands fidgeting so she added "I'll make it light and fast."

Erik caught her eye and smiled gratefully. " You are a saint." Then he did something that was, in a way, out of character for him. He reached down and kissed her. She was taken aback, normally it was she who initiated a kiss. This made her happy however, for it was a sign of his confidence.

Erik grabbed his sewing supplies and gently sat in his arm chair. He much prefered the cane he decided. He began to stitch the dress, hemming and tucking it to better fit her body without the constriction of the corset. His hands moved gracefully. He wanted to hum as well but feared she would hear. He had just finished when she returned with eggs and toast. He laid the fabric gently on the floor next to him as he began to eat the small plate in front of him. He was eager to get back to his organ and so ate rather quickly. Christine sat across from him, working on her own plate.

"So… I have an idea about the wedding date… I was thinking the fifteenth of December, so we could celebrate your birthday on honeymoon… You mentioned you not wanting it all about you, and this might be a way for you to feel like it is a bit more? Thoughts?" She bit her lip nervously.

Erik looked up surprised. "You are insistent I celebrate it aren't you?" he sighed and added "I suppose, since it would also be about you. But at the same time I fear that I will have… issues with the date. My birthday was always… a difficult day for me." he winced as memories flooded to his mind, but then he held them back.

She wrapped one small hand around his own. "I know, and I am determined to break that pattern. I was going to suggest the wedding be on that day, but I wanted it to be more about you, and so I don't have to worry about our anniversary interfering later on."

He gave a small smile and kissed her hand "You have given this a lot of thought, haven't you?"

She nodded proudly and took another bite of her own food. Then she added casually "You know you will need to make up with Nadir before then."

Erik dropped his fork and looked up sharply. "I will not speak to him or of him."

Christine rolled her eyes and continued calmly "You know you will. Erik, what happened was _my_ fault, not theirs. We owe them so much and it would be wrong not to."

Erik quite nearly broke the chair with his clench on the arm of the chair. "You SHOULD NOT have had to remember that! They _knew_ better!" He said heatedly.

Christine was not having it however as she stood and said with her voice rising "And YOU WOULD BE DEAD ERIK! AND I would have followed… I would be dead..."

Erik groaned and put his head in his hands "This is hard for Erik! THEY HURT YOU CHRISTINE!"

"AND SO HAS EVERYONE ELSE! WE HAVE ALL HURT EACH OTHER AT ONE POINT, BUT FOR THE SAKES OF ALL OUR SANITIES YOU NEED TO GROW THE FU-"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING!" Yelled a third figure on the stairs. They both turned to see Asal glaring at the both of them. "My son is upstairs crying right now because the two people he has come to see as second parents are acting like two immature children!" She turned to Christine and said in a mix of Persian and French "He is just upset because you were in pain when yes, someone should have helped. You are the love of his life Christine and he does have a reason to care." She turned to Erik and said in fluent Persian "And you Erik, should realize that we all three _were_ trying to help, and give my uncle and Nadir a break because they are human and were doing what they thought best at the time. And if you were so worried about her hurting, then maybe you should have thought about that months ago when you _kidnapped her._ " Then she finished by addressing them both "Now go cool off, make up, forgive Nadir. I will go calm Darius down, who I _might remind you_ is the last link I have to _my beloved_ and I would be grateful and kissing the ground he walked on if I got to see him once more!" Then she turned on her heel and stomped upstairs, slamming the door.

Christine took one look at Erik before walking to the kitchen, muttering "Give me a minute." Erik sat in absolute shock. He never would have guessed Asal was even capable of outbursts. Then he thought more on her words.

Perhaps he _had_ been a little hard on him… The part of him kidnapping her stung quite a bit. She had forgiven him for that right? He had been so out of it, but still he hated himself for it... Erik buried his head in his hands. God he really was a monster…

About ten minutes later there was a small knock on the kitchen door frame. Christine did not turn as Erik sighed and walked in, cane tapping, sitting at the table. He looked at his feet as he mumbled, rocking slightly with each word "E-erik is sorry… Christine and Asal is right… He has been very bad… He will apologize to Nadir… And E-erik… His Christine f-forgives E-erik right? Or has he been bad monster all this time?"

She turned to him. It had been apparent she had been crying. Quietly she took the seat next to him. She reached out a hand to touch him, but thought better of it. He was already close to a panic attack she could tell. Gently she said "Erik… I forgave you for that a _long_ time ago. As you forgave me. And you are not a monster Erik. Monsters can't love, and you love me right?"

Slowly he nodded, still looking down. She continued "Erik, I'm sorry for not understanding. To me, it seems simple because well, I am not in love with myself, does that make sense? I hope so… So will you forgive your Christine?"

"N-nothing to forgive…" He mumbled.

"Can… Can I hold you?" He nodded gratefully and she hugged him closely. He cried softly for a bit. The yelling had brought back a lot of memories she was sure.

Finally he spoke "Erik needs to leave to apologise…"

She kissed his head and said "Love, you are still not strong enough for a journey like that…"

But he shook his head "He will be ok… He can do it on cane."

She sighed and kissed his head. "Compromise, We both go and give poor Asal some peace. Maybe get her a small apology gift while we are out."

And it was settled. Nadir graciously accepted Eriks apology- and they all made him nap an hour before leaving for he was rather worn from the excitement- and later that night found them all happy around the dining room table, laughing and enjoying each others company. Asal happily used her new, expensive, cooking equipment and Christine began planning small outings for wedding supplies. The night ended with little Darius falling asleep on his shoulder as they sat around the fire, enjoying each others company. Christine had a little smile on her lips at the scene. Perhaps one day…

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awww little arguement, happy ending, and Erik is finally someone back to normal (for him) the fluff makes my tummy happy. More to come soon.


	60. Chapter 60

Hey, I have returned from the dead (and am sick at home with bronchitis, km) and fyi, This is a very long and very… sexual chapter. Be warned.

O.G.

Erik was fiddling with his shirt hem, sitting rather anxiously in his arm chair by the fire. So unbelievably glad to be able to do so now. He felt almost completely normal. Something foreign to him at this point. Still there was one thing he had not had a chance to practice.

Singing.

He had been putting it off, waiting for a chance to be completely alone to practice. He was entirely self conscious about it. Terrified that he would not have any of the talent he once possessed. And if that were true he _certainly_ did not want to find out with Christine home.

And today was that chance. But that was not the only reason he was nervous. He was nervous because he rather tended to be when Christine went out. The two anxieties together were making him rather jittery in his chair, as he constantly adjusted his legs, playing with his shirt hem, all the while looking down at the book he was supposedly 'reading'. Despite not having absorbed a single word and the same page being opened for the past twenty minutes while Christine got ready.

But he knew she wanted to go shopping for the wedding. And it did allow him to investigate his voice with her out. Finally a door opened and she came out to sit with him and wait for Meg.

And Erik found himself a bit red around the ears as she sat down. Now of course, having slept next to her for months now - a blessing he still could not get over- he knew what she looked like in her night wear, her tea dresses around the house, and a few tired and oddly muggy nights in the cellars, her chemise. He knew she was stunning in all ways, and lately found himself randomly thinking about it more and more. Personally he blamed getting well for the return of his… Darker thoughts.

But for some reason this was different. She was in one of her nicer dresses, her curly hair shining and up, with a little rebellious lock making its way over her face, and even her cheeks had begun to have that glorious pink blush return to them that Erik absolutely adored. She looked so… Lively. The only rather… Driving factor for his blush was the fact her dress was a bit on the side of lower cut. That and she was waiting until last second to slid on her stockings (as she rather hated them) so her pale ankle and little feet were sticking out, which again Erik had seen and yet, those two things together made Erik's mouth run a bit dry.

He looked down at his book for a moment more to shake his head free of other thoughts and give him a second to collect himself. Christine was none the wiser as she was fighting the lock of hair in her face.

When Erik collected himself he looked up again and said with a soft smile, glad his voice had _finally_ returned to normal "You look rather stunning my dear."

She seemed surprised, having thought he was too engrossed with the book to notice her. "Oh, thank you." She smiled and looked him over. He was in casual Persian robes but they suited him well. "You look rather dapper yourself."

To which he rolled his eyes and said with a small laugh "Are you sure you are fit to go out today? You sound rather feverish to me."

She only rolled her own eyes and said "One day you will learn to take a compliment. Anyways. You sure you are alright to watch Darius? Nadir says you should be while we are all getting the clothes and decoration and who knows what else with Meg."

He snorted "Yes, I shall be fine. I don't know if you recall but I am actually decent with kids."

"Except when you tell them a monster will come out from under their bed if they don't take their medicine." She teased, remembering being about twelve and stubbornly refusing the flu medicine Erik would sit on her night stand and practically beg her to drink through the mirror.

He raised his hands and said "In my defense I was a rather naive and worried seventeen year old, I did not want my young friend to die from the flu… Even if it did cause about ten nightmares after." He said shaking his head and remembering having to play her violin for a week straight every night to scare away the monsters while she drank the 'smelly goo'.

"I always forget we are only five years apart." She cocked her head curiously and asked "When did you actually fall in love with me? I mean we have known eachother for..."

"Exactly a decade actually. Since the ninth last month." He said with a chuckle.

"You could have told me! Now I feel bad!" She said with a fake pout.

He shrugged. "You were distracted. Now let me think on your first question… I dare say… Nineteen? I mean I tried to ignore it until you were about twenty. Then well. I gave up denying it."

"Explains the addition of chocolate after most performances. Which I _do_ still expect from my maestro when I resume the stage." She said boldly.

"Of course. I know better than to stand in the way of your sweets." He snorted.

Just then the door opened and Meg arrived. Christine jumped having not realized the time. Meg caught sight of her ankles and giggled. "I swear. My mother would have a heart attack…" She teased as Christine rolled her eyes and went to put on her dreaded stockings and shoes.

Quickly Meg sat down. And once she was sure Christine shut the door, she popped a small bag out of her perse. She tossed it onto Eriks lap saying in one breath "I was at the bar today and I overheard two maids from the old De Chagny house, and they stole a lot, as expected and in my opinion encouraged. But they found this in a small box on the mantel apparently. And well. They let me have it after I explained… I wasn't sure if you wanted it but…"

He looked confused until he opened the bag and blinked in astonishment. It was his ring. The one he wore for years. The ring he gave to Christine. The ring that was taken from her…

With an odd nostalgic air, he slipped off his now ever present gloves and put it on. It still fit his pinky exactly. He gave a small smile and nodded. "This will mean a lot to her… Thank you Meg…"

"I thought… Perhaps instead of an engagement ring… It could be a wedding band? I know how sad she was when he took it…"

"That is a rather marvelous idea, thank you Meg." he said with a small grin. Then hearing the door he quietly replaced the glove and Meg sat up as if she had been standing the whole time. Asal coming out at the same time as well. Hijab in place, grateful Darius got her one for small outings like this last week. And she was rather fond of its soft green. It touched her heart he still remembered her favourite colour, even after all these years.

Christine came over to Erik and gave him a gentle kiss, that to Eriks surprise, lasted far longer than he was expecting. Not that he was complaining. She pulled back and said with a half goofy, half concerned look "Now, please do be careful."

"Naturally. You all have fun." He said, trying to hide his ever present nerves he got when she left.

He sat there for a minute longer, accepting the fact this book might never be fully read as he set it back down with a sigh. His lips still rather tingled with her kiss and he had to shake his mind free of those thoughts.

Right he needed to practice. Darius was upstairs playing according to Asal, so he called up to tell the boy he was in the music room should he need anything. He got some form of reply and Erik went in.

He sat down nervously at the piano. For his comfort- and procrastination- he even bothered to put sheet music for scales on the piano, despite knowing them by heart.

For a long time he just stared at the music, shaking with nerves. Then he took a composed breath, like he had taught Christine to for years. And he opened his mouth and began to sing.

It was definitely not as good as it normally was, but he wa relieved to find the general tone was there, even though it was graveled from ill-use. Slowly he warmed up, testing his range which seemed to be mostly intact. Though he was going to have a hell of a time rebuilding his upper registers, that much he could tell.

It was rather frustrating to note every little set back as he went through carefully and wrote down small notations on what exactly he needed to do. If anyone heard him right now they would still say his voice was rather good. But Christine had heard it in its prime, and so therefore, he was very glad she was not home, as it would be an insult to her.

Thankfully he was determined. And throughout his practice, his stiff voice began to soften and slowly regain some of its original velvet like quality. He rather missed singing in all honesty, and so it was nice to do so, regardless of the frustration he felt as he knew it would take a few weeks for his voice to return to what he deemed 'acceptable' for Christine to hear. He smiled as he got an idea. Perhaps it would be a nice little wedding surprise if the first time she heard him was _at_ the wedding… Yes. that would work well.

He decided to not stress his voice too much on this first private practice session, and so he resumed composing the song he was working on for the wedding. For her. And for an opera he had been toying with for a while. It all fit rather nicely together he had to admit.

Unfortunately however, his thoughts kept drifting back to Christine and that damn dress. And imagining what she would look like without it, something he had respectfully avoided seeing… His hands seem to follow his thoughts and soon the music became very passionate, something more akin to Don Juan than his current opera.

He shifted uncomfortably, regretting the loose fitting Persian robes. His cheeks were rather flushed as he tried desperately to _not_ think about her. How soft she was, how her hips-

He hit a loud purposeful dischord with frustration. Panting as if he had just ran a the length of the opera house.

Thankfully a proper distraction arrived in the form of little Darius coming down stairs to ask about lunch. Erik had never been more grateful for an interruption and so went to cook the young boy something. And deciding it best to spend time with him, and not in that music room alone with his thoughts.

Meanwhile, across Paris, Christine was having a rather similar day…

She blamed Meg. One hundred percent. They had been shopping, Darius and Nadir escaping rather quickly to get tailcoats for little Darius, Erik and themselves. Meg rather giggled at the fit the tailor would have at whatever odd measurements Erik would have on there.

The first few hours went by well enough. Meg of course rather love the excuse to try on any dress she deemed pretty enough to be the maid of honour in. All the while politely keeping in line with Asals small requests for modesty.

But after it was Megs rather hellish idea that brought a rather passionate train of thought to Christine's mind.

Meg dragged them into yet another store. Christine barely took notice this was a very different store… That was until Meg pulled out a bright red garter that was. Then Christine took notice of the thin nightgowns that were coming to fashion, the detailed corsets, garters…

Her throat felt rather restricted as she said scandalized "Meg!"

"What? You are going to do want this on your wedding night..." Then she added with a suggestive smirk "Unless you have already..."

"Uh no… No we have not." She said with an awkward blush. She knew literally nothing about any of this. Sure, on and off she would think about it. Wonder if he was gentle, if those musician…

She shook her head and Meg rolled her eyes. "Well regardless, I am going to set you up. Come on. This corset is cheer…"

For a solid hour the two politely bickered. Meg picking out the most scandalous and Christine the most modest. Naturally it was Asal who found a middle ground and gave her a few things to try on before they would go and get a tailored fit.

A brighter red than any corset in her hand, she went in.

The first few she rejected as she felt she just looked far too awkward. But the finally she found a very soft and rather low necked corset. She found herself with a rather knowing smile as her thoughts drifted back to this morning, where she swore she saw Erik looking a bit longer than normal at her front… Perhaps he really was healthy enough to start… Thinking about those things as well… And she rather liked the idea of him unlac-

She quickly changed out of it to avoid thinking about that further. She found a rather pleasant sheer night gown in the mix as well that was soft and she blushed the deepest red yet as she imagined his reaction to her wearing that. And lastly the garter. Which in a flustered rush, she grabbed the bright red one on top just to leave the changing room and clear her thoughts.

Or to get home to Erik. She still wasn't sure.

Both seemed rather relieved when Christine came home. And again, more because her thoughts kept lingering back to what she just bought, her kiss lasted longer than normal.

Meg smirked in the back ground and went to help Asal put up all the shopping. Asal dragging her son along who was rather grumpy that he had to stop playing with Erik. But he always listened to his mother.

He pulled back rather surprised again. It took him a few minutes before he finally said "So um. Shopping. How did it go?"

She looked a bit startled at the question but answered "Erm. Fine…"

He only nodded and was rather grateful Asal called out saying she was about to start dinner. Both were as they both leapt up to help. Neither really sure what the other was thinking, only that their own thoughts were far too unseemly for them to be alone in the parlor where anyone could walk in.

Both ate rather quickly, and surprised one another as they both wanted to go to bed early. Erik was very glad she changed in another room to say the least. To avoid provoking his unsettled mind he rolled on his side facing the wall when she settled down. Determined not to see her nightgown as he knew it would only end with him forced to take a cold bath.

Oddly enough however, both managed to actually fall asleep. Distracted as they were by thoughts they did not think the other really shared.

Eriks dream however, was quite against his wishes. It started out innocently enough. He simply kissed her forehead, a common gesture from his part. But then her lips kissed his throat instead of his surprised lips. And trailed down. Hand rubbing against his hardening arhousal…

He woke up in some level of confusion as he still felt her hands. He looked down to see that he had flipped on to his back in his sleep, and Christine was grinding against him in hers, he could feel how wet she was even though their night clothes. Her hand resting very suggestively on his hardened length. He hissed with delight but knew he had to stop her. Surely she would stop had she been awake, and not in whatever… Scandalous dream she was having.

Sighing gruffly he shook her shoulder. "Erm. Christine… Christine wake up."

She blinked in confusion. Noticing first how warm it was between her legs. And then were her legs were, draped tightly arounds Eriks thigh. Her hands on his-

She pulled off of him quickly, blushing madder than ever. "Erik! I- erm-"

"It's alright…" He sighed, blushing as well as he shifted uncomfortably. Annoyed at how attractive her blush was. Her breasts through the night gown…

He coughed and forced himself to look at her eyes. "My apologies… It would seem we…"

"Have a lot to discuss?" She offered. He relaxed with some relief and nodded.

"Yes I think that erm. Would be wise…" He took a composed breath and suggested "Boundaries would be perhaps a good place to start… As apparently I am well enough now to need them... I for one rather erm… Propose we avoid actual er well… Sex until the wedding. Maybe we can ease into it. Find what we are more comfortable with? I mean you mentioned wanting to try eventually..."

She nodded. "Agreed… So… Firstly are you… Okay with… This? Out of the two of us I know you have had a longer history with-"

"Christine. I have craved a loving touch all of my life. Believe me. I am okay with trying… And you my dear? I have had longer to deal with my past…"

"I think so… I mean. You seem… You make me feel safe." She finally finished. Even though he was the only one who could see, she could feel his body relax some.

"Good. Good… So are there… any places I shouldn't.. Erm. mess with?"

She shuddered a bit as she thought about the places she had the most nightmares about. Finally she said "My thighs… Don't man handle them… and my knees."

He did not ask for an explanation. He nodded "Thighs and knees off the table. Got it. Anything else? I take it we are um… Only using wandering hands?"

She nodded. "Nothing else say for don't hold down my shoulders. And hands are perfectly fine otherwise." She blushed as she added scandalously "No one has ever even seen my breasts you know… They were left alone that night so… I don't have any qualms about them."

Erik sucked in a breath and squirmed just slightly at the idea. "I'll… Keep that in mind…"

"And boundaries for yourself?" She asked slightly impatient now. She rather wanted to explore this new found territory.

"Just my hips… don't touch them if you can help it… They have a lot of damage… And… Christine?" he remembered then he had to tell her something, or rather remind her and fill her in with more detail. "You… Remember me mentioning a while back that I might have trouble if we… Ever want kids? That it might erm. Take quite a while if it happens at all…"

She nodded with some concern. He swallowed and said "Well… I have, as I am sure you have noticed, quite a bit of scarring from burns um. Down there. And do some of the nerve endings are simply fried. And there is a buildup of scar tissue… So it urm. Takes.. A while. And I feel less with certain things but more with faster f-friction… But basically it causes me to… Have arousal frequently but release borderline seldom. Sometimes nothing comes out, or er, a lot comes out… If I don't finish it is rather…. Ok it fucking hurts." he said with an honest sigh. A bit flustered at having to explain this.

He took a composing breath before continuing "So if you need me to stop I will of course, tell me immediately. But unless you need more for comfort, I might go to the bathroom or something along those lines to fix it. To avoid pain later… Is that okay?"

She gave a sympathetic smile. "Of course dear. Is there… Anything else? And please do tell if I

do anything wrong."

He nodded "Alright… Are you… ready to try?" But instead of answering she boldly kissed him. He was stiff -in many ways- but slowly he began to melt as his hands rested on her waist. He rather loved the soft dip there, his hands curiously tracing the contour, lips never leaving hers. Cautiously her tongue slipped to meet his and they deepened the kiss. He automatically pulled her closer, his hand resting on the small of her back. A small gasp of delighted surprise as she adventurously helt his thin back side. In return he found his hands fighting to pulls back the top of her night gown.

She pulled back and giggled, both in a state of dizzying lust "You and buttons I swear…" And with that she hurriedly undid her top.

Erik barely noticed her own hands undoing his shirt. Instead he found himself preoccupied with his thin lips against her tantalizing exposed shoulder. She gasped in delight as he began to suck and kiss so gently across the pale flesh. This encouraged further exploration. He was nearly purring as she traced his spine.

Then he reached her soft breasts. Glad that she did not have any bad memories here, he took his time. Wanting to make sure that this would be a good experience.

They were on the smaller side. But on her, they were perfect. His lips made their way to settle in between both. One hand moving to gently massage one. His lips teasing the other until her nipple was hard as she squirmed under him. Then he finally began to suck them. Drawing out a loud moan from Christine. He was in absolute heaven.

Then finally, it was her hand that slipped lower.

Erik gasped with surprise as her hand gently wrapped around his length. Now it was him that was moaning against the soft skin of her breast. Rather desperately his hand began to rub the small sensitive nub between her legs. Even daring to tease her with his long fingers.

It wasn't long before she was riding her hand, gasping. Her own hand squeezing and pumping him roughly, as he seemed to respond much more the that. She rather liked how long he was, but also oddly thinner in proportion, meaning it was more on the average size in its wideness... Matching the rest of him in a way. Long and proportionally slender. She loved exploring it and seeing what exactly drove him to gasp her name in wild excitement.

He was in absolute heaven, and if his mind weren't so clouded with lust, there would be no doubt he would be questioning if this were real.

But unfortunately she forgot herself for a moment and reality came crashing back down as her other hand moved to his hip.

He froze with fear. Completely froze as memories came flooding back.

Her eyes widened as she realized what she did. She was afraid she hurt him and so very gently asked "E-erik? I… I'm sorry… Are you… okay?"

Her voice snapped him out of it somewhat. Instead of responding, he cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes. Reminding himself he was there. Not in Persia. Not being used and beaten. But safe in his bed with his fiance.

Swallowing he nodded. "I'm okay… Sorry my hip.."

"I know. I just wasn't thinking and I… I am sorry…I won't let it happen again. Do you want to continue?" She asked sincerely.

Slowly he nodded and took a calming breath. "Yes please…"

And so they did. She with a bit more tenderness, and he with more roughness. He needed to forget and was more desperate to hear her moans and feel her soft hand. Each pump over his length was electrifying to say the least, and after a while he soon was able to forget his past again.

His hands worked fast and before he knew it, he felt her tighten in a finish around his fingers. Moaning at how good that felt, and how beautiful her cry of release was. He found himself growing more eager as he imagined something besides hands there.

She seemed gore determined than ever, and found squeezing him and teasing right below his head in a small patch of unscarred skin, had him bucking frantically. He managed to give her a smaller second orgasm, teasing her g spot rather quickly, before his back arched and his own blissful fish took over, her name on his lips.

They lay there for a while. Gasping for air. Then Erik gave a rather exuberated and breathless chuckle in his ecstasy. "That was… Amazing… You?"

"Yeah… You… I swear your hands are a gift from god." She giggled. He rolled his eyes in another small chuckled, bringing her close to him and drawing covers around them. Wiping off his stomach first before pulling her to his chest. Burying his cheek in her hair.

"I love you more than you could possible know, my angel…" He murmured. "This has truly been a gift…" and to him it was. It felt amazing to be held so tenderly in such an intimate setting. He felt loved and god did he soak up every second of it. He was half afraid it was all a beautiful dream, but her warm soft body pressed against him said otherwise.

"I love you too Erik." Came a peaceful little thrill from Christine. Who was in an equal state of bliss.

Both were asleep before they knew it. And for once, they slept through the night. Not a single nightmare from either.

O.G.

So yeah that is me writing smut. I hope I did not make it too corny. I am planning to work on this story a lot this week so keep an eye out. Love you all 3


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